Thank you for your patience everyone! I had an outline written out for each chapter and the secret/struggle Toni would reveal, but I wanted to make the chapters a little more linear so this is the result. Enjoy!

Chapter Three: Insomnia

"There are worse things than having behaved foolishly in public. There are worse things than these miniature betrayals, committed or endured or suspected; there are worse things than not being able to sleep for thinking about them. It is 5AM. All the worse things come stalking in and stand icily around the bed looking worse and worse and worse".

Fleur Adcock

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"Toni when was the last time you slept?" Pepper's voice broke the silence of the empty boardroom somewhere near her shoulder. It was crisp with a note of frigid disappointment; Toni hated that. The genius shifted her attention away from the New York skyline; rose-gold light spilled over the room, painting the normally mundane grey office a a fiery orange.

"Anyone ever tell you you look hot as hell in this light? Like, I'm crazy jealous over here-"

"Toni".

The engineer huffed petulantly, her smirk cracked slightly.

"Come on Pep, you know me...there's too much to do right now and not enough hours in the day," the excuse was bitter on her tongue and more than a little lacklustre but her tired brain was sluggish in its attempts to connect words to her grinning mouth. Get your shit together Stark, she thought angrily.

"A load of bull Antonia," Pepper sighed, not unkindly, as she collected the notes that were haphazardly scattered across the table; the chaotic spread of information made sense only to the genius as she had performed her piece for the board, glancing down periodically at the papers.

Toni's grin failed for a moment before returning, laboured and brittle.

"Whatever you say Virginia," she sneered, turning away fully in her chair, relishing the momentary stiffening of her chief executive's reflection in the window. Toni wrapped herself in venom and spewed broken glass from her ruby painted lips.

Pepper's postured remained rigid, her mouth set in a grim line, but her blue eyes were creased with worry. "You can still talk to me Tones," she said finally, her words strained and soft, "about anything...you know that right?"

Silence reigned but for the rustle and slap of papers and the clack of Pepper's heels as the redhead finally moved to slip from the room. Toni's eyes moved from the receding image of Pepper before sliding to her own; she abruptly deflated.

"You fucker," she hissed softly to the empty room.

AAA

Toni entered the elevator, rubbing her eyes as she did so. She had poured over the evening again and again as she made her way from Stark Industries back to the Avengers Tower, the genius had opted to walk regardless of the darkening sky and plummeting temperatures. Guilt seeped into her bones, deeper than the frigid november wind. She leaned against the elevator wall heavily.

When had she stopped talking to Pepper? Had it happened gradually, or sooner -more abruptly. When had she started pushing, aggressively shoving really, her friend of so many years away?

She shook slightly and wrapped her arms around herself; the gesture offered little in the way of warmth or comfort.

"Bring a jacket next time idiot," she muttered faintly, blowing hot air into the hands she cupped around her mouth.

"Madam," Jarvis spoke suddenly, startling her; Toni's ears grew hot as she schooled her features into a more neutral expression.

"Yeah J?"

"Madam you've been in the lift for ten minutes...would you care to ascend to the common floor?"

Toni weighed her options; she really didn't want to see anyone but only granola bars and dried blueberries awaited her in the lab. A small rumble from her stomach urged her to make a decision.

"Depends on who's upstairs J," she mumbled with a small gravelly voice.

"All members of the Avengers are present on the communal floor. Ms. Romanoff and Doctor Banner are currently in the kitchen, the others are engaged in an electronic game tournament in the lounge. Shall I inform them of your arrival?"

She hesitated; her vacant stomach churned violently in vengeance as she had skipped lunch to prep for the board meeting with Pepper. Toni unsuccessfully stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes once more, fatigue had settled in her chest, curling up like a contented cat. She glanced at her wrist; Howard's old rolex gleamed up at her.

It was quarter after seven.

Toni had been awake for over twenty seven hours now.

She could try and attempt some sleep in her lab, she thought judiciously, but that would only solve one problem, and realistically her pursuit for some respite from the insomnia that had taken hold of her had been fruitless...

"Madam?"

"May as well J," she yawned in resignation.

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"You look like hell," Clint barked with a laugh upon catching sight of Toni's shuffling form exiting the elevator. She glared without heat at the archer, rolling her eyes at the barb.

Barton, Thor, and Steve were seated, or rather hovering and vibrating on the couch in front of the television. Their arms and shoulders pivoted from left to right as their avatars navigated the virtual space, fingers flicking and jerking the plastic joysticks.

"Glad I opted for wireless controllers the way you guys are playing," she snickered after all three men jumped to their feet, a chorus of laughter and yelling ensued. A visual of Thor ripping the console from the wall in an explosion of drywall and paint chips played across her mind's eye, Toni smiled widely.

"We play with vigor and honour Lady Stark! My Ape Man shall vanquish the Red and Green Brothers, I will have all the stars!" Thor boomed jovially, turning his head slightly to catch her eye. She snorted at the God's enthusiasm.

