Hello again! Iz me, Jax. So, who wants to know the villain of my story? I could tell you now... heh. Ha. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Why would I (sniff) do that? All will be revealed... just not right now. The only story details I am willing to confirm are a camping trip and very large machines. Have fun with theories. Feel free to post them in the comments. Also I had grand total of exactly 0 OC submissions. Zero. Zilch. Nada. It would help if you would send some in. As always, thanks to geographicallycorrect, Mon-Ra, and TheWordNerd424 for letting me use them as characters, ConstellationTemptation, PEACE LOVE SMILE DIP, gravityfallschick, mulzy himself, and my good friend Billcipher4 for letting me Shanghai their characters; and of course mulzypops, for letting me take his story in a weird direction. A very weird direction. So sit back, relax, and enjoy. R&R!
IMPORTANT INFO: All restrictions for OC submission are officially cancelled. All authors are welcome.
(Autumn's [Billcipher4] POV)
I was absentmindedly wandering around the outside of the Mystery (S)hack when we heard the screaming.
"JAX, SLOW THE HELL DOWN!" A female voice was shouting. I froze. Had she yelled "Jax?"
"NEVER! MYSTERY SHACK, HERE WE COME!" This voice was male. If it was who I thought it was, we were all in trouble.
"SLOW DOWN!" Said a third voice, another female. "IF I'M DEAD, HOW CAN I MEET DIPPER?"
"YOU WON'T DIE!" Said still another voice. "JAX, LET'S DRIVE! HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO..."
The crazy gorilla yell went on for about ten seconds. If Jax was actually in Gravity Falls, things were about to get TOTALLY crazy...
-45 Minutes Earlier-
(Jax's POV)
"CHRIST, JAX!" Alyssa shouted. "SLOW DOWN!"
"NO!" I shouted.
The siren behind us grew louder.
"PULL OVER!" The guy yelled.
"OH, GIVE IT A REST, BOB!" Mon-Ra yelled to the man. Bob looked angry.
"LET'S DUMP THE CHUMP!" Geo yelled at me.
"RIGHT! HOLD ON, EVERYBODY!"
I skillfully (luckily) managed to steer us off onto a side road. We slowed down a little bit after a speed bump took us airborne.
"Oof."
"Who said 'Oof?'" Alyssa asked.
Mon-Ra and I were too busy staring at my suitcase to respond.
"Dude, your suitcase just said 'Oof.'" Mon-Ra said.
"Um, I didn't bring a suitcase. We all brought duffel bags. But..." I said, "this is mine."
I kicked the suitcase. It said, "Ow! What the hell?"
I unzipped the bag. Inside sat my friend Doug, writing on a laptop.
"DOUG? WHAT IN THE NAME OF MIKE ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"Uh, writing?"
"You know what I mean. You don't write for GF! You don't even like the show!" My friends recoiled in horror as I said this.
"So?"
"THIS TRIP IS TO GRAVITY FALLS!"
"Oh..."
"And… Why are you in my suitcase?"
"Well… I wanted to come with, and there was WiFi in here…"
Mon-Ra looked at me. "Your suitcase has WiFi?"
"Dude," Geo said, "Why the hell does your suitcase need WiFi?"
"My suitcase doesn't have WiFi…" I looked at Doug.
"I had some spare time." He shrugged.
"Well," Alyssa said, "You're stuck with us."
The rest of the drive passed uneventfully. I had to keep shutting Doug in the suitcase to keep him from telling us what "gigantic nerds" we were. I would usually reply with a comment about Monster Hunter, and he would shut up. Then Bob's squad car, siren blazing, popped out of THE FRIGGIN' WOODS. I swear to god, there were goddamn TREES there and they just... turned into this car.
"I'VE GOTCHA NOW, YOU CRAZY HIPPIES! YOU WERE SPEEDING, DRIVING RECKLESSLY AND..." Bob checked his notes. "NOT SIGNALING LANE CHANGES!"
"Get a LIFE, you weirdo!" Alyssa shouted at him. "YOUR STUPID TRAFFIC LAWS WILL NOT KEEP ME FROM DIPPER!"
I pulled onto Pines Road, no idea what I was doing, and saw the sign.
"GUYS! FORGET THE TRAFFIC COP! THE PORTAL!"
"Jax, are you... JAX, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU BETTER NOT!" Geo shouted at me. With that, I laughed maniacally and slammed the go-kart into the sign.
