Hey thanks for the reviews, keep reading, it'll get better (eg more hot lesbian action) as it goes on, I promise. Needs to be built up first. Also I hope you like reading Santana's point of view as much as I liked writing it.


Santana never understood Quinn's fascination with Finn. Sure, she'd gone there herself, but that was only for strategic reasons, not because she particularly liked him. He was kind of cute, in a High School way, but the boy didn't have two brain cells to rub together. At least Puck knew how to break into a car. Santana knew people thought Brittany was dumb, even though she actually wasn't at all (she just didn't filter a lot of her thoughts before she spoke. And she had an active imagination. Ok, and maybe she was a little slow sometimes) but no one ever seemed to notice how stupid Finn was. Talking to him was like talking to a human shaped brick wall, unless you were interested in football plays or cars.

Santana was thinking all this while Finn folded his history quiz into a paper plan and threw it across the class, bouncing off the back of Puck's head. Exactly, she thought, that is what Finn Hudson is like. She looked up at the clock. They still had twenty minutes before the class finished.

It hadn't of surprised Santana when Quinn told her she wasn't interested in Finn anymore, for all the fore-mentioned reasons. But pulling out the homo-card? Santana hadn't seen that one coming, which was a shock to her because her gaydar was usually on target. Quinn into girls? All those sleepovers that her and Brittany had snuggled their way through, joking and hugging and kissing, Quinn wasn't into any of that. She'd always sit far away from them and act all superior, like their affections were somehow immature (admittedly they'd been about 14, and very immature, but whatever). Maybe that was why though. Maybe she was afraid she'd like it too much.

At first, after agreeing to help Quinn get Rachel, Santana had some second thoughts.

"I mean, what if her and Rachel are like hotter lesbians than we are?" she asked Brittany that evening, lying sprawled across her girlfriend's bed "And we'd go from being Ellen and Portia to being…I don't even know of any other famous lesbian couples. We'd become nothing Britt!"

"Don't you think Lord Tubbington dresses like Ellen? They're both so dapper."

"What? I don't know. Aren't you listening to me?"

"Sure, I just don't think you need to worry. If they become Ellen and Portia we'd become like those lesbians from that band."

"Tegan and Sara?"

"No, they're not lesbians, they're cousins."

Sometimes Brittany was a myriad of misinformation.

"Anyway, the point is, how many gays can our school hold? We've already for Kurt and Blaine, Karofsky, Sam probably…I mean we can't all be gay!"

"That's like…eight out of a thousand and something people" Brittany pointed out "I think we should support Quinn. Remember how hard it was for us being alone?"

Brittany looked at her with those "you know I'm right, stop being mean" eyes and Santana was inclined to agree.

"Ok I'll help her. Now take your top off, I want to get our cuddle on before your mum gets home."

Watching Finn and Puck send paper darts back and forth as the minutes ticked away in history class, Santana tried to think of someway to break up Finn and Rachel, and simultaneously bring Rachel and Quinn together. God I'm a good person she thought, doodling on a piece of paper absent mindedly. Plus the more lesbians at this school, the fewer looks Britt and I will get. And breaking up relationships is way more interesting than the American Revolution.

She needed to plan something that would give Rachel and Quinn lots of time together. That wouldn't involve Finn.

"Ok class, hand your papers to the front" they all began to file slowly out of the classroom.

"Santana, could you please stay behind and pick up this mess?" Mr Fitch the history teacher asked, gesturing to Finn's mess of strewn paper planes.

"What, why me? I didn't make this mess, call back Dumb and Dumber to do it!"

"Just do it Santana." Mr Fitch said unmoved.

"Why, because I'm a woman and I'm Latina I'm supposed to clean up after you white men? No me gusta, that's sexist and racist and you're probably a homophobe too-" she threw the last one in for good measure, not really having any evidence to back up the claim.

"Please Santana, I'm not interested, if it's not cleared up by the end of lunch you're on detention. No answering back!"

Mr Fitch, who clearly had his mind on his sandwiches, left the class before Santana could argue back.

"Douche bag…" she muttered to herself as she picked up the papers. One of the brightly coloured ones caught Santana's eye and she unfolded it to see what it said.

"History Ball:

The history department is putting on its annual historical ball. Come dressed as your favourite historical character or time period. Friday 25th, 7pm onwards. Entertainment to be announced."

Things began to tick over in Santana's mind. Entertainment to be announced? That was basically another way of saying that Figgins couldn't find anyone cheap enough to play the gig for free. But Mr Shue would leap at the chance for the Glee club to play at a real gig, with a (probably small) audience. Friday nights were football nights, which would mean that Finn wouldn't be able to attend. It was one thing for cheerleaders to miss a game, but the star quarter back? No way.

Santana saw what she had to do and immediately pulled her phone out to call Quinn.

"Where are you?"

"The lunch room, where are you?"

"I'm walking over now. I've got a plan."

"A plan for lunch? That's great Santana, but I think you're over-thinking things to be honest…"

"No idiot, a plan re-operation Berry Cheesecake" (Santana had made this name up in her head, but apparently Quinn understood what she meant, because she didn't ask her to clarify)

"Oh…what?"

"How do you feel about costumes?" Santana asked walking past the lockers, towards the cafeteria.

"Like role play? I don't think she'd be into that, and to be honest I'm not entirely comfortable-"

"No, like a costume party that the Glee-club-minus-Finn are going to sing at. That you are going to do a romantic duet with Rachel with at, and then she'll look into your eyes-"

"Santana, I'm right here, you can hang up."

Santana had arrived in the cafeteria and sat down beside Quinn without bothering to hang up her phone. She turned to Quinn. "Ok, so what do you think? We convince Mr Shue to let the Glee club perform at this historical costume party geek-fest, you turn up in some hot period costume and Rachel realises she's super homo for you. Finn meanwhile will be playing football, blissfully unaware of all of this."

"But what if she won't do a duet with me? I mean, you can't exactly force her to."

"No, but we can pull names out of a hat, which is like super easy to rig."

"Really?"

"Me and Britt worked it out ages ago. Honestly, you pretend like you're smart Fabray, but I'm seriously starting to doubt it."

Quinn smiled, genuinely amused, and Santana thought that it would be difficult for anyone not to be attracted to her. She was like a Barbie doll. Although often the smile wasn't that genuine, Santana reflected, it was merely masking some other emotion. When it was real though, it was like sunshine breaking through on a cloudy day. God did I just actually think that? Santana thought to herself. That's repulsive.

"Well, I try. Have you seen Rachel today?"

"She was off sick yesterday and she wasn't in Spanish this morning. Maybe she caught whatever Jew-fro has…"

"You put shrimp into his potato salad on Monday and he had an allergic reaction, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Sometimes it's hard to keep up." Santana conceded "Anyway, I'm going to find Britt before lunch finishes. She just text me that she found a portal to the 4th dimension behind the gym."

"That Janitor's cupboard?"

"Probably"

Santana left to go find Brittany before she did herself any real damage. Well, that's my good deed for the day, she thought to herself, Britt had better be proud.