I wanted Lance to have the big epiphany in this chapter but it got kinda longish, so he'll have to stay oblivious a little bit longer. But there are some good things in here too, like: James is rehabilitated, Pidge is onto something and wants to help, and Lance learns more about Keith sometimes even without realising it.
Okay, Lance may have had a fair share of detentions in his life but Iverson managed to take theirs to a new level.
The man was teaching at the Academy long enough to get a taste for the super-strict discipline and ruthless punishments of its earlier days, and it seemed he purposefully refused to acknowledge a much more liberal environment that had been cultivated in the recent years.
They didn't even have to go find him after classes to get their first assignment. No, Iverson waited for them right outside their physics classroom.
Where they'd just had a very difficult aerodynamics lesson by the way. One that, Lance was pretty sure, Keith was finding particularly hard to follow today, since he'd left his textbook in Lance's dorm room. He didn't let it show though, reciting the material he must've learned by heart to suck up to the prof. What a show-off. And he wouldn't even look at Lance who wanted to communicate his confusion and eagerness to clarify things after their extremely awkward conversation earlier. Lance hoped he'd manage to get hold of Keith when they finished, but no.
"Griffin, Kogane! Finally showed your true colours, didn't you! You won't be as enthusiastic to throw fists at each other after I'm done with you," Iverson barked at the two, effectively halting them in their steps and consequently making Lance crash right into Keith's back.
For a moment where he found himself nose deep in Keith's mullet Lance thought dreamily, 'So it's thick and soft. Perfect bastard.' But his bliss was never meant to last long, as Iverson's gruff voice quickly reminded him where he was.
"And who's this?" Lance straightened his back under the severe stare of Iverson's one functioning eye and gulped nervously. Of course the man didn't remember him, he only instructed fighter pilots and Lance last saw him at the placement test last year. And since Lance didn't pass, well... it still sucked to have to state his less prestigious status.
"Lance McClain, sir, cargo pilot," he managed without making a stuttering fool of himself. Which was partially thanks to Keith whom Lance was more irritated at right now than he was scared of Iverson. After all, rumour had it that it was after the exchange programme had been introduced that the number of spots in each group was redistributed.
"Hmph, you'll be working extra hard then, because I'm not going to go easy on you just because you're not as fit," Lance heard James chuckle and felt his cheeks blaze with shame. He was so mortified he didn't notice Keith tense beside him as well.
"Enough loitering! You've got work to do," Iverson said strictly and headed down the corridor, indicating with all his stiff retreating body that he expected them to follow without questions.
They ended up at the library and stopped in front of a large pile of boxes with brand new equipment for the interactive lab-simulators that would allow students to practice lab work outside of class. And all this equipment had to be taken to the third floor. Normally they used drones to do it, but watching them carry the heavy load wouldn't make for much of a punishment, so they had to carry all the boxes themselves. Oh, and they had to use the stairs.
Now Lance wasn't ashamed to admit he'd always found chemistry hard, but after going three rounds with boxes that weighed more than a bunch of bricks he learned that it was apparently also heavy as hell. It didn't help matters that he was the only one who was barely breathing by that point, whereas Keith and James looked like they had yet to break a sweat. Okay, probably not James, but Keith definitely didn't seem bothered in the slightest by the extra exercise.
'I wouldn't be either with a mean body like his,' Lance thought glumly, moving shakily up a flight of stairs. Well, one of the perks here was that he could see Keith's toned arms and legs in action, and when he lagged behind he got a wonderful view of Keith's nice firm bottom that was practically-
"McClain! You fell asleep or what! Move those noodle legs faster or you'll get a double load next time," right, he couldn't get distracted by Mr. Beef right now. He'd just catalogue everything he saw and later today think about it in the privacy of his bathroom. Yes, good plan.
Which was very difficult to stick to because the half-Galra had to get in his face and offer help just as he was climbing up the last flight. Keith didn't say anything and barely looked at Lance, but there was no mistaking the gesture: with Keith's outstretched hands ready to take Lance's burden it was crystal clear. And sooo very tempting. But Lance was stubborn (and stupid obviously, his muscles were screaming already), so he ignored the silent offer.
