Author: Hope you'all enjoy this much delayed update.
Ilena pounded back another shot of Jameson, it was the only way she could get through the day.
She despised her lack of control and knew some of the crew was noticing she was not all there. That cut deeply, she was barley holding onto her personal life and now her professional one was chipping away.
Ilena pushed her trailer door open and headed to the set. She still had a job to do.
"Cut, cut, cut! Ilena, what's going on, we want devastated not catatonic – I know you can deliver better than that!" Exclaimed the director.
Even Teresa was throwing concerned glances her way. Ilena shook herself back to reality. The scene had called for a showing of devastation for the loss of a loved one and Ilena had been transported back to when she had last seen her mother alive and weeks later the Winter family would be informed by the authorities that they had found her body. She always lost time when she sunk back to that memory and no doubt Teresa suspected that was where her mind went. And speaking of the devil, Ilena was pretty sure the shadow hovering over her was her highness.
Teresa gently touched Ilena's shoulder. For a second it seemed like Ilena was going to sink into it before she rudely shook Teresa's hand off.
"Don't!" Ilena roughly stated to Teresa before turning to look Teresa straight in the eye.
"Just, don't"
"I don't know why I'm still hung up on her, she's so emotionally damaged and distant. Ever since her mom…"
A silence forms as Teresa stares past her therapist in thought.
"Ever since her mom?' The therapist prompts.
"Hmm…I guess you can say she in some ways is still that girl who was the last living, breathing thing her mother saw before she committed suicide and Ilena never really grieved the loss so she's just stuck."
The therapist jots down notes.
"This is good progress."
"How so?" Asks Theresa.
"Everything you told me up to this point suggests you're stuck as well."
Teresa raised an eyebrow daring him to say something he'd regret.
Coughing uncomfortably the therapist responded, "to be precise the reason you sought me out is your perceived inability to fully open yourself up to anybody and how you sabotage your relationships."
Raki took a deep breath, it was disturbing being in Teresa's presence for a whole host of reasons. But he suspected he'd hear the real reason Teresa sought him out one day.
"Perhaps we're ready to move onto those issues, beginning with your earlier years?" Raki broached gently.
It didn't take long for the light to dim in Teresa's eyes, thinking back to the days at the orphanage was not high on her priority list. Fortunately, at that moment, the clock chimed signaling their hour was up.
Ilena walked out of her trailer, finally make up free and exhausted. She checked her watch; it was close to midnight. A tiny movement to her right caught her eye and made her pause.
Maybe it was the way the figure was standing alone outside the studio lot with the stars sprinkled above. That and the glow from the end of a cigarette. Ilena was like a moth to a flame.
"Can you spare one?" Asked Ilena.
To say Teresa was shocked was an understatement, but she pulled herself together and offered a clove and her trademark faint smile to the newcomer.
"Still smoking Blacks." Ilena remarked as she pulled a drag and looked at Teresa.
Teresa nods in response, afraid to break this fragile truce that Ilena offered.
After a few seconds ticked by, it was clear to both parties that they didn't quite know how to break the silence. Although uncomfortable, it was eerily familiar and brought with it some welcome memories.
"This reminds me of the time you made us search in the dead of winter for a pack of these in New York." Ilena said quietly.
"You said you were a much faster walker and could get these in a breeze, but I insisted we go together." Teresa supplied. At that remark they both smiled at each other briefly, reliving happier times.
Of course with happy memories came with it the sobering ones that had Ilena taking one last drag and putting out her cigarette.
"Yes, well thank you for the cigarette."
Seeing she was losing Ilena fast, Teresa sprung into action.
"Want to get coffee?!"
A little startled by the outburst, Ilena couldn't help but chuckle.
"Coffee at midnight?"
Teresa internally cringed, she knew drinks was too familiar, yep she was going to go with her coffee idea.
"Or hot tea or hot chocolate? The Starbucks around here is open 24/7." Teresa did her best to sell the idea and wasn't above giving her best puppy-dog look.
Ilena had to smile, Teresa could be very persuasive and dare she say cute when she set her heart on something.
"Oh alright, I've been meaning to try their jasmine tea."
Ilena checked her sports watch, which read 42:34. Another 18 minutes to go, Ilena pushed up her pace as she wound through the Hollywood hills. Running was her go to. Rain or shine, Illena was out there.
After last night, she had plenty to think about. Although their conversation was clunky at times and filled with awkward silences, it was nice to sit across from Teresa after all these years and just recognize how far they've both come since their college days. Ilena could also tell that Teresa was struggling to find the right moment to apologize.
At some point Ilena had started to come to terms that they were pretty much kids back then and maybe she was a glutton for punishment, but she was quite curious to know what Teresa had to say for herself.
Thinking back to last night, she had surprised herself when she grabbed Teresa's hand sitting on the coffee table.
"It's okay, we can talk about things another time." Ilena said.
Teresa squeezed the hand back in gratitude and the pair expertly steered the conversation away from the landmines. From there the conversation was light and pleasant.
Ilena still had serious reservations about how close to let Teresa back into her life, but she did promise they'd talk. So they'd talk. Ilena nodded to herself and the idea wasn't bringing on an all too familiar warmth, not at all.
Author: Please review!
