Kitsune Chronicles: Never Put All Your Kitsune In One Village
By: .Blood.Engel.Yuzuki.
Dedicated To CrystalKitsune, for letting me humiliate her.
Summary: A girl accidentally stops Sasuke from joining Orochimaru, hence bringing the wrath of Sound upon her. But once Akatsuki gets involved she is pulled into War. And all she wants to do is go home! (And some caffeine.)
This chapter is late because no one REVIEWED!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-;
Chapter Two: Giving Gaara Grief
"…So you expect me to believe that you are from another world?"
"Yes."
"And in this other world, you know me from a fictional series of books?"
"They're called Manga, and yes."
"… …And you think Haruno Sakura and I would make a good couple?"
"Yes."
"And you are absolutely sure you aren't here to analyze our ninja for Sound?"
"Yes." Kitsune repeated, a bit more anxious as she looked into the piercing, dark rimmed aquamarine eyes of the redhead Kazekage.
Gaara, true to his reputation was unreadable, but Suteishii, who was standing guard at the door, raised an eyebrow and wore an overdramatic "WTF?!" face.
Kuro sighed, looked at her watch and said monotonously, "I need to get back to my team. Call me if you need me."
"…Suteishii, you didn't loose the Uchiha too did you?"
Suteishii put on a pouting face at her Kazekage's lack of faith of her abilities as a Special Jounin. Gaara seemed un-amused, so she opted for a more appropriate frown and answered with a simple, "No; and I sent a message to the Hokage telling her that I found him, but she has yet to reply."
Gaara nodded his head, apparently pleased with the answer and told Suteishii to inform him if she found out anything, then gave her a miniature lecture on keeping the Uchiha in sight that consisted of the words, "Don't loose him, or else."
"…Or else what?"
"I'll think of something, and rest assured you won't like it."
"Okay." Suteishii agreed, letting the matter go and turning to leave when Gaara spoke again.
"Suteishii."
"Yes?" The girl answered innocently.
"You forgot your charge."
Suteishii face-planted and took Kitsune by the wrist before getting through the halls, down the stairs, and out the doors of the Kazekage building at record speed.
"Suteishii?" Kitsune asked, and was rewarded with a curious glance.
"I think I'm melting."
Suteishii coughed twice, before noticing Kitsune was perspiring (because girls don't sweat, the perspire!) from the unnatural heat that loomed over Sunakagure like a thick fog. Slowly, she grabbed some ice water from off of a food stand and stared at it, then Kitsune…
Gaara's P.O.V.
He was gradually getting back into the rhythm of signing what seemed to be an endless stack of papers when he heard a familiar voice that he preferred to hear as few times a day as possible, mainly because the user of said voice usually used it to be (in her own way) a menace.
Honestly, he didn't want to kill Suteishii…He just wanted her to not be alive anymore. (He had convinced himself that there was a difference.)
"SHE'S MELTING!!! SHE'S MELTING!!!" Suteishii yelled, the Kitsune girl behind her looking rather warm and…wet?
"KAZEKAGE-SAMA!!!" The next thing he knew Suteishii was literally on his desk yelling at him and shaking his shoulders. "SHE'S MELTING!!! THE HEAT IS GETTING TO HER!!! SHE CAN'T STAY IN SUNAKAGURE!!!"
It took a minute for Gaara to gather his bearings after the unexpected contact (complete with outburst) before he finally found his wits and used his sand to restrain Suteishii, looking at the blonde girl standing behind her.
"…You poured water on her."
"She's melting." Suteishii argued defiantly, but shut up when some of the sand got near her mouth.
Gaara sighed. "You're asking me to get her somewhere else to stay, aren't you?"
"Yes...it will endanger her sanity if she stays with me."
"Just. Let. Me. Get. Back. To. Miserably. Signing. Papers!" Gaara said, scooping the two girls up with his sand and chucking them out the (conveniently placed) window in his office.
"…Shimatta…" Suteishii sulked. "You'll just have to stay with me."
The two of them stopped by the hospital and ended up literally dragging Sasuke over to Suteishii's house. When they finally got there, Suteishii knocked him out, tied him up, and locked him in the basement. "Just to be safe." Suteishii chimed.
