The Holy Smirk.
By Zess

Summery: Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

Other Stuff: Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested.

Time: Why not today?

Place: South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

Players:

Sora- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.
Riku- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.
Axel- demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.
Roxas- sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.
Fuu- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.

Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font
This is thinking font
'This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'
"This is Riku/Sora/everyone else speaking font"

A/N: Secrets in Love has been UNHALTED! But, I won't lose interest in this story. I plan on updating it daily, in short rapid chapters for who knows how long. Uh, if anyone noticed, there's a new character on the "players" list. Unfortunately, I will not be adding her as her own POV character, because she's a minion. If anyone would like another pairing please just review or PM me. I'm trying to keep this story totally KH related though, so keep them KH characters. If you really really want a LeonCloud or other FF pairing, I'll write you a separate story/one-shot. Just have to ask!

All of this will be written in a slight Dear Diary format. It's a mix between first person conversational, and first person descriptive. And no, I have no rights to KH.

Again, this is dedicated to my awesome reviewers and readers! You guys rock!
Twilight Fire Nobody
Higuchimon


Chapter Three-
Dear Diary: New People Suck

Roxas:

"Hey Roxas?"

'Yeah?' I answered slowly. Just because I could talk to Sora, didn't mean I necessarily wanted to. Actually, that wasn't true at all. It's surprising how attached to the little brat that I've become. He was a lot funnier than I had anticipated, and it almost felt like he really cared. Which was preposterous of course, and if he did care, it was only because I was sort of a part of him. But, he was definitely less annoying than I had thought he would be. I mean, I've always considered myself kind of punkish, and he is most definitely a hardcore prep, so who'da thunk we'd get along?

"What's it like not to have a body?"

I shrugged his shoulders, feeling a little uncomfortable with the subject. I tried to pretend nothing was different with me as much as I could.

'I don't know,' I admitted honestly. 'It's kind of really hard for me to describe. I mean, it feels like I have a body, but I can't see it, and no one can see me.'

He nodded, and I squirmed a little bit. It was night time again, and his skin was starting to get itchy. It seemed to get even itchier in the later hours of the day. Or perhaps it had something to do with his room. Yeah, even though I'm barely passable for a pseudo human I can still be allergic to things, and dust had always been a big one for me. Needless to say, his doom room looked as if he had never cleaned it, and dust coated everything but the king sized bed. I moved his hand and started to scratch over his arms trying to get rid of the itchy feeling. He looked across the room to the full length mirror hanging on his closet doors. He liked to do this when he wanted to talk to me, and not feel like he was talking to himself I guess.

I met his eyes in the reflection and he looked a little disturbed.

"Hey Roxas?"

After a brief moment, me waiting for him to continue, I sighed. It looked like he was waiting for a response.

'Yeah?' I asked again.

"Can you do something for me? Can you promise not to move me around like that? It really freaks me out."

What was I supposed to say? That I couldn't really get him to do anything unless he was completely relaxed? That I had no real control of his body movements unless he let me? I mean, he had stopped fighting with me about looking for Axel, and that was about as major as something could get. Plus, it was after all his body. I would have tried at least to kick the shit out of anybody that had tried to puppet me around too. So I relented.

'Yeah, sure. Sorry.'

"It's no problem!" He said, as he bounced up and down on his bed in his energetic fashion. I had found that he really could not sit still for more then a couple moments. Hyperactive to the extreme. But, I guess he was tired, because he slipped under his blankets and settled into his bed. It was super comfortable, I had to admit.

"Do you sleep?"

Ah, good question. This kid was smart, and constantly put me on the edge.

'I think I can, but I don't have to.'

"Okay, well, goodnight anyways. I think you'll like tomorrow. . ." He said drowsily, already falling asleep. Hey, don't look at me like that; it's not a crime to put someone to sleep! "You can come to all my classes with me. Learn and. . . ." He yawned hugely. "Stuff . . . night Roxas." And then there were only soft snoring sounds. I smiled a little, though I remembered what Sora had asked, and didn't use his body.

College huh? This should be interesting.


Axel:

It was morning and there was someone knocking really loud at the door. Some voice that I didn't recognize was calling for Riku. Well, that's not really all that unusual, I mean, how would I recognize any voice from this time period? All of my friends were. . . I cut myself off there. That's a sad subject that I definitely didn't want to get into.

'Riku, someone's knocking.'

