Turned Tables
Chapter 3
-o-
Opposites Attract
Mario and Zelda were sitting on either side of the couch, as far away from each other as it would let them. The television was turned off and every attempt at starting a conversation had fallen short. To say that the mood was awkward would be an understatement.
The plumber was usually good at getting along with people – provided that the other person at least threw in a few words to create a dialogue – but this was certainly not the case with Zelda. She made it very troublesome to get a conversation going, never asking any questions back and never replying with a single superfluous syllable.
"So-a, you're a principesse?" Mario said.
"Yes."
"Tough-a with all the kidnappings-a?"
"At times."
"Maybe I-a could save you sometime?"
"Perhaps."
If only they could find something – anything – that they had in common. It was no wonder that Peach and Link got along as disturbingly well as they did. Both were optimists, eager givers rather than takers, talkative, stubborn and childishly fond of attention from their loved ones. Actually, Mario was surprised that Peach had not left him for Link a long time ago and, looking at Zelda, he could not see why Link had never become a serious rival for Peach's attentions.
He was starting to lose interest in making Zelda open up but if he just walked away it could turn out to be a problem. One never knew if Master Hand was lurking around nearby. He had a tendency to hide at such obvious places that one never expected to find anything there.
"What-a do you know, it's-a raining," Mario thought aloud when his gaze had wandered all the way over to the window. "It's-a pouring down and it-a was sunny just a few minutes ago-a."
The door swung open, giving Mario a good excuse to stay silent, and because Master Hand had made sure that the house was built without an entrance hall – the reason was that he felt discriminated by the fact that he had no coat to hang up – Link and Peach walked straight into the living room. They stood in a puddle of rainwater and behind loomed the giant shape of Master Hand who, judging by how he floated up and down, was in a good mood despite the weather.
"Great-a," Mario thought. If he had known that Master Hand had been out he could have avoided Zelda without suffering the consequences and he would not have been sitting here, ready to witness Peach and Link sharing a blanket to dry off or doing something else romantic. Pasta would not be able to make up for this.
"All this fighting gets kind of boring in the long run but you lovebirds really brighten up this place," Master Hand said. The corners of Peach and Link's mouths twitched when they tried to keep the grins plastered on their faces intact.
"Yes, we are so in love," Peach said through gritted teeth.
"I'd propose if I wasn't broke."
Peach's strained smile gave in and vanished in the blink of an eye. Her bangs were hanging in the way of her eyes like a waterlogged sponge that leaked cold water on her face. Her natural curls had gained a weight of five kilos and turned frizzy. Her laced dress with its many petticoats was dirtied at the hem and heavier than armor. Her makeup was fighting extermination. All of this, she had thought to be because of a small mistake, a forgotten wallet, and now she found out that he had never had any money in the first place?
Mario noticed Zelda tense up when the word "propose" was mentioned. He was also bothered, but not by these forced words spoken with such exhaustion. Zelda was one of the more levelheaded Smashers and he had not thought that she would have taken something like that to heart.
Mario and Peach had already discussed getting engaged since way back. In a roundabout way they already were. Peach would walk on clouds for a week whenever marriage was brought up and Mario had a feeling that the wedding was already planned to the smallest detail. The only preparation he had done was looking at rings but it was important that the proposal came as a nice surprise even if they had already agreed somewhat on being wed.
Every now and then the topic had come up when talking with Link. If he thought back on it, Mario could piece together that the Hylian had been uncomfortable whenever marriage was brought up. If Link was asked about Zelda he would mumble something about politics, heritage or how she trusted his feelings without creating a marital circus. Maybe Mario had reason to worry that Link could so easily blurt out the word "propose" when Peach was the would-be bride?
"Look at you two!"
Master Hand was making his way over to Mario and Zelda who were still having some generous space between them. Their boss made a sweeping gesture at their former lovers, by mistake knocking Popo the Ice Climber to the ground.
"Link and Peach are the only ones spreading some love around here and you dare call yourselves a couple? When you two became an item I expected whispers of love to warm the rest of the Smashers' hearts but look at your pathetic behavior. No one would even take you two for friends."