She then proceeded to grab a bunch of blankets and two pillows from the closet and throw them on the floor. "I'll sleep in the living room with you, so I can hear the Uchiha if he finds a way of that prison...er...cellar."
Suteishii turned on the TV to see if there was any interesting news on, and when she saw none, she decided to watch some "reality ninja TV". Kitsune also watched the ninja try to do normal things, like cook a meal, clean a house, and sew. It didn't go well.
"I wish we could just be stranded on a dangerous island for a month, because that I am reaaaaaally good at." said one Mist nin.
Soon she and Suteishii got bored of that, changed the channel, and started watching three Daimyo trying to decide which nin from which village could sing the best. Kitsune thought that it looked awfully familiar.
After tiring of "Ninja Idol" Suteishii and her ate basically everything in Suteishii's fridge and Kitsune found herself an interesting book to read.
It had a bunch of articles on demons, and she found a really cool sounding fox demon called, "Gin'iro Kitsune no Kyuubi" Which she roughly translated as: "silver fox demon of nine tails"
Suteishii pointed out a telekinetic Kyuuketsuki demon called "Yuzuki Kyuuketsuki", or "Vampire Yuzuki".
Kitsune was close to finishing the book, on a chapter about a werewolf without a definite name when she had the sudden urge to ask Suteishii if she had always been a sand nin.
"Nope. That just kinda...happened."
"..."
"Eh...I'll start from what I remember..."
She had a migraine, she was tied up somewhere in a desert, and she had no idea who she was, where she was, or where in the world she had come from.
Her only clue was the piece of paper in front of her that was addressed to someone named 'Suteishii' and the Kanji for 'bad' tattooed on her lower abdomen.
So she could be either Aku Suteishii or Suteishii Aku. She wasn't sure which.
She read the paper over again, wondering if perhaps she missed something the first fifty times she had gone over it.
Dear Suteishii,
I hope you die.
Lots of love,
Your Village
Nope, it was pretty to the point.
Suddenly a strong gust of wind came out of nowhere and blew her paper away (and it also blew some sand into her mouth). She noticed what looked like a really, really big fan with some people on it flying away. Then she heard someone-an elderly man probably-say something. Slowly the fan drooped down, and she faintly heard/felt some people talking, poking her, and generally trying to see if she was still alive.
"My name is Baki. Who are you?" One of them said, after shooing the girl with the fan, and the weird guy with make up away, to a respectable distance like the other with red hair.
"…I'm either Aku Suteishii or Suteishii Aku. I'm not sure which."
"Where are you from?"
"…I don't know." She passed out then.
Next thing she could remember, she had still had a migraine, she wasn't tied up, but instead laying on a bed somewhere, she had no idea if she was Aku Suteishii or Suteishii Aku, where exactly she was, or where in the world that redhead guy had suddenly come from. on my bed."
"…Okay."
"Temari didn't tell me she put you on my bed."
"…"
"…"
"…cough."
"…"
"Eh…you have a nice…uh...gourd?"
The redhead blinked twice and left, going past Kankuro, who was laughing uncontrollably.
"…What did I say?" Suteishii asked herself, before focusing on the guy standing in the doorway. "...You're wearing make up..." She pointed out.
Kankuro immediately stopped laughing and furrowed his brow in annoyance. "It's not make up, it's face paint."
"...Are you a drag queen?"
"..." Karasu appeared, and Kankuro's killing intent rivaled the Kyuubi no Kitsune's.
Suteishii looked disturbed, staring at the puppet, then it's owner. "Is that like some kind of gross fetish blow-up doll?"
Kankuro was so pissed off he actually pushed his precious puppet out of the way and shoved Suteishii, so she fell on the ground. He figured, since he was a ninja, he could get away with beating up a girl...as long as he could figure out a better excuse than, "She injured my pride."
As Suteishii lay, somewhat puzzled, on the floor she saw Kankuro's creepy face looming above her. (Since he was standing on Gaara's bed.)
She yelled the first thing that she thought would get someone's attention...
"RAPE!!!"