Unsurprisingly, by the time they finished for the day Lance could hardly feel his appendages at all and had a strong suspicion that he'd be so sore next morning he'd be lucky if he could move a finger. He went to his dorm at a snail's pace, thinking about his bed with sweet longing and imagining them being two star-crossed lovers who'd have to separate as soon as the sun rose. Too soon that is.
What he absolutely didn't expect to see when he finally got to his room was Pidge, who sat cross legged on his beloved bed and held what appeared to be a tiny transistor in one hand and a screwdriver in the other. Hunk was kneeling on the floor at her feet, holding a flashlight so that the beam was lighting the thing from the bottom.
"Uh, guys? It's like, past curfew, what are you doing here?" Lance didn't even have strength to express the appropriate amount of surprise but you couldn't blame him. After all he'd been through it was a miracle he was still standing upright.
"Lance, you're alive!" Pidge hollered and got shushed by Hunk who, however, exclaimed not much quieter, "We've been worried sick, where have you been all this time?"
In not too many words Lance told them about his trip to the principal's office and their joined detention. Pidge scoffed when he got to the part where Iverson came to pick them up, muttering 'rude baboon', and Hunk shook his head sympathetically when he heard how many times Lance had to go up and down the stairs.
"I still don't get it, what happened at the canteen? Why was Keith hitting James and how did you get in the middle of it?" Pidge always knew the right questions to ask, the only trouble was - Lance had no idea how to answer them.
"I wish I knew," he said, sitting down on his chair heavily. "James got mad at me when I ran into him and then Keith was there, and he was-," Lance was too tired to focus but the first thought that popped into his fuzzy brain was 'Keith was trying to protect me'. Then, suddenly, he remembered Keith's words outside of the principal's office when he asked if somebody was courting Lance, and another absurd idea appeared out of nowhere, 'Keith was trying to defend my honour.'
It sounded silly even in his head so Lance shook it for good measure. But Pidge came to a conclusion of her own at that moment.
"Wait, was that why you were asking me about Keith earlier?" she turned to Hunk who now sat sprawled on the floor.
"I-uh, no?" he glanced at Lance, with no subtlety whatsoever, and Pidge might've had an actual lightbulb pop above her head, so enlightened she looked all of a sudden.
"Lance, what did you do to him?" now it was Lance's turn to scoff and sputter.
"I didn't do anything, that's the problem! It's all the stupid mullet's fault, and every time I try to talk about it with him he throws a bunch of nonsense at me and flees," Lance's frustration was the only thing that fuelled him but it quickly dissipated and he rubbed at his face in exhaustion.
"What did he say?" Pidge was genuinely curious and Lance couldn't, wouldn't deal with it today. He realised that to explain the whole situation to her would take him confessing everything once again. And he simply didn't have the strength, nor courage to do it right now.
"Hey, Pidge, let's leave it till tomorrow, okay," Hunk got up from the floor and took the device from Pidge's hands, communicating something to her with a meaningful look. She grasped it right away, nodded in agreement and climbed off Lance's bed, straightening the sheets as if in apology for intrusion.
She knew Lance never minded her company but felt that he needed space, especially after such a trying day. Still, she couldn't leave on a sombre note like this and called when she was at the door, "Just so you know, I'll be glad to introduce you to Captain Shirogane any time you like."
And with a cheeky wink Pidge was out of the room, leaving Lance pouting but actually relieved and happy she didn't press the matter.
Also, who was he kidding, it left him a bit elated and hopeful that one day he would meet his hero after all. With that thought Lance fell asleep, even as there was a peculiar itch at the back of his mind, telling him he was forgetting something important.
—
Just as Lance predicted, next day started with a great deal of pain. His body felt like one big cramped muscle and he woke up Hunk with his groans because he deserved to have company while he suffered.
Once he got up, however, and got his blood flowing a little, his mood improved. Up until the moment he had to bend down to pack his bag for the day and later when he had to sit at his desk in class. Everything hurt, so much, and his pride, wounded by chuckles and giggles around him, only made it worse.
His sorry physical state didn't save him from mental struggles either. At statistics Mr. York decided Thursday was a perfect day for a surprise test on everything they learned so far. The way he delivered it to them sounded so much like one of his weird overly complicated jokes Lance realised he wasn't trying to be funny when he only had half an hour till the bell. He wouldn't be surprised if he failed it completely.
