A/N First of all, thanks a lot for all those who have left reviews, they help me a lot. Second of all, English is not my mother tongue and I might make grammatical mistakes, so sorry about that. Lastly, this concept is very close to my heart and to wave it around Ross and Rachel who happen to be one of my favorite couples, means a lot to me. So, do leave your reviews to let me know what you think of this story in general and this chapter.
**Angel's first Birthday - part 1 (Rachel's POV contd.)**
I am nervous about tomorrow. My baby's first birthday! I want everything to be perfect for her, the way she made it for me and Ross.
Two years back, before Angel was conceived, I and Ross had hit a rough patch in our marriage. There was no particular reason to pinpoint, but the effect it had on us was too hard to ignore. In the initial days, I thought it was one of our usual fights, the way we used to make mountain out of a molehill and did not do much to talk about it. We would leave too much on our destiny to solve it for us. However we did not have this phase since "I got off the plane". Yes, we had minor conflicts and disagreements like a normal couple but none was this serious. We had this uncomfortable silence between us that nobody knew how to break. That time Emma was in primary school and Ryan and Chris almost ready to start theirs. Most of my time was consumed by my job at D & G (Dolce and Gubbana) and kids, while Ross would stay occupied with his work on that research paper he intended to publish. We almost forgot that we needed each others time too and it was so hard to go on like that. Our kids and jobs consumed so much of us that we hardly tried to acknowledge each other. Now I think of it and I know we were just struggling to tackle the situation in our own way but did not know how to come out of it. A certain "D" word started to bang on my mind, those papers he got me to sign few years ago started to dance in front of my eyes. I got terrified to even imagine going through it now. Something was telling me to hold on and I was sure even Ross would not want to face it for the fourth time in his life!
In between all this, came the news of Amy's marriage. I had almost forgotten that both my sisters were still unmarried until I got a call from her. She met this guy at Daddy's office (duh-uh) and from what she told, he seemed very decent. The only issue was, wedding was at Napa Valley, California (A/N – if you are still unmarried, think of this place as a potential marriage location! It's worth it). Chris had just recovered from chickenpox and Emma was not ready to take leaves from school. Ultimately it was decided that I and Ross would attend the wedding and Ryan would come along while Monica will take care of Emma and Chris. I was not very sure about attending this wedding, leaving behind my baby who was still recovering from pox. However Monica insisted that I and Ross needed some time alone and we could use this as an opportunity. Little did she know about the turmoil I was facing in my marriage. I wish I could thank her enough for making me attend that wedding and thank Amy enough for getting married at that beautiful location. We literally forgot the reason why we were not on talking terms (there was no real reason to begin with, but anyway). Call it the magic of the serene site or the happy vibes around us, our relationship got a revival and how! In that one week, we had countless moments (Yes the ones Phoebs keeps teasing me about), our own "eye contacts" and boy, did our eyes speak volumes? When we were helping daddy in supervising the final arrangements, when we were getting Ryan ready for rehearsal dinner, when we saw Amy and Tyler (her then fiancé) take their marriage vows, we re-realized something that was never really gone. And that was our love for each other, our love which made us "US", a unit! We had blissful time after that, even after we returned from the wedding. My friends kept teasing me on how I was glowing since I attended the wedding. It made me blush a little more and feel my eyes watering. Lately I was doing a lot of that, getting all emotional. Not that I was not emotional one to start with. oh well.
A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. It was unexpected but I felt happy. The feeling of being a mother again itself was so overwhelming that I almost forgot, my husband was still unaware about this impending happiness that was ready to enter our home. I was unsure about Ross's reaction. After Chris and Ryan, we decided not to have any more children. It made us plan better financially as well as parenting-wise. But now that this had happened, and I already got involved with it, I wanted Ross to accept it too.
Finally that night, I gathered enough courage to tell him about it. I had just taken evening shower, and Ross was already on the bed, reading! I walked unto him, he did not notice. I kept my left hand on his shoulder to pull his attention.
"Hey you" he cooed.
"Ross, I have something to tell you."
He smiled mischievously and said "don't tell me you are pregnant"
I had very little to answer to that. So I just took his hand and kept it on my abdomen, where our little Angel was supposed to be.
"What if I say, I am"
He just kept looking at me. It was very different from the freeze moment he had seven years ago, Emma's time. Now, he just locked his gaze with me, trying to tell me something, ask me something, and convey something. And then he leaned forward and gave me a most passionate kiss which was borderline of being surreal. No more talking needed. I got my answers, he got his!
Appointment with Dr. Long proved that I was eight weeks along. We were surprised and really happy. However we decided not to break the news till I complete first three months. As they say, pregnancy in late thirties is always risky.
Few days later, I was sitting in the cabin of obstetrician; she was checking my latest sonogram.
"Why is your husband not with you today?" she asked.
"Oh, he wanted to, but he had something unavoidable coming up at work and so he could not." I tell the truth. I was missing Ross myself, but something in her voice got me more worried.
"Can you visit me tomorrow along with your husband again? I need to talk him too." I nodded and came out of the room.
The whole day and next morning, I was freaking out. I was really worried what it could be and so was Ross. We thought of different possibilities. Maybe it was twins again, or triplets? Oh my god that would be one hell of a test of our parenthood. However the next day got us a news that changed our lives forever.
"Ross, Rachel, you need to have patience and faith on me and our medical science when I say this. I studied you last month's sonogram and the latest ones and I think there is something abnormal with your baby's growth. There are chances of this baby being physically disabled and even have other complications at the time of birth. If my knowledge is enough, I can say the chances of this baby's survival are less in any case. So I would suggest you to terminate this pregnancy"
There, she said it. in one minute my world turned upside down. I felt like someone poured hot liquid iron in my ears. Terminate the pregnancy? Kill my baby? No, I would never do that. I turned to Ross. He was numb, tears flowing through his eyes continuously. The doctor left us alone to discuss. I had to know what Ross think. I had to know if he stood beside me to have the baby even if its chances of survival were 1%!