Kankuro anime face-planted, just before Temari came in, looked at the scene and started hitting Kankuro with her fan. A lot.
Suteishii figured now would be a good time to hide under bed.
So she did.
Turns out Baki had sensed her chakara as he and his team were coming home from the Chuunin exams, and decided to check it out. Suteishii remembered a grand total of nothing about her life before that, but, after getting in (another) fight with Kankuro for calling him a drag queen, Baki realized that she was probably around Chuunin level.
So he pulled some strings (because Gaara's sensei can do that kinda stuff) and got her on a two-person Chuunin team. The sensei was Fai D. Flowright, a man he wasn't quite sure what to think of, and his two students were Aka Kuro and Yakama (hill) Phillip.
And after a lot of (not so) hard work, she was now a Special Jounin, Kuro was a Jounin and had her own team, and good ol' Phil was lord only knows where. (A Shinobi Hunter's missions are classified information after all, as he put it.)
And everyone always thought Ashura's blonde student Fai was less talented than Kurogane and Yoko.
...Actually, considering the way Suteishii had taken after him so well...maybe he was sort of...odd.
Kitsune woke up at five the next morning. As always. Suteishii was singing "The Song That Never Ends" quietly, in her sleep.
Kitsune tried to get her thoughts together about all that had happened. She came to the conclusion that she REALLY, REALLY wanted to go to Konoha-not just because it was burning hot in Suna, but also because then she could meet Naruto!
She figured Suteishii was causing Gaara enough trouble by herself.
Plus, Naruto could be like the brother she never had.
"This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends! Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was! They'll continue singing it forever just because..."
"SHUT UP!!!"
"...I just had the weirdest dream." Suteishii announced, springing up from her temporary resting place also known as the floor.
"...Did it have anything to do with the song that never ends?" Kitsune asked tiredly.
"Yeah..."
Kitsune sighed and buried her head in a pillow.
"...This is the song that never ends..."
Kitsune twitched, and decided she needed to get away from Suteishii as soon as possible
After a shower and a change of clothes, Suteishii had agreed to take Kitsune to go see Kuro and her team, because she had to go on a dangerous mission formally known as convincing Gaara that his only sister and Shikamaru could date.
Kitsune wished her luck, and figured she'd probably never see the girl again. Well, actually, maybe a splotch of blood here and there.
Kitsune was wearing Suteishii's clothes. Which, by the way, were very uncomfortable and didn't fit at all. That, combined with the fact that she looked like some kind of emo punk in them put her at a very irritated level of being.
She noticed people staring at her ears, and whispering around her and her temper flared even more. Luckily, she then noticed what must have been Kuro's team, considering Kuro was with them.
First of all there was a shy, tanned looking girl who looked a bit nervous. She was smiling in a bit of a strained way, and she wore a neutral tan jacket that was fully buttoned, with sleeves that came to her skinny elbows, revealing fishnet. She also had pair of faded jeans, and some dark blue sandals. Her hair was straight black, as well as her eyes. She was short compared to the others, maybe about five feet.
The other was more out-going, and looked a bit hyper. Maybe a tad clueless. She was wearing a red Chinese dress with a pair of what looked like black dance pants underneath. She had her hair down like the other, but her hair was a blonde colour with reddish brown highlights in it. She was smiling happily and laughing at something she herself had said. She was an inch shorter that Suteishii, making her a grand total of five feet, two inches.
The last one had a haughty, perfectionist air to her. Her hair was light brown, short and extremely curly. All of her clothes matched and coordinated perfectly. Even her shurinken holster matched her headband, shoes, and shirt to a 'T'. Kitsune wondered if maybe she had a headband of every colour so she could match all day, every day. Either way, her white and blue flowered blouse and perfectly pressed jeans, along with her expression, gave her a no-nonsense, "do-it-properly" aura. She was Kitsune's height, five foot four, and therefore an inch shorter than Kuro.
All three wore Suna hitai-ite around their necks.
"Kitsune-san," Kuro called, and upon getting said girl's attention continued. "This is Umi Ami-chan," the shy girl gave a small, nervous wave. "Radford Erika-chan," the girl in red smiled and waved. "And Akane Burii-chan." the perfectionist gave a smile and a curtious 'hi'.
