Right first off i just want to say a big thankyou to all those who have reviewed my story, its truley rewarding to find out how many people enjoy my hobby, and even those who put me on their alerts list, i find that very flattering. Now, you maybe thinking after you have read this that things are moving on very fast, and well yes thats true, i did that on purpose. But if you rememer back to Kat and Zoe, everything massive was revealed all in one night, and Ronnie's night of revelations is happening this night, christmas eve. I love the pace of which things are happening in EE at the moment, but i think when it kicks off, its going to kick off like a snowball effect, and it will all come out all in one night, the same as my story. (the only difference being its quite obvious eastenders will have it after xmas)

So yes, big thankyou, and ohh by the way, this is a long one. ;-) enjoy and please review!!


The pub was packed and the festivities were underway, red, silver and green were the only colours in sight, Band Aid was in full play, and the ever faithfull's all had their usual seats around the Vic.

Ronnie stopped just behind the door, looking around and searching for the impending trouble causers, luckily they weren't to be seen. Not yet.

Ronnie walked towards the bar, her heart beating in her chest like it was about to explode. She couldn't understand herself, she felt like the same 14 year old, terrified that the truth was about to be discovered, worried about what people think, and mainly what her dad may do. It took a while for her to remember that she wasn't the same scared teenager. She was a fully grown woman, a woman who shouldn't be afraid of what anybody thinks, and especially what is said about the man stood next to her.

Joel placed an arm on her shoulder, and she stood up taller, defiant, backing down was not an option, not this time. She glanced to her right just as Jack walked through the double doors, he didn't look the slightest bit merry, she supposed the two of them didn't have much to celebrate this Christmas. He caught her eye, and edged his way closer, he then noticed she had company, never one to be perplexed by competition, Jack carried on towards her anyway.

Jack: "Ron, you fancy a drink?"

Ronnie: "Not tonight Jack, I have some things I need to sort out"

Jack: "Yeah well im sure some exceptions can be made, i mean it is Christmas eve, whatever it is, im sure it can't be that important"

Just then she heard Joel take a large intake of breath

Ronnie: "Well for once Jack it...."

Joel: "You heard the lady, she said not tonight, you deaf or something?"

Ronnie gave Joel the eye, he had stepped out of line, and causing a fight in the middle of the Queen Vic would give her father far too much satisfaction for her to bear.

Jack: "and who's this then, some new flame?"

Just as he said that he noticed the ring on Joel's wedding finger, and gave Ronnie the slyest of smiles.

Jack: "ah, i see, some cosy little affair is it?"

Joel snapped, and slammed his fist down on the bar. She cut him off from speaking.

Ronnie: "The pair of you, just pack it in!"

Jack looked at Ronnie, and he kept his eyes on her while downing his drink, he slammed it down on the bar and took off.

Jack: "You aint worth it love, you never were!"

This was just another battle he would have to lose. Ronnie put her head in her hands, Joel attempted to place an arm on her shoulder but it was quickly rejected, she ordered a double vodka and coke from Tracey, and gulped it all in one go.

Just then Roxy and Sean walked out of the doors deep in conversation; she caught a glimpse of her sister, smiled and looked back at Sean. Just as Ronnie thought she was in the clear, Roxy shot back another look, and utter alarm was the only thing written on her face. In that moment Roxy stood still, and Sean was totally unaware she wasn't paying attention to him. The music seemed to turn up louder, she couldn't hear anybody, all this Christmas music was so happy and jolly, and Ronnie couldn't be further away from the festive mood if she tried.

Roxy left Sean stranded, she knocked into everybody and anybody to get to her sister, her expression was blank, it was as if her brain had been scrambled and she wasn't quite sure what to say first. She finally arrived at her destination, and she checked to see if it was him, it was, she was sure of it. Roxy was in pure disbelief, as if her sister could be so stupid to invite Joel to the annual Christmas party. In her usual manner, Roxy let her sister know exactly what she thought.

Roxy: "What the 'ell is going on"

Ronnie was vastly losing patience

Ronnie: " Rox, just stay out of this ok"

There was no acknowledgement between Joel and Roxy.

Roxy: "I cannot believe you invited him to the Christmas party, what the hell were you thinking."

Ronnie grabbed hold of her sister's arm viscously, and moved her away from the bar and into the corner.

Ronnie: "I didn't invite him, he turned up at the club, and this hasn't got anything to do with you, so just back off Rox!"

Just before Roxy could even respond, the voice of her father bellowed across the pub.

Archie: "Joel, long time no see!"

Ronnie couldn't look, even Roxy couldn't look. They both stood, glued to the spot, daring to see the face of their father, it was some time before they did and the look on Archie's face was menacing. Ronnie felt a fire burning up in the pit of her stomach; he had lied to her since her child was born, about the adoption, about who she may be living with, about her 'so called' death. This man was supposed to be her father, but instead he intended on ruining everything in her life, and he did it with such venom.

