Her Agony
Amu lived in a life full of pain and sorrow. With no love. No, not anymore. The past was what hurt her the most, yet she didn't want to let go. But one day, she meets a boy by the name of Ikuto Tsukiyomi, and he changes her life, forever.
June 17, 2012: Updated Edited Version
It's been such a long time since I'd been typing fanfiction. I still read fanfiction a lot, and I think about what to write for these stories so much it confuses my brain, but it always ends up blank. So I thank everyone who reviewed, favorited, alerted, and read this story. And I respect your patience for waiting for this chapter. Thank you!
Reviewers from chapters 1 & 2:
bma925
Megan May
Anti-Social Society
linblueneko
StrawberryMii-Chan
My Name is Riley
pinkkittyninja
(theres a blank because there was an anonymous reviewer with no name)
ameenah
DarkChoclat
Crimson-Midnight-Moon
mountaingirl47
Random
Piggy7869
ChisaMaxx
Smile and Jewel
My apologies if I spelled a few of these pen names wrong or capitalized when I shouldn't have!
Thank you everybody! And for readers who liked the story but didn't review- I understand that sometimes it's annoying to click the review button, or that you have reasons to not be able to review, but if you can, please do leave a comment! Because that way, I would know that you liked the story and I would have the motivation to continue this story. ~_~
Oh, and sorry for not spacing the lines that much, I understand very well how difficult it can be to read it without much spacing. But I think it's bearable.
So here's your chapter! Enjoy!~
Disclaimer- I do not own Shugo Chara or any of the characters. All credit belongs to the rightful owners.
Recap
The walk back to Amu's house was quiet. The only sound was the crunching of leaves under her feet. She replayed the events in her head. To Amu, today was a very tiring day. This year, there were more fanboys and fangirls than usual and they wouldn't leave her alone. Amu grimaced as she arrived at her house and unlatched the gate.
Amu rummaged through her backpack for her set of keys and opened the door to her so called, "home."
The Offer
"I'm home." Amu muttered, heading into the kitchen to grab a can of Sprite to drink, before going up to do her homework.
"Oh? Really...I might consider that offer..." Tadase's voice trailed off as he saw his beloved daughter enter the kitchen. "Hold on," he said to the person on the other end who was still speaking, and put his cellphone down, then looked at Amu. He held her gaze for a moment before she turned her head away.
His eyes stayed focused on where Amu had been, thinking about something, while his other hand reached for the cellphone on the counter. "I'm sorry. Can we talk about this rather another time? I need time to think."
"...Yes, that would be fine. Thank you for your offer." After ending the phone call, he turned to Amu, who was quickly gulping down the rest of her soda, trying to look as if she weren't eavesdropping.
"So..." he started, trying to break the awkward tension in the air. Amu didn't answer, so he cleared his throat, and said it again. This time he dragged out the word longer to create more emphasis. "Soooo..."
When his daughter still did not answer, he said it yet again. But, he made it even more obvious what he wanted her to say—even though, dragging out the word, 'so' would be enough for a normal person to catch this hint. But Amu chose to ignore it, seeing how she despised this man so much. If she wrote a list of people she hated the most, Tadase Hotori would be among the top.
The name she calls him in her head and in her journal—Tadagay—is already self-explanatory toward what she thought of him.
"So..." he said, again for the third time. "How was school?"
The pinkette glared at him and didn't answer.
Maybe, she wanted him to get frustrated and angry at her.
Or maybe she didn't, but either way, his patience finally rubbed off. "I asked you, 'How was school?' Clearly, you should have answered with at least, 'I am fine, thank you for asking.' or if more casual, 'It's okay." You should have at least answered with something like that. Amu dear, what happened to your manners? Do you know how much a disgrace it is for us? To have a child like you! No, almost a woman now. You should know more! In business, you do not glare, nor do you stay silent. Do you understand? How many times do I have to tell you this! Your mother and I, especially your mother—we do not accept this attitude of yours! If she were home..."
Why do I care? It's not like you are my father! It's not like you guys have manners! It's not like you and that mother of mine love me! Do you even care? Heh, I bet all you care is your stupid money! Your stupid corporation, isn't it?
