7/31/16 Updated timeline from 2 to 4 years since Olivia and Alex kissed on the sidewalk. Pre Noah, pre William Lewis.

Hi all, I hope I have your patience on this one. Just have a lot going on and why I started a story I have no idea! Bekka0405 and the rest who have checked in, thanks for the push... here's chapter 3! -M

Ch. 3

Alex slid further against the back of the tub, letting the sudsy water cover her to where only her bended knees appeared from out of the water.

She took a sip of bourbon and closed her eyes.

It took Olivia three days.

She was ready to talk.

Alex cautiously invited Olivia over to her apartment and Olivia agreed, both knowing their conversation would be best done privately.

Olivia needed to make sure Noah was tucked in, then she would come by.

When Alex left her office, she went straight home poured herself a bourbon on the rocks and filled her tub, hoping that would calm her nerves.

What was a dull ache Alex had learned to live with had been magnified the last three days.

She didn't lie. She didn't regret telling Olivia she was in love with her.

It was time.

For over the past four years Alex thought about the feel of Olivia soft perfect lips among other things… And she thought about the confused look on Olivia's face as she walked away from her.

It was Alex's fault.

She didn't answer Olivia's calls or emails or even the door, after the night they kissed.

Alex wasn't ready to tell the world she was in love with Olivia, but God why didn't she just tell Olivia?

She looked down at the chill bumps on her skin, and she stepped out of the tub. Olivia would be there in less than an hour.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

Olivia had changed into a casual pair of jeans and a light gray v-neck sweater, she pulled on her heavy jacket, grabbing her purse.

"Lucy thanks for staying, I shouldn't be too late."

"No worries, we're fine. I'm sure I won't hear a peep from Noah and I'm finally getting to start this book I've been wanting to read."

Olivia smiled, "You know I appreciate you so much."

"I know," Lucy said returning the smiled.

Despite the cold winter air, Olivia decided to walk to Alex's apartment.

She wanted to clear her head, she wanted to at least have something on the tip of her tongue buy the time she got to Alex's apartment.

To say she was nervous about seeing Alex, and going to Alex's apartment would be an understatement.

Olivia thought about how she had changed the last four years. Her life, her job, her appearance. She wondered how Alex's life had changed.

Before Olivia knew it, she was standing in front of Alex's door.

"Hi," Alex said almost shyly, her body still hidden mostly hidden behind the front door.

"Hey."

"Come in," Alex said moving aside. "Let me get your coat."

Alex helped slide Olivia's coat from her shoulders.

When Olivia turned to look at her, Alex noticed Olivia's cheeks were rosy from the cold air.

"Olivia, you're freezing, did you walk here?"

"I needed the walk," was all Olivia explained.

Alex understood. She chose a bourbon and a bath.

"You look great," Alex said as she had already given Olivia the once over.

"So do you," Olivia said as her eyes grazed Alex's leggings and oversized sweater.

An oversized sweater that was slightly off of her right shoulder.

"Can I get you anything, something to drink? Maybe a glass of wine?" Alex offered.

"Wine gets us in trouble."

Alex smirked agreeing.

"I have bourbon… or tea."

"Bourbon."

Instead of waiting, Olivia followed Alex to the kitchen.

"Still, like it on the rocks?"

Alex had picked up drinking bourbon straight and on the rocks from Olivia.

Olivia shook her head yes, as her eyes wandered around the apartment.

"Your apartment looks great, you've done a lot."

"Yeah, I really like it here. It's a cozy little place."

"It's not so little Alex."

Alex let out a laugh before placing the glass of bourbon in front of Olivia.

"So I guess we should talk."

"Yeah we should." Olivia agreed.

"Couch?"

Olivia shook her head following Alex, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from her.

"I was relieved when I heard from you today. I gotta say confessing you're in love with someone really does a number on one's nerves."

"Yeah, sorry I just needed to let it all sink in."

"Don't apologize."

"I knew we needed to talk. I just wanted our conversation to not have me being angry."

"I don't want you to be angry with me anymore."

"I guess I just want to know at this point why you waited so long to come back to me, to tell me you're in love with me?"

"Trust me I asked myself that question a million times. And the truth is you're right, I was scared. Maybe I WAS scared that it messed up the Cabot fairytale, or maybe it was because I wasn't sure if I deserved you after all that I've put you through."

"Alex don't say things like you don't deserve me."

"Liv, you were everything to me. You were my best friend, my confidant. When I came back from Witness Protection and the Congo, I wanted to see you first, I missed you the most and you always let me back into your life. I'm a fool, Olivia. I have this pattern of walking away from you, not acting on my feeling for you. Walking away that night on the street was what did me in. I finally kissed you, with a little liquid courage, I finally kissed you and all my emotions just flooded through me. It felt so good and so right and it scared the shit out of me. I wasn't sure if I had just screwed up our friendship if I had just made a move on my best friends and she would hate…"

"Alex, I wanted you to kiss me."

"You did?"

"God, to be so brilliant, you're a little dense. I flirted with you endlessly. And the reason I always let you back in my life is because I hated when you weren't in my life. I always felt I was missing something and I realized it was just you that I was missing."

"It didn't scare you?"

"The only thing that scared me was exactly what happened. You walked away. Just like all the times before, I was in love with you and I had repressed my feelings for you… Then you kissed me and everything for that moment was perfect… and then it happened."

"You were in love with me and I fucked it up."

Alex had tears welling in her eyes.

"We just couldn't get it right."

"I want to get it right. I have to get it right. I've changed Olivia, not having you in my life changed me."

"What am I supposed to do Alex?"

"Forgive me. Let me try and make up for that night and the last four years, hell the whole time you've known me."

Olivia ran her hands through her hair.

"Alex I have a son now. We can't play the games we did before.

You can't come in my life and then disappear again. Noah wouldn't understand that and I can't do that anymore."

"I understand what I'm asking. I understand how this affects Noah too. Please know that I've always considered him."

Olivia looked at Alex and the stood from the couch.

She paced Alex's living room and Alex let her.

When she finally stopped Olivia looked at Alex and then looked away.

"You're the only person who can take me down. You're the only person who can break my heart, who has broken my heart. I don't think I can do that again."

Alex tried to wipe away the tears before she stood up facing Olivia.

"Please let me try and prove this to you. Please let me prove I'm the person you wanted me to be two years ago."

Olivia was nervously biting her bottom lip.

Then surprisingly Olivia shook her head yes.

"Yes? Yes?" Alex confirmed. "I promise Liv."

Olivia took a deep breath as Alex smiled as she wiped a stray tear that has fallen down Olivia's cheek.

"Can I kiss you? Alex asked making a step closer.

She watched Olivia's lips part.

Instead of Olivia protesting, this time, it was Olivia who took a step closer to Alex.

Alex didn't hesitate to kiss Olivia. Every ounce of chemistry that had run through them that night and all those nights before was right there.

Alex pulled back slightly, just enough to see Olivia's face.

"That was a damn good start."

Olivia was cautious, but couldn't help but agree.