Love Myself

3

Three soaked swimmers, fresh out of the pool huddled around the diving block. Their hand clasped tightly together. Anxious, excited, feeling like at any moment they were going to burst.

The choppy water moved in waves away from Paige's body until it collided with the ripples from the girl in the next lane. They were dead even, the winner could be decided by who had the longer fingernails. Paige had already covered so much ground after Dawson slipped, but she was running out of pool and, possibly, steam.

Still, Emily watched in amazement, clutching her teammates. She didn't doubt Paige. Paige was their captain, their leader, and she moved like one, in water and on land. If anyone could bring them the victory it would be her.

She was in the second spot on the relay team and after Dawson's back foot slipped off the diving block, putting them far behind from the very beginning, Emily knew it was going to take everything each of them had to close the gap. Her lungs burned when it was her time, legs feeling like there were simply going to give up at any moment. Everything she had to give was left in that pool, but she knew it must look like she had been swimming through sand compared to watching Paige swim the final lap.

The crowd roared all around her. Everyone cheering for the photo finish, the battle of guts and will. The closer the swimmers got the harder Emily's heart pounded, the more wobbly her legs got. Watching Paige has always done something to her, but watching Paige in the heat of competition overloaded her senses.

The roar grew louder and louder as the grip the teammates had on each other grew tighter and tighter. It was still Paige and the swimmer from Duke. They looked so close it was impossible to tell who was winning. Closer, closer, closer, still even. Until…until the crowd erupted. Teammates rushed to the swimmers still bobbing in the pool, waiting for the results.

Paige's grin was brighter than any medal the team would receive that night. She hugged the swimmer from Duke and hoisted herself out of the pool. Emily watched with awe, unable to truly comprehend what she just witnessed. She never doubted Paige, but that didn't make the come-from-behind victory any less astounding.

Everyone rushed Paige so Emily hung back a little, not wanting to smother her. She did, after all, just swim her heart out it would be nice to give her some air. But when Paige looked passed everyone in the crowd until she found Emily, her stomach tightened and the only thing she wanted was to be near Paige. With her, pressed against her, celebrating with her.

Paige pushed her way through the throng of congratulators, heading directly for Emily. Her gaze was so focused, so intense, like she was in the middle of a race all over again. Emily felt the heat of her body rise, her breathing become unsteady, because the look Paige was giving her was the look she had always craved.

Every inch of empty space between them was filled and Emily found herself in the air and spinning, but all she noticed was she was in Paige's arms. "That was you out there, Fields, this win wouldn't have been possible if you hadn't given every last ounce of yourself."

Heat spread like a wildfire across her face and neck. She was embarrassed by how easily her body was always willing to give her away. So when Paige set her back on the ground, Emily looked down to hide her face . She gasped when she felt fingers on her chin. But that was all they were just fingers on her chin and only for a brief moment. When she looked up again, Paige was being pulled by ten different people in ten different directions. She wanted to catch up with her, take her body back from the people that had snatched it, and kiss her. Finally, feel her lips moving with hers. "Paige, wait-" But it was too late. She watch, deflated, as the crowd swallowed up the last she could see of the brunette.

\/\/

Nothing was going as she hoped, okay, aside from the medal she just received for being a part of the winning relay team, but nothing else was going how she hoped. Her body had been humming with excitement for weeks in preparation for the Ivy League Championship meet. This was supposed to be her chance with Paige. Out of the pool, out of the training room, and, if she was lucky, away from their teammates. She had four days and three nights in Providence to make something — anything — happen. Only when she got to her room on Thursday, she realized a flaw in her poorly thought-out plan, because the embroidered name on the second bag said Phillips, not McCullers.

Coach liked to pair upperclassmen with the younger students in overnight situations, seeing it as an opportunity to build team unity as well as a learning experience. Since Paige was fourth year and Emily second, she thought she had a good chance. Instead, she had Phillips, who snored and left wet towels all over the room. Seriously, how did she manage to find so many towel? Surely the hotel had a ten towels per room limit. Emily estimated Phillips had at least 15, all wet, and all on the floor. But the biggest frustration was the Phillips was just not Paige.

