Chapter 3: A car ride

Thanks again for your nice words, I had a pleasure reading your ideas on the continuation of the story. Please keep reviewing, it's always nice to get an email with another fanfic review :D That's it for now, enjoy! Xxx

'Hartford.' Rory said as she placed herself more comfortable in the car seat.

'Is it a specific place?' Jess asked, turning the car up the highway.

'Yeah, you could say that.' Rory felt nervous again. She couldn't explain why, but for some reason the idea of people finding out scared her. The fact that it was Jess who could find out scared her even more.

'So, you'll tell me where to go when we arrive in Hartford, I presume? Since you don't want to tell me.'

Rory nodded and looked ahead. The drive to Hartford remained almost entirely quiet. Rory could feel Jess look at her every once in a while, and at those moments, she tried her best to look away. But sometimes, she could feel her eyes lose track and slowly make its way to Jess. One time, they accidentally looked at each other at the same time, quickly turning their heads away, acting as if nothing had happened.

Rory felt stupid. This shouldn't be so hard, should it. She had seen Jess after they had broken up numerous times, and never had it been so awkward as now. What changed?

'I'm making this awkward, aren't I?' Rory heard herself finally say, after 20 minutes of driving in silence. Jess looked up, having been somewhere else with his mind. 'Hm?'

'I said I think I'm making 'this' awkward', she repeated herself.

'Oh, no you're not. Do you feel awkward because I was just thinking of stuff? Enjoying the quietness.'

'Oh, no, well I guess not. I just wasn't sure.'

Jess was quiet again. His face was once again determined on the road. Rory was frustrated. Why did she think this was awkward and he didn't? She wasn't going back to the quietness they had shared for too long.

'So anyways, Jess, you never really told me how long you were going to stay in Stars Hollow this time.'

'No, I didn't. I don't know yet actually.' And then there it was again, the quietness.

Rory was wrecking her brain for the next best thing she could say to keep the conversation going when Jess started speaking again.

'I didn't only come back for Luke and mom. I actually had to be here for work. This friend of mine, from the publisher, he said he needed some research done on small crazy American forgotten towns, so…'

'Stars Hollow was perfect for it.'

'Yup, exactly what I told him. He said to me that if I'd give him solid research he'd give me an interview for this big publisher, nothing compared to the one I'm working at now.'

'Wow, that's really great Jess. I hope you get that interview.'

'Thanks, yeah I guess it is.'

'No but really, how amazing would it be if I knew a guy at a big publisher company.'

'Oh, so you're happy for me for all the wrong reasons, are you now?'

'Not really. But having connections wouldn't really hurt the chances of publishing my book, would it?'

'So, you're writing about your mom?'

'Yeah, I can't believe it's only now that I think about it. It's so easy to write, I-'

Jess started laughing.

'No, really Jess. It's like, all my life, everything I've been writing was a buildup to this. It was like they were preparing me for exactly this, this work. I don't know if you understand but I've never felt so passionate about writing in my entire life. It's like, I've finally found what I have always been cutout to do. It's like actors you know, they sometimes say that there's one character that is so right for them, that when they read the screenplay, they can only picture themselves playing it and would cringe at the thought of anybody else playing that role. It's not exactly the same, but do you see where I'm going at? It's like, I've finally found my character, that only I am capable of playing. I've finally found the story that is mine to tell.'

'You know, I can't wait to read the acknowledgement at the end of your book. 'I'm so grateful for Jess Mariano who gave me the idea of writing this book. Without him, I would never have thought of writing something like this and-'

'You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you for giving me the idea is what I wanted to say.'

'Nah, it's okay. I'm glad I could help you out. You seem determined Rory again, not crazy-I-have-no-underwear-left-Rory.'

'Ha-ha, not funny.'

'Come on, you have to admit, you were freaking out big time. Cannot remember you ever being so freaked out before.'

Those last words hit Rory. She had indeed never been so freaked out before. Agreed, Rory hadn't known she was pregnant when she saw Jess at the newspaper and she had her little meltdown, but still. Not so long after, she had taken the test, and when that little stick showed the plus sign… Let's just say that Jess was right about the fact that she never had been freaked out so much, ever.

