NeonDomino; you cute little impatient thing, you! Here's the third chapter, just for you. And for all other readers, of course.. Thanks for the reviews, favourites and followers so far! I'm sure we can do even better if we really try!

I'm working up on something and it's gonna be different than what I'm used to so I hope it works out alright. There's a lot more going on behind the scenes than in the actual story and I'm not used to that!

the entire way home, his head was filled with that voice. He wasn't sure why it enticed him the way it did. One explanation was he just wasn't used getting addressed in such a calm and kind matter. The other explanation was something he wasn't sure he was ready to think of. It was ridiculous, really. They had engaged in conversation for what, three minutes? Pastor Lupin was a kind man, he was sure of that. But first of all he was nothing more than a voice. And second of all, he was a pastor. The voice of the church, spokesman of God so to say. A person who pretty much resembled everything he didn't believe in.

But the more he told himself this was ridiculous, impossible and probably not true, the less he noticed the streaking cold of the long way home. As if something secretly had gotten under his skin, resting there to grow into something bigger he wasn't sure he was ready for. And whatever it was that had found itself a home there, it made the house he lived in look even more gloom and cold when he finally reached it. Perhaps it always head been or perhaps he was just exaggerating (something he was rather good at to be honest) but he was sure dark clouds packed over his head the moment his fingers touched the cold snakelike door-knocker. Matching, the three knocks sounding like thunder. All that was missing was some dramatic rain, lightning and a hunchback minion. He was sure the latter could be arranged.

A little, hunched man opened the door.
Ta da.
'Master Black.' He mumbled as he bowed and opened the door.
'Kreacher.' Sirius mumbled back with matching disregard to the servant. They had never gotten along. Kreacher thought he was an abomination to his family. Sirius thought Kreacher was a pretentious, whiny little bitch.
Behind the ugly little servant stood Walburga Black, her small but stern form waiting for him, arms crossed in front of her and it was in that moment Sirius realised something was amiss. Not with her. With him. He hadn't received his atonement. Sirius cursed under his breath. He was so caught up in the conversation he completely forgot what he was actually there for. As had Pastor Lupin, though. It wasn't entirely his fault.

'Well?' She asked impatiently and Sirius' head started racing. She wouldn't know about the other things he did. The lying, the alcohol. But she did know about the shampoo and his pink brother. (He had a hard time not laughing when he remembered the look Regulus had given him. It hadn't been panic. It had been a glare that meant nothing more than Really. It was meant for his mother..)

'Fifty.' He said, hoping she wouldn't catch the slight insecure tremor in his voice.
'Fifty? For what you did to your brother?' The voice screeched through his head. It seemed even more harsh and unpleasant with pastor Lupin's voice still fluttering through his head like an annoyingly resilient but pretty little butterfly.
Sirius just shrugged. He was a pretty good liar but at this moment also a distracted one and he wasn't sure how much more he could say without sounding in doubt.
'Fine. Go.' She motioned upstairs and Sirius was on his way to the stairs when she spoke again. 'And when you're done, wait for your father.'
Something sank in his stomach. His father had been gone for a few days on business and so he was convinced he'd gotten off the hook for the shampoo prank. Apparently that had been wishful thinking of the best kind.
'I can't hear you.' His mother shouted from downstairs and with a shaky sigh he sank down on his knees and started his fifty prayers. It was complete bullshit.

By the time he was done, the amount of prayers that had left his mouth were closer to a 100 than 50. His mother made him re-do the prayer if he made a mistake and today he made many. He couldn't stop thinking about the voice. How much he'd love to hear it again. To feel safe for a little while. On the other hand he was not looking forward sitting down on the hard bench after his father's visit. He wasn't sure how bad he would take it, having a pink son. But he couldn't imagine it would be good.
'Done.' He finally shouted downstairs but the response that came wasn't from his mother and came from a lot closer than he expected.
'Good.' A voice spoke, more tired than angry. He looked up to see an older, slightly less sharp version of himself in the door opening. 'You know what to do.'
Sirius nodded as he rose from the ground and walked to the foot of the bed, the weird twist back in his stomach.
There was one thing you had to understand. He wasn't afraid of his father. No. It was his mother he feared. She was cruel. Something he thought she was even sadistic. He was sure she didn't like him behaving badly but she did enjoy him getting punished for it. His father wasn't like that. He was a rather decent guy, as far as that went in the Black Family. But he had tried every form of punishment he could think of until the only alternative left was what all Black families did. Good old fashioned corporal punishment, usually administered by a member of the staff. And at least his father was man enough to do it himself.

.o.o.o.o.

The night had been about as confusing as the previous day. He had a whole collection of dreams that night about him storming out of confession, running to a garden. Did churches even have gardens? And every dream ended with Sirius wearing the white collar while falling in the arms of another man without one. It made no sense.
It was a good thing he slept on his side for his mother would not have liked the hard-on those dreams left him when she woke him up. It wasn't the usual morning wood. This was ridiculously hard and he could still feel the hint of arousal in the pit of his stomach. His mother wasn't pleased with him. He slept through the alarm and he was to be in church soon, preferably before confession was over. To his mother's shock and surprise he couldn't agree more and after a short, cold shower to calm things down and stuffing a piece of toast in his mouth, he jumped out in the cold.