"How was the presentation?" Bruce called from the kitchen.

Toni's shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly at the question; so much for a relaxing night.

"You'll have to ask Pepper. She did most of the talking...I only had a small portion," she said tonelessly, eyes trained on the colourful screen in the lounge. Steve's head briefly turned in her direction.

"I spoke with Pepper already, I thought I would ask you".

Bruce was picking, albeit with good intentions, prodding at the raw fissure of her shitty evening - shitty week; she could see his expression from across the lounge, earnest and soft. Toni grimaced.

"How magnanimous of you," she sneered lowly.

The only movement in the lounge came from the colourful bouncing avatars on the television; the men had frozen where they stood, rooted to the spot by the strange discussion happening in front of them.

Toni inhaled deeply through her nose.

She struggled to think rationally; Bruce wasn't trying to attack her the way Natasha and Clint had the other day, but that didn't stop the fact that the good doctor was airing out her problems in front of an audience. A captivated audience.

The engineer's stomach cramped viciously, loudly, in protest of being ignored so close to the kitchen. Her gut didn't care about the vocal obstacle by the counter the way Toni did; stupid body.

Bruce sighed heavily, his brow creased - agitated.

"Pepper is worried about you-"

"Christ Bruce," she hissed, one hand fisted in her hair while the other gesticulated wildly, "I just got home, can we wait on the heart to heart or were there more people you wanted to invite for courtside seats?"

Everyone was staring. The game was paused, a pleasant digital six note melody looped again to fill the otherwise hollow silence.

Bruce made to open his mouth but Toni beat him to it.

"I'm fine. Really. And, if you or Pepper have something to say to me, say it to my face. Pepper doesn't need some Jolly Green Giant proxy pretending to care-"

Tony clapped her hand over her mouth, her brown eyes round with astonishment.

Shit.

Toni removed her hand, slowly, and opened her mouth as though she could catch and swallow the words again before they reached the doctor.

"I-Bruce-"

The doctor shook his head minutely, the soft beseeching gaze waning entirely, before he grasped a steaming mug from the counter he had been leaning on and walked out of the kitchen. Bruce didn't look back.

A bereft hole exploded in Toni's chest; her lungs hurt in a way that had nothing to do with the Arc Reactor.

You fucker, she thought for the second time that night.

Natasha moved from her position by the counter, opposite from where Bruce had been standing, into Toni's field of vision. The engineer held her gaze, hiding behind a crumbling veneer of iron and spite.

"You're an idiot Stark. Let's take a walk," Widow said sharply, jerking her head towards the elevator.

Toni stood still for a moment before nodding and following the assassin; three pairs of eyes bored holes into the back of her charcoal blazer, she left without a backward glance.

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The bitter wind bit into Toni's uncovered legs and ears as she and Natasha moved across the communal balcony one floor above the kitchen and lounge. Twin plumes of crystallized breaths distorted the purple twilight surrounding the pair.

"You can't sleep."

Toni scowled at the matter-of-fact tone Widow had used, she cursed her decision to apply the lipstick rather than reach for the concealer before rushing out the door that morning; the bruised circles under her eyes mocked her now.

Natasha continued on.

"This has been a rough week for you Stark...it would not come as a surprise to anyone if sleep did not come easily-"

"Piss off Nat," Toni growled, "I am not talking to you about this".

Natasha was silent for a moment, her focus remained on the gloomy New York skyline.

"Myself...or Bruce or Pepper I heard".

Toni's jaw clicked as she ground her teeth together; her temper, torn and frayed, unraveled with each passing hour she remained awake. She inhaled deeply through her nose once more; the frigid air sunk its teeth into her sinus', Toni winced.

Awake was better than the alternative, she reminded herself.

"I've gone longer without sleep," the quiet words floated in front of her before dissipating.

Natasha hummed thoughtfully, "Not recently though," she turned to face the Iron Woman, her normally impassive face softened for a moment.

"I must confess Stark, neither Clint nor myself knew what the consequences of our actions would be that day in the kitchen".

Toni couldn't help the snort that escaped her. She moved towards a small table and chair she had placed closer to the railing four months prior. Toni made to sit down but winced and stepped away as the chilled metal nipped at her hands and legs.

"Consequences...right. You had no idea why I wanted nothing to do with the pool? Am I to understand that one of the world's best spy's had no idea? Bullshit," her voice quavered slightly but she held Natasha's gaze.

Widow nodded, gazing once more into the night.

"I saw what I wanted to see Stark," the assassin said slowly, weighing the words on her tongue before releasing them, "And, to be fair, you made it very easy to misjudge you...you still do".

Toni remained silent.

"Much of the information Shield had obtained about your kidnapping had been classified by the government due partly to your friend Colonel Rhodes intervention and your own stubborn unwillingness to undergo evaluation," Widow's tone became sharp with annoyance towards the end, whether it was for Toni or herself remained unclear.