'So, where to?' Jess's voice awoke her from her daydreaming. Rory looked up to the passing of a sign that said 'Welcome to Hartford'.

'Well, it's actually real close to Walmart, so you could drive in that direction.'

'Okay', Jess answered. After a minute or three they drove past Walmart.

'Now take a left, and then you can park somewhere.' Jess followed orders and parked the car behind a big tow truck.

'Well um, thanks for bringing me here, Jess. I owe you big time.'

'As I said, no problem. Enjoy your appointment.'

'Thanks.' With that said, Rory left the car and crossed the road. She waved to Jess who waved back. Rory returned her attention to finding the gynecologist's building and the creeping feeling of angst and nervousness that had kicked in the moment she had left the car. There it was, the building. She walked up the small steps in front, heaved a breath as she pressed the doorbell. 'This is it', she whispered as a mechanic sound accompanied the opening of the door. She entered, without glancing back, and was greeted by a young blond woman who-

'Paris?'

'Rory, it's so nice to see you. Come in.' Paris Geller motioned her still shocked friend to follow her down the hallway.

'Paris, what are you doing here?' Rory asked in a high-pitched voice.

'Oh please, you really think I wouldn't know if my best friend made an appointment at a second-rate gynecologist? The moment I saw your name flag on my monitor I knew I had to come. So, who is it?'

'Who is what?'

'The father. It's Jess, isn't it? I saw he dropped you off. Not even a decency to accompany you inside. Do you want me to get him in here? Marcella, go get the thin looking man. He's in that old dangly car. Oh, and don't mind being a bit hard on him, he likes things rough.'

Marcella, Rory's gynecologist who Rory hadn't seen till now, looked frightened from Paris to Rory before making her way to the door.

'Oh no, Paris it's fine. Marcella, you don't need to get him. He's probably long gone and anyway, he's not the father.'

'I knew it. It's Logan isn't it. Never liked that guy. He knocks you up and immediately runs of with that bimbo model, what's her name?'

'Paris, I-'

'Or no, it must be Dean. That makes sense. You lost your virginity to him, and now after all these years, you're finally in the right place at the right moment, and all that other crap and you've decided to start a family. How precious.'

'Um, Paris, how much that I like your theories, I'd like to keep his identity to myself for now.'

'Fine, as you like. Come in, come in. We've a long list of things to discuss. Have you thought of giving it up for adoption because I know that having a baby at your age and your career position isn't really a gold winner, is it? Maybe we could set up an interview…'

Paris kept rattling on, entering Marcella's office. Rory was still in the hallway, dazed by this unforeseen encounter. 'I'm sorry', she said to Marcella who still looked frightened, leaning against the wall. She didn't look up, and Rory felt sorry for her. Rory didn't do anything though because she thought it was best to just follow Paris and go along so to not cause any trouble. She loved Paris, but still, she remained the crazy girl that once had shouted on a panel for the entire school to see 'I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard'.

'So how long have you known you're pregnant? A week, two weeks? Judging by your figure I'd say you are around 4 weeks. Did Lorelai show or was she a slim carrier? At Dynasty Makers, we've actually tested and calculated that women who show less during pregnancy often create more beautiful babies with less chances of heart diseases. In your case, I don't think that you'll have to worry just yet. I mean, we cannot forget however that you are 32 already, but if we look at the most possible suitors for the father, I'd think that all three would do just fine for you to birth a healthy baby.'

Rory was sitting on the bed while Paris was prepping herself for a check-up. Rory had decided to let Paris talk for now, as she was tired of trying to explain Paris that she was actually going to keep the baby at the age of 32, for Paris an age at the boarder of still having beautiful children.

'Open up', Paris said as she gestured Rory to spread her legs. 'So, Rory. Any questions for me?' Rory did what she was told and thought about what she wanted to ask Paris. Before she had arrived at the gynecologist she had hundreds of questions prepared, but seeing it was Paris, she wasn't that keen anymore to ask them all. 'Am I still allowed to drink coffee?', was the first question that didn't seem like one Paris could go on and on about.