After two more excruciatingly slow classes lunch came like a breath of fresh air Lance so desperately needed. There was just one little problem he knew he'd have to face.
"Sooo, will you tell me now what happened between you and Keith?" Pidge's curiosity amplified by her natural stubbornness hit Lance like a truck - head on and without warning.
"It's a long story," he started reluctantly, still not sure he knew the best way to formulate his story. Hell, he hadn't wrapped his own head around the whole situation yet. But he also knew he couldn't hide from Pidge forever, and he didn't really want to.
"Well, I'm all ears and don't mind skipping next class if you're up for it," Lance shrugged and winced, gingerly sipping from a carton of strawberry milk - he didn't feel like fumbling with a fork right now and wondered if he'd be able to sip his bowl of noodles through a straw as well.
"Uh, I don't know what Iverson might do to me if he finds out I skip classes on top of being a brawl instigator," he said, chuckling a little nervously, which made Hunk look around in concern. Pidge, however, was unfazed.
"Alright, just start from the beginning," she leaned closer, her elbow almost ending up in her lasagna, and Lance realised there was no talking himself out of it.
"Okay, right, well-,"
"How did the two of you end up talking anyway?" she interrupted right away.
"Uhh, we haven't actually-"
"I mean, I know you've had hots for him since the placement test flights, but you always denied it and I thought it'd take you at least-,"
"Woah, woah, woah, hold up! You knew?" Lance probably would be on his feet and flailing his arms around right now if his limbs weren't so stiff and sore. Instead he just dropped his milk and his jaw. Then he realised what just came out of his mouth and tried to correct himself, "I mean what are you talking about I never-," but it was too late, of course.
"Don't waste your energy denying it, just tell me: did he approach you first? Cause I know you're one of the most oblivious people on campus, but surely even you had to notice the looks Keith has been throwing your way lately," Pidge grinned at him then and Lance felt a shiver of apprehension run down his tense aching spine.
"N-no, what looks?" he asked weakly.
"Yeah, what looks?" Hunk parroted with more vigour and stared at Pidge in question.
"Why, he's been obviously trying to catch your attention," she stated as if they were missing a huge elephant in the room. When Lance joined Hunk in the staring contest, she sighed and elaborated, "What, haven't you noticed how every time Keith nails a dangerous flip in PE or aces a difficult question in the classroom he always glances your way, Lance, to see your reaction?"
In fact, no, Lance hadn't. His blank dumbfounded expression must've egged Pidge on because she continued, raising her volume as she went.
"Well I'm not exactly surprised, you do have a really dorky look on your face every time that happens, but let me tell you," and here she dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "Keith never tries as hard in any of the classes you don't share. Believe me, I asked around."
"W-what are you driving at?" Lance asked, even though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"What I'm driving at is," Pidge paused and fell back in her chair, making it tilt backwards and balance on two legs, "that you must've done something really stupid to piss him off, the boy was so eager to make friends with you."
Lance didn't know if he imagined it, but the way Pidge raised one eyebrow at the word 'friends' couldn't be just for emphasis. What was she implying?
"Do you really think he was-? No, it's not that, I mean, I haven't done anything, I swear, at least I think I haven't," and of course now Lance started rethinking everything he'd ever said to Keith and wondering if any of that could've offended him. As his brain short-circuited Hunk thankfully came to his rescue.
"If anything, I think there was a misunderstanding," he offered and Pidge turned her attention to him.
"Tell me more."
Lance called Hunk his best friend for a reason, he knew him better than anyone else, and in this tricky situation managed to disclose as much information to Pidge as Lance was comfortable with. In the remaining fifteen minutes of their lunch break he told her the gist, with an occasional confirmation from Lance, and still kept Lance's main secret. Seriously, sometimes Lance was ready to confess his undying love to his big life-saving buddy.
It wasn't that he didn't trust Pidge, he just wanted to tell her everything himself when he was ready, and right now was not the time yet. And she wasn't stupid, she sensed that they were hiding something but didn't insist, promising instead that she would look into the 'weird (half)-Galra behaviour' matter in her spare time (which probably translated into 'during class right under the professor's nose').
