Thank you for all those who took the time to read my story. I hope this time I might get reviews! Lets see if I get at least 5, I will post the next chapter. =]


The king of Ferelden was pacing back and forth in front of Arl Eamon.

"Your majesty, think about it. Calm down!" Eamon was getting dizzy just by watching Alistair burn a hole into his carpet.

"How could she do this! I AM ALSO A GREY WARDEN!" He bellowed as he looked at Eamon.

"Well you are a KING first now. A Grey Warden SECOND." Eamon reminded him.

"I took VOWS Eamon! She cant just… Cast me out!"

"She probably thought the way I did. Ferelden needs you HERE. You've taken VOWS to protect Ferelden, NOT the order. That's her job as Commander of the Grey."

"Just because I have Maric's blood, running in my veins, does not CHANGE that I wasn't SUPPOSE to take the THRONE! Eamon. I am a Grey Warden FIRST!"

"You gave that up when you made it clear where you stood." Stated a feminine voice.

Eamon and Alistair turned towards the door to see two cloaked figures and a very familiar golem.

"Shale? What are-" Alistair's eyes widen and his face broke into a wide smile.

The two figures brought their hoods down and Alistair grinned as he ran to his guests.

"Leliana! Wynne! I'm so glad to see you again!" He ran to them and gave them a hug.

"It, has not changed a bit. Pity. I thought royalty might make it stern." Shale remarked.

Eamon shook his head.

Wynne and Leliana patted his back but did not return the embrace. Alistair stepped back slightly confused and hurt.

"It feels like you don't know me." He said softly.

"Wounds from the past have yet to heal." Stated Wynne softly.

He glared at them.

"Still on her side huh? What about me?"

"Enough. What was done is done and we cannot change it. Maker knows how we were all affected by that day." Leliana looked at Alistair with dull eyes.

"What do you want?" Alistair turned around and crossed his arms over his chest, upset.

"We came to ask for a favor." Leliana stated as she walked forward as the main voice of the group.

"What favor?"

"A ship to Amaranthine."

Alistair whirled around and a hateful glare was seen.

"She sent you didn't she?"

"I didn't know, YOU knew." Leliana returned his glare.

"Yes, well… I have connections."

Leliana scuffed. "She isn't a child AND might I remind you, you aren't PART of the ORDER."

"That's what I just told him." Eamon sighed.

"You gave that up when you didn't get what you wanted. Besides YOU have a COUNTRY to run. It won't run on its own. And just because Anora is QUEEN, that does not EXCUSE your absence to your country. You haven't even produced in heir in the years you two have been married."

"I fear Leliana is correct son. Let them handle whatever is going on in Amaranthine."

"The people of Ferelden think she is...barren."

Leliana's eyes widen. "Dear Maker…" She looked to Eamon for confirmation and he nodded. "Have you, I don't know, thought of a mistress?"

"What!?"

"Many royals do that but they keep that a secret."

"Must I remind you that I AM a royal bastard! Why would I wish this on anyone else?"

"Because if something happens to you, then Ferelden will be in civil war. Ferelden cannot have another war, even after the Blight, your people are still recovering and rebuilding. You leaving the throne could devastate in ways you don't even imagine."

Alistair sighed.

"I am still going. So if you want a ship to Amaranthine, then tough luck. I will prepare it shortly and we can leave tonight."

With that he left the office. Leliana sighed and pinched her nose in frustration and a slight headache forming.

"The boy does have its moments. But I fear for him."

"Don't worry Eamon. I will protect him while he is with us. Ferelden is my home as well and I rather die then see it in another war."

"So he is leaving? May I come with you? I really wish to see my father." Said Anora as she walked into the office.

Leliana and Wynne bowed since they had armor and robes for them to do the proper greeting.

"Anora, its dangerous. You could get seriously hurt. Besides, if Alistair is going, Ferelden needs its Queen."

"Isn't that why YOU'RE REGENT?" Anora arched a brow.