He took a little sprint. He couldn't care less about confessing or a blessed marriage. There was no way he was going to miss confession. He had to know if the voice really was what he remembered. If it was that good or hopefully even better.

'Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been one day since my last confession I'm sorry I'm late I hope I'm still in time.' He rambled as he ran in the little cubicle.
'Of course you are.´
It was as good and probably even better. It really was.
Without thinking it through he fell down on the wooden bench. That was stupid and he inhaled sharply.

´Are you alright?' The gentle voice sounded genuine worried and a lot closer than it had the previous day. He wondered if Pastor Lupin was leaning in to make sure he was okay. Not that it made much of a difference with that ridiculous piece of wood between them.
'I'm fine.'
'Are you sure?'
'Don't worry. Shouldn't you be thinking about my immortal soul?'
'Right now I'm more thinking of your mortal body.'
And with that, Sirius' heart skipped several beats.
'That.. That didn't sound how I meant it.' Pastor Lupin said and Sirius was sure he heard a soft chuckle in the voice.
'You sure?' He teased and immediately cringed. Damn it Sirius. This is a church, not some cheap ass café. He could hardly pass the man a beer.
'Quite sure, I'm sorry.' The man spoke, this time with clear laughter in his voice. 'Why don't we talk about what you're actually here for instead this turns incredibly inappropriate.
Sirius knew it was a joke but it took him all his restraint to stop flirting.
'Yes of course. Uhm. Confession.'
'Confession indeed. I believe we both have to admit some foolish stuff.' Lupin said and Sirius eyed the bars with big eyes. There was no way in the world he could know about his dreams, right? But when the silence remained, Pastor Lupin continued talking.

'We completely forget to finish up confession properly. I'm not sure where I was with my head.'
'Yes, that was silly.' Sirius said and frowned. Since when did he use a word as lame as silly. 'But I prayed fifty Hail Maries so I hope that's okay.'
'Fifty? For a little prank? That seems rather harsh.'
Again Sirius' eyes widened.
'My mother strongly disagrees with you. She probably thinks I'm a dark soul. Perhaps even Satan spawn. She'd given me 500 for just that prank.'
He moved and this time unintentionally gasped as the friction made the sting of his backside burn even more.
'Are you sure you are alright?' Pastor Lupin asked again, his voice this time overflowing with concern. 'You don't sound well.'
Sirius was quiet for a little while before he spoke again.
'I told you she didn't agree with just the fifty.' This time his voice was hushed. He never spoke about these things. Ever. He wasn't sure if it was shame or just something you didn't talk about. And it felt weird to spill it to someone he didn't even know.

'Oh. I'm sorry.' The other man whispered.
'Don't be. Nothing I can't handle.'
'If you are sure..'
'I am.' He wasn't, of course. But he wasn't going to bother the kind man with that any longer.
'Then let us continue. It is not my place to pry.'
A part of Sirius wished he would so he could blurt out all that he hated so much about his family. But he could feel this wasn't the time. Not yet.

'Nothing really happened since yesterday, though.' Sirius continued clenching his fists. That was a lie, of course. He had had very sinful thought about the man on the other side of the wood. But he wasn't sure he was ready to confess such a thing, let alone to the men involved.
'Apart from the running out of confession, which I believe you already atoned for with the fifty prayers. I'll include the other ones with that.'
'And for this time?'
'Nothing happened so nothing to atone for, I'd say.'
Sirius snorted.
'My mother is not going to buy that.'
'Well. If she doesn't, let her call me.'
'She doesn't have God's number.'
Sirius blurted the incredibly inappropriate joke out before he knew it but a big grin spread on his face when he actually heard Pastor Lupin burst out in quiet laughter. With a giggling sigh to get himself back in order he turned back to the barred window.
'There's a phone in the sacristy.'
'Ah. Well. Then I guess we're done.'
'I guess so.'
And Sirius rose from his seat, slightly disappointed he couldn't think of more things to talk about.

'Sirius..' The voice spoke and Sirius paused for a moment.
'Yes?'
'I promise that if you ever need my help, I'll be there. You don't have to face this alone.'
'Thank you Pastor Lupin.'
'Would you do me one last favour?'
'Sure.'
'Please just call me Remus.'
'Remus.' Sirius repeated and the name felt even better coming from his lips than it had hearing it.
'Good day Sirius. I'll see you tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow.' Sirius repeated again, feeling rather stupid. But it was as if something inside of him melted.

He was halfway home when he realised the man had called him by his name.

Wasn't confession supposed to be anonymous?

Well. That turned out longer than expected! But I couldn´t find a proper way to cut up the story. I hope you liked this chapter! Next one is almost done. Trade me the next chapter for some inspiring review?