Chapter three

Rick was absorbed, just listening to Kate lost in the story she was telling him. She was going all about her life as detective and later as captain. He couldn't stop thinking that, otherwise, beautiful and smart women like her become layers not cops. He wanted to know why. What drove her to be a cop. He knew that there was always a chain of events that made everything seems right and he ought to find out what was hers. What turned her into a monster.

Media told her story, of course. However, it didn't tell it in all the minimum details. Of course, they dissected her personal and professional life, but he couldn't remember of something that could had started that trigger. It just wasn't there. He knew both her parents were dead but, nobody told him what happened to them. Her mom died when she was 19, and her dad, when she was 23. Nothing more were told.

Looking into her eyes, he could see that she was hurt, that there was some pain residing deep inside her. He knew that she had suffered somehow, and that that left a scar so profound that she couldn't get rid of it. Yes, she was wounded, but she wasn't that wounded.

"Why?"

He couldn't wait any longer, so he just cut her mid-sentence.

"Why what?"

She was confused.

"Why did you became a cop? Good-looking and smart women like you become layers, not police officers. What happened?"

She was still confused and intrigued by his question.

"You tell me Rick, you are the novelist."

"Well, you're not Bridge and Tunnel, no trace of the boroughs when you talk, so that means Manhattan. That means money. You went to college. A pretty good one. You had options. Yeah, you had lots of options. Better options. More socially acceptable options. And you still chose to become a cop. That tells me something happened. Not to you, you're wounded, but you're not that wounded. It was someone you cared about. It was someone you loved. And you probably could have lived with that, but the person responsible was never caught. And, that Beckett, is why you're here."

Kate's eyes went wide. She had struck a deal when she turned herself in. She struck a deal with the DA and they would keep a lot of information away from the press. Her mom's case would never be brought to light, neither for a briefly mention. She was sure it was never on any news forecast. Her layer would had let her know if someone spoke about it, wouldn't he?

Sure, he was the worst layer she had ever met and at some point she decided that she wanted to represent herself during trial. God she wanted to have avoided trial. Just a hearing to the sentence was good, but not, the DA, 1PP and the mayor's office were out for her blood. But her stupid layer had that one agreement, to keep he mother's case out of the news, if he was able to do that until her execution, he was going to win big time.

So, how could Castle had known that something happened to her. That someone she loved was murder and, just like all her victims, the responsible never paid for it. Well, she had agreed with full disclosure of the case, but she wasn't sure if he have had access to all the investigation files.

With his connections, it was almost sure as hell he had been granted full access to it. She knew he was friends with the mayor. She had seen pictures of them together on Page Six several times. She had even briefly met with him in one of the galas she was obligated to attend as part of her duty, to do network. Their conversation was nothing more than "hello" and "nice to me you" and he obviously didn't remembered her. However, she didn't know if his friendship with the mayor would be enough to grant him full disclosure.

"It was your dad, right?"

He was fishing. Trying to get the answer when she didn't say another word. He was right. It all started because someone close to her was kill and never brought to justice. But who? Neither of her parents' death cause were make clear to the media. All they told was that they were dead. Nothing else. So, he was definitively fishing.

"What?"

She was confused again. Why he thought it was because of her dad that she had become a cop?

"It was because of your father's death that you became a cop?"

"No. What made you think that it was because of my dad?"

Her voice broke that time, filled with sorrow. Pain floating on her words. Her eyes, lost the light they had acquired when she began to talk about the good old days on the homicide squad. She seemed so small, so defenseless right now. All he wanted to do was take her into his arms and keep her there. Protect her.

Castle opened his mouth a few time but no words came out. The way she was looking at him, with those wounded eyes, just robbed him from all of his words. Believe it or not, him, Richard Castle, best-selling author was in a lost from words.

Well, he was also afraid that she would take what he did as an intrusion to her privet life; nevertheless, it was already done.

"The watch."

He manage to say finally.

"What watch?"

"The one you had with you when you were arrested and is on personal belongings. I saw that you were wearing it in many pictures. It's a man's watch."

"How… You went throw my belongings?"

She seemed pissed. She seemed really pissed.

"That is privet!"

She practically screamed, fighting with the cuffs that cut through her skin a little. Catching the attention of the guard who just cleared his throat signing her to calm down.

He could tell that she felt outraged.

"Well… In my defense, you granted me full access…"

"Not to my things. Not to my belongings."

"I needed to see it."

"Why?"

Well, she was definitively pissed with his intrusion.

"To build your character! I needed to know every little detail of who you are."

"I am a psychopath. That's all you need to know! You didn't have to go through my things."

There was a brief silence between them. Somehow, those minutes of silence were really awkward.

"I am sorry!"

Castle finally said. Head down.

"I know it was an intrusion. I shouldn't had done that. I am sorry."

He really seems to be sorry.

"It is okay. You didn't know…"

She was staring at her hands now. Avoiding his gaze. Afraid that he would be able to see through her. Afraid that she would let him in.

"It was my father's watch."

He looked at her, trying to find her eyes, but he kept staring her hands cuffed to the table and the small red mark that was starting to settle from where the cuffs were biting her soft skin.

"He died shortly after my mom. He actually killed himself."

"I'm so, so very sorry to hear that."

She looked quickly to his eyes, but shortly after avert her gaze to stare the links of the handcuffs, with which her fingers were playing.

"He took her death so hard that he started to drink. I had to drop Stanford to try helping him, but I lost the battle. One day I arrived at home after a long night shift and he had just hanged himself on the middle of the leaving room."

She pushed back some tears that wanted to leave her eyes.

"I moved out not long after my mom's death. Actually, I was practically kicked out. It was too painful for my father to see me every day. Every time he look at my face, he remembered mom… So, he took the coward's way out…"

Castle was quite. He had lost his words again.

"But it was long after I decided to join the force."

She was looking back at him now.

"So, it was your mom? There was a ring on a necklace too…"

"Yeap… two mementos that reminded me every single day the lives I lost because of him…"

Castle took a deep breath.

"What happened to her?"

"She was stabbed in an alley in Washington Heights. I was back for Thanksgiving and we were supposed to have dinner together. My dad, my mom and I. She was going to meet us at the restaurant but she never made. Two hours later, dad and I found a detective, Reglan, waiting for us at our door. They told it was gang related. Random… but I knew it wasn't. No one was ever arrested for it."

He could see rage taking over her eyes, spreading throw her face. Some lingering pain that fighting back the rage and losing. He could see that she was turning into something else, The Monster, as she referred herself, taking control. Her face was blank. Not even a sign of the pain she was just feeling seconds ago. Her eyes completely emotionless. The serial killer, cold-blooded psychopath taking place again.

"And that, Mister Castle…"

Even her voice, once sweet, seemed different. Distant. Maniac.

"Is why I am here!"

Again, thanks for reading everyone. sorry for the mistakes, i have been fighting a flu on the last couple of day and couldn't proofread it thoroughly. let me know what you are thinking (even if you hate this serial killer version of Beckett). xo