Jake, there are seventeen thousand, three hundred seventy-two Yeerks in this pool, Ax said.
That rocked me.
Visser One had to know we were here, on the loose. He had to run for the bridge and not stay to win the fight in engineering.
Seventeen thousand. Living creatures. Thinking creatures.
How could I give this order? Even for victory. Even to save Rachel.
It was what they deserved. Their choice to come to Earth. Not my fault.
No more than they deserved.
Aliens. Parasites. Subhuman.
My mind was hazy, filled by a constant dull buzzing, drowning out all doubts. I was ready to be ruthless. Ready to give the command that would doom seventeen thousand Yeerks to their deaths. Ready to make the sacrifice of forever living with the consequences of my action... I was ready.
"Flush-" I stopped in midsentence.
Ax looked at me strangely.
Prince Jake?
Why? What stopped me?
Looked at Tobias. He seemed... different, somehow. Not quite himself. Weird. It was the same face, same body, same red-tail that I had seen for three years. But something had changed... Something in his eyes...
Tobias was a predator. Predators don't kill for pleasure or sport, they kill only to eat, to survive.
I wasn't a predator, I told myself. I was the prey. I was the hunted, the Yeerks were the hunters.
But that wasn't it.
It was easy to say that the Yeerks were the predators, when they were infesting and enslaving human beings as unwilling servants of the Yeerk Empire. It was easy to say that they were predators when they were attacking the defenseless, ignorant human population. The Yeerks had been like invisible tigers in a population of grazing animals - unknown, silent, deadly, strong.
But the human population was no longer defenseless or ignorant. Because of one alien.
Because of Elfangor.
Elfangor had given us the power to fight back.
He had given us the morphing power to use the animal bodies of our planet to save ourselves, our species, our planet.
But would he have given it to us if he had known that we were going to slaughter thousands of unhosted Yeerks?
I looked at Cassie, her wolf's eyes were pleading with me, begging me to reconsider, to undo my decision. Strange. If I had just told Ax to flush the pool I would have never noticed her... She hadn't said anything yet...
Cassie had long been the voice of morality in our group. But she had changed... she had given the Yeerks the morphing cube, gave them another weapon to use for destruction, and had begun to question her own morals... What could the rest of us do, when Cassie was questioning herself?
And finally, finally, I heard her voice. The slaughter of seventeen thousand sentient creatures. What kind of person would order that?
This is a necessary diversion, Prince Jake, Ax said somewhat impatiently, but not as though he was responding to Cassie. She had been speaking to me privately. But it was the same to me as a conversation. He was ready, willing, eager to kill the Yeerks. He was a good soldier, ready to put aside ethics and morality in the face of battle and victory.
Couldn't let this happen, another moral discussion. We were so close, time was critical, it wasn't going to stand still for us to have this discussion.
Cassie...
No, Jake. Not yet. Just listen.
Okay.
Everything, all the decisions, the battles, could stop. Just stop.
I listened.
She began to speak. What happened to you, Jake? Cassie spoke to me, calmly. Like old times. Like we were having a talk, just she and I. You said our motto was "Defeat the Yeerks, don't become them." You told James that we had to win to stop the Yeerks from enslaving all life on Earth, and the Andalites from blowing it up. How is you slaughtering defenseless Yeerks any different than the Yeerks or the Andalites?
I didn't say anything. I was too conflicted, too much in inner turmoil.
The war has changed you, Jake. You had to take terrible risks and gambles. You were willing to sacrifice your loved ones. And knowing that you did that, you became darker, somehow. You made a deal with the enemy. You used hundreds of lives as a diversion. All that mattered to you was to win. No matter who died. You were prepared to be as ruthless, as merciless as you needed to be. You lost yourself in the destruction, the tactics, the victories.
It had to happen, Cassie. It's a war...
Don't lose it, Jake. Just because you told Rachel to kill Tom doesn't mean that nothing else matters. All those Yeerks are living, thinking creatures. Just like you and me. Just like Rachel. Just like Tom.
Part of me wanted to argue. Part of me wanted to say, Cassie, we have to win, no matter what. But I looked around the room... at the others... at myself...
