Lulu baby sat while Georgie and Spinelli went to Jolene's funeral, again offering moral support for Nadine. As she watched the baby sleep, she thought of Spinelli and how she could get him to realize he still loved her. His daughter was beautiful. It made her wonder what a child would look like if she had one with him. Part of her cringed at the idea of having a baby; she still wasn't ready. But her fantasies of Spinelli included Kendra now that she was here and she wasn't entirely opposed to the prospect of more children.
But the problem still remained. How could she get him to notice her again? She had damaged their relationship when she'd chosen Logan. Spinelli was in love with Georgie now and Lulu didn't want to hurt either of them. She hated the idea of waiting until Georgie was away and then getting Spinelli alone; it seemed sneaky. But she didn't see any other way. It was entirely possible, even plausible, that spending so much time away from Spinelli would prompt Georgie to meet someone else. A year was a long time, after all. Spinelli would be hurt if Georgie found someone else in Europe. Lulu could either cushion the blow by rekindling his love for her before that happened or pick up the pieces when and if Georgie broke his heart. She would rather be a cushion for him than pick up the pieces; that way Spinelli wouldn't be hurt as badly.
There was also the problem of Johnny. How had Lulu gotten herself into a situation where she loved two guys? She was beginning to see Johnny as more of a friend and Spinelli as her love interest, but she also felt she might be able to convince Johnny to leave the mob if she stayed with him. She didn't want anything to happen to him and she was convinced that she could change his life for the better. She hoped she could do it before Georgie left for Europe so she could then explain to him that she only wanted his friendship and then begin making Spinelli fall in love with her again.
Her cell rang and she answered it quickly, not wanting to wake Kendra.
"Hello?"
"Hey," Johnny said. "Wanna have a picnic?"
"I can't right now; I'm baby sitting Kendra for Spinelli. He went to Jolene's funeral."
"Why? I mean, she deceived him; she played with him and-"
"He and Georgie went to support Nadine. Jolene may have been a murderer, but she was also Nadine's sister and the mother of Spinelli's child. Only a sweet guy like Spinelli would feel sad for someone like Jolene."
Johnny frowned on his end. Lulu had been praising Spinelli more and more over the past few months, ever since Logan had hit her and she'd gone to him for help. He wondered, not for the first time, if he should ask her if there was more going on between her and Spinelli than she was letting on.
"They should be back by four. Can I meet you in the park at 4:30?"
"Sounds good."
She smiled as she hung up, thinking of how nice it was to have a picnic without guards; Johnny always managed to give them the slip. But her smile faded as her thoughts turned back to Spinelli. How could she hurt Johnny to be with Spinelli? She had hurt Spinelli to be with Logan. Spinelli was not the type to hold a grudge, though, and she was grateful. She could have lost him as her friend after the way she'd treated him. In fact, she felt that was what she'd deserved, but Spinelli had remained, in his very accurate words, her most trusted and loyal friend.
Lulu jumped when the door opened and Spinelli, Georgie and Nadine walked in. There was also another woman with them; Lulu had never seen her before and assumed that she was one of Nadine and Jolene's relatives. Lulu smiled absently at the four of them. She'd been so deep in thought that she hadn't heard them coming up the stairs.
Nadine smiled sadly as she greeted Lulu and looked at Kendra sleeping in her cradle, which Spinelli was using instead of a crib for now because the rocking motion soothed her to sleep most effectively. He had a crib, but he would move her to that when she was a bit older and didn't need to be rocked as frequently.
The funeral had been one of the most horrible experiences of Nadine's life and she couldn't have gotten through it if it hadn't been for Spinelli and Georgie. Her mother had not come, saying Jolene and Nadine had stopped being her daughters when they'd made the decision to become nurses and join the profession that had killed their father. Their Aunt Raylene came, though, and was eager to meet her grand niece.
"She's got your eyes," Raylene said to Spinelli.
He nodded, smiling as he stroked the baby's hair.
"I know what her mother did, and I'd understand if you didn't want me to be part of-"
"You and Nadine are Kendra's family, too, and so is Nadine's mother. I'm hoping she'll change her mind about meeting her granddaughter. None of you will ever be cut out of our baby's life."