Joel never replied to Archie's taunting voice, he just carried on drinking his drink, squaring up his enemy.

Archie: "Fancy my daughter forgetting to tell me we had a special guest arriving"

Ronnie moved away from her sister and took her place next to Joel, staring at her father with such intensity she could have turned him to stone. She gingerly picked up her drink, taking a sip, staring him down, he wasn't anything to her, he would never be anything to her, and she knew that as long as he was in her life he would continue ruining it. One of them had to go, and Ronnie had no intention of being that person.

She put her drink down, she had drunk it dry, she placed her index finger round the rim of the glass in a circle effect, summoning the words, and then she leant over the bar, and motioned for him to come closer, ever so quietly and without emotion she whispered in her dad's ear.

Ronnie: "you have lied to me about everything; and destroyed my life in the process. I know she's not dead, I know she was with mum, and i also know that if i share this information with my sister, and Peggy, you will be out of here before the end of the night".

Archie smiled and picked up a glass from behind the bar, he dried it, looking back and forth to Joel and then to Ronnie, he knew the game was up, but it wasn't over, and it wouldn't be over for some time. He put the glass down and walked towards the back of the pub, and then continued up the stairs.

Ronnie looked at Joel, he knew where she was going, and she wasn't going to give in, but this wasn't his argument.

Joel: "It may be a good idea to leave this to another day Ronnie"

As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he should have kept his opinions to himself.

Ronnie: "I don't remember this ever concerning you Joel, in fact i remember you keeping well out of this side of things. So just keep doing what you know best"

Ronnie looked at her sister, she didn't need to say anything, and Roxy knew what it meant, don't follow me, do not get involved.

With that she continued to follow Archie all the way up the stairs.

Ronnie: "Your never one to run away dad, finally admitting defeat are we!"

He ignored her again, and it made her angrier, she needed a response, she needed a release. He walked into the main living room of the Vic. He pored himself a drink, he knew how to play this, it was the only way he could, clever and conniving and she fell for it every time.

Ronnie stood at the entrance of the living room, watching him, hating him for living, for ruining everything.

Archie: "You will never believe anything i say so why should i even argue"

Ronnie walked towards him, carefully.

Ronnie: "I want to hear what you have to say"

Archie: "Well i did what any father would do, I did it for your own good. I didn't think it was right for you to be looking for her, and i didn't want you anywhere near that mother of yours!"

Ronnie: "So, instead of me ever finding my child, you explain to me that she is dead, and that my mother is in Australia tanning herself on a daily basis while you were playing the role of the doting father?"

Ronnie shook her head in disbelief, she could never understand why she ever believed his lies, they sounded ridiculas, yet she found them so easy to lap up.

Archie: "Well you never questioned them did you? In fact you were quite relieved weren't you V? I did it because I knew that you could never be a mother, you may be one in the sense that you gave birth, but that's just nature, and nurture is something else entirely, and you haven't got that, you never have and you never will"

Ronnie could feel the tears prickling her eyes, she couldn't show weakness, not now.

Ronnie: "You never gave me a chance! I shut down, i had to, you had taken a part of me away, do you know what its like to have your arms aching because there is something missing, to be envious of mothers taking their child to school, to be unable to get out of bed on her birthday because the pain is unbearable!"

Archie: "That's all well and good Veronica, but I've seen the way you are with people, look at that Danielle girl who lives with The Slaters, she's 19/20 and you had her arrested because she embarrassed you for a total of 20 seconds. Is that a person who has all the hallmarks of a mother? I mean after all that girl is the same age as your daughter, and you showed no compassion, not an ounce. Let's face it V, you are not worthy, and if she's bright, which i expect she will be, she will stay as far away from you as possible.

For once Ronnie had no response; she was as guilty as charged.

Ronnie: "I'm not going to back down you know, they will know everything"

Archie: "You should know by now Veronica, that it's me who plays the games round here"

Ronnie looked at the floor, and then glanced back up at her father, just above a whisper she calmly delivered the blow.

Ronnie: "Not for much longer"

Joel was still stood in the same place that Ronnie had left him. He had ordered several drinks since she had left and one by one they were disappearing. She was taking her time, and he dreaded to think what was going on upstairs. Roxy was still burning a hole through his back, and he was getting impatient. This pub had atmosphere, but he didn't think the residents of Walford were overly friendly, the sign behind the bar amused him, pub of the year, it was hardly deserved.

The doors were frequently letting in people as well as a cold draft, mostly they were old, but this time he heard a young voice, one that seemed familiar to him. He didn't bother to turn round; alcohol always seemed to cause a blip in his memory. He took another sip of his drink, and then he saw her at the other side of the bar. His eyes' quickly focused and he felt himself sobering up immediately, Joel thought she looked a lot paler and more tired than the last time he saw her. She was laughing at something her friend had said, and she seemed to glance around, looking for someone, and then her eyes locked in on him. Time seemed to stop, the pair of them just staring at each other, she looked so much like her mother it was unmistakeable. How did Ronnie miss it?