Tobias, he had been through so much hardship, losing his family, his humanity. Ax, he hated them so much, his hatred blinded him from thinking clearly, of what he was doing. Marco, the war had done terrible things to him. He had gotten his mother back by being ruthless and nothing, nothing was going to stop him from being ruthless in the future.
Cassie, who knowing me better than I know myself. I didn't want Cassie to let me alone, not this time, not ever again.
Rachel... I had sent Rachel to certain death.
And myself...
I had lost my soul.
Don't you see what you have done, Jake? What you were about to do? Don't you see who you have become? The war has destroyed your humanity. If you slaughter the Yeerks in that pool you will be known forever as Jake the Yeerk-Killer. Believe me, I know... The killing is going to stop sooner or later, but you have the power to stop it -now-. You're ready to sacrifice everyone to win the war. But what good is winning if everyone you know and love has been sacrificed? Don't let the cause take you over, Jake. You're not fighting to win. You are fighting to save Earth. You're fighting for freedom.
Cassie came over and looked into my eyes.
You've fallen into a hole, Jake. You've fallen and the only one who can rescue you is yourself.
I can't get up, Cassie. I've fallen down for the last time.
I can't. I need...
I need you, Cassie.
Where are you, Jake?
I could feel the tremendous weight of decision falling upon me, like it had so many times before. My future, maybe even the outcome of the war, it all tottered on this single point.
Where is the Jake I love?
The haze began to lift...
Cassie and me. Together...
I remembered when I first met Cassie. Rachel had introduced me to her... Now Rachel was going to die. I remembered all the times she hugged me, had held my hand.
I remembered when she kissed me, just after I had caused the death of that Howler. She was always balancing out destruction with love...
That night I had tried to dream about Cassie, but even now, looking into her eyes, I still saw the doomed Howler falling, falling into an abyss. Just like me... Cassie had said that I had fallen into a hole... a darkness.
The Howlers didn't know what they were doing, they thought that murder and killing was just a game. They didn't know that they were destroying the lives of so many sentient creatures... But I had redeemed them. We showed the Howlers the true results of their 'game', and the meaning of love...
Looking into her eyes, the flailing Howler, facing death, facing an evil it couldn't comprehend, began to change.
The lava skin seemed to melt even more. The Howler's skin became soft, smooth, its body shrinking slightly. It shapeshifted, pupils forming in its eyes. Morphing to human.
Becoming me.
The Howlers had been saved, had been pulled out of the well of ignorance, had been drawn out of the hole.
I know he's in there somewhere.
The clouds parted. The light shone through.
I was saved.
I was back.
Time sped up.
Cassie turned to Ax. Deactivate the flush sequence, Ax.
There was a brief silence as Ax processed this, unbelieving.
What?! He turned to her, shocked. These are the enemies-
We're not touching those Yeerks, Cassie commanded firmly.
Prince Ja-
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, you heard what Cassie said. The visser knows we are attacking the bridge. We've created enough diversion, fought enough battles. I was his Prince. I was a soldier in a terrible war. I would fight. I would do what I could to win. But I would not slaughter thousands of sentient creatures. They weren't the evil overlords, choosing to doom all of Earth to subjugation. I knew best, you couldn't blame the many for the actions of the one.
In this case, Visser One.
Ax was stunned. Yes, Prince Jake.
A good aspect of a soldier: Ax knew how to take an order.
Come on, Ax, Marco, Tobias, to the bridge. We're done here.
If we were human I would have taken Cassie's arm and hugged her tightly and never, ever let go. But she was a wolf and I was a tiger.
For now, there was only one thing that I could do.
Let's go, Cassie, I said. I love you.
And that was enough.
*****
We arrived at the bridge.
The Animorphs.
Visser One was there, waiting for us, our old adversary. We knew he would be.
He watched the blade ship approaching us. So, he said softly, still not dead.
No, Visser. Not quite dead.
As you see, my Blade ship is approaching.
I don't think they'll be much help to you, Visser.
No. It took me a while to see what had happened. But I see it now. The Blade ship will attack, and I am helpless. Animorphs, he said with hatred, I have lost, not to you, but to this Yeerk traitor. I would never lose to you. Only to another Yeerk, and then only by the lowest treason.
I was going to suggest to him that he use the Dracon beams' remaining power to disable the Blade Ship. But something stopped me.
