"Holy shit, I'm fucking drunk." Hidan mumbled to herself as she stumbled out of the bar. Behind her, she left about 15 bloody Jashinist symbols all over the bar along with the same number of bodies. The only person alive was the bartender and an old ass dog. The young woman had left them alive only because the bartender was the one supplying the drinks and the dog...well Jashin-sama didn't want dogs and besides, Hidan had a dog once.
"I-is t-that all m-ma'am?" the nervous bartender asked. 'Please don't let me be next, Kami-sama!'
"One more can't..." she hit her head on the bar counter after taking a seat again. "...hurt."
The man quickly got the woman another drink, still scared. She was still in her cursed form and he was scared that he was going to be next. The priestess quickly downed the drink and demanded another, even though it was possible she was going to regret it in the morning. After a few more drinks, Hidan decided it was time to leave. Paying the man, the woman stumbled out of the bar, dragging her scythe behind her. Normally she could take more than 7 drinks without getting wasted, but it seemed that woman could only take less alcohol than a man. No wonder she was shit-faced. Never in Hidan's life did she ever have trouble walking, not even when she first started walking.
"Jashin-sama, why did I drink so much?" The priestess whimpered as she stopped to throw up. "Oh fuck, I need help."
"Hidan, is that you?"
"K-kisame, is that you?" Hidan slurred.
"Yeah it's me. Are you okay?" The shark quickly caught the ninja as she stumbled towards him and fell.
"I'm fucking drunk. Take me home, fish." The priestess coughed and threw up, thankfully, on the ground.
"Damn, Hidan. How much did you have?" The shark said carrying the woman bridal style.
"15." Hidan giggled. "I feel like...shit...hey, Kisame?"
"Huh?"
"That sword...Samedaha, right?"
"What about it?"
"Is it...supposed to, you know, compensate for something?" Hidan giggled.
"What? Hell no." Kisame smirked. "Everyone pretty much says that, but then again they've never seen the real thing."
"Awesome...how big is it?"
"I don't mean to brag, but pretty huge."
"Could I see it?"
Kisame chuckled softly. "You're drunk, Hidan. Let's just concentrate on getting back to the hideout."
"Okay, Kisame-chan!" The Jashinist giggled, liking the sound of the name she called Kisame.
After getting back to the hideout, the albino was laid down in her bed. "There you go, Hidan. See you later."
"W-wait." Hidan pulled his arm. "I-I have to pee. Carry me?"
Kisame looked a bit awkward, but picked up the albino woman. He wasn't sure what to do next. Hidan obviously wasn't in the position to pee on her own (plus there was the fact that she was covered in alcohol, blood, and smelled like barf), so that meant that not only did he have to help her pee, but also help her bathe. In the state she was in, the swordsman knew there was a risk that Hidan was going to attack him as she had done to the people in the bar. He could have asked Kakuzu to help her, being that they were partners and all, but alas, the older man was on a bounty mission.
Upon reaching the toilet, Kisame knew what he had to do, but wasn't sure what would happen. Praying that Hidan wouldn't try to attack him, he slowly pulled down her panties and held her as she used the toilet while she gripped his cloak. After that was done, Kisame ran a hot bath for her. Now came the hard part.
"Okay, Hidan, get in the tub."
"No...I don't wanna fucking move!" Hidan gripped his cloak tightly. "I wanna sleep."
"You smell awful, so you need a bath. Konan asked me to look after you until Kakuzu gets back from his mission, so get in or I'll do it myself!"
Hidan wasn't listening since she had drifted off to sleep. Kisame's eye twitched and he sighed. Trying not to wake her up, he quickly undressed her and put her into the bath water. He had to admit, as a woman, she was pretty hot and her body was amazing.
"Kisame-chaaan..." Hidan whispered.
"Hm?"
"You're blue." The albino ran a soft hand over Kisame's cheek. "And you have gills too."
The swordsman blushed. "Y-yeah, Hidan. I know."
"You have sharp teeth too, Kisa-chan." Hidan blushed and leaned forward as Kisame ran a bath cloth over her face. "Does it hurt when you bite your tongue?"
"Not really. I've gotten used to it by now." He tried to concentrate as he began to wash her arms. 'Damn it...I have to clean her chest and down there too.'
"Kisa-chan, your skin is so soft. Touch me..." Hidan wrapped her arms around the shark's neck. "Touch me anywhere you want."
"W-what?"
"When you touch me, it feels nice."
The shark looked away and decided it was best to ignore her comments for now. She couldn't have possibly meant what she said. "Hidan, use this to clean your...um...the rest of yourself."
"Why can't you do it?" slurred the ninja.
"Well...'cuz...uh..." Kisame flinched when Hidan grabbed his hand and placed it on her chest.
"Come on, Kisa-chan." The albino smirked. "I don't mind. I'm too drunk to even fucking care anyway."
The swordsman took a deep breath and continued to clean Hidan. He felt uncomfortable cleaning the rest of the woman's body and was worried that his fingers might slip into a place where they weren't welcome. Luckily for him, everything went fine, except for when Hidan moaned. That just made Kisame want to leave quickly before he hopped on the ninja.
'There! Done!' The shark picked up the naked woman, quickly put her into a towel, and laid her down on her bed. "Good night, Hidan."
"W-wait..." Hidan tried to sit up, but ended up laying back down after feeling like she was going to throw up again. "Stay with me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'll fall asleep faster, Kisa-chan." She begged with pleading eyes. "Please..."
"Fine, just stop looking at me like that." Hidan scooted over, making room for the man and blushing. "You're so cute when you blush, Kisa-chan. Heheh..."
Hidan yawned as she woke up, only to see that Kisame's arms were wrapped around her waist. Smiling, she pressed her face up to his and stroked his gills. 'He's so cute. Too bad I can't do this all the time.'
"Hidan, I'm ba..." Kakuzu stared at the couple. "Oh. I didn't know I was interrupting something."
"Shut the fuck up, cunt!" Hidan threw a pillow at her partner. "I asked him to stay in here with me last night when I was drunk."
"And you two then had sex."
"We didn't."
"Then why are you naked?" Kakuzu smirked.
"I'm not..." Hidan looked down and indeed she was naked due to the fact that the towel had fallen off. "Shit!"
She quickly covered herself with the towel, got some clothes, and ran into the bathroom. The man chuckled softly. 'They totally banged.'