"Thank you," she said, giving him a big hug.
Later, Spinelli and Georgie dropped Aunt Raylene off at the airport so she could go back to Ohio. They decided to have dinner at Kelly's; Mike loved seeing Kendra.
"You're thinking about Maxie, aren't you?" Spinelli said gently as they waited for their food.
Georgie nodded.
"Nadine looked today like I felt then."
"You looked then like Fair Elizabeth looked during Noble Emily's funeral."
"Maxie's fading from the house," she said sadly.
"But never from your heart."
She smiled for the first time in hours.
"You always know the right thing to say."
"Only to you, Lovely one."
She loved when he called her that; it was the nickname she preferred above all the others. He had beamed at her when he'd called her that one day and she'd told him that was what she wanted him to call her.
As they talked and waited for their food, Spinelli fed Kendra. His mood lightened when Georgie smiled at him; it had been a very emotional day for everyone. Kendra was very sensitive to Spinelli's moods and he could tell immediately that she felt better when he did; she relaxed and was much more at ease. Again, he was amazed at their connection, especially considering Kendra's age, only four days. When he looked at her, his belief that she was born to complete him was reinforced. He thought again as he looked into his own eyes staring back at him that he'd been destined to be Kendra's father.
As Georgie and Spinelli talked and ate at Kelly's, Johnny and Lulu were just finishing up their picnic. Johnny had seemed moody and Lulu was trying to think how to ask him what was wrong without seeming as if she were pushing.
"Did something happen with your father?" she finally asked.
"No, I've been thinking about something I need to ask you."
Lulu felt a thrill of fear. This couldn't end well if he was going to ask her what she thought he was.
"Is something going on between you and Spinelli that I should know about?"
Lulu was relieved. Johnny was impulsive and she wanted to be with him, for now, until and unless Spinelli became available and she could fix her past mistakes with him, hopefully after she got Johnny out of the mob. She'd been afraid for a second that he'd been going to ask her to move in with him. His house had burned down and he was living in an apartment across from the Metro Court with Claudia, but it wasn't unreasonable to assume that he could get a place of his own and ask Lulu to live with him.
"No," she said honestly, but she felt guilty because it wasn't the whole truth.
"Why do I get the feeling there's something you're not telling me?"
"It doesn't matter because he's with Georgie."
"Do you love him?"
"He's my best friend."
"That's not what I asked."
"Yes, I love him. He's been my friend when most people would have, and probably should have, baled on me months ago. I humiliated him, Johnny; I broke his heart when I chose Logan, a guy who beat him up right in front of me, and Spinelli stayed my friend. I led him and two other guys on and he still forgave me after I chose the guy he hated. Spinelli doesn't hate many people and I took his friendship and threw it back in his face and he still cares about me. How can you not love a guy like that?"
"Do you wanna be with him?" he demanded.
"I can't be with him; he's got a girlfriend."
"Why can't you give me a straight answer?"
Johnny was angry now and Lulu couldn't blame him, but she couldn't bring herself to admit the truth. She couldn't hurt Johnny when Spinelli wasn't even available; it wouldn't be fair to her or Johnny.
But how could she lie? She'd lied to herself about Logan and that had almost gotten her, Georgie and Spinelli killed. It had gotten Logan himself killed, along with his father. She had hurt Spinelli to be with Logan, twice. If Spinelli was with Georgie, Lulu wouldn't hurt Johnny because of a possibility that something might happen in the future.
"I wanna be with you. Spinelli's happy with Georgie and I'm happy for both of them. They deserve to be together after I hurt them both. I'm happy with you."
She supposed a half truth was better than a lie, at least for now.
"OK," Johnny said, mollified. "I only asked because you've been praising him so much."
"I didn't praise him enough before and I made him feel like I didn't really care about him. I treated him like a toy that I could take out and put away whenever I felt like it. I don't wanna do that to him anymore; he deserves better."
She began helping him clean up the remains of their picnic as she talked. Lulu didn't' know it yet, but her feelings for Spinelli were going to come out in a very unexpected way; it would happen at the wrong time and the wrong person would know. In a few weeks, Lulu was going to have a lot of explaining to do to someone she didn't want to explain anything to where her feelings for Spinelli were concerned.
