3/Feud

RAW, the week before Backlash

In the time that she was gone, things had heated up between Kane and The Undertaker. Literally. Kane tried to set The Undertaker on fire one week, and the next week Taker threw his brother into a pool of gasoline and held up a lighter. He didn't actually set the gas ablaze, but his point was made. Both matches ended in disqualifications. Bischoff and Teddy decided to deny the requests for a no DQ rematch, as Kane and The Undertaker were two of their best wrestlers. However, all this did was infuriate them until Vince McMahon himself had to step in to keep the peace. Actually, he was kind of destroying the peace, because he signed a no DQ, Falls-Count-Anywhere match.

During the course of the match, one man or the other—or perhaps both—was thrown into the table that contained all the sound mixing equipment. Taker actually pinned Kane on top of the table, which had broken by that point. With his hand raised in victory, he waited for his music to hit. When it didn't, he turned his gaze on the WWE employee in charge of calling up everybody's music.

"I'm sorry, Undertaker, but the computer's broken there's nothing I can do," the frightened man babbled, explaining the situation to the Dead Man. Finally the Undertaker nodded and walked up the ramp.

The next week the show began once again with Eric and Teddy in the ring. Teddy explained that the music system is still inaccessible because of the main-event last week, and the accidental damage the two goliaths caused.

"Accidental my ass!" fumed Bischoff. "Those two planned it. I know that they're with JJ somehow, and JJ said she was gonna 'steal the show', remember? She's trying to cost us our jobs, and take over Raw!"

"You know what I think?" prompted Teddy.

"What's that?"

"I think you're paranoid." The audience burst out laughing. "Why would that little punk want our jobs?"

"Why would she want to debut five months in advance?"

"To make an impact?" Asked Teddy, slowly.

"Impact? Ha! That's the same thing Randy Orton said when he challenged the Undertaker last year, and he lost in 7 minutes! Some impact! I'm telling you, those three are planning something."

"And I'm telling you," a deep Texan voice said, as the lights turned off, "to get over yourself." The Undertaker appeared on the Titan-tron, and rolled his eyes back into his head. Then the camera panned back and revealed Kane standing next to him.

"I second that motion," said the Monster. "What happened last week was an accident, nothing more, nothing less."

"Be that as it may, we don't have any music available because of you two and your antics last week!" The camera panned back again to show Mr. McMahon standing on the other side of the Undertaker. Vince leaned closer to the camera.

"Eric. I'm the chairman of this company. I'm telling you that I agree with Mr. Long, there. It was an accident, so take their advice," he swept his arm towards the other two men in the room, "and get over yourself. Now, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RING!" He waited until the defeated co-general manager had done so before addressing the audience. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I apologize for this inconvenience. We will have the music system running by next week. Tonight, however, it looks like we're going to have to go on with the show without music." Then, chuckling, he added, "Unless there are any bands out their that happen to know all the songs."

Later that evening

"Introducing first, from Washington DC. Weighing in at 317 pounds, BATISTA!" Lillian was introducing the evening's Main Event. "And his opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 225 pounds, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!" Shawn was halfway down the ramp before he noticed the pick-up truck. It was sitting off to one side at the top of the ramp. He looked at it for several seconds. JJ wasn't there, even though it was her truck. What was she doing? Shaking his head, HBK rolled into the ring.

The match was a good one, especially the ending. Batista hit a Batista-bomb, which Shawn kicked out of. Then, Shawn connected with Sweet-Chin Music, followed by an elbow from the top rope. 1-2-3 for the win.

I think I'm cute…I know I'm sexy…

Shawn's music began playing over the speakers. He celebrated by jumping up onto the second turnbuckle and firing up the fans. Then, comprehension dawned on his face. He looked again at the pickup. This time, JJ was standing on it. The camera showed this, and the crowds began cheering even louder. Then Vince came out and said, "Whoa, wait a minute. JJ, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Stealing the show."

"No, really."

"Hey, man, you asked, I delivered." She motioned towards the band in the back of the truck. The same one from before. "Show the man, will you?" Then a clip of Vince saying they would have to go without music unless there were any bands that knew the songs played.

"I was being sarcastic."

"You oughta make that a little clearer." She picked up an electric guitar and nodded to one of the other people. They began playing 'No Chance'.

"Well, I must say, you do my music well at least. But how well can you do other guys'?"

"What other guys?"

"Oh, no one important. Before I forget, I got permission from the network to extend the show one half-hour, so ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the tag team championships. Introducing first, they are the WWE tag team champions: Randy Orton and John Cena!" Vince smiled evilly at JJ, an expression that she returned easily. She and the band went right into Randy's music. The two had become champions the previous week, beating Kurt Angle and Christian for the tag titles.

"And their opponents," said Lillian, taking over her job and waiting for the music to start. JJ was listening to someone in the back on a headset. She nodded and instructed the band. She walked over to a switchboard and looked at it momentarily. Then she positioned her guitar in the right place and flipped one of the switches.

BOOM!

Kane's pyro went off, nearly throwing JJ off her feet. She managed to keep her feet, and played the Monster's music along with the band. Lillian resumed speaking.

"Weighing in at 320 pounds, KANE!" The enormous Superstar finished his entrance and Lillian began to announce his partner when the lights went out.

Déjà vu thought Kane, remembering JJ's stunning appearance at Wrestlemania. JJ struck a single note on her guitar, but it sounded just like a bell tolling. She hit it again, and once more, and then the band began to play a slow funeral march. JJ stayed on guitar, while the others had switched to brass instruments.

"From Death Valley," said the beautiful ring announcer, "The Undertaker!" The Phenom walked slowly down to the ring. He marched methodically up the steps and raised his arms, causing the lights to come back on. He entered the squared-circle, and removed his coat and hat. He rolled his eyes back into his head, directing the expression at Randy and John. When he rolled them forwards again, however, he found himself face-to-face with his brother. The feud between them wouldn't rest in peace that easily.