:D Chapter Three! I'll try to keep up a pretty consistent update rate for all my lovely fans x3

(A/N: I hate how easy it is for me to write the self-hatred monologues in here..)

I couldn't wander around for too long; the urge beneath my skin was too strong. Desperately, I saw a janitor's closet and practically dove inside. Immediately, swaying on my feet, I slammed the door shut. I gripped my razor and dragged it across my skin. The pain was intense and I could feel the skin breaking as the blood began to flow. But the feeling as too temporary. I need it more, I needed it longer. Shifting my fingertips, I held the razor more delicately. Slowly, I made three small slices in my wrist, in the shape of an S, and then three more in and A. The blood pixelated and I could see the letters forming, crisp and wrist stung, but the pain was soothing. I continued, carving one letter at a time, until my wrist spilled ruby red. Savage, my wrist now spelled. It was beautiful. Now I could have a permanent reminder of what I was, etched into my skin. A savage. I could feel my heartbeat pound in my ears. I felt a couple hot tears slip down my face as the pain intensified.

Suddenly, I heard a sharp knock on the door. "J- Merridew?" I heard Ralph's voice muffled through the wood. Stupidly, I answered back, my voice hot and frozen at the same time. The blonde then asked if I was okay.

"Of course. Now go away," I snapped, a growl releasing itself from my throat. The pain in my wrist had sprung anger into my veins.

"No, Merridew. Not until you get out here," Ralph's voice was demanding, stern. Once again, acting without thinking, I spun around and almost ripped the door open. Curling my bloodstained hand into a tight fist, I swung and hit Ralph square in the jaw. He recoiled, clutching his mouth and biting back a cry of unexpected pain. I expected him to back down, to run away. But he didn't. Instead, his fingers twisted into a fist as well, and hit me in the stomach.

"Mother fu-" I stopped short of finishing the profanity, as the wind had promptly been knocked out of me. Clutching my stomach for several second. Shit, could Ralph pack a punch! I flung my fist at him after I regained my breathing, and it hit him in the nose. Blood began to gush out, but he wiped it off with the back of his hand and continued to try and hit me. His hands flew up and gripped me around my throat. Mother fucker! Soon, we were nothing more than a blur of hands and feet and the occasional cry of pain or staggering blow. However, once his foot swung up from the floor, I knew it was over. His foot hit me directly in-between my legs.Fuck! I toppled over from the blow and the pain. There was a shudder of pain that erupted from my lower stomach and exploded when it hit my crotch. As I toppled over, I reached out a hand to try and avoid totally crashing down. Unfortunately for my stupid self, I landed on my wrist. he wounds began to reopen and I could feel the hot blood darkening my already black shirt. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Merridew? Are you okay…?" Ralph's tone was a finely mixed tune of anger, hatred, fear, and genuine concern.

"Get away from me," I growled. Ralph looked taken aback. "Just get the fuck away from me!" I shouted when he didn't back down, "You don't need a fucking savage like me! Get the fuck away!" Ralph, giving me one final, swift kick in the chest, turned on his heel and stalked away.

What. The. Fuck. Merridew? What the fuck? Why the fuck can't you change! What the fuck? He cared about you! Why the fuck can't you just fucking accept that? You're Jack fucking Merridew! You're not supposed to be so fucking weak! Why the fuck won't you change? You're such a fucking savage! That's all you're ever going to be! Stupid, worthless, fucking savage. My mind was racing and running and the pain was only intensifying.

After several minutes of writhing in pain, and cursing myself for being such a fuck up, I had mustered up the strength to limp down the hallway. Eventually, I wound up back at my room. There was a note taped on the door, from Ralph.

"I'm sorry, Merridew. I know you're trying to change. I shouldn't have provoked you. I'm sorry. Meet me in the library in an hour.

See you then, hopefully,

Ralph"