It was evening. It had been a long day for Rory. First she had had troubles with the car, then the car ride itself with Jess had been more awkward than she had foreseen. And then not to forget Paris, who is a sweetheart mind you that, but still a lot to handle. After Rory's appointment, she had gone straight to the restaurant Lorelai had suggested for their women's night out. It hadn't been them alone however. Sookie, who had come back for Lorelai's wedding, had asked if she could join since it had been so long ago they had spent time together. Rory had accepted as she really loved Sookie dearly. They had had fun at dinner, but it had not been the mother-daughter quality time she had been craving and she hadn't gotten the opportunity to talk about her crazy gynecologist encounter. They had dropped Sookie off, and now Lorelai's fixed car was pulling in the Gilmore driveway. The car came to a steady halt and the engine died. The radio that had been making crispy sounds the entire journey had now giving up entirely and had reduced to noise only. Lorelai turned it off, and the car was filled with a deathly silence. They sat there for a while, thinking by themselves. It was only after a good five minutes that one of them dared to open their mouths.

'When are you telling the father?', Lorelai asked. It wasn't that she wanted Rory so badly to tell, so that Lorelai could learn the identity but Lorelai had this feeling that if she wouldn't push Rory on it, Rory would never tell the father. She knew her daughter and she knew that she was completely terrified. Heck, Lorelai remembered how she had felt when she figured out she was pregnant at age 16. She had felt so lost and had wished for it to be a bad dream. But then, she told her parents, she told Chris and she understood, that this baby was coming if she wanted it or not. Rory was still staring ahead, gazing at their house. Lorelai reached out her hand, taking Rory's. For a moment, she thought that Rory wasn't going to respond to her mother's touch, but she did. Their fingers intertwined and she felt how grateful Rory was. 'You know, I know that I'm pregnant. I know that in 8 months there will be a baby, and I know that it will be wonderful but I'm still… I still believe that if I don't tell him, this will all just remain a fiction of my imagination. There's so much that I have to think about, and by telling him I feel like it will get even more complicated. I went to dad you know. About two weeks ago. I went to go see him to ask him if he regretted not being a bigger part in my life.'

Lorelai was surprised to learn this. But at the same time, she wasn't. It made so much sense that her daughter would go to the one person who could give her the answer to the biggest worry she had. What to do with the father? It saddened Lorelai that Rory would also not have the mother-father-child experience she had so hoped for Rory to have as she grew up. For Lorelai, it had never been an option, maybe one time, it had been an option for her and Luke, but it hadn't been meant to be. But at least for Rory, she had figured she would find herself a nice guy and create a family together. But now, Rory would step into her mother's footstep and she would be raising the child alone. Lorelai understood Rory's fear now. Lorelai had thought it was about the fact of becoming a mother that scared Rory but now she understood that her daughter would always be ready to become a mother. It was the fact that she was scared to tell the father, the fact that she'd be doing it alone. Rory was scared that her child would get angry at her for this decision, that the father would resent her for it.

'What did Chris say?', Lorelai asked. She was curious. In Lorelai's opinion, it had been the right choice for her to raise Rory alone, but she had never really known what Chris's take was on it. She knew that Chris wanted to be a part of Rory's life, and she had let him. But she didn't know if Chris ever resented her for having made that decision.

'He told me it had been in the cards and no one would ever have gotten between us.'

'That sounds like Chris.' Lorelai chuckled.

'He said that he would never have been able to change your mind. Is he right?'

'I think so kid. From the moment I knew I was pregnant, I envisioned myself being the one to raise you. It was not that I didn't want your father there, but I just didn't see him there. I had this clear image of me raising you, and when I had you, that image was the only thing pulling me through.'

'But do you think that if Dad would have fought harder, you would have let him play a bigger part?'

'I don't think he would ever have fought harder. I was pretty set on doing it alone and he knew that and accepted it.'

'But what if? What if the father does want to be a part of it, but I – you didn't want it. Would you have settled?' Rory's voice was trembling. She hastily looked away, not wanting her mother to see tears rolling over her reddened cheeks.

'Rory, I- Look, for Chris and me it had always been clear. It had never been said but I think we both knew that if it came to that point, I would be the one to take care of you. Your father did not always like it and he tried to make his way in more than once and I let him. But I don't think that either of us ever thought that we were doing the wrong thing by you.'

