A/N - Alright so due to the fact I have watched Avengers like 10 times today I had to write this. It is not technically a milestone like first steps or first bike ride or something like that But I think it is a very important large event to hit so I am going to call it a milestone.
Oh and Erin is 4 in the beginning and five at the end 5 in this.
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our guy's second chapter were Erin is four. I am not sure if I will have a rhyme or reason to ages so just bear with me. I will put her age on every chapter though as so to avoid confusion.
Leaning on Others
Sitting in a pew that became more uncomfortable as time drug on the four year old adjusted herself yet again. She stared up at the front of the room past the black fallings of what she felt was an extremely ugly hat. At the front at the two large pictures sitting under the arms of a large crucifix thats shadow loomed over them all. The four year old did not know either person who where now in the pictures but she knew someone who did. So here she was sitting next to her Daddy and her Mommy in what she was sure was the most itchy black dress any store ever sold. She also disliked the ever tightening grip her Mommy had on her wrist. As if the woman was scared Erin would disappear. Distracting herself from her hand which kind of hurt at the moment she looked over to her Daddy.
Clint sat his eyes focused on a singular point much like when he zoned in on a target. The rest of the world seemed to just blur arround him. Erin had seen this look once or twice when she had gone to the Helicarrier with her Daddy on 'office' days. Or when Clint had a case that shook him enough not to want Erin out of his sight for any length of time. Those where usually the cases that involved children though. Even Erin was smart enough to notice that. But when she would spend the day at Headquarters she would always spend time with him at the Gym so she knew the look well. He blinked almost noticing Erin's gaze and smiled down at her gripping her knee in his hand. Erin smiled back softly and then looked back toward the front. She kept watching him though her peripherals though. She watched as he fussed over his tie then his cuffs and then smoothed out his pants. She wanted to ask what was wrong but she did not want to disturb anyone else so she didn't.
It felt like ever before everyone stood up and began to filter out of the room. For that Erin was extremely grateful. She felt her mother's grip on her arm tighten and pull slightly alerting the girl it was time to go. Erin reached back to grab her Daddy's hand as well as the two walked to the car. Erin stopped a bit short letting go of her parents hands when they got to the sidewalk. She twisted ever so slightly so she could see the three people in black before her.
None of them acknowledged her but she did not tear her eyes away from them. She watched as the two adults were huddled together a child pinned between them. She took a step forward before feeling a hand on her shoulder. She turned back and saw her Daddy kneeling down to look at her, she looked back at the three people then over to her Daddy. She then nodded and looked back as the family stepped into through a gate into a large graveyard, and if she looked really hard she could even make out the two caskets that held the people in the pictures.
She felt her Daddy's hands slip around her and lift her off the ground as he walked them to their own car a bit farther down where Natasha was waiting. Erin kept staring at the disappearing family before them however. She was placed in the back of the car and into her booster seat. Before her Daddy kissed her head, something he usually didn't do, and shutting the door.
He walked around the the front of the car and made to open the door. But Natasha who was leaning on the hood stopped him and pulled him into a hug. Something that had become more normal now and Erin always watched waiting for the two to exchange a kiss. Because nothing would make the small four year old happier for the person who she called Mommy and the person who she called Daddy to actually be her Mommy and Daddy. She knew her Daddy was her real Daddy, even if he adopted her but she wanted Tasha to be her real Mommy. So they could be like every other family with a Mommy and a Daddy. The two however pulled away and got into the car no kiss exchanged to Erin's disappointment.
The car pulled out of its spot and began to follow start on its way home. Neither her Mommy or Daddy started the music so the car was plunged into silence. It was a few minutes before Erin decided she couldn't take the silence anymore. Especially not when she had so many questions about where she had been, and what a funeral was.
"Daddy," She said, Clint's hands tightened at the wheel as he nodded knowing Erin would take that as a sign to conintue.
"Were they bad people? Is that why they had to go away, forever." Erin asked the statement with the infliction of a question so Clint just sighed and shook his head.
"No Angel, they weren't bad people." Clint explained not going any farther. He felt Natasha's hand slip past her seat and over in the space between them.
"Then why did they have to go away forever. Did bad people make them go away forever like they did my real mommy and daddy?" Erin asked as a light turned yellow making Clint skid to an unneeded stop seeing as he would have no doubt been clear of the intersection when the light turned red.
As the car jerked Clint tightened his left hand on the wheel and moved his left in front of Natasha who had thrown a hand back in front of Erin. Erin bobbed slightly in her seat but was still unphased.
Clint looked back in the rear view mirror at Erin who looked straight back at him with a questioning gaze. She was waiting for him to answer. He swallowed the ever growing lump in his throat but when he went to form words nothing came out.
"No Erin, there were no bad guys this time. The plane they were on crashed and..." Natasha explained.
"Oh people get hurt when things crash. Did the plane hit another plane?" She asked her legs now bouncing on the seat.
"No Erin it hit the ground." Clint said finding his voice again.