He mumbled something incoherent and rolled over in his sleep, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't make him move, no matter how hard I tried. Giving up on the whole, trying to voice him awake, I continued on to drastic measures. I flittered through his mind until I found the nervous system and sent a light bolt of electricity through it.

He jumped from his bed with a thousand or so spasms, and howling in slight discomfort. Okay, so maybe it was horrific pain. How is it my fault that he's a wimp?

'Morning Riku!' I sing-songed.

He just grumbled in response once he had regained his composure. The knocking on the door reinstated itself and Riku walked grudgingly towards it. He opened the door and a decidedly evil looking female sauntered in. To Axel, she looked like an over sized rat, but he wasn't about to say anything to upset Riku. Plus this female had a sort of malicious gleam in her eye. Ooh, scary.

"I'm glad you're here." Riku stated to demon-girl.

For the time being I played the silent game. It's always the best way to get information. From digging quickly through some of Riku's memories, I had gained a slight knowledge of afore mentioned female. Her name was Fuu, and the two of them seemed to be friends. Interesting.

"Hm." Was all that Fuu said.

"I need a plan," stated Riku.

"Sora?"

"Yes."

"I need eggs, ice. Many eggs."

Jeeze, people of few words all of a sudden. I definitely felt like an outcast, sitting on the sidelines, and only half understanding all of what was going on. Well, when in doubt! So I rustled through the disorganized chaos that was Riku's mind, and found the "Current thoughts" section. Settling myself in, I began to read, while tuning out the pair in the outside world.

After a few moments, I felt a delicious grin light up my face. They were planning a prank, on the guy that Riku seemed to hate so much. A big prank. Finally, a host that understands the need to be devious every once in a while! Oooh, this was going to be good.

"Eggs, Ice, anything else Fuu?"

"Buckets. Meet you at NOOB at one."

"Yeah."

And then Fuu was gone. I immediately added my input.

'Hey Riku, what are you two planning?'

He snorted. "I felt you snooping around in there. It always tickles when you're doing something to my mind. Don't you know already?"

'Guilty as charged,' I admitted shamelessly. 'But I still don't know what you need the eggs for.'

"Fuu said that we're going to take two large buckets, maybe four gallons or so, and fill them with raw egg insides. We're going to mix the raw eggs with large chunks of ice, so that it hurts. Then, at precisely one thirty, we're going to sneak up behind Sora, and dump both buckets on his head."

To say the very least, I was confused. The girl had said no more then ten words the entire time she'd been here. And they had managed to plan all of that? Freaky telepathy skills or something?

'Uh, when did you two talk about this, because you barely said anything to each other right now?'

I felt his body shrug in a sort of discrediting way. "Eh, Fuu gets her point across."

'Sure.'

So maybe I had misjudged my host. Perhaps he wasn't the brainless, spineless, jock that I thought he was. Either way, I was going to get my prank on!

'Why don't you dump it on him from someplace higher up? If you run up behind him, someone could see you and try and stop you, and he might get away. And what's with the ice cubes? Why not use Elmer's glue instead?'

There was a long pause, and I could feel the malevolent smile light up Riku's face.

"You know . . . that just might be the best idea you've ever had."

'. . .' (Total sweat drop moment)


Sora:

I yawned, and blinked my eyes a few times. It felt like they were coming into to focus way more then normal this time.

'Finally, I was getting really bored.'

I must have jumped up ten feet in the air, my blankets scattering around, falling to the floor. I twisted every which way, trying to find the voice that was speaking to me. My eyes fell on the mirror across the room, and I felt an anvil to the heart. Oh yeah, I was insane, and I had some weird ghost currently occupying my mind.

'I am not weird.'

"Yeah, sure. Maybe I should just ask somebody huh? See what the ruling verdict is? 'Hey mister, do you think it's weird for a ghost to jump around and mind rape people?"

'Fuck, if you're going to be such a bitch in the morning then maybe someone shouldn't keep having wet dreams about some silver haired guy and get some real sleep.'

There were tremors all over my body. I had forgotten just how much information that Roxas could see. I glared at him through the mirror, hate and rage clearly evident in my facial expression, and voice.

"I do not have wet dreams about Riku."

'Moaning 'ah Riku, oh don't stop' in your sleep means you're not having a wet dream then? Huh, times have changed.'

"Fuck you!"

'Ha-ha, or do you mean, Fuck him?'

"I've had enough of this. Where are you pansy huh? Huh?! I'll kick your stupid little lying ass!"