And Emily had this idea in her mind of her and Paige talking on her bed. Their bodies casually brushing against the other while they laughed and Paige told stories while gesturing with her hands. Then a hand would somehow end up on a thigh. It didn't matter whose hand or whose thigh, just that it was there. Just that it was the start, a revelation of mutual desires that have been hidden due to fear. But on their shared bed at the Providence Hilton they would be alone and they would be brave.

Phillips emerged from the bathroom squeezing her damp hair with yet another towel. "I'm heading over to Dawson and McCullers' room to finish getting ready." She dropped the towel on the floor and grabbed her bag off the bed. "Are you sure you don't want to come out with us tonight? The club isn't too far from here and we'd be willing to walk you back if you want."

"No, I'm already settled in and the swim today really took a lot out of me. Thank you, though." That was a lie, Emily was on edge, her body twitching and mind racing. She knew what she needed though and it was not a night of dancing with strangers. She needed a night with Paige or the closest thing she could get.

"Suit yourself. I'll probably just crash with Dawson and McCullers' tonight then."

"Goodnight." Emily bit back the feeling of jealousy. Paige, Dawson, and Phillips all had history, not a romantic history as far as she knew, but they were all Seniors and had been on the same relay team for three years. Emily was the new girl. While they welcomed her, they had their own inside jokes and a precise knowledge that comes only from years of training together.

Emily sighed, feeling deflated for the second time today. Her thoughts were racing with images of Paige, dancing, dancing with someone else. Someone that she had just met at the club. She wondered where Paige would put her hands, her legs, where the girl would put her lips. She wondered until she was seething. Ready to go for the throat of an imaginary girl.

With a more aggression than she was intending, Emily pushed her hand into underwear and pinched her clit. Trying to focus on Paige in the water instead of in another girl's arms.

\/\/

Phillips entered her teammates' hotel room and sighed, the smell of her girlfriend's shampoo filled the small room making her stomach flutter gently. She smiled as she eyed the sleeping brunette, knowing that she wasn't that far gone, probably just needing a nap after their exhausting race. Careful not to startle her awake, she crawled into bed beside her and kissed her the spot right below her ear. The spot that always gets her girlfriend's attention. Phillips smiled and kissed the spot again when her girlfriend moan quietly.

"Get a room," Paige stepped out of the bathroom in her sweatpants and faded UPenn swim team shirt.

"We have a room," Dawson said "you're the one who needs to leave. Remember?"

Paige grabbed the hem of her shirt and tugged it down. Then went to work pulling on the cotton of her sweatpants. "Do I look okay?"

Dawson rolled her eyes. "Jesus Lord, you could walk in that room wearing cargo shorts and polo shirt with a popped collar and that girl would still be over-the-moon to see you."

"You could walking in there looking like Snooki is your fashion icon," Phillips added. "All leopard, all the time. You could dress up like the Beast and hand her a replica of Belle's dress. She probably kick you out then, but she'd consider it for way longer than normal. You could…"

"Okay, thanks I get it." She was just nervous. Just nervous, Paige was sure she looked fine. After all Emily had seen her looking worse. It was Emily that held a towel over Paige's bleeding nose after she judged a turn wrong. It was Emily who stayed up with her when she had food poisoning after an ill-advised trip to a seafood buffet. This was just going to be a late night visit between teammates and there was absolutely nothing to be nervous about. Nothing. "You're sure she's there, right? And alone?"

"Unless she snuck someone in as soon as I left then yes. Here, you'll need this." Phillips extended her hand with the keycard for her room in it.

"I would like to add it's about damn time." Dawson stretched across Phillips' lap excited there were go to have the rest of the weekend alone together. Well, that is, with Paige doesn't blow it with Emily.

Phillips kissed her girlfriend's temple and looked back up at Paige. "Seriously, why did it take you so long? You can't tell us you didn't realize she likes you."

"I did, but she's so cute, you know, the way she blushes when I'm around. That little nervous dance that she does when she's not sure how or if to approach me. I guess I wasn't in a hurry for that to end, but after that day in the traini-"

"Oh, shut up about the training room," the girlfriends said in unison before falling over each other, laughing. "Now get lost, you've made this poor girl wait long enough."

"I'm going, I'm going." Paige grabbed her bag and hustled out the door. Once she was outside she paused, not sure if surprising Emily was a good idea. After a beat she heard the giggling coming from her former room and knew she had no choice even if she just wanted somewhere to sleep tonight.