"Oh," Erin said taking that as an answer for now. The car was once again plunged into a deafening silence. Clint was staring straight ahead and Erin was staring out of the window.
"What are you thinking about Erin?" Natasha asked.
"I was thinking that the driver was new. Even I know planes go in the air and not in the ground. And I am four." Erin said as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
"A person who drives a plane is a pilot Erin. and He wasn't new. The plane stopped working, he tried to keep it in the air but it crashed anyways." Clint explained and Erin looked up at her Daddy. She heard the tense sound in his voice, her most important question on the tip of her tongue.
"Will, Will they..." She began before picking at her dress in between her fingertips.
"Will they," She began again but still did not finish the sentence.
"Will they what Erin?" Natasha asked.
"Will they be okay?" Erin finally got out
"I..." Natasha began
"Yeah Erin, they will be fine." Clint assured ignoring the pointed look Natasha sent him. Erin nodded and gave a half hearted smile.
The day passed quickly and soon it was almost nine fifteen forty five minutes after Erin's bed time but the small red head could not find sleep. So she did what she always did when she couldn't sleep. She opened her window and curled up on the firemens ledge right outside of it. As if it were her own little balcony. She leaned her head over the edge and sighed hoping that soon she would be able to fall asleep. She did have daycare tomorrow and didn't want to be too tired to play. She sighed and looked down catching glimpse of an all too familiar tuft of brown hair. Smiling she made her way down the stairs two floors until she got to where Peter was.
When she got there however she noticed her friend crying. Taking a cautionary step forward she moved to the edge and into Peter's peripheral. Peter looked over before staring back out into the unwindowed building that was blocking their view of anything else.
"I miss them," he said simply and Erin just nodded. Peter turned to look at her completely. "I miss them a lot." He said and Erin wrapped her arms around her friend. "I miss them so much it kind of hurts." He whispered. Erin just held tighter not saying anything because she didn't know what to say. She had never lost a Parent so she didn't know how to console her friend who had just lost two.
Erin spent the night WITH Peter, not wanting to leave Peter alone and becoming quite tired by the time nine thirty rolled around. The two where curled in a hug under his red blanket when Ben went to check on Peter the next morning. He nodded to May who was on the phone with a worried Clint and shut the door again. He told May to have the Barton's come down and they would make breakfast. Till such a time as the children woke up alone he wouldn't force them. He knew Peter needed the comfort. And in truth Erin seemed to need his nephew as much as Peter needed Erin.
The pew was similar and the dress was no more comfortable, even if it now fell just above her knees rather than slightly below, but Erin felt like a far different person than she had been at the beginning of last year. She felt older, now being a whole five years old, and well a lot more sad. This sadness gripping. It felt like it was a large hand holding her chest and tightening its grip. She tried really really hard not to cry because she knew that her Mom and Dad did not want to cry and she knew that if she did they might. So she didn't. She swallowed the large lump in her troat and turned to look at the rest of the pew. Her Dad was at the end of the row his hands resting on her lap, as she was sitting in his, as he stared at some far away point much like he did before. But this time the point was higher. It was almost as if he was staring at where the wall met the ceiling. Next to her her Mother was still gripping her tightly as if she was still terrified of losing Erin.
Next to her was Captain America Steve Rogers sir who was staring directly at the picture as if not wanting to disrespect the honor of the man who had died. Beside him Pepper Potts was trying to stop Tony Stark, who held a half empty flask, from doing just that. Bruce Banner was on the other side of Tony looking anywhere but the front of the room he at the moment was messing with his suit trying to ignore the slight green tinting his brown eyes He was at the end of the Pew.
She looked at the front of the room at the picture of a man she knew so well. She looked at all of the agents who didn't speak.
Her Uncle Phil lived and breathed S.H.I.E.L.D so there were maybe seven people who were not S.H.I.E.L.D personal at the funeral and all of them knew who he truly was.
Soon they all moved outside and the casket was lowered. Erin took the small picture out of her little purse she begged to bring for this reason. After the casket was lowered and the grave was covered everyone slowly began to trickle out. The Avengers minus one had all congregated a little ways away from the grave leaning on each other in a way Erin was sure real Ohana's did. She took a step away and slipped from their watchful gazes. She went to sit next to his grave a place most people had now moved away from.
"Uncle Phil, I figured it out. I really did. Peter even helped. I wrote everything down on here, though a lot of it is probably spelt wrong." she said placing the now faded picture she had drew of the Avengers on the grave tucking it under a bit of dirt to keep it there.