I just couldn't take it any more. I punched myself in the stomach hard, and felt all the air leave my body. It was a satisfying sort of pain though. My sane state had gone out the window. Now I just wanted to kick Roxas's ass.

Is it because you actually do still like Riku?

Great, I thought, as I pummeled myself over and over again, trying to find a way to beat Roxas up as well. It's bad enough that I have one voice talking to me, but now my conscious decided to butt in. And No, I didn't like Riku. That had been . . . a long time ago. Now I hated him with a passion unrivaled by a thousands suns, or something. He was vile and immoral and wicked, and I couldn't stand his smug nature. Actually, he reminded me a lot of Roxas. Lying, smug, jerk! I do not have wet dreams of Riku!

"Gahhh!" I screamed, as I hit myself rather forcefully in the head. It hurt like hell. I collapsed onto my bed, cradling my head in my hands. I felt a shifting inside me, and I didn't really know what to think of it.

'Hey. . . I'm sorry.'

Oh, that was it. That weird feeling was someone else clenching my heart. I guess that I can kind of feel Roxas's emotions too? When he was sad, I felt that sadness in my own being, and when he was feeling guilty, I felt it too. Like now.

"It's okay. . . Just don't say things like that anymore yeah? That was. . . That was a long time ago. And he, well he hurt me, and so I hate him. I can't really control my dreams anyways. I just wish he'd leave me alone, in all senses of the word."


Roxas:

I felt like a giant jerk. If I get to use excuses, I forget sometimes that people can be fragile. Plus, with the way that Sora fights back, sometimes I say things that I don't really mean. But, I guess all that counts is that I hurt someone I really didn't want to right?

'Hey . . . I'm sorry.'

And it's true, I did feel bad. Who wouldn't? This kid had on the worst pouty face in the existence of all history. I, like the sob I am, fell for it.

'If you want, I can try and stop the dreams?'

He looked at me in the mirror, one of his 1000 WAT smiles.

"You'd do that for me?"

I shifted in my ghostly nature, a little uncomfortably. I didn't like doing sentimental stuff, but Sora felt almost like a younger brother to me. Way younger. It was really weird. Normally, I liked it better when people hated my guts. Then they left me alone and I didn't ever have to speak. But for some reason, when I made Sora sad, or hurt, I just felt . . . well mean? I don't know how to say it. . .

'Yeah. . .'

"Cool! That'd be great!"

He looked so excited I just didn't know what to do. So I smiled, hesitantly. It looked more like a smirk but it's the thought that counts right? I glanced with his eyes over to the clock next to his bed.

'Hey Sora, when does your class start?'

He looked a little confused for a minute, then turned almost robotically to look at the clock. It cheerily stated 10:45AM in big red numbers.

"Shit! I'm late!"


Riku:

I had skipped my morning class, and was currently making my way back from the grocery store. It's not like my grades really matter all that much. The school just wanted me to swim. As long as I kept a D average, they didn't really give a damn. It helped a little that my dad was boning the dean. So I whistled, and wandered back up the hill to my own wondrous dorm room. I was beginning not to mind the whole Axel voice. He wasn't quite annoying anymore, and he did have a wicked sense of humor. He was even helping me with one of my pranks. And how could I not like someone that was going to help me get even with Sora? I must admit, that I was blocking out the whole, having to kiss some guy to get Axel to leave. There had to be some way around it. Everything was negotiable. I just had to bide my time and figure something out. One could be sure that I would not sully my perfectly good reputation, and waste my gorgeous good looks on a guy. I was Super Model material, and I would settle for nothing less. Now, if it was to be some hot chick, oh yeah. I'd tap that in a second, G.

We entered my room, Axel being unusually quiet.

"What, did I do something great in my past life so you actually left already?"

'. . Nah.'

He sounded a little forlorn, and as much as I didn't want to, I felt a little bad for the guy. Compassion is not in my nature, but, we were in about as close a proximity that two people can get. I did feel like he was another part of me. Plus, he was actually a cool guy.

"What's up? You sound all retarded."

Hey, I said I cared okay, I didn't say I was going to be all lovey-dovey and touchy feely about it.

'It's nothing. I just miss him.'

I didn't have to ask who he was. Axel had spent almost all morning telling me about him, as if I cared. Roxas. Yeah, I really couldn't give a damn, but, it's not like I could shut him up. It was a little cool that he had that love stuff. You know the true love kind. Withstanding time and all that. I'd grown up with my dad fucking everything on legs, and I mean everything. You can see why I kept my cat moog a secret. And who knows where my mom was. I felt a little jealous to tell you the truth; I'd never had someone to love.