Kitsune once again recognized more people who reminded her of her friends, but bit her lip to keep from mentioning anything about it.
"Ami-chan, and Erika-chan are both twelve years old, Burii-chan is thirteen, and they are my Genin team. We're getting ready for the up-coming Chuunin exams here in Suna, to ratify the official alliance between Sunakagure and Konoha." Kuro explained.
"It's a bit odd to have a sensei who's only two years older that you." Burii-chan cut in, before Kuro could speak anymore.
"I think that's the excuse Kazekage-sama gives to Suteishii whenever she says it'd be cool to have a team. Considering, Burii-chan, that she's your age. But it's probably really because she can barley take care of herself, let alone a group of rookie ninja."
"That's not true!" Erika-chan spoke up. "Suteishii-sempai is nice, and responsible, and she buys me ice cream!" (BRIBED!!!)
Everyone just kind of...sweat-dropped.
"Um...anyways, it's good that she's working with Kazekage-sama because then he can keep an eye on her..." Kuro went on.
"And they would make a cute couple." Erika-chan chimed in.
"I don't think so." Burii-chan said, trying to make sure the girl didn't get too ahead of herself.
Kitsune literally had nothing to say.
Nothing.
I don't know what you're waiting for.
Meanwhile, In Konoha
Ookami Keiti sat at the Ichiraku, with her other teammates. Aguuyh Arianna, and Yamanaka Britt. Around a day ago they got back from their very first 'C- rank' mission, which was escorting a Genin team from Mist to Konoha for the Chuunin exams.
The group they had escorted was nice, but rather disappointed their sensei, "Burton-sensei", as they called her could not join them. Their names were Misti, Risa, and Kim. They had immediately gone to go see Hokage-sama, but the thing that creeped them out was that, while Keiti and Arianna had been on the look out while walking through Konoha forest, they saw what looked like one of Naruto's "Sexy Jutsu" gone wrong.
She looked a lot like Naruto. But she couldn't have been one of his inappropriate henge-jutsus because a) she was fully clothed, and b) she had fox ears.
So they sat, waiting for Naruto to finish his training with Jiraiya and tell him about the weird apparition that had disappeared with a violent wave of sand.
They later found out that the sand had been there because the Kazekage had been informed that Uchiha Sasuke had gone missing, and agreed to help look for him with his special...talent.
Keiti slurped her ramen down when she heard someone running up to the Ichiraku. She looked back and saw a grinning Naruto. "Hey guys, guess what?! Tsunade-baba said that she got a letter from Gaara and he says he found Sasuke and he's 'in fairly good hands'! ...Whatever that means."
Gaara sighed again, and read his reply to Tsunade-san over once more. Often times, he would have preferred to let Suteishii write the letter. Not that his handwriting was illegible or anything, but his hand got way too tired to write a decent reply. So he decided to write as quickly and summarize everything he had to say...even if it may not make much sense in the end.
Just as he had finished the letter, and was rubbing his cramped hand, he heard Suteishii walk in. "I left the Kitsune-girl with Kuro-chan and her team." She announced, yawning. "I figured I'd come around here to check up on you, and see if you needed me to write a reply to Hokage-san."
Gaara blinked his tired eyes twice, before staring at his hastily written note, crumpling it up, and chucking it at Suteishii, who caught it. Suteishii smoothed the paper out and began reading. "...You spelled 'sincerly' wrong."
Gaara twitched, and Suteishii shut up and asked the Kazekage what he wanted her to write it the new letter.
Kitsune sat at the "Machi Raku" with Kuro and her team, eating some shrimp. She had tried to keep up with the students as best she could, but Kuro was a fast-paced teacher and was already trying to teach them some advanced Ninjutsu techniques. Probably for the Chuunin exams.
Kitsune had, however, been able to perform a few simple Academy Level jutsu, such as Henge, Kawarimi, and Bushin no Jutsu. She had attempted to use Cancel for one of Erika's Genjutsu but that simply didn't work out. Hence, she figured it was time to work on Chakara control; by trying to walk up a wall. (FYI: that didn't work either.)
Kuro said it was surprising she could even do that much.