"I gonna tell you anyways though. First the ones you know. Mommy is Mulan, but you knowed that. And Daddy is robin hood. Director Fury sir is Mr. Bubbles, Mr. Bruce is Stitch or at least he is when he's hulk, and Mr. Tony is Iron Giant, and Mr. Captain America Steve Rogers sir is Tarzan because he no understanding our time yet like Tarzan no understand Jane. Peter said he think that he should be Aurora , the princess. I thought you would laugh at that. Anyways Mr. Thor is Hercules, have you seen that one, Mr. Ben showed it to me last week cause we just got home and they stole me for a night to give Mommy and Daddy time alone. Peter told that I was no allowed to go on year vacations anymore. Mrs. May and Mr. Ben gave me this look though, I think they know about everything. It makes me sad because I forgot about them and they probably worried about me. Anyways, Auntie Ria is Bagheera, even tho I know that be a boy. I not figure out a lot of the others, except for Ms. Darcy, she Rapunzel. Definitely rapunzel. And yous, yous Cogsworth. Always cogsworth. I, I love you Uncle Phil, and yous a part of my Ohana you know so I won't forget you. Never ever. Peter told me something that someone told him. He said that if I never ever forget you then it will be like you never left. I is gonna try really really hard not to forget you. I promise. Even when it hurts I'll forget you cause you're my Uncle Phil and I love you. I gots to go now before Daddy starts lookin' for me. You followed orders you know Uncle Phil. I don't know if Director Fury sir told you that. But you followed orders really really good." Erin said freely crying by this point and leaning over to hug it tightly. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine it was her Uncle Phil and not cold granite.
"I didn't tell him enough you know." A voice said from behind her and Erin jerked up looking at the tall and overbearing form of Mr. Director Fury sir.
"I have a bad habit of never telling people the things that matter enough." He said with a wayward glance to the outskirts of the grave yard.
"You should fix that Mr. Director Fury sir." Erin said wiping her tears with her wrist.
"Phil said that as well." The man said his eyes still on a far away point.
"Do you miss him terribly." Erin asked her eyes now trained on the head stone.
"Sometimes, but other times he feels like he hasn't left at all." He said with a forlorn tone.
"You should be getting over to your father. He will be wondering where you are. Good day," He said and Erin moved to do that and then looked back, she thought to say something else but her Dad found her and took her away. She curled up on the sofa in her father's lap in a large sweatshirt she had stole from Coulson's rooms before leaving the Helicarrier and owl watching Beauty in the Beast. Her Dad was seated on the couch as well on the other side of Erin with Natasha wrapped up in his arms.
"Who is in this movie Erin," He asked with a sad smile. Erin turned back to look at him.
"No one Daddy," She answered not wanting to talk about Uncle Phil in that moment.
"You sure, because Beast sure reminds me of Hulk." Her mom said and Erin knew the two were trying to make her happy. They were trying very hard, Her mom didn't know that Uncle Phil thought the same. She couldn't have. Erin never told her and she doubted Uncle Phil talked to her mom about it. but Erin felt well she didn't know. She tried to place the best smile she could on her face.
"Uncle Phil thought so too." She said and looked away from them quickly hugging her knees closer to her chest.
"Oh Erin, I didn't know." Natasha said pushing herself up and wrapping the five year old in her arms.
"I know, I tired Mommy, Can I go to bed early?" Erin asked tears now rolling down her cheeks.
"You can if you want to dorogaya, 'sweetheart'" Natasha said pulling the girl even tighter.
"I'll see you tomorrow Mommy." Erin said hugging her tightly and hopping off the couch as the Beast and Belle began to sing 'Something There'.
"I will be just a second Erin." Clint said and Erin stopped at her door.
"I too tired tonight Daddy, I don't need my bedtime story or song. I'll see you tomorrow." Erin said walking into her room.
"God I am an idiot."
"Hey, it will be fine, we will be fine. She just needs some time. Probably won't even fall asleep. Give her an hour or so she will come clamber back into our bed not wanting to be alone." Clint assured.
Erin walked away from her door and climbed out of her window. She walked down to Peter's landing and knocked on his window. Peter had been finishing up a lego fort in his room so he looked up when there was a tap on his window. He went to tell Aunt May and Uncle Ben that he would be going to bed early before going back and slipping on a jacket before stepping out of his window. He looked at Erin's tear stained cheeks and took the girl's hand in his own leading her back up to her room and slipping in behind her.
The two then perched on Erin's bed Erin wrapped in Peter's arms as they always did when one needed comfort.
"I miss him," Erin said simply staring at her roof before turning to face peter.
"I miss him really bad." Peter tightened his arms around his friend and nodded against her head.
"I miss him so much it hurts and I don't know what to do." He whispered. "I want him to come back." Erin said before beginning to bawl. Peter, not knowing what else to do just held a bit tighter.
"I'm sorry Erin," He whispered. "I'm so so sorry."
Alright there you go. And before you all say it I KNOW COULSON LIVES! I know alright, don't attack the review box with, he lives reviews because I understand he lives. I get it. I am manipulating the situation for my own purposes. Everything will make since sooner or later.
Anyways, I am working on First day of Kindergarten it should be up before long. The other one I have a basic idea for is first kiss. I am just wondering if anyone has any ideas on who should get, or steal, Erin's first kiss.
So who do you think gets little Erin's first Kiss? PM or leave answers in review box. :) - (smiley face that i think will be turned into a J {does anyone know why that happens})
