The blade glittered inches from my wrist,
"Do it" taunted the voice in my head "You know its for the best, Jasper doesn't want you, Rose hates you so dose Emmett, why bother? Not a single person in the world would care if you die. Just do it. One quick cut and its over."
I shook harder than I ever imagined possible, the voice became angry
"Do it! Your WORTHLESS, No one cares, not even your mother cared enough to stay" The voice turned into Edwards drawl "She was just as worthless as you, something you'll both always have in common, your worthless."
Gripping the plastic handle tightly I inched the blade towards my wrist
"Yes" hissed Edwards voice between my ears "spill your blood, save me the job of doing it later"
I closed my eyes, the blade now centimeters away, something inside me snapped and my eyes jerked open as I threw the knife across the room, What was I thinking?
I lay back on my bed, sobbing heavily staring at the knife, pinning one of my favourite child hood teddy's to the wall, exactly over where its heart would have been.
Things where no better, but they were also no worse, my awkward-weirdness still insured that I had only three friends in the whole world, only one of them knowing about my secret life, Jasper, My Knight in black hoody and Chucks. He was the only one who'd understand, having escaped his Step-Fathers abuse years before, running away with his mother.
Rosalie and Emmett knew nothing of my life, which was surprising due to my knowledge of theirs, Rose, my best friend of 14 years, blond, beautiful and troubled, Emmett her bear of a boyfriend, who, despite looking as though he'd break with just one flick of his giant fingers, would never hurt a fly, he was perfect for Rose, she needed his care.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
I can't remember the first time I met Rose, we would only have been 2 maybe 3 years old. Rose was the complete opposite of me, loud,bossy and pretty, to my quiet, meek and plain, But it was obvious from the beginning that we were going to be best friends.
Rose had the life I always wanted, a loving family who'd do anything for her, no matter what. More friends than I could ever dream of having, and a boyfriend who waited on her hand and foot. What I thought of as the perfect life.
What Rose thought of as hell.
Rose had always been skinny, its just the way we accepted her to be, tall and skinny, like a model.
But when we were 13 things started to change, Rose suddenly got thinner, her face became drawn and she turned the palest I think I'd ever seen a person go. she wasn't the same old Rosalie I'd grown to love, she was snappy, she went against everything her family said, running away for days at a time, as a small "escape from the boring day to day" she said. She started seeing older guys and stopped seeing her friends, I felt like I'd lost my world.
It'd been 3 weeks since I'd last heard from Rose when her mother rang me, I'll never forget that call.
"Alice, is that you?" Esme's normally confident voice shook as she whispered down the phone "Its Rosie, she's in hospital, shes been..."
The sound of Esme gasping for hallow breath down the phone is one of the single most terrifying things I've ever heard.
".. raped Alice. We don't know what happened, but some policeman found her curled up in an alleyway unconscious, they think someones drugged her then attacked. She was covered in blood. They brought her here and called us. But there's more, the doctors want to talk to you too, you were always around Rose, they think she may be anorexic. Carlisle's coming to pick you up now to bring you here, I'll see you soon honey"
Without letting me speak she hung up the phone. I let the piece of plastic and metal drop out of my hand onto the floor, too shocked to say anything.
Pulling on my chucks I ran outside to wait for Carlisle, not bothering to tell Edward where I was going, a mistake I'd pay for later.
There was a tense silence between Carlisle and I the whole way to the hospital and during the run up to Rose's room. I guess he resented me for dragging him away from his daughters bedside, or for the fact that I should have stopped all these things from happening to her, that I hadn't protected her.
But how was I to know.
Esme's face was lined with worry and streaked with tears. She pulled me close to her, holding onto me as she sobbed into my hair.
"The doctors need to talk to you about whether Rose was eating around you or in school, they say that her weight is below 6 stone, we could still lose her. She's extremely malnourished." Esme raised her palms to her face and pressed them to her eyes. "I just can't understand how this could happen, she always ate when we fed her, when she was there...." her voice trailed away thinking about the rest of Rose's ordeal. She broke down completely, falling to the floor and screaming.
This was something no mother, farther, brother, sister, daughter, son, best friend or any person in the world should have to go though.
It was a sign of the harsh reality of Rose's new life, a 13 year old hanging around with 20 somethings was bound to be trouble, but no one knew it would end this badly.
Rose grew better in time, physically, she wouldn't speak of what happened, even if she could remember. She hardly spoke at all as they pumped her full of drugs and liquid food.
It was at least a month later that she spoke, it was only me and her in the room. She turned her head to look at me slightly, her eyes semi open.
"Alice, I miss you"
I knew exactly what she meant, Rose had been so different for so long, we'd drifted apart, no matter how much time I'd spent in the hospital with her, we just weren't us anymore. We'd lost our spark.
Rose got better mentally over time too, but she still hasn't returned to the old fun, bubbly, every body's best friend Rose, nor had she become the 'I don't give a fuck' Rose she'd been for all those months. She was my Rosie again, there when I needed her, as I was for her.
She's still not completely recovered almost four years later. Emmett came onto the scene as a friend the same year as she went into hospital, but became more within the next two years, He'll always be extremely over protective of Rose, as we all are. But this suit's her fine. She knows she needs us just as much as we need her, and that's just fine.
AN. I'm REALLY sorry this took so long to update! The explanations on my page if you really care why it took so long :P
R&R If you want some more, let me know what you think!