\/\/

Emily wasn't even bothering with quiet, not tonight, not after having to be silent so many times before. This time she wanted to let it all out: the groans, grunts, and growls, all of it. Instead she was loving the tap of the headboard against the wall every time she pumped her fingers into herself. She cried out into the empty room, chanting her desires for something harder and faster and faster and harder. Her left leg was pressed against her chest, her right leg spread wide against the bed and Paige was right, it did feel so much better.

Her free fingers were stroking her clit, matching the cadence of her other had, shaking her body with each beat. She could feel her own walls tighten, the wetness dripping to her hand. "Paige, I - I'm so tight. Close, baby." The pain in her forearm was proving just how tight she actually was, but it just spurred on her thrusts. Fucking faster and harder into herself, curling against her g-spot. Her fingers a blur against her clit. "You feel so good." The dam inside of her was about to burst, with just a…few…more…thrusts. "PAIGE!"

\/\/

Paige stood outside of the dark wood door to Emily's room, tracing the brushed-nickel numbers with her finger, keycard flipping in her other hand. She didn't want to be rude and just barge in, uninvited, unexpected. Emily was expecting to be alone all night and even if she wasn't, it was supposed to be Phillips intruding on her alone time. She curled her hand into a loose fist, preparing to tap on the door, but she hesitated, something catching her attention. With her ear pressed against the door, she held her breath…hoping she heard wrong.

When she heard the unmistakable, rhythmic thumping of a headboard and the strained moans, images of Emily's sweaty, tan body riding someone else's face assaulted her mind. If Emily had snuck someone into her room after Phillips left, Paige couldn't really blame her, she had her chance, but waited too long to take it. That doesn't make the images easier to stomach, though. Her fist clenched and the jealousy began to race through her. She could fight for Emily. She would fight for Emily.

Without a second thought she took out the keycard and sliced it through the lock. Paige realized it's probably not the way to fight for someone - while they are in bed with someone else- but, still, she slipped into the dark room. Not caring about incidentals like right time and wrong time. The door closed quietly behind her with a soft click. And there, on the bed, was one of the most erotic vision she has ever seen.

The sight hit her in the chest like a doctor trying to revive her stopped heart. Emily looked like every tempting vice a person could have rolled into one. Everything that Paige had every wanted to shameless indulge in was laid out before her. Wrapped in bare, olive skin that looked cashmere soft despite being coated in a light sweat. Paige shuddered a sigh of relief and arousal. Emily was alone. Emily was enticing. Emily was on the verge of coming.

Paige's eyes burned as she was unwilling to blink, because even looking away for a second would feel like she was missing magic. She kept her eyes open and focused on the woman on the bed. Watching Emily's fingers enter herself and emerged glistening with silky essence. Emily's generous breasts were being pushed up and together - making them just so damn inviting - by her arms as both of her hands worked her.

Her hips started digging into the bed in sloppy thrust. Her fingers pumping into her with even more force. Paige stared in awe, in lust, in nearly uncontrollable desire as Emily's brows knit together, eyes squeezed shut and her mouth opened in a silent scream. She curled up, abs tense and with one final thrust her world exploded into an inferno. Paige nearly lost her balance at the force she knew Emily had just been hit with. When Emily finally screamed out her pleasure, Paige grabbed the wall for balance, her bones liquid because Emily had screamed her name. For her.

She should have cleared her throat or left the room. That would have been the polite thing to do after witnessing something so private. Paige couldn't leave though, not now, not when Emily's fingers were still buried inside of herself. Instead, she slowly made her way to the bed, stripping off her jacket and dropping it on the floor. She toed her shoes off, never taking her eyes off the vision in the middle of the queen-sized bed. Everything in her was screaming for Emily at that moment. Her heart pounded with a beat in her ears that rang out like, "Em, Em, Em." Nothing, not swimming, not championship glory, not winning had ever tugged at her as much. Emily was a force and resisting was pointless.

The moment the bed dipped, Emily's eyes went wide as she grasped for anything to cover herself with. Fear and embarrassment began to twist at her stomach, but when her eyes finally focused on who her intruder was a new feeling pulled at her. "Paige, wha - what the hell are you doing here?"

6.22.14