"Yes, but-" Eamon sighed. "Do as you must." He looked at his three guests.

They nodded without needing words to express to take good care of their charge. Anora walked away excited and ran out the office, gracefully of course. Leliana, Wynne and Shale excused themselves and went to the rooms that Eamon provided for them.

Leliana closed her door and sat exhausted on the bed.

"Maker help us. When Addy finds out, she will blow a gasket."

"I'm more worried about the fruition of this mission. He will be highly upset." Wynne replied softly.

"Yes, I agree with the elder mage. Though I cannot wait to crush darkspawn heads. I grow tiresome of crushing those filthy vermin."

"You did insist on doing that throughout our journey." Wynne scolded.

"How was your trip with Shale?" Leliana asked amused.

For the next few hours Wynne and Shale replayed what they have been doing during their trip together and how news came of the dwindling population of birds. They laughed and soon talked of the trip ahead. They were all restless that night. Maker help them all indeed.


Three boats arrived at Amaranthine shores. Many passengers were just coming to trade and do business. Visit family and stay for vacation. All except a few people who headed towards Vigils keep. Home of the Grey Warden Order of Ferelden. Everyone was there, except for Isabella and her ship.

"Thank you! Nice seeing all of you!" Alistair shouted as he waved along with Anora to the people in Amaranthine.

Many cheered and shouted their happiness. Once they have arrived at Vigil's Keep, many Grey Wardens greeted them and invited the King for a drink. Of course he grinned and accepted the invitation. They all went near the bar near the merchants central quarter. it was bustling with business and Anora was looking for her father after some Wardens took her husband away. She felt vulnerable. If it wasn't for Shale and Wynne, she would have been worse.

"Your Grace, please sit down and eat. I promise we will see your father. He is probably running an errand and won't be back but for a moment." Wynne pleaded with Anora.

Anora sighed and let Wynne guide her inside the keep where many were reunited. There were tables around the walls with food and the center of the keep had many of the wardens and friends laughing and chatting until the peace was interrupted.

"So. We see each other again." Said a slurred voice.

Everyone went quiet as they all stared and made a circle around the drunk man and the man he was approaching.

Loghain turned around as he was greeting Nathaniel Howe as he entered the keep intending to go and greet his daughter.

"Alistair please." Whispered Anora as she reached her husband.

Alistair shrugged off her hand from his shoulder and proceeded to face Loghain.

"Draw your sword! We were interrupted before, but NOT today! You will pay!" He yelled at Loghain as he grabbed his sword and held it steady. Even for a drunk he could handle his weapon. Oghren was proud!

"Go get'm son!" Oghren cheered.

"NO Please!"

"Anora hush…"

"Stop treating me like a CHILD!"

"Daughters stay six in their pigtails and scabby knees."

"Father…" Anora choked as Loghain took his blade out as well.

They circled around each other. Next battle cries came and swords were clashed. Many placed bets and cheered as it was a game, but to them and those who knew the story froze. Unable to do much but watch.

"WARDENS! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" A commanding voice boomed.

Everything stopped and every Warden stood at attention making way for her to inspect. Loghain brought down his sword and stood at attention along with Alistair. Both looking guilty.

"For Maker sake! WE HAVE A JOB TO DO! WE-" Addy stopped as her heart froze.

Alistair.

"What are YOU doing here?!" She snapped at the King of Ferelden.

"I can explain." Leliana ran to her.

Addy glared.

"Loghain, tend to your daughter. She came to see you." Addy exasperated.

"You. Come with me if would you please." She gestured to her office that was to the far right of the keep.

She motioned for Fenris, and Leliana to accompany her to her office. Once inside the decorated space they all sat down in the sofa and Fenris closed the door keeping guard at the door.

"Care to explain why HE is HERE?" She crossed her arms and leaned on her desk.

To say that she was angry would be a huge understatement.

