Author's Note: I don't own Naruto. I'm just writing this story just for fun. Though I almost but not quite feel for Clarity. It's barely Chapter 2 already and Clarity gets her behind kick. It's all her fault. Read on to find out.


Clarity in Konoha

Chapter 2: Audio Books, Cracked Nuts, and Angry Management

Well we had to find some way to get Naruto's head unstuck and since Sakura was the one who just launched a crater into my ceiling. I decided she could have the opportunity to pull him out. Sai looked as happy as a kid in a candy store as he did this neat trick of having all that stuff he purchased disappear into a summoning scroll. Seriously, I thought that was pretty cool, but I was too busy finding Naruto some aspirin or something. Murray, however, applauded with wide eyed wonder. His eyes sparkled with glee. Sure it doesn't take much to impress him but sometimes the simpleton support is a wonder in itself. Meanwhile afterwards, I grabbed my to-go case, my art kit, Murray's bag and we were on our way to a continent that I never even heard of.

"Oh wow this is too cool!" Murray beamed as he leaned into the spray of the water's edge. We took a good long journey to the Land of Waves and was just crossing over the 'Naruto Bridge.' The sun had nestled just right on the water's edge for the evening. The mist from the slight rain glittered in the air giving all the boats that were rocking with the waves a kind of ghostly ethereal appearance. So far this place has been an Artistic paradise! No two days were ever the same and each time I went out there with my camera or my sketch pad I'd always find something new that I didn't find yesterday. I even found a neat little audio book to blare out on my I-pod. I know it's not what I usually listen to when I'm out there snapping pictures with my DSLR camera but here I was in the middle of some bridge trying not to let my giggles get the best of me.

"C'mon Kakashi," I giggled, "I know we're halfway there and you've been adamant about this whole "Top Secret" shtick but c'mon, what's this mission everyone's been so excited about?"

Kakashi just kept his nose in a book, his lone eye never wandering. Naruto, peeved about something, hurried up his pace to catch up with Sakura and suddenly start talking about whatever noodles were on some Ichiraku menu. The only thing left was Sai. Hey sometimes the best nut is a hard to crack nut and seeing that Sai was the only dude to lag behind. I decided to take a good crack at cracking him.

"So . . . Eh . . . Sai," I asked while taking one of the ear phones out of my ears and allowing it to dangle, "You're the artist in the group?"

". . . mmhmm . . ."

Still nothing, but I remembered the gleam in his eye when he bought all that art stuff and I was guessing Naruto was also yelling something about artists in the shop. So if a real smile meant he was extra happy. Then I wonder what other expression I could get out of him?

"You know every time you put on that blank slate of a mask you're wearing," I pondered as I noted a slight crawl in his otherwise professional step, "I can tell you're hiding something."

All four ninja stopped right there dead in their tracks. Yes I can't beat around the bush as much as Murray can but observing things is what an artist does anyway. Sai in particular showed no emotion whatsoever. Like I said, blank slates can really tell you when you're lying about something and Sai was probably drilled to hide his feelings. I guess trying to express them, at least for him anyways, must've always been a problem.

Sai decided to carefully counter this by saying, "You were hired to paint not poke your nose where it doesn't belong."

"Yeah c'mon Claire," Murray begged as he tugged on my sleeve, "It's ninja stuff all right so don't worry about it."

"My nose isn't poking," I stammered, "Good grief it's pecking at a brick wall."

It's true, I hate being kept in the dark and it drives me wild, not to mention makes me hard to handle when no one knows me well enough or knows me well enough to be frightened anyway.

"A wall?" Naruto asked as if I'd actually bash a real wall with my nose.

Okay now we were getting somewhere, my first nut clammed up and my second nut just cracked. Albeit Naruto's cracking was more like the Grand Canyon breaking wind but the only thing I wanted to get was a rise out of anyone next to me. So I decided to make Naruto my next target since quick tempers come in spades.

"Oh really and does that mean you always go back on your word?" I asked, praying not to be killed, "As a demon, a monster, or would that be a dead last promise breaker-"

Naruto lunged and threw me like a rag. He did not let go. I slammed into some siding. Felt my head bleed. Naruto's cerulean eyes flashed Cadmium red as those whisker marks deepened and a couple fangs framed his horrid snarl. Kakashi had his arms pinned around Naruto, praying he wouldn't kill me! Sakura looked flabbergasted and as for Sai, that was the first time I ever saw his jaw drop in my life. Murray looked nervous as he gingerly tried to squeeze between Naruto and myself.

I, being the hee-haw, raised my hand to stop him by saying, "Hold on, Murray I want to hear what this kid calmly has to say."

Naruto puffed and breathed with every ounce of self control in his being. Kind of like if the incredible hulk downed slim fast only not so green around the gills.

"You can slam me down all you want but I always keep my word, I never give up," Naruto seethed, "because that is my nindo, my ninja way."

Note to self: I didn't know Ninjas even had a code of honor.

Still that whole outburst suddenly made me feel guilty. Yeah I know I'm no heroine but besides almost getting a death blow to the face by a sixteen year old demon container. I finally realized where Sai kept calling me "You Harpy," since I met these Ninjas. Jeez I even feel like such a . . . harpy.

"Okay, okay Naruto," I apologized in the soothing voice I used for only my most dangerous customers y'know whiny kids and their angry moms. I decided to use this to save my toucas for once. "I'm sorry Naruto I really am."

I kind of kept the part of pushing everyone's buttons on purpose to myself.

"C'mon Naruto look at me," I said as his eyes darted ready to explode, "Look at me."

I had his attention which was a good sign right?

