Lestrade spent the majority of the day in bed. In his defence, it was a very nice, very big, very comfortable bed and he was very tired from trying to stop a man from killing himself and then from spending the night wrapped around the man's ridiculously thin brother trying to a) not get an erection and b) not think about how warm his ass was.

So yes, as soon as he wasn't trying to keep enough composure to avoid Mycroft throwing him out on the street and declaring him a 'dirty tramp', Lestrade fell into the bathroom and decided to enjoy a bath. The maid – an elderly woman with dark skin and a knack of being neither seen nor heard – came in to collect his clothes after he'd slipped in.

He relaxed there for a very long time, his fingers were pruney and he nearly fell asleep before he decided to drag himself out. Mycroft obviously enjoyed luxury, and his towels were no exception. Lestrade spent a long time just caressing himself with the towel before he noticed a fresh orange toothbrush sitting in its box on the basin.

So Lestrade did something he couldn't do at home (due to prying neighbours and bad design choice) and he brushed his teeth naked. It was glorious and his teeth were incredibly clean. After that he grabbed a dressing gown and fell onto the bed, instantly asleep.

He was woken approximately three hours later by Mycroft flopping down on the bed next to him (somehow with dignity). Lestrade immediately almost flew off the bed upright and began stuttering and tightening the belt on his dressing gown.

He shuffled his feet and mumbled something about statements but Mycroft was in front of him in an instant, silencing him with a heartfelt, "No, no, no."

"Why not?" Lestrade asked, surprised.

"Well you see," Mycroft whispered, stepping far too close and fingering the belt of the dressing gown, "this is my dressing gown you're wearing, and I find that fact very distracting." Lestrade swallowed awkwardly but couldn't help noticing the husky quality in Mycroft's voice.

The man in front of him ran his fingertips from behind Lestrade's ear, down his neck and down further to rest on the knot of the belt. Then he closed two fingers around Lestrade's wrist and pushed it against his crotch, shivering only the slightest bit when contact was made.

A breathy "oh" came from Lestrade, and the warm air hit Mycroft's neck like fire.

"See what I mean," Mycroft whispered in his ear and Lestrade smiled widely before pulling him close.

"Oh yes," he whispered into the inky hair.