"He knew about this Addy. I couldn't stop him and I needed a ship."

Addy sighed. She opened her hand for what she wanted. Leliana nodded and took out an envelope. Addy ripped the envelope open and started to read its contents.

"Is this all Leli?" She looked at her with a raised brow and a fire in her eyes.

"You know it is. I don't have to tell you more." She bowed.

"Thank you Leli. We will talk later. Thank you my friend." Addy smiled softly at her.

"You know I will always be here for you right?" Leliana winked and embraced Addy. She walked out the office.

"What's was in the envelope." Asked Alistair.

"And there is the problem." She replied crisply as she rounded her desk and sat down in her chair.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be running Ferelden?"

"I am part of the order Addy-"

"Lady Cousland to you."

"-Lady Cousland. I have always been part of the order. Or what did you forget WHO trained you?"

Addy scuffed. "You are no longer IN the order Alistair. You made that VERY clear when YOU abandoned US during the blight." Addy fought the urge constantly to shout at him. It was getting harder by the second.

"Because you BETRAYED me Adeline." Alistair got up and slammed his hands on her desk.

Addy got up from her chair slowly and put her hands on her table as she leaned towards him with a fierce glare that could burn right through him.

"If you want to talk about BETRAYAL, look in the mirror. Now get out of my office and return to Denerim." She whispered darkly.

"Eamon gave me leave to stay. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered back. Then he back off slightly. "The Architect has been coming up on my desk for some time. I would like to know, as well as the order, im sure, what he has discovered regarding Grey Warden life expectancy."

"Fine. Get in line and don't expect VIP treatment just because your King." Addy sighed as she sat back down and rubbed her face with her gloved hands.

"Wouldn't dream of it Commander." Alistair saluted and walked out the office.

Fenris watched as every muscle in her body relaxed. Amazed by how very tightly controlled she kept herself despite the tension in the room.

"May I be of service?" He asked her out of concern.

She chuckled. "Fenris. You cant say things like that. You are not here to take care of me. I asked for your help, not to be my servant. But, no. Just make yourself at home with the rest of the order. But thank you for your concern. I will be out shortly." Addy shook her head and smiled at Fenris.

Once he was gone a tear fell from her eye. She wiped it away softly looking at her finger that still had the tear stain.

"After so many years. I haven't cried for you." She whispered to know one, except for the raven that was perched at the top of the ceiling on a wooden log connecting the ceiling so it wouldn't collapse.


"You want to save her don't you?" She asked Alistair.

"Yes. Even after all of this, you know I do, but I can't."

"What if I told you there was a loophole to your order? A way out?" She sounded as if she was purring.

Alistair looked at her, anger clear in his honey gaze.

"What are you talking about?! There are no LOOPHOLES in the order! We die with the Archdemon or we die when our Calling comes." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"I came to tell you about this and yet you yell without opening your mind. I thought you would be better at making decisions Alistair. T'is quite simple in fact. Do you wantto save her, ornot?"

Alistair stared at the floor and sighed. He looked at her as he steeled his heart.

'With magic, we pay a price. With magic, nothing is free.' How those words were true.

"Fine. Tell me the loophole."

'Could it have really worked?' Alistair thought as he turned to Addy. She was at the head of the order. Fierce and loyal and ready to take on any threat to take care of those around her. He looked away, still in deep thought.

"Why me and not Loghain?" He growled. "Or Riordan?"

"Even if I thought Riordan was capable, the taint has been in him for quite some time. Loghain has JUST started! Who knows if by now he has woken up! No I NEED you Alistair. It won't be so bad."

"What exactly am I suppose to do?" He arched a golden eyebrow.

"I won't lie to you." She sat on the bed. "From this ritual a child will be born."

Alistair's eyes widen. "Adrastes flaming sword! You're not joking are you?"

"Have I EVER gave you any reason to THINK I joked around?" She raised a perfectly raven eyebrow.

"No, but-" He stumbled to find words.