Master Hand's lecture went on for another good ten minutes and Mario glanced over at Zelda when he felt waves of murderous intent radiate from her direction. What he found was a princess smiling brightly at the hand, absorbing every insult and reprimand like fuel. A chill went down his spine and he wondered what was wrong with Master Hand. Could he not sense that he was juggling with dynamite?
"Mario, you're not listening to me!" Master Hand yelled.
"Sorry-a," Mario muttered. He might be unnerved but he pitied the princess. Everybody was watching them, Link and Peach included. While Link appeared to have succeeded at romancing his new love interest with splendor, Zelda was being lectured. In the end, she had been the one unable to go through with what she herself had suggested.
"Mario, you're still not listening," Master Hand said after interrupting himself a second time. Zelda was now smiling in a way that made one feel like bubbles and sparkles would fill up the air around her. Well, bubbles of poisonous gas and sparkles of fire in a sea of inflammable oil.
"I-a don't-a have to," Mario said and Master Hand sunk closer to the ground like dark forces were beginning to stir and pulling him down. Who dared to say that they stood above his scolding? "I-a just invited Zelda to go out-a with me. Do we still look like friends-a?"
"It's raining," Link interjected, for some reason.
"Don't-a care," Mario said. "I-a want to spend some time-a with my Zellie."
It was as though the fake smile and the tension around Zelda dissolved like dark ash gone with the wind. In its place the corners of her mouth gently, almost with uncertainty, formed a smile much better suited for her lips. The hard gaze softened and the blue irises bashfully tried to hide behind her eyelashes as if she was not sure whether or not to show such an expression. At last Mario was beginning to understand what charm Link had found in Princess Zelda.
The Hylian princess stood up, fidgeting with her gloves. Mario caught sight of Peach pouting at him. His gaze instantly jumped to Link whose eyes were narrowing at him. Who cared? If the hero had a problem with it he should have thought about that before eating Peach's cake. Mario sauntered past the wet pair and flipped up and umbrella from the stand beside the door.
"After you," he said and opened the door for Zelda.
"Thank you," she said and brushed by him, not giving Peach, Master Hand or Link a single glance.
And so they stood on the front porch with the door closed behind them. Zelda's shoulders slumped. Her smile was still in place, still sincere, but her eyebrows were pulled together to form a sad wrinkle between them. She would probably have been happier if she had been dripping wet and shuddering from cold together with Link. Mario could relate. It had not been easy walking out on Peach doing her infamous pout.
"Thank you," Zelda said again now that they were alone. "I'm sorry that I'm such a bore."
What was one supposed to say to that? She had been a bit of a bore but he did not dislike her because of a small thing like that. He shrugged and was about to put up the umbrella when he stopped and grinned sheepishly at the princess.
"Do you mind-a?" he said and held it out for the taller woman who shook her head and looked slightly amused when she accepted it.
"Not at all."
There was a nice pitter-patter above their heads once the umbrella was shielding them from the falling raindrops. Zelda walked with a fist of her dress in her hand to keep it off the ground. Her arms moved in sync with her legs and the long skirt twisted back and forth.
"Where-a should we go?" Mario asked. "We should probably get inside-a."
"I don't mind the rain," she said but then noticed the look on his face. "How about checking out this store then?"
The princess pointed at the shop they were just passing by, a small one with dark windows. None of them were enthusiastic about it but it would be impolite of him to turn down her offer and she could not go back on something she had said for his sake, because it would be both rude and selfish. A jingling sound of a bell sounded when they stepped inside the store and things looked quite orderly, although the assortment was strange. It ranged from garden tools to toys and from stationary to furniture.
Zelda walked over to one of the many desks to take a closer look on a few rolls of wallpaper. When she bent forward, arching an eyebrow at the colorful flower pattern, Mario noticed a short little thing dawdling up behind her.
"Zelda, uh, I-a mean Zellie. There's a beaver behind-a you."