'But what if he's not like dad? What if I take his chance of being a father away from him, and my kid ends up hating me for it?' Rory's voice had turned small. It was as if she was scared for even thinking this thought.

'Rory, did you hate me for you not giving you a father?'

'No, never.'

'See, hon. I can't look into the future. I don't know how the father would react to it and I don't know how your child will. But if your kid is anything like me or you, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your kid will be lucky to have you, and if you feel like it is better to raise it alone, then you do it your way. The only thing you can do now is tell the father. Stop worrying about how he might respond and what might happen because you don't know. Maybe he will be glad to not become a fulltime dad or maybe he will hate it. But you have 8 months left Rory. You've still got time to figure this out. Tell the father and explain your feelings. If he cares for you at all, he will understand. And if not, you can work things out but sitting here, crushing yourself for something that's not even reality…'

The car was silence once more. Lorelai didn't know if Rory felt better or worse. She softly stroke Rory's hand, waiting for her daughter to respond. 'Thanks mom', she finally whispered. 'You're the best.' She turned around and gave Lorelai a hug. They released each other and Rory took her purse. She opened the door of the car and walked up to the house. Lorelai followed her daughter, closing the car behind her. Rory was waiting by the door, having no key yet since she had been away for so long. Lorelai opened the door, welcomed by light and the sound of a football game that was on TV. 'You girls had fun?', Luke's voice said from the couch. Lorelai made her way to the couch, gave Luke a kiss and placed herself in his arms on the couch. 'It was great', she said with her eyes on Rory who still stood in the hall.

'How was your day?', Rory heard Lorelai ask Luke. Rory was standing the hallway, frozen to the floor.

'Not that special. Had an order that went missing so Taylor had to help me out. Did you know he's a police officer now? Something about Wyatt being on paternity leave. Oh, Jess came by the diner too. Pretty awesome stuff he's doing. He might get an interview at this big publisher.'

Rory heard her mother laugh and she smiled. A warm feeling entered Rory's heart. She was ready. She walked slowly to her room, while taking out her phone from her back pocket. Before opening the door to her bedroom, she looked back to the living one more time where her eyes met with her mother who smiled and gave Rory a little wink. Then she turned around and opened the door. She was finally ready to call him. She heaved a breath as she dialed the number that she had come to know very well over the last couple years. The phone was calling. She could hear the beeping. One beep, another one. Rory looked around at her old room as she waited for the familiar voice to answer. It looked the same as it always had. The stuffed animal in the form of a chicken still lay on her desk. She remembered it as if it was just yesterday when Dean had picked it up. She had been so nervous back then. The first boy she had ever liked, had stood in her room, touching her things. She couldn't believe back then that a boy like him would ever be remotely interested in her, but he was. The window next to her bed had become Dean's favorite place to knock and enter her bedroom. Not to mention the bed, where she had lost her virginity to her first love. Moving back to the desk, where she had sat when she first had met Jess. Jess… was something else. Rory hadn't really liked him at first, because he seemed uninterested and a troubled kid. But after spending some time with him, she got to know this incredible interesting human being, with his heart in the right place. He was the one who first sparked a passion in her. It was because of him that she started thinking of taking the next step. And then, there was Logan. Logan was something else altogether. Their relationship had started off as friends with benefits but had soon evolved in something more deep and pure. An understanding between each other, more meaningful than her previous boyfriends. Logan had been the first and only guy she had ever lived with. At one point, she really did want to marry him, but when he proposed, she had declined. She wasn't ready. Not then.

He picked up. She could hear his breathing through the phone. Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest.

'Hi Ace, what's up?'


Sooo, I don't think the identity of the father was a real shocker. Maybe Paris was a surprise to you as she was for me. I wasn't planning on writing her in, till just a few sentences before. But when the idea entered my mind, I couldn't let it go and I actually ended up liking that little scene between Rory and Paris. She will probably get more page time in chapters to come. Stay tuned for more, because this story is about more than just the hidden identity ;) I'm sorry this update took so long. Was on a holiday and had no time to upload it. Also, I was stuck for a while on how to proceed the story but eventually I felt it was important to get a view on what Lorelai thinks about it. Thanks again for reading anyway! You guys are the best xxx