Charles quickly made his way across the grounds, through the gardens and out towards the lake. He sees her standing at the end of the dock, her head hung down. From behind he can tell her hands are moving hurriedly down her chest. No, she can't be! Scandalous, wanton, shocking! She is no longer a young foolish maid, yet he can't tear his eyes away as her dress drops to the aged wood of the old dock. Her fingers dive into her hair pulling pins left and right. The dark curls cascade down her back over her white corset. She unties, then wiggles her corset down her body. He can't believe what he's seeing. What if someone came by. No one will. The lake is set back near half a mile from the house, long past the gardens. She knows this, she would never be careless with her position. Knows that no one comes here, no one but them.
Elsie remembers her first time swimming here. It was hot day, and she was feeling a bit out of place being newer to Downton. She was feeling off, wanted to escape and pretend she was the lass she used to be. Stripping down to her shift, she dove into the lake letting the coolness of the water calm her troubled spirit. Almost immediately she knew he was there, watching her while relaxing against a tree. It was very bold and not at all in character for the young man she had gotten to know. She wished he would have came in and joined her, joined her in every sense of the word. She desired him desperately then. More physical than the emotional attachment she has now. She did put on quite the show for him. Slowly, seductively walking out of the lake, her shift transparent and hanging desperately low across her breasts. She tilted her head back wringing the water from her long auburn tresses. It slowly caressing down her back. Then, though she didn't know how she found the courage. She turned lifting her head and gazed right into his eyes. He coughed nervously, looked away and headed back to the house. This moment between them never spoken of. Forgiven, but never forgotten...
She doesn't have any right to feel this way. To be so angry with him. She has no hold on Charles, even if she considers him hers. It really is not his fault he doesn't return her strong affections. She thinks he did once. Many long years ago. She was the head housemaid Elsie then, he the young lordships valet. Maybe it was just a fleeting flirtation between them. She was beautiful then, he was beautiful... they were both quite good looking she thinks. Him with his broad shoulders, tall firm body, head of dark curly hair. She a bright lass, dark red curls escaping her loose up-do, large full breasts set up higher than they do know, tight bottom and stomach. Her accent was a delight to him then, she knew it. The way he reacted to her when she would let go in her native tongue. A smile she sees rarely now crossing that handsome stoic face. It does not matter that they have aged, she has become softer, lined, not quite as pretty as she once was, but still strikingly beautiful. Him full around the middle, black curls turned sleek grey, still regally handsome. Their friendship had developed quickly. He wasn't always so hard and reserved. He had quite a sense of humor, she sees flashes of it still when they are alone in the evening after he's had a couple glasses of the leftover wine from dinner. But all this lovely closeness of true friendship stopped when the family granted him the position of butler. She knew it would, it wasn't overnight but gradual slight changes that turned them into this... Two old people merely existing. Living lives that are not really their own. She has grown tired. Tired of this life, this path she has chosen for herself. But it wasn't a choice really. It was out of need that she stayed. Need to be with him, near him, if only as friends (or whatever they are, are they friends?) He really is the closest person to her and yet they have this wall up between them. Sure there are cracks, crumbles that happen so often (her cancer scare, lady Sybil's death, her proposal from Joe, the birth of the young heir..the death of the young heir). Times when they let themselves feel, a touch to the arm, a holding of hands. Those moments keep her here, fill her with something. Give her hope that he sees her as she does him. But it always ends quickly, he turns back into "the butler". Pushes her away yet again...
She snaps herself out of her sad trip down memory lane. Lowering herself to sit at the end of the dock, her small feet dangling into the cool water. Yes, this is just what she needs. She pushes herself off the edge and submerges into the dark water, baptizing her soul of the emotionally draining thoughts of him...
He can't take his eyes off her as he watches her slip into the water. He starts to panic inside..what will I say, what will I do, will she scold me for approaching her in this state, will I be able to control myself? He pushes himself to keep walking. He will not waste this chance! He is almost at the dock now, can see her gliding across the lake stroking the water. Her long hair trailing behind her. He loves her hair. Wants to bury his face in it, grab handfuls and pull gently while he's nibbling on her neck and pumping into her soft, wet... Enough! He has to keep a clear mind, figure out what to say. He's on the dock now. She still does not see him, the splashes from her swimming a distraction. He starts to pull off his jacket, waistcoat, shirt, shoes,(my God what am I doing he thinks),pants. He jumps off and into the lake clad only in his undershorts. The cool water calms his nerves, but not for long..
"Mr. Carson!" Elsie cries!