But pure panic was written all over Danielle Jones's face; she said something quickly to her friend and made an immediate exit towards the door.

He screamed her name across the pub and darted over towards her as quickly as he could, there was no way of doing it without making a scene, her friend seemed perplexed as to what was going on, and Roxy seemed to be watching all of this with intensity. He grabbed her by the arm, and she was forced to turn round.

Danielle: "Get off me!"

He wasn't hurting her, not in the slightest, but he didn't want to let go

Joel: "What are you doing here?"

Danielle turned her back to him and walked out of the Queen Vic on towards the square. He followed suit.

Joel: "Danielle I asked you a question!"

She turned round immediately, tears streaming down her face.

Danielle: "Have you told her?"

He had guessed Ronnie had no idea of the connection between her and Danielle, but hearing her say it made him shudder.

He was struck dumb, he wanted to ask her so many questions, but none of that was relevant, he had to convince her to do what was right. There would be a lot of pain, but it was clear that the pair of them needed each other, and he had to be the glue that did it.

Joel: "No, I haven't, but I would have done if I had known you were here"

Danielle nodded and wiped away tears from her eyes, she couldn't look at him, so she locked her gaze onto the floor like a scolded child. Joel tenderly put his finger underneath her chin gently to make her look at him, and he ever so slightly wiped away the tears from her face. The pair of them looked at each other for a moment, and he was stunned as to how much she looked like her mother. He had her head in his hands and quickly brought her forward into a deep hug. He was taken aback as to how much she melted into him, her head positioned perfectly into his neck; she seemed to cry harder, he could feel her tears on his shirt.

Joel: "Shh, its ok"

She moved out of his hold and looked at him, he just didn't understand.

Danielle: "No its not, she hates me!"

Joel: "Now why on earth would she hate you?"

Danielle wiped another tear away before looking around to see who may be listening.

Danielle: "We did get on for a while, but that was ages ago, so now she hates me and that's all you need to know"

She moved further away from him, her legs feeling like they were about to give in, she moved towards Arthurs bench, and she looked up towards the main room of the Queen Vic.

Joel wanted to keep standing, just so he could admire his daughter a bit more; he couldn't believe how brave she was to do all of this on her own, live day in day out in the same area your mother lives, yet just watching from the sidelines, he was right, she wasn't as fragile as she looked and all of this must have been pure torture, a permanent battle with herself.

Analysing her made him wonder just what it was that made her different; he loved all of his children, was completely bewildered and fascinated by them, but there was something on Danielle than made her different. He was in the process of working that out when she asked another question.

Danielle: "What did she say about me"

Joel walked towards the bench, and took a place beside her.

Joel: "She's been lied to Danielle, for a long time, which is why she is, the way she is. When i told her you turned up at my doorstep she broke down, she asked me questions about how you were, what you were like"

Danielle carried on watching the window of the Vic, he grabbed hold of her hand, knowing he needed to look into her eyes for what he had to say next.

Joel: "You have to tell her"

Danielle kept her eyes on him and snatched away her hand.

Danielle: "She wouldn't believe me if I did"

Joel: "She would, how could she not, just look at you, your practicall...."

Danielle stood up fast and spun on her heels

Danielle: "We are nothing like each other! Not even one bit, why do you think we don't get on, i already told you she hates me, she would be ashamed to have me as a daughter, that's why i can't tell her"

Joel: "You need to tell her Danielle, that's the only way you can repair this"

Danielle: "Repair what? I have been here for 4 months, and every things fine, i have found a good family in the Slaters, a job, I don't need her, and i know she doesn't need me!"

Joel sighed, he wanted to shake her, reason with her, make her understand.

Joel: "Danielle, she does need you, do you actually believe she is happy? How could she be happy wondering where her daughter is, if she's ok? What would you do in the same position, just imagine what it would be like if you were her, walking past your own flesh and blood everyday and never knowing about it, you can't honestly expect to keep doing that?

Danielle broke down again, this was exhausting for her, and didn't he know how many times that exact thought had gone through her head. But it seemed so much easier living this way; she couldn't face rejection, not again, especially not from her.

She sat back down again, he put an arm round her shoulder and guided her into a hug.

Danielle: "But what if she doesn't want anything to do with me?"

Joel: "I promise you that won't happen"

Danielle: "She can be a right cow sometimes"

He sniggered and kissed her forehead.

Joel: "I know, I've been on the end of her temper more than once, but what you have to know is this, she went through hell trying to convince her father to keep you, she did everything she could. But because we were kids we were powerless, there was nothing we could do, and she has never been the same since"

Joel looked down on Danielle; he rubbed the hair away from her eyes. He lowered his gaze and whispered in her ear.

Joel: "Will you promise me you will tell her the truth?"

She looked up at him, and nodded slowly.

Danielle: "I'll tell her tonight, I promise"