It was the coldest, darkest part of the year, and a young couple huddled together on their couch in their apartment. They had felt rather distant from each other in recent weeks, but now they were (physically) as close as could be. Yes, they had heat, but just looking out the window at the outdoors made them want to find all the blankets they owned and cover up with them. This was a miserable month for them; at first it was nice to see the snow, but after two months of the stuff, everything had begun to look more bleak than beautiful. Neither wanted to be reminded that there was still a ways to go before it would warm up again.
To add to the crappiness of the situation—for there really was no better word for it in their minds—the light bulb above them would not stop blinking.
"We totally need to replace that," the Pol said, staring up at it as it continually flickered.
"Maybe you can get us one for my birthday next week," his Lithuanian fiancé replied. He was only half joking.
"Come on, Toris, you know I wouldn't just get you something lame like a light bulb for your birthday."
"Why not? I'd prefer to get something we need if you're going to get me anything."
"Come on, we can't even like, afford to go out and just get one?"
"Not if we're going to buy milk this week."
Silence.
That… was rather blunt. It even took Feliks back a bit. Toris was never that blunt about anything. Not to mention, he hadn't realized the situation was really that bad. He knew money was tight. However, he had left it up to Toris to handle the budget since the Lithuanian was much better with numbers, and had just gone on assuming that everything was basically okay.
Toris began slowly with what he said next.
"Feliks… I've put off asking about this for as long as I could, but I really need to know. When are you going to find a new job?"
Despite the effort to be civil, this nearly set Feliks off.
"I told you, no one is hiring right now," he insisted.
"Yes, but Feliks… you stopped looking a month ago. Maybe something has opened up since then."
"Doubt it," the Pol scoffed.
"Feliks, I need you to at least try. Please promise me you'll start searching again."
"Could you like, stop saying my name like that? You're making me feel guilty." He turned away from him and avoided eye contact. This was not the conversation he really wanted to be having right now.
"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just need your help," Toris pleaded. Tears began to spring up in his eyes, and his voice nearly cracked. Feliks could hear that, and felt even guiltier because of it. "I'm working overtime just to keep us in this apartment right now. I want us to be a couple, with our own place, but I can't do it alone. Couples are supposed to support each other, not mooch off each other."
"Alright, alright, I get it. Can we stop talking about this now?" Feliks finally said, wanting to just end the whole conversation. When he turned back to face his fiancé, he instantly regret saying it the way he did. He looked just in time to see a tear roll down the Lithuanian's cheek.
That hurt. Irritated as he was, he still loved Toris very much. Yes, he had seen him cry before, but never had it been his doing. He wanted to say something, but couldn't find the right words. He knew a simple 'sorry' wasn't going to cut it now.
"Fine. I've said all I need to say anyway. I'm going to bed now."
With that, he stood up and walked to their bedroom without another word. Feliks chose not to follow him right away, for fear of saying or doing anything else that might make their situation worse. For a while he just sat there, thinking about what he could do to make things easier on Toris.
He did eventually come to a conclusion. He didn't like it, but something had to be done. It would be best in the long run.
He grabbed his duffel bag out of their tiny closet, and tiptoed into the bedroom. Toris was already fast asleep. Making as little noise as possible, he gathered up all his belongings and threw them in the bag, leaving only one particular object behind. The very last thing he did was slide his engagement ring off his finger, and leave it on the nightstand on Toris's side of the bed. And then he left.
He stepped outside into the bitter night air, and shivered immediately. A gust of wind blew his blonde hair in all directions, and nipped at his extremities. His nose and ears froze on the spot. There were few cars on the street at this hour, though there was still plenty of snow.
On the off chance that Toris would wake up and look out the window, he decided to stand in the shadows, away from the nearest street lamp. He didn't want to be stopped from doing this. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed his parents' number. He was always welcome in his old home, and he knew they'd be there to pick him up in no time.
Toris awoke sometime in the early morning hours. The sun had yet to rise, though the sky had started turning blue-gray, and the room was light enough to see in. He felt chilly, and assumed that he forgot to turn up the heat the night before or something. Then, he discovered the absence of another body next to him. The sheets weren't even warm on Feliks's side. Why didn't he come to bed?
He sat up and looked around. The room instantly felt empty to him. All of Feliks's stuff was gone, that much he noticed right away. But he refused to believe that he left him. Sure they had had some words, but it really hadn't been that bad… had it?
Then he noticed the ring.
He noticed the ring, and his whole world came crashing down on him. He didn't cry; he was in too much shock for that. All he could do was remove his own ring, set it on the nightstand beside its match, and lay back down wondering why. Just why.