Sora said that he loved you. . .

Yeah, well, Sora's a dick. And besides, I wasn't planning on ever seeing that outrageous flamer ever again, well, except to beat into the ground in swimming, and play pranks on of course.

"Hey Ax, how many eggs am I supposed to use again?"

'Fuu just said many.'

I looked at the 10 dozen eggs I had bought, and the half gallon of Elmer's glue, I grinned. The best way to cheer me up was always pranks!

"Then I guess we should use them all huh?"

I heard the wicked chuckle reverberate throughout my mind. This guy had the same nefarious streak that I had running through his blood it seems.

'This is going to be great. . .'

We began to mix the concoction, meaning that I was doing all the mixing while Axel tried to think of even more atrocious things to go along with it. He wasn't having much luck but that was fine by me. We already had a great plan. We finished about an hour and a half later, and began the journey north through town, towards North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Axel remained quiet through the whole car ride, and I can only guess that he was thinking about Roxas again. I knew I shouldn't have, because it wasn't my style, but I promised to myself that once we had carried out this prank, that I would help him find Roxas. I could always close my eyes for just a moment, and let the other guy kiss me. That wouldn't be so bad I guess. But absolutely no tongue!!

Do you hear me? None!


Roxas:

It was one of those moments when you feel rage so unrivaled; you think you're going to explode. Having no siblings, I had never quiet experienced this protective fury. But, like I said, I thought of Sora as a younger brother, and there were only three words.

Riku.

Will.

Pay.


(A little earlier)

Sora:

I squirmed in my chair, watching the clock as I counted down the last few minutes till class got out. It wasn't that I didn't like the class, because who can't like study hall? But I just had to pee like a freakin' race horse! Incidentally, I never knew that race-horses had to pee more than any other horse. Funny no?

NO! Because I had to fucking pee!

Finally the bell let out the sweet sound of relief. I stuffed my things into my book bag and ran out the door towards, and into the restroom. I stepped forward and was about to drop my pants when a thought occurred to me.

"Roxas?" I hissed quietly. I couldn't mind talk to him like he could to me, and I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy.

'Hm?' He sounded bored.

"Can you, uh, not look? I have to pee. . ."

There was a loud snort. 'Why would I want to watch you pee idiot?'

I rolled my eyes, because I knew he would be able to tell, and dropped my pants.

'Oooh, look at your package, what a nice view!'

I growled menacingly, though there was really nothing I could do, and heard maniacal laughter in my head.

'Kidding! I was fucking kidding! I'm not looking I swear. But hey why are you grabbing' it so tight huh? I thought you had to pee. If you're going to jack off do it somewhere else buddy gross!'

I clenched my teeth together, "I'm going to kill you."

He laughed, and eventually I found humor in the situation. A long eventually.

Once I had finished up my "business" I grabbed my book bag off the floor and headed out of the building to my next class. The moment I stepped out of the door I was drenched in what seemed to be liters upon liters of jizz. The only reason I knew it couldn't be so was A) the quantity and B) the nasty yellowish color. None the less, it was fucking gross!

I screamed, and Roxas was equally shook up. I could hear him almost howling in disgust inside my head.

'What the fuck??' He yelled.

Yeah, what the fuck indeed. I wiped the nasty shit off of my face and looked up. There, grinning a grin like no other, was Riku. He waved at me, as if I didn't know he had done it, and then moved away from the roof's edge. I saw a brief flash of light lavender-white hair and I knew who else was there. Fuu. Yeah, this was Riku's doing all right. I gave him the finger and shouted towards his retreating back.

"THIS MEANS WAR YOU BASTARD! WAR!"


A/N: Dun dun dahhh! So we found out a little bit of why Riku and Sora hate each other so much! Yay!

And Another uber fast update! Double Yay for me! And it's like way longer than most of the other ones. I hope you liked this chapter, it cracked me up personally, but that just may be because I'm demented. Uh, if you skipped over the A/N above, I said that this is going to be a completely KH related fiction, so no uh, LeonCloud pairings, sorry. But, if you'd really like to read a FF fanfic then you can just PM me and I'll write you a one-shot or a short chapter story! Yay.

Please review, because it's awesome. Thanks!

Next Chapter-
Dear Diary: It's Fucking ON!

Roxas and Sora plot revenge, Riku and Axel go searching for Roxas and someone picks up a hooker. Find out next time!