"You are wasting time Alistair."

"Fine. Lets get this over with." He grumbled.

"You have to be very convincing Alistair." She appeared behind him stroking his neck.

"What do you mean?" He shuddered at her touch.

"If you want I could-"

"No! no. Just...She was my first…"

"And I will be your last. Well, not technically since you and Anora have to make an heir."

Alistair groaned. "Don't remind me."

"T'is won't be bad. I AM a woman Alistair and I have seen how your eyes have glanced in my direction." She purred.

'Maker help me.' He shut his eyes. 'For you Addy. Even after all of this, I will ALWAYS love you.' He swallowed and opened his eyes.

He steeled his heart and approached the bed and tackled her to the bed and kissed her passionately.

Alistair shut his eyes tight trying to banish the thoughts from his mind.

'Never again.' He thought. 'Never again.'


Addy lead the order deep into the deep roads after talking to Nathaniel and making a plan. Apparently Hawke has made it deep to a thaig where no one has gone and now they actually have a new recruit that Fenris was surprised to see. Addy asked them both a few questions about the thaig and how they came to be in its presence. She studies Fenris in the way he was tense whenever Hawke or now Champion of Kirkwall was mentioned. It made her feel uncomfortable for the fact that she didn't know why he was tensing at the mere mention of her last name. Her entire name in fact was beautiful.

Cassandra Leandra Hawke.

Interesting name but she has heard of Leandra. That name kept becoming familiar. Addy had to ask.

"And that's how we came across it." Bethany finished as she stared at Addy.

"I'm sorry… Bethany right?" At this she nodded. "I know what you said is important and I appreciate your help but I have to ask. Was your mother's name Leandra Amell before she became Leandra Hawke?"

Bethany's eyes widen. "Y – Yes. She was."

"Ah, thank you dear. I was quite small but I'm pretty sure her name has come up in my mother's gossip. Friendly of course, never anything bad, mind you." Addy smiled as she saw Bethany ready to lash out at her.

"I will re-read the reports. Thank you. You may go back to your post."

Bethany smiled and saluted. She turned to Fenris. "Nice seeing you again." She whispered to him as she left her tent.

They have been in the deep roads for about a week. Anora and Alistair decided to stay. Alistair for the reason he mentioned before but she felt that it was more than that. Anora felt that she owed it to Addy and the order to involve herself more in what dangers they go up against. Her father of course denied it completely and Alistair and Addy did as well, but she made a compelling case that all the Warden's under her command agreed to protect her. Although Addy reminded the order that they were to remain neutral, Anora argued that they were in Ferelden and it was her duty to provide the order with whatever they needed. Though Addy felt it was because her father was in the order and couldn't leave him be without any kind of political pull, should anything happen.

"Fenris, did you need something?" She didn't even glance as she dismissed him along with Bethany.

"I… I wanted to talk to you about my past. No doubt you have questions."

"I do, but I don't pry in people's lives. Besides, you only let me see what you want me to see."

Fenris turned to the side, his hair hiding his face.

"Cassie meant the world to me. But she betrayed me. Her only excuse was that she was tired of waiting for me and that the person I was running away from would find me. If I wanted to be with her to accept our… relationship for what it was." He snarled at the end.

"Denarius." Addy said softly as she didn't even glance at him.

No later than a second was Addy being held by the collar of her tunic from her heavy armor as Fenris glared at her fiercely. She of course wasn't afraid.

"Who told you this!" He demanded as he was nose to nose with her.

"As I said. You only let me see what you want me to see." She grabbed his hands that were holding her from her tunic and slowly coaxed his hands to release her.

"Why couldn't you accept it? What was stopping you? It sounds as if you DO love her." Addy guided Fenris to sit next to her on a log that was conveniently placed inside her tent.

Fenris looked at his hands. He stared at the markings on the palm of his hand and traced them with his eyes to his fingers.