Lance was truly thankful for the wonderful friends he had.
And yet what Pidge told him about Keith left him wondering. Could it be that Keith wasn't as oblivious to Lance's existence before last weekend as Lance believed he was? No way, when he brought his stupid book he made it pretty clear he didn't even know Lance's name. It didn't make sense.
He contemplated cornering Keith before Iverson would accost them, but had no such luck: both James and Keith arrived straight at their next sight of torment. The gym.
When they entered Lance had a wild thought that Iverson would order them to fight each other to see who lasted longer, but it turned out he wanted them to work in a team. Lance wasn't sure which of the two options was crazier. But Iverson had a point.
"You see that equipment over there," he pointed to a bunch of hurdles, benches, a couple of vaulting bucks, what looked like a dismantled climbing set and some other unidentifiable junk. All of it seemed rather out of shape and Lance guessed what Iverson wanted them to do before he said it. "It has to be taken outside for the recycling service workers to pick up at eight. So you better get a move on!"
James' face twisted into a sour expression and Lance didn't even try to hide how miserable he felt, but Keith, oh he was a perfect picture of stoicism and neutral acceptance. They would totally make a great team all together.
The outdated equipment was as heavy and cumbersome as it looked and it took them some time to figure out how to pick up the larger pieces. At first James was huffing and rolling his eyes when Lance failed to hold his end of each piece straight, but after transporting half of the stuff he wasn't much better himself so they just worked in silence and in peace alongside. As for Keith, let's say, Lance would've been surprised to hear him complain. What irritated him though was that the mullet-head wouldn't hold his gaze for more than a couple seconds even when they walked literally face to face while carrying some of the things.
At least the exercise got to him today because when they were done (at a quarter to eight!) Keith's cheeks were as red as tomatoes and his long bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead.
'Not so tough and tireless after all, are you,' Lance thought, smirking triumphantly to himself, even as he was barely standing on his own two feet.
In fact, when he rose from the last crouch after depositing a particularly heavy weight plate he swayed and almost fell back, but in the last moment felt a firm hand catch him by the elbow.
"Easy there, wouldn't want to haul you ass to the infirmary after this shitload of old crap," James was eloquent as ever, despite his own visible exhaustion. Even so, there was no malice in his tone.
"Uh, thanks, man," Lance mumbled awkwardly.
"Don't mention it," James let go of him but didn't leave, shifting a bit from foot to foot, as if he wanted to say something else and didn't know how to begin. Lance waited, and rightly so. "Hey, listen, about the other day, during lunch, what I said..." he started haltingly, and Lance couldn't believe his ears. Was that- Was he really going to-?
"Look, I want to apologise," James looked at him with determination and Lance could imagine what immense effort it took him to admit he had been wrong. "The things I said- I didn't really mean it, you know, that you're no good for team work, I think- Well, you kinda are a klutz, but you're okay, on the whole, uhh, so..." God that was painful, Lance had to spare him already, and because he had such a good and gracious soul he did.
"No problem, I got it, you're sorry and I accept, I'm sorry too I ruined your uniform, and our lab work, um," he trailed off.
"Chemistry's the worst, it's not just you," and James grinned at him light-heartedly and clapped him amiably on the shoulder. Lance grinned in return, trying not to wince too much at the soreness he was reminded of. "Alright, I'm gonna go report to Iverson-of-a-bitch and head back to the dorms. Later," Lance chuckled at the spot-on nickname and waved him goodbye, intending to follow him suit.
However, when he went to re-enter the gym he barely avoided running into Keith who was carrying a box with climbing ropes and looked about to walk through the open double-doors. Or had he been standing there?
Lance stuttered our a quick apology and hurried on his way, cause damn was Keith scowly, and the last thing he wanted right now was a new confrontation. True, he had something he wanted to ask Keith about, a few somethings even, but he needed a fresh mind for that, and at the moment the only thing he could think of was his bed.
—
On Fridays Lance had a free morning and then the loading-unloading practice on the simulators after lunch. Usually he had that time to himself, made a nice deep-moisturising mask, shaped his eyebrows, filed his nails, but today he had detention, and since he would be occupied in the evening he had to find Iverson and tell him that.