Zelda swirled around, lifting her heels while keeping her feet together, and raised her arms. Hardly a second later her shocked face was replaced by a neutral one when she saw the creature that did not even reach up to her waist.
"It is a raccoon, I am quite sure, although they are usually no larger than about half a meter. Well, some have a body length that goes over seventy centimeters but this one is still remarkably large. I do wonder who dressed it in a blue apron."
"You sure-a know a lot about animals-a," Mario said, not quite sure if he should be disturbed or impressed.
Zelda's cheeks took on a red color that contrasted greatly to her pale skin while she mumbled something about never being allowed outside and always reading about the wonders outside her window.
"I'm a tanuki, not a raccoon, but it's an easy enough mistake to make. You're a princess I take it?" the peculiar creature said and ignored their stares. It could not be the first time they heard an animal talk. He peered up at Zelda's forehead. "That crown sure looks nice. Are you here to sell?"
"N-no."
"A shame, a real shame. Well, I'm Tom Nook. What can I do for you?"
Mario stepped up to shake Nook's paw and the animal's round eyes widened to the size of ping-pong balls when he saw the red cap, matching sweater and denim overalls. Such a casual Big Bro look could only be worn in the correct manner by one person, at least the cap with the red "M".
"And I'm–"
"Super Mario! Big fan, big fan. And this must be the lovely Princess Peach?" Tom Nook said and shook Mario's hand with great enthusiasm before he turned back to the princess and grabbed her hand with both paws. "Big fan."
"Actually, I'm Princess Zelda of Hyrule," Zelda introduced herself and pulled her hand back.
Tom Nook's eyes narrowed in suspicion and his gaze darted to and fro between the two. He scratched his chin and his face crunched into a grimace that made the dark mask-like pattern on his face nearly disappear in the wrinkles that formed.
"And you're a couple?" he finally said.
"Yes-a."
"Pink dress, blonde hair, crown… Do you get kidnapped occasionally?"
"Occasionally, yes."
"Yes, yes. Works for me. Okay, then, what can I do for you?"
"Oh, we're just looking around," Zelda said.
"That won't do, that won't do. You're out on a date, right? Then you must buy something to remember this wonderful day."
Outside the thunder roared louder and louder and the raindrops poured down from the grey sky like a waterfall. Huddled up against the dark windows were two figures crouching under a pink umbrella.
Peach sighed and tried to avoid dirtying her dress. The size of the skirt made it so that she would have had a hard time shielding it with the umbrella if she had been alone, and now she had to share the precious space with Link. She took an armful of the skirt and tried to move closer to him. The rain droplets on the window made it hard to see anything but it seemed as if Mario and Zelda did nothing more interesting than talk to a beaver with a striped tail.
"Look at that little stalker," Link muttered and Peach rubbed some rain off the glass to get a better look inside. Zelda and Mario were walking around the small store with the beaver no less than a step behind them. Every now and then Zelda threw a glance over her shoulder or tried to make a quick turn but Tom Nook kept close, staring up her back with his round eyes.
"The beaver is kind of cute," Peach said.
"It's a raccoon," Link said. "A perverted raccoon," he added under his breath.
"Well, I'm sorry for thinking it was a beaver."
Peach stuck her nose in the air and pouted at the inside of the store. It took a while for her to see that Mario had just bought Zelda some stationary and that the princess was reaching out to accept the bag from Nook. Her lips moved but Peach could not guess what was being said and the only thing she saw of Mario was the back of his head. It happened to be so that a huge desk displaying floor tiles stood in the way of most of her plumber.
"Oh, just look at her acting all grateful and innocent," Peach huffed when Zelda after a moment of hesitation gave Mario a quick and awkward hug of thanks. It was more of a pat on the back, actually. "She's obviously trying to seduce him."
"Seduce him?" Link cried out, aghast. "Move over."
"Ow, don't push a lady," Peach cried back and elbowed him when he tried to move closer under the small umbrella.
"I didn't push you. When did you get so close to me anyway?"
"Excuse me for trying to keep you dry."