There is no such thing as LOVE. You pathetic people are just like Ebenezer Scrooge, 'cept he is better than you! Have you ever taken a thought about my feelings? Huh? Have you ever wondered what is it like for me?
It's always, 'Straighten your back!'
'Why didn't you get 100% on this test? Be more careful next time! If you keep getting 90's and 95's, how will you improve? How will you get into the University of Tokyo, let alone be a doctor! I expect you will meet my expectations next time.'
'Look at your friend, Heather, in America! She has gotten into MIT with a FULL scholarship! What do you think we expect from you?'
That's mother's dream! To be a doctor! NOT MINE.
You always hurt me, and yet you cease to know my depression exists! What have I done wrong? Do you simply just hate me so? I hate you! I hate you and mother! You buy me everything! And you spoil me, but I need love. I need it! But still, you ignore my silent pleas, and take my dreams away.
Do you know? I CRY. I CRY BECAUSE OF YOUR VERY EXISTENCE! I CRY BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL GUILT OF SOMETHING ENTIRELY NOT MY FAULT! YOU MAKE ME FEEL PAIN, WHEN IT SHOULD BE HAPPINESS. YOU MAKE ME HATE MYSELF! DO YOU KNOW? DO YOU? YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY! YOU MAKE ME FEEL HATRED TOWARDS EVERYONE. YOU TOOK AWAY WHAT I LOVED MOST, AND WORSE, MAKE ME HATE IT!
This life! I feel it isn't worth living for! I feel my heart break when I see people that are happy. And I hate myself! I hate myself for hating them, because I shouldn't hate them! Yet, because of YOU AND HER. I DO.
All you're capable of doing is criticizing me!
Amu wanted to scream all of what was in her mind. She wanted to grab something and smash it against the wall. She wanted to take deep breaths, because suddenly, she couldn't breathe. But instead, Amu answered in a voice so calm, it didn't seem forced at all. "I know father, please excuse my behavior. My day has been fine at school, thank you for being concerned."
Then, without another word, she silently tossed away the empty can of Sprite, and mentally stomped up the stairs. Running through her mind were all the cuss words used to describe her mother and father.
Journal,
Stupidstupidstupid. This is stupid.
That stupid man always tries to be so nice to me. But I know he really does hate me. And so does mother.
I hate how all they do is yell at me! I hate how I can never be good enough in their eyes. What is considered, 'satisfactory?' All they care about is their stupid frickin money. They're already rich.
But they are still greedy for money. Heh. Pathetic. UGH. I WAS LIKE GUNNA EXPLODE AT THAT MOMENT EARLIER TODAY. Like right when I got home. He pisses me off. I can feel my anger bubbling inside me now.
Tadagay gave this gay lame-o lecture about my attitude and whatever crap. Like hell do I care.
Anyways, I'm not in the mood to write about all that unimportant stuff, so I'll just skip to the main point of this entry.
He told me 'bout this stupid offer. It makes me angry! Who does he think I am? His puppet? Barbie doll? 'Cuz guess what? Apparently, he does think I'm his doll. You know why?
HE WANTS ME TO GET ENGAGED TO SOME STUPID GUY I DON'T EVEN KNOW!
Tadagay's all like, "I'll give you time to think. But give me a reply soon. You should know what your mother and I will expect. Understood?" Even his voice sounds gay.
I'll just wait until the last minute, then tell them NO.
HA-HA.
So in your face stupid old farts. I don't care about some stupid engagement.
Whatever. I'll just accept and by the time it's the wedding, at the I DO part, I'll just openly refuse and embarrass them in front of whoever is going to the wedding.
Hmm. Or maybe not.
I'll plan something.
I'm going to read some books. G'night.
-Amu
And again, I apologize for not updating! It's been soo long! And to anyone who reads GMTH: I won't be updating that for a while. I lost inspiration and so now I'm reading mangas and fanfictions to get my inspiration back. But it's not helping cuz I'll be moving after I finish this grade. Which is just great. Great. Great. Great! (note my sarcasm)
Haha. Well, that's that.
Please review?