Hunk had his engines repair workshop at nine so they started out together. As they walked Lance told him once again the amazing tale of Apologetic James, bragging that he had finally grown on the temperamental boy. Hunk just shook his head and smiled, because both of them knew it wouldn't be long before James got pissed off at Lance again. He still could enjoy the moment while it lasted.
The stairs they usually took turned out to be blocked by the janitor and they had to pass through the west wing. There they met Ryan. He just exited the room closest to the stairs, so the three of them went to the main building together.
"Shoot, I'm running late, I promised Shay to meet her at the great hall by the elevators," Hunk remembered when they were a few feet from the entrance.
"Okay, off you go, big guy, see you in the evening. Tell Shay I said hi," Lance called after Hunk's retreating form and got an indistinct parting yell in return.
"Lance?" Ryan had been so quiet the whole walk Lance was surprised to hear him suddenly address him. They rarely spoke outside class but he was always friendly with Lance and right now seemed to have something on his mind. "How are you holding up?"
"Oh, it's alright, well, as much as it can be with Iverson anyway," Ryan nodded in understanding. His face wasn't very expressive but after that fateful camping trip where Ryan basically played referee between him and James Lance learned to discern his emotions. At the moment he was concerned for some reason.
"And how is it going between James and Keith?" he asked.
"Okay, I guess? Definitely not violent," Lance tried to joke because he couldn't tell what exactly Ryan wanted to know.
"That's good...," he hummed. "James let it go already, and he wanted to apologise to you-,"
"Oh yes, he did, took me by surprise," Lance felt his cheeks grow hot. Learning that James had thought about his apology beforehand made it more real somehow.
"That's great, but Keith won't talk to me about what happened, and just when I hoped he was finally starting to open up."
"Open up?"
"We've been roommates since he arrived, but he is very reserved," Ryan looked to the side in defeat and Lance almost blurted out 'So are you!' but held his tongue. Also...
"Wait, you've been roommates all this time?" that... was an interesting piece of information.
"Yes, but we still haven't bonded," noticing Lance's blank stare he clarified, "Like you and Hunk. I believe it's very important to get to know those who share your personal space."
"Yeah, that's fair," Lance hurried to agree but he was distracted by a swarm of questions that he suddenly had a serious urge to ask. Like 'What colour is Keith's comforter?' or 'What shampoo does he use?' or 'Does Keith ever walk around shirtless?' or even 'What does he look like when he sleeps?' But of course that'd be ridiculous and he'd make a big fool of himself. Then again, what did he have to loose?
"Lance?"
"Yes! What?" great, he ended up zoning out on Ryan.
"I asked do you know why he attacked James in the first place?"
"Uhh," now how was he supposed to explain that one. "It's been a misunderstanding," he remembered Hunk saying that to Pidge yesterday, "you know, some silly stuff James said that could get him chopped to pieces on Daibazaal or something like that," was it obvious Lance wasn't telling Ryan the whole truth, he wondered.
"Yeah, that sounds like James," thank God he bought it. "Alright, I hope they'll sort it out on their own, and maybe I'll try talking to Keith again next time I see him."
"Great plan," Lance nodded and then felt the need to add, "You sound like an awesome roommate, Ryan," he winked, showing him thumbs-up.
"Thanks, Lance," Ryan gave him a little smile, which Lance counted as his personal win, and left for his class.
Lance, meanwhile, steeled himself for the next few hours in Iverson's company, dreading what the man might make him do alone.
—
Luckily, when Lance showed up at the teachers' office Iverson was swimming in paperwork so he just loaded Lance with a pile of students files to sort. Lance marvelled at the fact they still kept printed out document when everything was mostly stored on computers, but didn't complain. Those files were much lighter than anything he'd lifted in the past couple of days.
While he was working the temptation to look into the exchange students folder reared its head several times. And after two hours of dull shifting of papers his curiosity overpowered him and Lance went as far as opening and filing through it. However, once he got to the letter K and caught sight of a familiar shaggy hairstyle in the little picture in the corner Lance snapped the folder closed. He didn't want to learn about Keith in such a dishonest way. Besides, even if the picture in the file matched Keith perfectly, the name of the student started with an Y. Lance could be mistaken, of course, he only glimpsed at it after all.