Peach scuffled away from him, taking her umbrella with her, and Link stubbornly remained where he was, glaring at her in the rain before he looked back into the store. The second he did his breath got stuck in his throat and he pressed himself closer to the window.
"What does that Casanova think he's doing? Get those dirty Italian gloves offa her!"
"She's the one all over him," Peach argued as she made her way back to peek at the upsetting scene.
"Zelda's not the type to make a move on anyone."
"Well, my Mario is too much of a gentleman to try anything on a first date. I have to host big parties and bribe him with cake to even get him to visi– "
"I have to break into Zelda's castle to see her at all, and even when I succeed she's always busy with work or someth–"
"Don't interrupt me!"
"What? All you ever do is talk. I'd be stuck listening to you all day if I did not interrupt. It always has to be about you, doesn't it?"
"Same goes for you."
The sound of a bell signaled that the door to the store opened and Peach and Link put an end to their bickering to crawl around the nearest corner.
"Aww, my dress got all dirty," Peach sighed and tried to brush off some of the brown mud. Link hushed at her and she frowned at him while he peeked around the corner at Zelda and Mario, who had just exited and folded up their umbrella.
"Did you hear something, Mario?"
"No, but I-a thought I-a saw something pink."
"Pink?"
Link glared accusingly at Peach over his shoulder and she glared back.
"I-a don't-a think you have to worry, Zellie," Mario said. "And I'm-a here if anything happens."
"Thank you," Zelda said and lowered her head in thought for a few seconds before she faced him again. "I don't quite know how to respond, but I'm grateful, Mario. It was really sweet of you to buy me that stationary. No one has ever really given me a gift without there being a special occasion before. I guess what I am trying to say is that I can't believe you noticed that I liked this pattern, and you got it for me even when I could have bought it myself. You didn't have to."
"What about the flowers I always give her?" Link said, stunned by how conversational the quiet Zelda was all of a sudden. Peach could only see his back but she thought that she distinguished a hint of hurt in his voice. It eased some of her annoyance, but not all of it.
"It's-a kind of a special occasion," Mario said. "It's-a our first date. But I-a would have bought it-a even if it-a weren't. I-a think you should smile more-a often."
Zelda could not help but to smile when she heard those words. Truth to be told, she felt like crying too. It was strange how unfamiliar it felt to hear someone say that it truly wished for one's happiness. "I am really happy, and I love the present," she said. "It's pretty and practical."
"Practical?" Peach whispered.
"Of course Zelda must like it if it's practical," Link mumbled and rolled his eyes. He was quite torn. On one hand he wanted to teach Mario the consequences of buying stuff for somebody else's woman, and on top of that tried to smooth-talk her. On the other hand, he wanted to know exactly what it was about that insignificant gift that made Zelda look so happy that she could cry. Her cheeks looked rosy. Her eyes shimmered. He had always assumed that a princess like her would not want petty things like that, and so he had never bought them. He took her out to dinner a couple of times a week instead. Was that wrong?
"Link must-a have fallen in love with your smile-a," Mario stated and both Link and Peach slipped to the ground.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Link asked out loud, clearly not pleased. "He's making a move on her?"
"Who's making a move on whom?" a voice behind them boomed just as Link was in the middle of struggling to get to his feet as quickly as possible to intervene. The voice made him fall to the ground again, and he rubbed the back of his head when he got up and turned around. He knew that voice.
"M-Master Hand, what a pleasant surprise," Peach said just as Mario and Zelda rounded the corner.
"What's all the noise about? Oh."
The two of them came to an abrupt halt at the sight of the soaked and muddy princess and Hylian hero, and behind them the looming form of Master Hand that was emerging from the darkness of the alley. More ominous than ever.
"You four have got some explaining to do."
(A/N)
I completely forgot about this story (makes me sound really reliable, doesn't it?). I had looked forward to writing the part about Mario and Zelda too. I have more in store, or rather, Master Hand has more in store for our darling couples.
I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. My most sincere thanks to all you readers, and an extra thanks to those of you who took the time to make my day with a review. I really appreciate it.