There was a blinding flash of light, and then the world seemed... brighter. I looked down, and My entire body had been simplified. I glanced back, and saw that everybody had been transformed into cartoon characters. We were in the show.
"Holy crap," Doug said, "what the hell happened to my face?"
"IT'S NOT WEDNESDAY, DOUG!" I shouted. Inside joke. You don't wanna ask.
He began his signature reply, "Everyday is Wednesday, bi-"
"DOUG! THIS IS A K+ FICTION!"
"Well, SORRY, as- sorry." He caught the look I was giving him.
"JAX, SLOW THE HELL DOWN!" Geo shouted.
"NEVER! MYSTERY SHACK, HERE WE COME!" I shouted back.
"SLOW DOWN!" Alyssa shouted at me. "IF I'M DEAD, HOW CAN I MEET DIPPER?"
"YOW WON'T DIE!" Mon-Ra told her. "JAX, LET'S DRIVE! HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!"
"Gorilla yell? Really? Whatever. HOO HOO HOO HOO..." I joined him. Then, we broke through a line of bushes. The go-kart sailed off a small cliff.
"OH, HOLY-" Doug began to yell. I punched him in the face, because whatever came next would not be K+.
The kart landed hard on its side. The girls rolled out of the wagon, then the wagon separated from the kart and rolled down a small hill. It was then promptly hit by lightning, set ablaze, and then it exploded.
"Really?" Geo asked.
"We're in a cartoon. It's all about exaggeration." I said.
"Jax?" There was a brown-haired girl standing over us.
"Who's asking?"
"Autumn. What the HELL ARE YOU DOING!"
"No 'Oh hi, friend, welcome to Gravity Falls?'"
"You do realize that you're stuck here now."
Doug popped out of the suitcase.
"WHAT?! I'M STUCK IN THIS CRAZY PLACE? JA-"
"Doug, if you use my full and proper name, I swear to Cthulhu I will END YOU." Doug sank back into the suitcase.
"Well," said Autumn, you guys are stuck here."
I looked around and noticed the other people standing around. There was one guy, and three other girls, standing around outside. The guy had tan skin and dark hair. Mulzy. They all looked confused. And behind them… HOLY HELL, DIPPER AND MABEL. I never thought I would actually get to meet them. Alyssa looked up. She froze.
"Jax, is that.." She pointed at Dipper.
"Yup."
"And can I…"
"Yup."
She ran past all the confused writers and hit Dipper with all the force of a great typhoon.
"AHHHH!" I guessed it was Dipper screaming. Alyssa jumped back up, then helped him up.
"Sorry, Dippingsauce."
"Hey, I call him that!" Mabel was standing behind them watching this.
"Right, introductions," Autumn continued. "This is Mulzy, PEACE LOVE SMILE DIP, GravityFallsChick, and ConstellationTemptation." They nodded in turn, and ConstellationTemptation said "Call me Stella."
"And you guys are?"
"Right. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Jax. Crew leader, psychopath, DipCifica shipper, and evil genius extraordinaire. This is Mon-Ra, winner of the 2012 Faller award for best Gravity Falls fan fiction."
"Sup."
"Right. And this is Geo, my close personal friend, and a great writer." Geo gave a little wave of hello.
"And the girl back there is Alyssa. She's a great writer, and I think you're all familiar with her. Oh, and this is Doug. He's my idiot friend who stowed away and showed up even though he's not a Faller."
"You're all gigantic nerds," Doug said from inside the suitcase. He then gave me the finger.
"Just ignore the nonbeliever."
"Well," said Mulzy, "Welcome to the falls. Our group would be larger, but some of the members went to Piedmont to find Dipper and Mabel's parents and beat up Shay Gleeful. If they can."
Before anything else could be said, a huge black square appeared in the middle of the field.
"ALL RIGHT, I'M CRASHING THIS PARTY!" Said a voice. A voice I knew well.
A girl stepped out of the portal. Even in the simplified animation state, I recognized her. She was incredibly skinny, and her brown hair was pulled up. She wore jean shorts, a t-shirt with Dimentio on it, a Chaos Heart necklace, and knee-high, purple-and-black-striped socks. She also had a wicked-looking knife. In short, she looked badass.
"Well, you got here differently." She turned at me and smiled.
"What, did you think I was gonna let you have all the fun?"
"Did I miss something?" Geo asked.
"Right. Guys, I'd like to introduce my girlfriend."
"WHAT?!"
All done. Yes, I do have a girlfriend. This is Jax, signing off.
