IAmGod Logged in

PaperLove Logged in

IAmGod: Konan, did you inform the others of the login time?

PaperLove: Yes Leader-sama... but...

IAmGod: What's the problem?

PaperLove: Well... it seems someone infiltrated the base and the others thought I'd be best to handle it themselves. So... they are currently searching for the perpetrator.

IAmGod: Wtf?! I'm the leader of the Akatsuki and no one thought it wise to inform me of this?

PaperLove: Actually, that's the reason they went without me... so I could inform you. So... surprise!

IAmGod: When they get back, I swear to me that they'll get punished. It is unacceptable to leave me out of something to this extent. They need to learn to respect me.

PaperLove: How? They're a group of criminals who are cold,insane, and uncaring through and through.

IAmGod: And that's where you're wrong Konan. I have known most of them for quite some time and I have learned that each one of them has at least one weakness. All I have to do is exploit their weakness as punishment. Fufufu...

PaperLove: Oh? And how do you plan to do that?

IAmGod: Easy.

Kisame- Kill the fish in his tank with his various cooking utensils and destroy everything else in the kitchen. Throw the dead fish all around his room.

Itachi- Kill Sasuke. For some reason, he has an attachment to his emo little brother who is trying to kill him. Then put lemon juice and bleach in his eye drops.

Hidan- Take his Jashin bible, necklace thing, and his scythe. Then defile them, paint them, and then destroy them all on video. Send him back the pieces of everything with the video tape.

Kakuzu- Burn his money... or take it for myself and spend it all.

Sasori- Disassemble all his puppets and bury the parts through the hidden villages. Give his most important puppet to the Kazekage. Then put termites in him.

Deidara- Steal his hair straightener and replace his hair products with various colored dyes. Then take his detonating clay away and give him play dough with glue in it some his mouth hand things will get glued shut. And call him ugly.

Zetsu- Kill his plants and pick his flowers. Spray him with weed killer and tell him how paper is made.

Tobi- Take away his candy and lock him in a cage.

PaperLove:

IAmGod: I've had a lot of time to think of these.

TobiIzGoodBoi Logged in

TobiIzGoodBoi: Heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy!

IAmGod: Tobi, where are the others? Did you catch the infiltrator?

TobiIzGoodBoi: Sempai and the others are still on their way back! Since we never found the sneaky man, they all seem really sad! Maybe I should give them lollipops?

IAmGod: Son of a... Tobi! Tell them to log in immediately. There is an emergency meeting asap!

TobiIzGoodBoi: Okie Dokie! I'll go tell them!

PaperLove: Hah. Glad I'm not them.

IAmGod: Oh, don't think you're off the hook. You knew about this and let them go through with it, so I'll be punishing you also.

ArtEzABang! Logged in

EternalPuppetMaster Logged in

ArtEzABang!: wat ez et un? I havnt blown enythin up tahday! :( I promiss

$Money$ Logged in

LollipopsAndSunshine Logged in

RawrzJaws Logged in

JashinIsFuckingTruGod Logged in

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: What the hell is with this stupid 'emergency meeting' bullshit? I have sacrifices to do!

IAmGod: Well, now that everyone is here- wait... where's Itachi?

EternalPuppetMaster: He said, and I quote, "Hn... meetings are stupid." and went to his room. I presume he isn't planning on logging in.

$Money$: What's the point in buying a computer for him if he doesn't even use it?! This piece of shit machinery... Waste of money.

RawrzJaws: Someone should go tell him to get on.

IAmGod: You're his roommate, aren't you sitting right next to him?

RawrzJaws: No.. Itachi kicked me out and locked the door. And he called me an over-sized mutant smurf and told me to do something useful for once.

ArtEzABang!: Etachee ez a beech... maybee hez pmsing un?

EternalPuppetMaster: Yes Deidara, Itachi is PMSing.

TobiIzGoodBoi: Sempai? What's PMSing?

ArtEzABang!: Oh mah god, r u serius?

IAmGod: Pein

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: Jashin

RawrzJaws: Jaws

IAmGod: Enough of this foolishness! I need- Jaws? What the hell?

RawrzJaws: Jaws is my god. He is the best shark that has ever lived!

IAmGod: Uh... okay, whatever. Kisame, I need you to tell Itachi to log in now. Orders straight from me.

RawrzJaws: I'll try.

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: Who'd win in a fight, Metapod or Magikarp?

PaperLove: Seriously?

ArtEzABang!: ideit

EternalPuppetMaster: For once, I agree with Deidara... just not with his spelling.

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: Wow. I was just trying to be fucking conversational! Fuck you termite infestation! Fuck you too you illiterate transvestite!

$Money$: $100 for Metapod

PaperLove: I put my money on Magikarp

TobiIzGoodBoi: I bet both would win!

EternalPuppetMaster: Magikarp

ArtEzABang!: Mehdahpawd un

LollipopsAndSunshine: Magikarp...

IAmGod: Metapod would win

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: Are you fucking serious? I hate all of you fucking shits. You're all assholes.