"I'm sorry for poking my nose where it doesn't belong." I crooned and in a slow flutter of a few eye blinks Naruto suddenly wobbled off balance and from the way he went grinning from ear to ear meant he was back to normal. I wasn't dead either. Hooray for me- I mean us!

Sakura slammed her fist into my noggin hard enough for me to hit the dirt before yelling, "YOU IDIOT! Can't you think before you act?"

"I did," I admitted as I got off the floor, "Because you guys still won't tell me anything!"

"So?" Naruto sneered, still ticked off, "Is making anyone mad going to get you any information at all?"

Naruto had a point; this whole crack-a-nut plan was going nowhere fast. I still had to pump these guys for information. Couldn't there have been something easy to exploit? Naruto's temper was a bad idea, Sai would just clam up, and Sakura already about put a hole through my face. I still couldn't figure out what to do when Murray had been trying to get my attention for the past five minutes when we came off the bridge.

"Oi Clairityyyyy," Murray cooed as he poked at my sore noggin, "Oh Claire . . . H-hey Claire!"

"Hm . . . What?" I asked as I eventually got woken from my musings by someone tugging at my ear phones. Apparently Naruto's never seen me in thinker-mode or he wouldn't have my headphones dangling between his fingertips.

Yet the next most embarrassing line to come out of my I-pod was . . .

"Do you love me?"

Awkward silence filled the air as crickets chirped in for comical effect. The whole group stopped once again. I couldn't see Kakashi's lazy eye widen in recognition but I could see his shoulders hunched over as he flipped through pages. He turned toward me, my face went beet red. He flipped through the book again, snapped it shut, and looked at me with the most evil eyed lazy grin beneath the mask on his face.

"You've been reading Make Out Tactics haven't you?" Kakashi beamed.

Shock sat on Naruto's and Sakura's faces. Sai had a carefully blank one to mask his mirth. Murray's eyes registered with a dumb gaze between Kakashi and myself. Sure I was a little embarrassed but the joke was no big deal. In fact, I already knew about it being an adult erotica novel wrote by some dude named Jiraiya.

"eh-heh, well," I nervously laughed as I raised my arms above my head, "It just so happens to be a little research into some of this continent's pop culture. I mean the Come Come Paradise series seems to be popular here so I'm kind of a newbie to the series?"

"Dude that's just wrong," Naruto grimaced, "Ow!" It was my turn to give him a sharp tap on his noggin.

"Au contraire," I remarked, "You don't always have to be a pervert to enjoy steamy literature."

"Well the guy who wrote it was a pervert," Naruto remarked as if he knew the author well, "He was a big one."

"But how do pervy books relate to the Ninja Mission?" Murray stupidly asked; he did not quite catch on to the conversation.

Which Naruto stupidly replied, "Nah it's not related, we need to repair some weird painting having to do with the Uchiha and the five great Shinobi Nations but it's scattered throughout the earth and we need an artist's help to track it down."

Again everyone stopped with shock but this time it was Naruto that Sakura mercilessly wailed upon. Sai gave a fake cheery grin and Kakashi gave an exhausted sigh. I would've laughed myself silly if not for my surprise about Murray. How did he crack that nut?

"You know Naruto we were supposed to keep Harpy Lady in the dark about this." Sai hissed as he mentioned me which left me another problem to ruffle my feathers.

"Okay before this story gets any more interesting I want to let you know that I'm not a harpy lady alright? If you're going to call me any nicknames than call me Claire because I don't appreciate name calling." I huffed.

"Um . . . Well . . . I . . ." Sai stuttered. Of course I should've noted that Sai never reads social situations well. I mean he must've been one of those guys that trained just to be a ninja and nothing else which meant no social skills, little to any everyday commonsense, and that kind of aura about him that made you wonder whether you wanted to hug him or kill him.

My burning glare must've pulled something behind those ink blank pupils because Sai ended up giving me this piteous look. He turned his onyx orbs away; his hand resting on the ninja scroll like it was some sort of gun before I grabbed his wrist and firmly squeezed it.

"Look I know I'm not a ninja and I know you want to keep me in the dark for my safety but do you really think attacking a civilian like myself is a good idea?" I fumed, yeah that was me going up against a professional artsy warrior, crazy no? "I don't know any jutsu and the only knowledge I have is a bunch of history and architecture. You sure you want to go against me because if you kill me you'll fail this mission. Now look me in the eyes and promise you won't kill me!"

Sai looked at Sakura and Naruto for a plea of help. Kakashi had his face in his hands. Since he saw that the protectee was still pushing all sorts of buttons with her protectors. Sakura looked shock, Naruto looked mad, and just before Naruto could grab me Sai squeaked.

"I SAID LOOK AT ME!" I roared.

Sai was putty in my hands as he squeaked, "I promise not to kill you."

I went from mad one moment to glad the next when Sai finally looked at me face to face.

"See," I chided as I just tried my best to put my arms around all four of my new Ninja pals who still didn't get over the shock of my outrage, "Things are a lot easier when you don't keep scary secrets from friends."

"Oh yeah and speaking of secrets," Murray happily enthralled, "Kakashi just took your I-pod, Clarity, hope you don't need it for a while."


Next up is Chapter 3: Clarity Meets the Ninja Nine

Clarity has arrived into Konoha along with Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi and Murray. Of course we all remember the rookie nine and Hokage #5 right? What will Clarity's first impression of meeting the Gondaime Hokage herself? What will Murray's impression be on the rookie nine when they burst into the room? Clarity accidentally makes a ding-a-ling move that she later panics over after she realizes what she's done.