However, the blonde's thoughts were put aside once she noticed that Suteishii was walking over to them, smiling and waving. "Ohayo, minna!" As she was Suteishii approaching, Erika got up, and poked said Special Jounin. In return, Suteishii poked back and ignored any further poking. "Kazekage-sama wants to see Kuro-chan, and Kitsune-san as soon as possible."
Kuro nodded and followed Suteishii back to the Kazekage building, Kitsune in tow.
As soon as they arrived they went into Gaara's office and were greeted by a very angry looking Sasuke, who was held by Karasu as Kankuro scowled, Temari, who was smirking at her brother's discomfort, and of course Gaara, who was holding two scrolls.
"I have received a message from the Hokage-san," he motioned to one of the scrolls he was holding, "and she asks for us to bring not only the Uchiha Sasuke, but also Kitsune-san to Konohakagure. I've decided to send Kuro, Suteishii, and Temari to escort them there, and stay in the village until further notice." Gaara explained.
"Yet I was dragged along anyway." Kankuro muttered, earning a grin from Suteishii.
Gaara gave his sister the other scroll and continued, pointedly glaring a Kankuro. "Temari will use her fan to get you all there faster. Suteishii, I want you to take care of Kitsune-san and the Uchiha. Kuro will take care of any minor threats you may run into on the way. You have around five minutes to be off." Kuro, Temari, and Suteishii nodded and went outside to go get their stuff, leaving Kitsune, Kankuro, and Sasuke waiting not so patiently for the threesome to return.
When the three did return, Temari had her fan with her, as well as a large duffle bag, and was wearing a white off-the-shoulder cotton shirt and a skirt to match, along with a fishnet undershirt and thigh-highs, completed with her normal shoes and hairstyle.
Kuro was wearing a blood red shirt with sleeves that cut off at the elbow, revealing black fishnet, wrist length gloves with no fingers, and black pants. She had a large, black backpack with two red stripes going down each side.
Suteishii had a black jacket that reached her thighs and dark blue capriis, along with a black choker and a thick-strapped green backpack slung over one shoulder. The backpack had a few scrolls and weapon pouches in clear view.
Gaara handed Suteishii the scroll and she put it in one of the slots in her backpack, near the largest scroll, which was very old looking and the parchment on it seemed worn.
Kitsune followed the three kunoichi out the door, and was followed by Kankuro, Karasu, and the muttering Sasuke.
Kankuro went with them until they reached the outskirts of the village, and Suteishii used the Kanashibari no Jutsu (Body Freeze Skill) on Sasuke after forcing him to sit on Temari's fan. At Kuro's insistence, Kitsune also sat down on the fan, and Suteishii and Kuro jumped on either side of her and Sasuke as they waited for Temari to get the fan flying. Kankuro made Karasu wave goodbye for him haphazardly, and said: "Keep the Aku-brat out of trouble."
Suteishii stuck her tongue out and replied by calling Kankuro, "Baka."
"Catty." Kankuro retorted.
As the five finally flew off, Suteishii yelled over the wind.
"DRAG QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They heard Kankuro screaming for three whole minutes before his voice finally faded. It took, what Kitsune saw as around five hours of endless sand, to finally reach Konoha. When they did she was grinning like a mad woman. Temari set them down near the Hokage building and they all walked inside, pushing Sasuke up to the Hokage-san's office.
When they did get there, Kuro and Temari went in first, quickly followed by a shoved Sasuke. As soon as she saw Sasuke's face, Tsunade looked truly pissed.
Kuro and Temari stood near Tsunade's desk as she scolded Sasuke, knocked him out, and put him in the corner. "Now, stay in your emo-corner and think about what you almost did!!!" She yelled, probably halfway drunk by now.
Suteishii went in the door and coughed twice, closing the door after Kitsune.
Tsunade's eyes widened once they landed on Kitsune.
"...This must be the kid Kazekage-san mentioned..."
End of Chapter 2.
I Do Not Own Naruto.
Next Chapter:
Chapter Three: Leaf, Sound, And Sasuke
Oh yeah, and my friend says: "hello my name is kate"...Fine, she's Kate now...