Iverson held him up for most of the lunch break as well and his parting words were, "I expect you tomorrow at the hangars at three sharp." As much as Lance wanted to complain that it was normally his day off he realised there was nothing that would convince Iverson to change his mind. Especially since fighter pilots had flying practice on Saturday mornings, only as far as Lance knew they also trained on the simulators. God only knew what Iverson planned for them in the hangars where all the real machines were located. What if they would get the chance to fly? Or at least get permission to climb into one, Lance definitely wouldn't mind seeing a fighter class jet from the inside.
The rest of the day was relatively uneventful. His piloting instructor even let them go half an hour early, and by six Lance was already back in his room. Hunk was still out though, probably hanging out with Shay, and Pidge had several extra curriculums (some of which she shared with Keith) so there was no point asking her to come over either. To think of it, it was probably for the best, because Lance needed to recharge after all of the stress he'd been under lately.
Nothing could do the trick more perfectly than a nice hot bath. He even had one bath bomb left, a pretty butterfly-shaped purple and blue one with rose and lemon oils that were meant to 'leave the skin feeling as smooth as can be'. He'd been really looking forward to using it and now that Hunk knew of his love for beauty products he would hardly be against Lance soaking in colourful fragrant water. Hopefully.
Before he finished undressing, however, his phone pinged and lit up with a new message, which happened to be from Pidge. Who was most definitely in class right now. Unlike his retro laptop, Lance phone was one of the latest holoscreen models with sensory memory, even if the orange semitransparent corpus had a few cracks already. Pidge's message popped up in a hologram once he tapped it, the bold caps reading 'CHECK THIS OUT' and then a link that looked fit for the ancient search engine on his computer.
"She really thought this through," Lance mused and decided to look up whatever site Pidge insisted he visited before the bath. If it was something mind-blowing and potentially traumatising (which wouldn't be the first time), he would definitely need a quality anti-stress self-care moment afterwards.
Powering up the laptop took a couple of minutes and when Lance was finally typing in the address he felt mildly intrigued. When the homepage loaded though, Lance froze, blinked a couple of times and almost banged his head on the desk. He was an idiot.
It was Shiro's blog, with the familiar dark-mauve backdrop and loads of entries on numerous topics. How could he possibly forget to check Shiro's blog. Lance wanted to facepalm so hard but then his eyes landed on the pinned post that had Allura's logo (a cute white mouse with tiny blue marks on its cheeks similar to the princess') attached to it, along with the time and date of her next stream.
It was on Saturday, starting at six.
This Saturday.
Tomorrow.
Lance couldn't believe he forgot. All this drama with Keith and then the detention - he could've missed seeing his two favourite people together, doing make-up, and 'live', all because of some pretty half-Galra boy he probably had no chance with any way. Gosh, he seriously needed to set his priorities straight.
And yet, since he was already on Shiro's blog, why not look for some logical explanation for this whole mess. Certainly, Shiro would have the answers to all his questions. He even had a QA section on the menu bar, which Lance somehow never visited before.
Today was the day it seemed. The questions Shiro got were numerous and varied greatly. Thankfully, he had them grouped by major themes, like 'Galra vs Human Etiquette', 'Common Cultural Assimilation Problems', 'Is it normal to ... on Daibazaal/Mars/Earth?', 'All You Need to Know About: Galra-Human Marriages', 'Choosing School for Your Children' and many more. Lance suddenly realised that he'd come upon a real goldmine, but also that he'd have to spend the whole night to go through half of it. Not that he had to, but some discussions looked like they could throw more light on his particular situation.
He was about to click on the first relatively fitting topic when his phone pinged again. This time Pidge's message was shorter and read 'Look in Galra-Human Interactions: What Do I Do Wrong' followed by her tiny cartoonish face that laughed at him. Seriously, sometimes Lance suspected Pidge could read minds, even at a distance. But to be fair, the title perfectly summed up his internal turmoil.