RawrzJaws: I told Itachi and he said he'll kill my fish if I don't stop bothering him... so I stopped. I'd vote Magikarp by the way.

IAmGod: Try again.

RawrzJaws: But he'll kill my fishies! I can't!

IAmGod: If Itachi isn't online in 5 minutes, I will cut you up and serve you as sushi for dinner tonight. I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to try blue sushi.

RawrzJaws: Right... I'll make sure he gets on...

PaperLove: That's so evil... and hot

EternalPuppetMaster: … what?

IAmGod: You think so, huh?

PaperLove: Definitely

IAmGod: I could always show you something much hotter...

PaperLove: Oh really? Then please do.

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: Ewwwwwwwwww! Someone please go get Itachi so we can start this meeting!

ArtEzABang!: Duz eny1 else heer criing?

EternalPuppetMaster: Now that you mention it, I do too.

RawrzJaws: jbdks;HJLGV J8383mjjkj'.[[230

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: What the fuck was that? I'm gonna go see if shark boy is fucking dead or something.

TobiIzGoodBoi: Oh no! What's wrong with Kisame?! Tobi hopes he's okay!

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: Oh my fucking Jashin...

IAmGod: Hidan, what happened? Report.

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: It's.. I … oh my Jashin.. this is..

$Money$: Spit it out, moron.

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: This is... fucking hilarious! HAHAHA! OH MY JASHIN THIS IS GOOD! WHERE'S MY VIDEO CAMERA?! HAHA!

IAmGod: Hidan, explain. Now.

JashinIsFuckingTruGod: Oh fuck, this is great! I can't wait to 4ijh 44uHUSHUULLL;DDDDDDDD

IAmGod: Hidan?

JashinIsFuckingTruGod Disconnected

EternalPuppetMaster: What the hell...?

Hate Logged in

IAmGod: Finally. Itachi, explain what just happened.

Hate: Kisame was being a nuisance outside my door so to make him hate life and hopefully have him either leave or kill himself, I killed one of his fish. Although, I still feel one isn't enough and Kisame is being over dramatic. I only beheaded the fish, threw it's guts and body on the floor in front of the door so he would slip and fall in them when I let him in, and used the head as a make-shift sock puppet. I did nothing as great as to make him collapse and cry like this.

EternalPuppetMaster: Seriously, what the fuck. You know he loves those fish more then anything in the world.

PaperLove: ...Poor Kisame.

$Money$: Great. I'll have to buy him another fish. Screw you Itachi.

Hate: New update: It seems luck was on my side and I happened to randomly select his favorite fish, Nemo, to kill. I, am, good.

IAmGod: Great, I'm so glad for you. Now what of Hidan?

Hate: He was annoying so I cut off his head. It seems to have landed on his laptop and it is now sitting in a giant puddle of blood while sparking with Hidan's beheaded head sitting on it.

$Money$: OH JUST FUCKING GREAT! ONE MORE THING THAT WE HAVE TO PAY FOR! I'M TAKING IT OUT OF HIDANS PAY CHECK, THAT FUCKING BASTARD! I FUCKING HATE THAT ALL OF YOU JUST THROW AWAY MONEY! INCOMPETENT LITTLE SHITS!

ArtEzABang!: Whait un... es the head lookin at u?

Hate: Yes... It reminds me of a cake. A very bloody, morbid cake. Kisame's sobbing in the background really creates a nice effect.

EternalPuppetMaster: I'm fucking done. You're all fucking fucked up.

EternalPuppetMaster Disconnected

RawrzJaws: N... Nemo..

IAmGod: Well I see we will accomplish nothing once again. I will punish all of you later for acting without my guidance and for letting an infiltrator escape. For now, I'm logging off. Deidara, Tobi, go help clean up Itachi and Kisame's room. Kakuzu, buy Kisame another fish and Hidan another laptop. Zetsu, try and get info on our anonymous infiltrator. Konan, my office, now. By that, I mean my bedroom.

PaperLove: Yes sir.

IAmGod Disconnected

PaperLove Disconnected

LollipopsAndSunshine Disconnected

TobiIzGoodBoi: Yay! I'll give a lollipop to Kisame and Hidan to make them feel better! Let's go Sempai!

ArtEzABang!: I h8 mah lyf..

ArtEzABang! Disconnected

TobiIzGoodBoi Disconnected

$Money$ Disconnected

RawrzJaws Disconnected

Hate: All the members of the Akatsuki need more hate.

Hate Disconnected


So... yeah. That's the third chapter. Who do you think the infiltrator is? If you guess correctly, I'll give you the combination of Kakuzu's safe! Anyway, I live off of reviews so pretty pwease leave one. Shanks and shivs, brah!

Love y'all, bye bye!

P.S. Can you tell what Deidara is saying? I didn't really think about it until now, but it might be kinda hard to understand. If you want me to, I'll write a 'translation' for him under his message each time. Just let me know if you want that!