A/N I'm sooooo sorry about the wait, things have been super crazy lately but that's no excuse for how long it has been since I updated. I will try harder I promise, please bear with me.
Lullaby For Nightmares
Jade's POV
The drive-way is dark, the streetlights broken, and twisting shadows swim at the edge of my vision as I walk towards the R.V. The night is dead silent, as if some predator were stalking nearby, just waiting for the the chance to strike. No light burns in the windows of the R.V., either; and it stands just as silent. Something is wrong here, very, very wrong. My hand shakes as I reach for the handle of the door, my body moving slowly like I'm trapped in thick syrup. The door opens easily and the darkness beyond looks like the empty void I know Hell to be.
And it's not quiet anymore, not inside.
There's a hideous crunching, snapping sound that I recognize but refuse to allow myself to acknowledge. I step into the vehicle, all trace of slowness gone. There's something here that I need to see, and something here that WANTS me to see it too. Despite the surety of my steps, my whole body trembles as if it knows what I'll see shortly. I reach out and touch the light switch, flipping it up and light floods the darkness, banishing the shadows. It's wonderful to be out of the dark...for the half second it takes for me to see what was making the sounds. Then I can't un-see it and I wish feverishly for the shadows to hide this awfulness again.
His back is to me, crouched over someone's body, a spreading pool of blood in a crimson circle at his feet. The man turns and I see his face. Dead eyes, waxen tan skin, and a wide, terrible smile. It's Beck. And, as if he can tell that I recognize him, he smiles wider, the blood dripping from his mouth down his chin. He turns back around and suddenly there's a wet, sickening squelch. He stands and turns,allowing me to see the body. It's mine, my chest ripped open, my blood all over his floor. He holds his hand out, offering something to me. I tear my eyes away from the sight of my mangled body, anything was better than looking at that...right?
Wrong.
He's holding my heart in his hand. I back away, stumbling in my haste and he shrugs lifting my still beating heart to his mouth. As he bites into it, I start screaming.
I wake screaming, sitting straight up in bed, my heart beating a mile a minute and I jump as a pair of warm arms wrap around me. I panic, still not fully done with the dream but the arms hold me in place, rocking me gently until the panic subsides.
"Jade, are you okay?"
I don't trust myself to speak yet so I just nod. Tori lays us back down, never letting go of me. I can feel the tears building again and I choke them back but I shudder in her arms and of course Tori notices.
"It was about him wasn't it? Sorry, you don't have to answer that."
She doesn't say anything else, she just holds me closer and that strange, safe feeling closes over me again like it did when I arrived on her doorstep. Then she starts to sing softly:
"I like your smile
But even introductions need to last awhile
Sometimes I don't know if I'm right or wrong
And in the end it seems like everything is worse when you're gone
There is no upper hand
I'm giving you mine
It doesn't have to end up wasting your time
There's things that I could say
But hear it my way
I want to let you know that it's all okay
So there you are
Mistakenly mistaken for a deeper scar
A hole in your heart
And the same for me
Is everything you touch keeping you down
or setting you free
There is no upper hand
I'm giving you mine
It doesn't have to end up wasting your time
There's things that I could say
But hear it my way
I want to let you know that it's all okay
Shelter my eyes from the sun
And wait for the birds to fly by
Trying to reach every one
And know what you're feeling inside
Deep in my head now it's like a dream goodbye
There is no upper hand
I'm giving you mine
It doesn't have to end up wasting your time
There's things that I could say
But hear it my way
I want to let you know that it's all okay
Want to let you know that it's all okay
Want to let you know
That it's all okay"
Her voice pushes back the worst of pain and I master my emotions and slip back into sleep, something that might have been impossible if I was alone. I fell, thankfully, into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Voices outside of Tori's door eventually rouse me, and groggily I notice that she's no longer laying beside me. I look at the window and see that it has stopped raining but it's still dark out, maybe one or two in the morning. I shake the sleepiness from my head and listen.
"Don't you think that it would be better for her to go to her parents' house, Tori?"
"You're not listening, Dad! Her dad threw her out, that's why she was living with... him in the first place. And then he went and did this to her, she trusted him! Ugh, it just pisses me off!"
"Language, Tori!"
"Sorry, Mom. Look, Jade's my friend, she has nowhere else to go, and she's having a really tough time right now. It's not like we don't have a guest room so please, just let her stay here, please? She needs someone to help her, she needs to know that not everyone is like her father or Beck, that we're not all gonna toss her out on the street."
"Okay, okay, you win Tori."
"She was always going to, where do you think she got that generosity from?"
"Thank you, thank you so much, both of you!"
I hear footsteps as Tori's parents retreat downstairs and then she opens the door. She lays back down next to me and drapes an arm protectively across my waist and it hits me that I haven't once objected to her touching me since I showed up on her doorstep. Normally I would have avoided this like the black plague, but it feels good, right. Is this what real friendship is? Or am I just using Tori to make myself feel better? That thought bothers me, and that's just as strange as me liking her touch. Somewhere along the way, without me ever seeing it happen, Tori changed from someone I tolerated to someone I trusted.
With those thoughts and Tori's arm wrapped around me, I drifted back to sleep.
End Notes: All rights to Okay go to Backhouse Mike, I don't own it at all. I really liked this chapter, it took forever to get it right. Let me know what you think about it. Hit that beautiful review button. You know you want to...