Apparently, not only his, there were 30 pages of questions, each of them threaded with answers, clarifications, external links and words of thanks. Lance felt a shiver of excitement at the thought that he too could write to Shiro and get a reply like everybody else who addressed him. But how should he formulate it not to appear a completely ignorant fool who was too lazy to look anything up on his own.
He needed to investigate.
Scrolling through the first couple of pages with the latest threads didn't help Lance much with anything other than learning about a dozen human office workers who feared to insult the recently transferred Galra employees. There were also some desperate individuals in whose cases the damage had already been done and who asked for help. Nothing even remotely close to a school or college setting that interested him most. By page three Lance was starting to doubt he'd find anything useful here at all.
That was how Hunk found him, sitting at the desk half-undressed, while staring intently at the screen and frowning.
"Hey, Lance, what's up?" Hunk asked, startling him a little.
"Can you believe it, I forgot to look on Shiro's blog!" he exclaimed instead of greeting.
"You mean about Keith?" Hunk was unloading his bag at his own desk and picked up the Galra manual that they still hadn't returned to its rightful owner. All because of Lance's sound reasoning - 'if he wants it back he'll have to come and get it himself'.
"Well, not about him exactly, but someone could've had a similar problem, and Shiro gives such good advice," he scrolled down a bit more, looking for a proper illustration when a peculiar thread caught his attention. Unlike most of the questions that were fairly short and held brief descriptions of the predicaments, this one looked more like a letter with its distinct formatting and style.
"Oh wow, this one looks like somebody really needs it," Hunk squinted at the text over Lance's shoulder. Lance decided to humour him and read it out.
"'Mr. Shirogane, I am writing in hope to receive your advice on a matter which is of utmost importance to me. I came to Earth to live and study several months ago and so far my stay here has been most lucrative and satisfying. The struggle to fit in was great at first but I found my way around the teachers and fellow students, except for one. I do not know how to approach the person I find most attractive, giving and kind and whose look alone makes me want to push myself harder in my training and my studies. I fear one wrong move can ruin my chances at courting them successfully and winning their adoration. I assure you that my intentions are most serious and my goal is to build a close partnership that will hopefully turn into a mating bond with time. So far my attempts at catching their attention have been all in vain as they refused to acknowledge my physical prowess and my wit that I tried to demonstrate to the best of my abilities. Of course, I was restricted in my options and could not come across any wild game that would be worth presenting to them, besides I learned that hunting on the grounds surrounding my current place of residence was prohibited by the state law. Therefore, I ask you to, please, tell me what the common human courting techniques are and how I should proceed in my quest. Sincerely, Thunderstorm Darkness'," Lance choked on a snort when he finished.
"Wait, seriously? They signed as-?" Hunk leaned closer to see for himself and Lance burst out laughing.
"This has gotta be a prank!" he wheezed between bouts of laughter. "Who in their right mind would pick a nickname like that!" Hunk chuckled as well but also seemed to be rereading the lengthy message.
"I don't know, they sound pretty serious to me."
"And like they came straight from the 19th century, who says all these fancy words any more," Lance crossed his arms over his chest and huffed.
"I don't know, maybe someone who grew up in one of the colonies and learned the language with what they had close at hand?"
"And what would that be, Pride and Prejudice?"
"Come on, Lance, don't be so judgemental," Hunk teased and Lance glared at him for using such a lame pun. "Okay, how did Shiro reply to that?"
Lance scrolled down to reveal the thread which wasn't too long but contained a couple of links.
"Oh, he took it seriously," Lance read out Shiro's response. "'Dear Thunderstorm Darkness'," here he giggled, got a pointed look from Hunk and continuing as seriously as he could, "'Thank you for sharing your problem with me. I have to admit, I am not as knowledgable when it comes to budding relationships, but I asked a very good friend of mine who has a better insight in such matters and here is what he recommended'," Lance quickly skimmed through Shiro's explanation of where each link lead and chuckled. "Looks like it's a bunch of dating advice websites," out of curiosity he clicked on the first one.
Since the young Galra in need hadn't specified neither their nor their crush's gender Shiro linked the main page where there were two grand sections 'Get the Girl of Your Dreams' and 'Get the Boy of Your Dreams'. Lance wondered if that strict distinction was perhaps the reason so many teenagers and young adults failed to do that - seriously, it'd be much better if there was some universal advice for everyone.