Visser One's entire being seemed to vibrate. He seemed to be amassing his old hatred within him.
He turned to face us, a horrible expression on his Andalite face. Sensors show that you have been in the Pool Room. You disabled the guards and deactivated the safety protocols for the flush procedure. You had the opportunity to wipe out the bulk of the Yeerk race!
He was nearly screaming. But you didn't! You didn't! Soft, sentimental FOOLS! This is WAR! You don't win by sparing the lives of the ENEMY!
We basically stood still, not quite knowing what to do.
"Visser, the Blade Ship is hailing us."
Yes, by all means, Visser One said, his manner changing, but his hatred and rage still present. We must play it out, he said sarcastically.
Tom's face appeared on the screen, his voice speaking to the visser. But he was controlled by a Yeerk.
How much agony could Tom be in, thinking that the Blade ship was about to crush its final foe? Knowing that the Yeerks were about to win?
Tom's face betrayed no hint that his body was being controlled by a Yeerk, no evidence of conflict, of a struggle between host and parasite. The Yeerk was in complete control of Tom's body and voice.
At least, it was then.
"Visser," Tom gloated. "You seem to be experiencing some engine trouble." Tom seemed a little rocked at the Visser's mood but he kept his cool.
The Empire will track you down and kill you, if I have not done so myself, I hope you understand.
"Oh, I doubt it. I think the Empire will have its hands full," Tom's Yeerk said. "The Andalite fleet is rather close by. It's possible that I misled you on that point."
He was practically giggling. He was in control. He had already won the final victory.
And then he saw me.
His eyes widened, his face showing nothing but shock and surprise.
All at once, he knew.
"You're not dead!" he gasped.
I noticed, Visser One said dryly, but with barely concealed emotion.
Tom snapped an order to his crew. "Target the Pool ship's bridge! Do it now! Blow their ship apart!"
I looked at Tobias. I couldn't tell what he was feeling by his hawk face.
But I could guess.
And now, Animorphs, the visser said, so softly that none of us registered his voice, You will learn the true meaning of slaughter.
Visser One began to change.
Rachel... I said, unaware of the growing danger behind me, Go.
That rocked me.
Visser One had to know we were here, on the loose. He had to run for the bridge and not stay to win the fight in engineering.
Seventeen thousand. Living creatures. Thinking creatures.
How could I give this order? Even for victory. Even to save Rachel.
It was what they deserved. Their choice to come to Earth. Not my fault.
No more than they deserved.
Aliens. Parasites. Subhuman.
My mind was hazy, filled by a constant dull buzzing, drowning out all doubts. I was ready to be ruthless. Ready to give the command that would doom seventeen thousand Yeerks to their deaths. Ready to make the sacrifice of forever living with the consequences of my action... I was ready.
"Flush-" I stopped in midsentence.
Ax looked at me strangely.
Prince Jake?
Why? What stopped me?
Looked at Tobias. He seemed... different, somehow. Not quite himself. Weird. It was the same face, same body, same red-tail that I had seen for three years. But something had changed... Something in his eyes...
Tobias was a predator. Predators don't kill for pleasure or sport, they kill only to eat, to survive.
I wasn't a predator, I told myself. I was the prey. I was the hunted, the Yeerks were the hunters.
But that wasn't it.
It was easy to say that the Yeerks were the predators, when they were infesting and enslaving human beings as unwilling servants of the Yeerk Empire. It was easy to say that they were predators when they were attacking the defenseless, ignorant human population. The Yeerks had been like invisible tigers in a population of grazing animals - unknown, silent, deadly, strong.
But the human population was no longer defenseless or ignorant. Because of one alien.
Because of Elfangor.
Elfangor had given us the power to fight back.
He had given us the morphing power to use the animal bodies of our planet to save ourselves, our species, our planet.
But would he have given it to us if he had known that we were going to slaughter thousands of unhosted Yeerks?
I looked at Cassie, her wolf's eyes were pleading with me, begging me to reconsider, to undo my decision. Strange. If I had just told Ax to flush the pool I would have never noticed her... She hadn't said anything yet...
Cassie had long been the voice of morality in our group. But she had changed... she had given the Yeerks the morphing cube, gave them another weapon to use for destruction, and had begun to question her own morals... What could the rest of us do, when Cassie was questioning herself?
