Chapter 3 Unbreak My Heart
It had been a long day and Yokozawa was exhausted. He loved his job and he loved the mobility that was built into it, but he'd spent most of the day travelling to different stores and it was finally catching up to him.
He'd eaten dinner with Hiyori earlier and helped her with her homework, and now she was in bed. Kirishima was still at work. These ends of the cycle days were brutal. Who knew when he'd come home for dinner. He frowned. These two Kirishima powerhouses were getting more and more entrenched in his life and if he would have been forced to be honest, he'd would have admitted that his life was a lot richer as a result and it felt weird being in Kirishima's apartment without him around.
Lucky for him he didn't have to. He was practically a card carrying tsundure guy and it wasn't in his nature to admit that to anybody. It was torture enough just admitting it to himself.
He took a bath and changed into a long-sleeved tee shirt and sweatpants, took a beer out of the fridge, picked up a magazine and flipped through it. His phone rang. It was from Marukawa. It must be Kirishima calling. He sometimes got weird and needy on these long sleepless nights when he was in a race against time to finish up the magazine.
"What is it now, Zen?" He purposely sounded annoyed while calling his lover by his first name, which would be a nice tease, because Zen was always playing with him, and Yokozawa tried to make the playing field even when he could.
"Eh? It's Takano here." Oh, crap. And he sounded like hell. What was he doing calling randomly? Emerald's cycle had just started.
"Masamune? What happened?"
"He left me." That asshole Onodera. Why was he not surprised?
"What did he do? He dumped you? What a bastard. He doesn't deserve a guy like you. Trust me. I knew right from the start what a jerk he was."
"You've got it wrong. It was me. It's all my fault."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's my fault. I - uh, it's hard to tell you over the phone. Can we meet somewhere? I'll buy you a drink."
"I can't right now. I'm not home. I'm babysitting."
"Ah you're playing Mama Kirishima again?"
"Excuse me? Don't call me that!"
"Sorry. Just can I come over? I - need to talk to you." He sounded so vulnerable and needy and so very unlike the usual cocky and confident Takano. Then he remembered how Kirishima told him once how sensitive he thought Takano was and how easily he could go down. Well Masamune wasn't going to go down now if he could help it. He wasn't his oldest and best friend for nothing.
"Yeah, come over. Kirishima isn't here. It's the end of the cycle for Japun. I'll just tell him you're coming over and you have to be quiet because Hiyori is sleeping." He gave him the instructions on how to get there. "If you leave now, you should have enough time to go to your apartment to get clothing and then come over. You can stay in the spare bedroom." Kirishima was going to be pissed off enough as it was with this arrangement with the way his jealous mind worked, so at least he could sweeten the deal by staying in his bed tonight. He already suspected his lover would find ways to get his payback.
After that he texted Kirishima.
Zen. It's me. (Okay, that was stupid. Who else would be texting from this phone number) Don't freak out.
The answer came back rather quickly. He could feel the stress radiating from the words.
Is there any reason I should be freaking out?
Sorry. I pressed send too quickly. Takano's been dumped and he's coming over. Nothing's going to happen. He's staying in the spare room. I'll stay with you. Again. Don't freak out. Nothing's going to happen. He just needs me as a friend and I want to help him out.
You're such a tease. Only you would voluntarily sleep in my bed when you know I won't be making it home until 2 or 3 in the morning. Seriously though I trust you. You're such a good guy. Also, I'm sure you'll make it up to me somehow. (:
Yeah. I figured you'd say that.
Got to go. Ijuuin Sensei is having a meltdown. Again. Only three more days to go! I miss my bear. XXXOOOXXX
Yokozawa caught himself smiling and then frowned again. There. That was better. It had been good becoming close to the Kirishimas although he felt a little worried that Takano seemed to have figured everything out even in his sorrow. Mama Kirishima indeed.
He wondered what had happened with his friend and Onodera. Now that he wasn't in love with his best friend is much easier to view them without too much bias. It was crazy. Masamune had told him last he thought they were getting closer and now, when he'd called he'd sounded bereft. Coulld the same thing have happened again as what happened ten years ago? That couldn't be the case, surely? Oh well, he'd find out soon enough.
There was light knock on the door.
"Yokozawa, hi. I'm sorry for bothering you."
"It's okay. Come in. Take off your coat. I'll heat up some food. Have a beer."
"Thanks."
They talked about work and other casual topics while he heated up the food and retrieved a beer. It was good he'd heated up the leftovers. There was more than enough, and Takano was clearly hungry. He waited for his friend to eat a bit before bothering him with questions.
"So, want to tell me what the hell happened?"
"Well, I told you about this asshole Onodera knows who always makes a point of calling me Saga San to show he knows who I am?"
"Yeah."
"Well he told Onodera he liked him. Onodera said he wasn't interested in him anything except as a friend."
"Sounds familiar."
"Yeah. Except that you're a good guy as opposed to this creep. So even after that he asked Onodera if he could stay at his apartment and you know what he wanted from Onodera. He's basically asking to sleep with him, and Onodera being the wishy washy can't say no guy he is, told him okay."
"Got it."
"So that's when everything went crazy. You know how last night was rainy. We were together on the train talking about a project we were supposed to do. Then we made a run for it to try and get out of the rain as quickly as possible Everything was fine. Then he showed up and told me not to bother Ritsu and I lost all control."
"What happened exactly?"
"I forced him, he was telling me to stop. Shit. Why didn't I just listen to him?"
"What are you saying? Please tell me you didn't rape Onodera San." Oh shit. This could be bad news.
"He didn't want it and I forced him. I'm a complete asshole aren't I."
"Shit! Masamune! What the hell?"
"I don't know how he managed to do it, but he already got a transfer to literature and he hasn't been back to his apartment and didn't answer my messages or calls. When I got to my apartment to get my clothing, he finally called me back, but it was a disaster. I'm an asshole. I know this. I don't know how to have a normal relationship with anyone. Even Sorata. Even Sorata you took back. I can't even take care of a fucking cat!"
"Masamune, you're not an asshole. You made a mistake. It's a huge mistake. It's bad and we both know it, but we both know you're a good person. You need some help. That's all."
"Yeah. I'm so screwed up I need to see a shrink. I'm so screwed up. He was so close - we were so close to things becoming good too."
"You've never done something like this before?"
"Never! No. I mean there was a couple of times when he was a bit confusing, but he's a tsundere. He doesn't tell me what he's feeling at all. He hides it all. I thought it was so obvious we were meant to be together because what are the chances that I'd be his boss and he'd be living right next door to me? It had to be that we were meant to be together, but now I know it's just another reminder of what a useless screw up I am as a human being. Who the fuck cares that I can make a magazine successful if I can't make this work with him?'
"I don't know what to say. I'm shocked, but you're not alone. I'll help you get through this.
"Thanks.. Well. I think I'll take advantage of that guest bedroom if you don't mind."
"Yeah it's fine."
"Mind if I take a bath?"
"Not all. Go ahead."
Oh crap. What was going to happen to Masamune? The only good thing in the picture was he seemed somewhat stable aside from the self-denigrating junk he was spouting. Maybe Kirishima knew a professional who could talk to him. He'd told him he'd had therapy after losing his wife.
He headed to bed and got comfortable after texting Kirishima good night, and if he did happen to inhale the aroma of his lover in the linens, it had been a complete accident and it had certainly not been an attempt to comfort himself at all.