"These markings. They were forced on me by the very man himself. Long story short, he has been trying to get his… investment… back." He looked at Addy fiercely. "Only dead will he be able to receive them." His eyes then turned to sadness as he stared at her crystal orbs.

"He found you, and she betrayed you. Isabella saved you and now you travel with her." She finished for him. He nodded.

"So why did you want to return to Kirkwall? Wait is Denarius dead?"

"I wanted to return to see if she might need help. Even after all of that… I love her… more than I can express. And no. He isn't dead." He growled at the end. Hate filled his gaze immediately.

"What do you wish to do?" She got up and grabbed her vellum with the report she had written concerning the thaig they were trying to reach.

"What I wish? No one has asked me that before…" He said softly as he looked deep in thought. His eyes still lingered where Addy had just been sitting.

"Yes. Cassandra has asked you that very question but you didn't take it serious until I opened your eyes." Addy stated so simple. Yet so harsh.

"I will think on this." He said as he got up. "Thank you, Lady Cousland." Fenris left her tent as he sought his own.

Addy didn't glance up from his departure or said anything. The flap of her tent fluttered announcing another person coming to her for something.

Addy sighed. "Yes Alistair? May I be of service?"

"How did you know it was me?"

Addy rolled up her vellum and looked at him bored.

"What can I do for you?" She decided to ignore his stupid question.

"I… I want to talk about… What happened… All those years ago…" He said softly. His golden orbs pleading.

Addy got up and walked out of her tent. Alistair hot on her heels.

"I'm a very busy woman Alistair. I don't have time to reminisce of the past. Unless its about the deep roads or this thaig. I care less of everything else." She opened her journal as she counted the people, and went to check their food supplies.

Alistair grabbed her arm and turned her around without releasing her. Her eyes defiant as he remembered them so.

"I want to understand and put this behind us."

She wrenched her arm away. "Never touch me again and second, if you want to sleep with your conscience clean, then look for the chantry. I have nothing more to say to you." Addy walked away with a heavy heart but she couldn't forgive me. It will NEVER happen. She grabbed her journal tightly and tried to focus on her duty as a Warden.

"You should leave her be."

Alistair turned around and frowned.

"You are the elf that came with her. Fenris right?"

Fenris nodded.

"Fenris. It is none of your concern. Please leave your nose out of this. Your worst than Zevran."

"Yes, but you, my friend, hurt her. For if it was I in your place, I wouldn't have."

Alistair rolled his eyes. 'Speak of the devil.'

"Zevran. When are you going to stop sneaking behind me?"

Zevran was behind him and Alistair didn't turn.

"As long as she breathes Alistair. I will always be in the shadows watching you." Zevran whispered harshly in his ear.

Alistair cocked his head to get away from his whisper and walked away and into his tent.

"Watch what you both do. We don't want a war in our midst." Leliana also emerged from the shadows. "Although romantic, we cannot afford to be divided among ourselves."

"My dear Leliana. I wouldn't dream of it." Zevran grinned at the bard.

Leliana smiled in return and walked back to help count for Addy in inventory.

"Keep her close. That bastard doesn't deserve another chance." He whispered softly to Fenris.

"I'm not doing it for you. She has been a great help. She has my respect as well. I shall not disappoint her."

Zevran nodded and walked to talk to others. Fenris stood looking at Addy as she tried her hardest to concentrate, though her tense muscles wouldn't allow it.


"My lady, what are we going to do? They are near."

The woman narrowed her eyes at the intruder.

"We drove the other group a while back. Though this time it will be difficult. They know where we lurk." Her eyebrows creased together, deep in thought.

"Make a spell of sorts where those who do not carry the taint, will be lost in the fog and go back around."

"And those who do?"

"I will think of something to… Halt their journey. For now, do as I ask."

"As you command, my lady." He bowed and walked away. His feet didn't even touch the ground. He looked as though he was floating in the air.

The woman smirked as she looked at the door in front of her.