And finally, finally, I heard her voice. The slaughter of seventeen thousand sentient creatures. What kind of person would order that?
This is a necessary diversion, Prince Jake, Ax said somewhat impatiently, but not as though he was responding to Cassie. She had been speaking to me privately. But it was the same to me as a conversation. He was ready, willing, eager to kill the Yeerks. He was a good soldier, ready to put aside ethics and morality in the face of battle and victory.
Couldn't let this happen, another moral discussion. We were so close, time was critical, it wasn't going to stand still for us to have this discussion.
Cassie...
No, Jake. Not yet. Just listen.
Okay.
Everything, all the decisions, the battles, could stop. Just stop.
I listened.
She began to speak. What happened to you, Jake? Cassie spoke to me, calmly. Like old times. Like we were having a talk, just she and I. You said our motto was "Defeat the Yeerks, don't become them." You told James that we had to win to stop the Yeerks from enslaving all life on Earth, and the Andalites from blowing it up. How is you slaughtering defenseless Yeerks any different than the Yeerks or the Andalites?
I didn't say anything. I was too conflicted, too much in inner turmoil.
The war has changed you, Jake. You had to take terrible risks and gambles. You were willing to sacrifice your loved ones. And knowing that you did that, you became darker, somehow. You made a deal with the enemy. You used hundreds of lives as a diversion. All that mattered to you was to win. No matter who died. You were prepared to be as ruthless, as merciless as you needed to be. You lost yourself in the destruction, the tactics, the victories.
It had to happen, Cassie. It's a war...
Don't lose it, Jake. Just because you told Rachel to kill Tom doesn't mean that nothing else matters. All those Yeerks are living, thinking creatures. Just like you and me. Just like Rachel. Just like Tom.
Part of me wanted to argue. Part of me wanted to say, Cassie, we have to win, no matter what. But I looked around the room... at the others... at myself...
Tobias, he had been through so much hardship, losing his family, his humanity. Ax, he hated them so much, his hatred blinded him from thinking clearly, of what he was doing. Marco, the war had done terrible things to him. He had gotten his mother back by being ruthless and nothing, nothing was going to stop him from being ruthless in the future.
Cassie, who knowing me better than I know myself. I didn't want Cassie to let me alone, not this time, not ever again.
Rachel... I had sent Rachel to certain death.
And myself...
I had lost my soul.
Don't you see what you have done, Jake? What you were about to do? Don't you see who you have become? The war has destroyed your humanity. If you slaughter the Yeerks in that pool you will be known forever as Jake the Yeerk-Killer. Believe me, I know... The killing is going to stop sooner or later, but you have the power to stop it -now-. You're ready to sacrifice everyone to win the war. But what good is winning if everyone you know and love has been sacrificed? Don't let the cause take you over, Jake. You're not fighting to win. You are fighting to save Earth. You're fighting for freedom.
Cassie came over and looked into my eyes.
You've fallen into a hole, Jake. You've fallen and the only one who can rescue you is yourself.
I can't get up, Cassie. I've fallen down for the last time.
I can't. I need...
I need you, Cassie.
Where are you, Jake?
I could feel the tremendous weight of decision falling upon me, like it had so many times before. My future, maybe even the outcome of the war, it all tottered on this single point.
Where is the Jake I love?
The haze began to lift...
Cassie and me. Together...
I remembered when I first met Cassie. Rachel had introduced me to her... Now Rachel was going to die. I remembered all the times she hugged me, had held my hand.
I remembered when she kissed me, just after I had caused the death of that Howler. She was always balancing out destruction with love...
That night I had tried to dream about Cassie, but even now, looking into her eyes, I still saw the doomed Howler falling, falling into an abyss. Just like me... Cassie had said that I had fallen into a hole... a darkness.
The Howlers didn't know what they were doing, they thought that murder and killing was just a game. They didn't know that they were destroying the lives of so many sentient creatures... But I had redeemed them. We showed the Howlers the true results of their 'game', and the meaning of love...
Looking into her eyes, the flailing Howler, facing death, facing an evil it couldn't comprehend, began to change.