"Do you think it helped them?" Hunk mused and Lance shrugged.
"Who knows, maybe there's something useful in here," and he looked into the list of topics in the get-the-boy section. "Let's see, 'Start a Conversation', 'Get to Know Him', 'Ask Him Out', 'First Date Ideas', 'Simple but Sweet Present Ideas'... Damn they make it sound so simple!"
"Try starting a conversation first," Hunk suggested and went to the closet to change out of his uniform.
During the next few minutes Lance silently poured over the text and Hunk busied himself with cleaning and rearranging his tool kit. Then Lance burst out laughing once again.
"What is it?"
"Oh Hunk, my man, if the 19th century dude read what I just did and took it seriously, they're totally doomed," he spun one time in his chair and beckoned Hunk to come closer. His mirthful expression was so contagious Hunk decided that his tools could wait.
"Here, listen to this: 'Got your eyes on a boy who doesn't notice you? Want to make the first move but don't know how? It's much easier than you think! Just try asking him for a simple favour that he can do right away, like lending you a notebook or showing how to do some easy task. If you're nervous he'll refuse and afraid of being embarrassed, try playing it cool and pretend you're not asking for yourself but for a friend. Better yet, if you and your dream boy haven't spoken even once make it look like you just noticed him and would like to know him better - that will give him a chance to introduce himself the way he wants, and you'll get an opportunity to do the same. Then, casually suggest to hang out some other time. Be nice and friendly and you'll see, he won't be able to resist!'"
"Huh, and that's it?" Hunk scratched his cheek in thought. "I wish I knew that when I first met Shay."
"Hunk, buddy, no, just- No," Lance huffed and shook his head in disapproval. "I can name a dozen of guys who won't fall for this trick in a million years. Take James, he'll ignore anyone who approaches him during break, especially during lunch break, or Keith, imagine somebody asking him to hang out - he'll probably think you want to spar with him or something."
"Funny you mention Keith here," Hunk smirked and raised an eyebrow at Lance.
"Oh shush, it's all hypothetical," Lance said, thinking, 'I wouldn't have the guts to approach him with anything after what happened'. Hunk sensed the drop in the mood and quickly changed the subject.
"Anyway, do you think Shiro believes it's a good source?"
"I guess so, he said a friend recommended it, and it sounded like he had faith in him," Lance closed the questionable dating website and scrolled to the end of the thread.
"Sooo, doesn't that mean that tip could work on Shiro?" it actually took Lance a moment to realise what Hunk was hinting at, and when he did he blushed and sputtered in indignation.
"Th-that's ridiculous- I'd never, no, he'd never-! Argh, let's just agree to never speak of this stupid site ever again," Hunk laughed at him and he pouted a little, focusing on the last message Shiro sent to the unfortunate Thunderstorm Darkness: 'If you have any doubts about the right approach to choose don't hesitate to contact me via insta-mail and I'll do my best to help you figure it out. Good luck! '
'So Shiro suspected the links wouldn't be enough,' Lance thought, stretching on the chair and realising how tense and tired he was.
"Okay, I'm gonna go have a bath, you mind?" Hunk was back at his tool box.
"Nah, go ahead, I'll be occupied a while," he said, saluting Lance with a semi-automatic screwdriver.
When he was finally submerged in the pleasantly hot water that acquired a lovely purplish-blue hue after the bath bomb dissolved Lance thought back to what Hunk suggested. That is, that he couldn't resist bringing up Keith even when discussing things like dating, boyfriends and tricky wooing techniques. Lance sulked a little at the realisation.
So what if he found Keith attractive, and athletic, and actually kinda cool, it wasn't like he would to do anything about it. He was perfectly fine with the way things were before the epic events of last weekend, which, by the way, were still a great mystery to him.
Also what did Pidge try to tell him last time they saw each other at lunch, that Keith wanted to be his friend? As if Keith would ever bother to befriend someone as annoying and clumsy as Lance. But even if it were true Lance had a strong suspicion he would ruin all their prospects for becoming friends because he simply wouldn't be able to see Keith as one. A rival? Sure. A secret crush? Definitely. A friend? No way.