Natasha breathed out a laugh, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly.

"But the fact remains: you are an incredibly difficult person to...understand, you, by no means, make it easy," the redhead turned to Toni once again with the barest of grins in place of her normal neutral expression.

The words had been extended, like a hand offering unspoken amends and reconciliation. Toni briefly looked to the door of the tower and back to Natasha; there was nothing stopping her from simply walking away, but...

"Is this you apologizing? Because it's terrible," Toni mumbled in a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, her own mouth slowly relaxing into a small smile.

Natasha huffed; her shoulders shifted slightly, letting the tension bleed out of them.

"As though you'd accept one if I tried."

Toni hummed and looked again towards the doors, the faint smile she'd been sustaining faltered once more, she owed Bruce a real conversation.

"Well I'm going to check on a certain doctor," Natasha raised her hands at Toni's flinch, "You two should speak tomorrow after you've both rested, or at least attempted it."

The Iron Woman jerked her head, a parody of acknowledgement, and cracked the frozen knuckles on her left hand. Clouds of breath continued to billow and undulate as neither woman moved.

"There are leftovers downstairs, go eat something Stark," Natasha said smoothly, after a beat of silence, as she swept towards the door. A muffled gurgle concurred with Widow, her stomach unpleasantly empty and vociferous.

"Finally an order I can get behind," she grinned, following the assassin with a quick jog.

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Toni removed the steaming plate of lasagna from the convection microwave mounted in the wall, relishing the aroma of garlic and tomato that blindsided her; she hissed as she grabbed the piping hot plate.

"Fricking frick," the engineer spat, dropping the heaping dish on the counter, the clatter of porcelain shrill in the otherwise quiet kitchen.

She whirled around and nearly knocked the plate to the floor as a low voice spilled into the room.

"Hey I- I, uh, didn't mean to startle you there..." Steve said apologetically, hands raised as though he were approaching a wildcat on the kitchen island rather than a teammate.

"You should wear a bell," she tisked, one hand rubbing over the Arc Reactor, "some of us have heart conditions you know."

Steve winced at that, his face clouding slightly, "I, um, I just wanted to see of you would join us for a movie in the lounge?" His left hand moved to scratch the side of his head, ruffling the dirty blond hair. He lowered the second hand to the counter, drumming a solid beat with his finger tips.

"You sure that's wise Cap? I'm bound to cause some kind of scene halfway through, what with my track record this week," she smiled wanly, her tone subdued, and collected her cooling plate once more.

"Well, we'll just have to put on something outrageous and distracting, right up your alley." Steve wheedled, cracking a high-beam smile. Blue eyes crinkled in the corners and Toni found herself grinning back, though not nearly to the same blinding wattage.

"Fine, but only if it's raunchy and ridiculous too; Clint's a hard one to entertain".

Steve smirked, and moved to open the fridge; he grabbed four cans of soda before using his foot to nudge the door closed once more.

"Lead on then Toni."

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"I do not understand, these mortals in their flimsy garb would surely fail to protect their land properly! Chainmail merely on their crowns would do nothi-"

"Thor it's a movie," tittered Clint from the floor, throwing popcorn, that had somehow appeared halfway through the Paul Rudd marathon, at the god, "You can't expect something with Seann William Scott to have any sort of believability."

"You leave Scotty boy out of this, I loved American Pie," Toni yawned from her nest of cushions and blankets on the couch she had claimed. She had burrowed herself in between Thor and Steve, relishing their natural space-heater-like proximity.

The genius snickered at Steve's furrowed brow, "Okay Jarvis, add American Pie to the list for movie night, it is a must for Spa-a-a-ngles over here."

Toni punctuated her words with a long yawn and a soft jab to Steve's shoulder; if the Captain could have made a bigger show of rolling his eyes, Toni would have given him a medal, the little shit.

"And their shields! The size alone-"

The chorus of exasperated groans and shower of popcorn and crumpled napkins prompted the blond to raise his hands in surrender, finally falling silent -save a few sulky snorts throughout the rest of the film.

"Wait what did they say, I missed it?" Toni asked suddenly, rubbing the blur out of her eyes. The buzzing white noise in her ears receded slightly but the warm heady feeling in her tired limbs remained. She felt suspended, buoyant, and relaxed. More than she had felt in days.

"Who the hell is Marvin Hamlisch," Steve said quietly near her ear.

"Some composer or something, why are you asking me?" Toni asked with a gaping yawn, her brown eyes drooping heavily.

The Captain chuckled lightly, "Uh no, that's the line you missed...close your eyes Toni."

She felt her face contort into a frowning pout, "No, no, I'm good I-"

"Uh huh, sure, you could just rest them for a second?"

Toni nodded, head lolling onto a sturdy shoulder, her eyes already closed. The shoulder shifted as a warm weight fell around her, pulling the engineer into a warm embrace.

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P.S The movie they are watching is Role Models!

Cheers everyone, please review!