The lava skin seemed to melt even more. The Howler's skin became soft, smooth, its body shrinking slightly. It shapeshifted, pupils forming in its eyes. Morphing to human.
Becoming me.
The Howlers had been saved, had been pulled out of the well of ignorance, had been drawn out of the hole.
I know he's in there somewhere.
The clouds parted. The light shone through.
I was saved.
I was back.
Time sped up.
Cassie turned to Ax. Deactivate the flush sequence, Ax.
There was a brief silence as Ax processed this, unbelieving.
What?! He turned to her, shocked. These are the enemies-
We're not touching those Yeerks, Cassie commanded firmly.
Prince Ja-
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, you heard what Cassie said. The visser knows we are attacking the bridge. We've created enough diversion, fought enough battles. I was his Prince. I was a soldier in a terrible war. I would fight. I would do what I could to win. But I would not slaughter thousands of sentient creatures. They weren't the evil overlords, choosing to doom all of Earth to subjugation. I knew best, you couldn't blame the many for the actions of the one.
In this case, Visser One.
Ax was stunned. Yes, Prince Jake.
A good aspect of a soldier: Ax knew how to take an order.
Come on, Ax, Marco, Tobias, to the bridge. We're done here.
If we were human I would have taken Cassie's arm and hugged her tightly and never, ever let go. But she was a wolf and I was a tiger.
For now, there was only one thing that I could do.
Let's go, Cassie, I said. I love you.
And that was enough.
*****
We arrived at the bridge.
The Animorphs.
Visser One was there, waiting for us, our old adversary. We knew he would be.
He watched the blade ship approaching us. So, he said softly, still not dead.
No, Visser. Not quite dead.
As you see, my Blade ship is approaching.
I don't think they'll be much help to you, Visser.
No. It took me a while to see what had happened. But I see it now. The Blade ship will attack, and I am helpless. Animorphs, he said with hatred, I have lost, not to you, but to this Yeerk traitor. I would never lose to you. Only to another Yeerk, and then only by the lowest treason.
I was going to suggest to him that he use the Dracon beams' remaining power to disable the Blade Ship. But something stopped me.
Visser One's entire being seemed to vibrate. He seemed to be amassing his old hatred within him.
He turned to face us, a horrible expression on his Andalite face. Sensors show that you have been in the Pool Room. You disabled the guards and deactivated the safety protocols for the flush procedure. You had the opportunity to wipe out the bulk of the Yeerk race!
He was nearly screaming. But you didn't! You didn't! Soft, sentimental FOOLS! This is WAR! You don't win by sparing the lives of the ENEMY!
We basically stood still, not quite knowing what to do.
"Visser, the Blade Ship is hailing us."
Yes, by all means, Visser One said, his manner changing, but his hatred and rage still present. We must play it out, he said sarcastically.
Tom's face appeared on the screen, his voice speaking to the visser. But he was controlled by a Yeerk.
How much agony could Tom be in, thinking that the Blade ship was about to crush its final foe? Knowing that the Yeerks were about to win?
Tom's face betrayed no hint that his body was being controlled by a Yeerk, no evidence of conflict, of a struggle between host and parasite. The Yeerk was in complete control of Tom's body and voice.
At least, it was then.
"Visser," Tom gloated. "You seem to be experiencing some engine trouble." Tom seemed a little rocked at the Visser's mood but he kept his cool.
The Empire will track you down and kill you, if I have not done so myself, I hope you understand.
"Oh, I doubt it. I think the Empire will have its hands full," Tom's Yeerk said. "The Andalite fleet is rather close by. It's possible that I misled you on that point."
He was practically giggling. He was in control. He had already won the final victory.
And then he saw me.
His eyes widened, his face showing nothing but shock and surprise.
All at once, he knew.
"You're not dead!" he gasped.
I noticed, Visser One said dryly, but with barely concealed emotion.
Tom snapped an order to his crew. "Target the Pool ship's bridge! Do it now! Blow their ship apart!"
I looked at Tobias. I couldn't tell what he was feeling by his hawk face.
But I could guess.
And now, Animorphs, the visser said, so softly that none of us registered his voice, You will learn the true meaning of slaughter.
Visser One began to change.
Rachel... I said, unaware of the growing danger behind me, Go.
