The WB sketch show

Chapter 3-cooking with Minerva

(Setting- the ACME lab test kitchen.

Minerva dressed as a chef and standing behind a table full of ingredients, Mime is holding cue cards, Hello Nurse is standing with a camera, Ralph the Guard is standing far behind, holding a fire extinguisher, just in case, and the Warners are far behind Minerva, holding a laptop computer.)

Minerva: "Hi, and welcome to my cooking show. And today we will cook...what? I can't see your card."

Mime: (holding a card with the words "You're making cantaloupe salad and donuts, for god's sake!" written on it)

Minerva: "So today we're making cantaloupe salad, donuts and god's sake!"

Mime: "Can you please just start, for crying out loud?"

Minerva: "Ok. So...how to make cantaloupe salad? Cut an avocado to small pieces, cut an onion and deep fry until it becomes brown. Dry the rice, add it to the oil and fry the soup powder in small pieces. Put the mushrooms and the strawberries in a circle on the plate. Add some corn, throw away the pistachios and mix the pomegranates and the flour in the bowl. Pick a smiling eggplant, so it won't be too nervous..."

One of the oranges on the table: "Hey, if you want an eggplant take that purple one from the first chapter! Hahahahahahaha!"

Minerva: (cuts the orange) "Let's go on. Cut it to small-small-small pieces, backward and not forward like we usually do at home. Cut the garlic, the carrot and the celery and fry together. Wash the cauliflower and cook half an hour over small fire. Add spices. Add some parsley, some bell pepper and some...simonelia, for the good look. And that's how you make cantaloupe salad."

Nurse: "Cantaloupe salad without cantaloupes...that's...interesting."

Mime: "That will save the studios lots of money."

Minerva: "And now- the donuts. The ingredients- 1 cup of milk, a packet of yeast, 2 cups of flour, and quarter a cup of sugar. Just mix all of the ingredients..."

(She puts the ingredients into a large bowl, without minding the fact she threw the yeast with its' plastic bag, and the other ingredients with the cups)

"Now, make balls from the dough, flat them a little bit, and fry them."

(She fries the dough balls)

"...And now, to make the holes, just throw them in the air- and shoot them!"

(She takes a gun and shoots the donuts, making them officially donuts)

"And now, if you don't want them glazed, just eat them. I'll just take a donut and...EW! WHY IS IT SALTY?"

Mime: "Please don't tell me you put salt instead of sugar."

Nurse: "We'll need lots of glazing."

Minerva: "I know. That's why I bought the brand new Acme glaze-o-matic 3000! Let's try this one..."

(Tries to shoot glazing at the donuts. The cannon accidentally rotates and fires a huge lump of glazing on Minerva's face, and throws some even at Hello Nurse and Ralph.)

Minerva: "I wonder what went wrong."

Mime: "I wonder what went right. This show's a disaster! Who wants to see a chef who makes cantaloupe salad without cantaloupes and salty donuts without glazing?"

Dot: "Around 60% of the viewers in Burbank and Acme Acres."

Mime: "What?"

Yakko: "This show is a hit!"

Mime: "Uh...Minerva, do you want to sign here for 5000 episodes?"

Minerva: "Sure!"