CHAPTER 3: RESTLESS

"You, uh, wanted to see me?" Zanna stepped through the doorway of her mentor's quarters cautiously.

Kreia was kneeling in the middle of the room, most likely meditating. She often did, as she couldn't physically see any longer. "Yes, I did." Her croaky voice filled the room. "We have much to discuss, hm?"

Zanna hesitated, not knowing if she should stay put or go closer to her mentor. "I guess so…"

Kreia finally stood and turned toward her padawan. As usual, her eyes were covered by the brown hooded cloak she always wore, her grey braids falling next to her face. "You are troubled. I can feel it. It is weighing you down."

"Yeah, you could say that…" Zanna mumbled. Having the old woman constantly looking into her thoughts was getting irritating. True, she had done the same things to her companions, but she did it once and vowed never to invade their heads again. Kreia, on the other hand, had seemingly never ceased to do so since they met on Peragus. Unfortunately for Zanna, somehow an intense bond created by the force linked them together, so now, whether she wanted it or not, Kreia would never cease to be with her.

"The tomb on Korriban has shaken you," the old woman mused. "Why?"

"You know damn well why," Zanna snapped, without any hesitation. "You sent me in there knowing exactly what would happen."

Kreia smirked. "Then you will know why I sent you in there in the first place."

Zanna stared at her angrily. "What are you talking about?"

"You had to examine your past. Through the past, we become stronger in the future."

"I'm tired of you being cryptic." Zanna walked toward her. "For once I want some answers."

"You want answers?!" Kreia cried. "Fine. The trials you experienced were necessary for what you must face now."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you forgotten why we came to this dead planet to begin with?! Or has this one moment of weakness clouded your perspective on the entirety of this quest you have begun?"

Zanna stared at her, open-mouthed, in confusion. "What…" Her mind stirred for a moment, then clarity came: "Master Vash." She stomped in anger. "Sith's blood…."

"She is the purpose we came here." Kreia turned back, getting down on her knees once again. "The trials in the tomb were merely to prepare you for what you will face."

"And what would that be?"

"The old Sith Academy. It is north-east of the shyrack caves. What you seek will be there."

"Fine," Zanna said, turning back around. "I'll head out in the morning."

"Hmm." Kreia muttered. "You will need the rest. Wise choice."

Zanna scowled. "Yeah, thanks."

The young Jedi stalked out of Kreia's quarters. As angry as she was at the woman, she did have a point- they came to Korriban to find Master Vash. She was one of the pieces of the puzzle to find out why Zanna was exiled from the Order. They had only succeeded in finding the master who had fled to Nar Shadaa- Master Zez-Kai Ell- but he had been mysteriously slain before she could ask him any questions. They had no luck on Dantooine either to find Master Vrook; the only thing the gang had found out was that he had gone into a highly dangerous area and could already be dead. They had one more planet to go to before they officially ran out of options…

She wound up into the main hold, where Atton was playing pazaak with T3-M4.

"How's our elderly passenger?" He mumbled, eyes focused on the game. "Still aging?"

Zanna huffed. "Cryptic as always." She sat down next to T3. "Who's winning?"

"DEE-DEE-BREEEP!" T3 whistled happily.

"Dammit!" Atton threw the sidedeck cards in his hand on the table. "It's only because you cheated!" Atton shouted, standing up. "I swear, next time, if you end up having all plus-minus one cards, I'll scrap ya, you rolling trash can!"

Zanna laughed. "So, you got schooled by a droid…"

T3 whistled in a mocking manner.

"No, I was beaten by a cheater!" Atton persisted.

T3 whistled happily, then started rolling away.

"Good luck with that!" Zanna shouted out to him. Seeing Atton's confusion, she added, "He's gonna go work on the hyperdrive."

"Ah," he replied. He smoothed out his ribbed jacket, calming himself, then sat back down. "So what'd that old witch want?"

"To tell me that I have more to do on this damn planet," She sighed. "In the old Academy."

"Hal, c'mon! You're not going back out there." He looked at her seriously. "Hasn't this place done enough to you?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, it has. But I came here for a reason, and I haven't accomplished what I came to do yet."

Mira appeared from the kitchen, holding a bag of dried fruit. "What'd I miss?"

"We have to go back to Korriban," Atton sighed in annoyance. "To the Sith Academy."

"That's dumb." Mira looked back from the scoundrel to the Jedi. "Why?"

"One of the Masters should be in there."

"Should be?" Mira asked, putting food in her mouth.

Zanna shook her head. "Call it a hunch."

"There are no such things as hunches for Jedi of your strength," said Mical emerging from the medical bay.

Zanna threw up her hands. "Why doesn't everyone just come in?"

"Surely, you know this." The Disciple continued.

"Zan, I'm sensing you're not telling us something." Atton glowered at her, trying to get her to say.

She groaned. "Why did I decide to train you both…" She mumbled. "I just had to let you both become Jedi, too-"

"So, spill it." Atton ordered.

"This should be good," Mira mused, sitting down.

"Fine! Fine." Zanna flailed her arms around to get everyone to stop talking. "Kreia told me."

"So she knows what is to come if you continue?" Mical asked, confused. "Then why does she not just tell you what you will undoubtedly face?"

"Yeah, that seems like a load of bantha poodoo." Atton grumbled. He then perked up. "But, if she 'knows' this for sure, then the Jedi you're looking for has to be in there, right?"

"I mean, she was cryptic, like she usually is, but she absolutely wants me to believe that Vash is in there." She sighed. "So, to answer your question, yes she should be in there."

"Then what have you to fear?" Mical asked. "You have no doubt faced worse things than what could possibly be in an old, abandoned academy, right?"

"That's what I'm afraid of…" Zanna started.

"What do you mean?" Atton inquired. "What's in there?"

"Can't be worse than whatever caused you to pass out for three days," Mira said, chewing on her snacks. The three looked at her. "What?!" She cried defensively. "It can't!"

Zanna shook her head. "She didn't say exactly what as in there. All I know is that the tomb was preparation for what's inside."

Atton groaned. "Are you kidding me?!"

"That is not comforting…" Mical mumbled.

"Oh damn!" Mira muttered, unconvinced of all the Jedi nonsense that was going on.

"Everyone just calm down!" Zanna shouted. "Guys, I appreciate the concern or whatever, but I can't afford to be freaked out about it." She stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed to rest up for the morning." She looked menacingly at the three. "If any of you were planning on accompanying me, I suggest you do the same. Goodnight."

She walked off, leaving the three others speechless.

"I shall heed her advice," Mical finally spoke. "I intend to aide her as well as I can in the morning. So, I bid you all good evening." He too walked off towards the medical bay.

Mira leaned in closer to Atton. "Why does he talk like that?" She whispered.

"Not entirely sure." He replied. "Although, when we first met him, he was locked in a library in some ruins. So, that could be part of it." He smirked.

"He weirds me out." She stared at the med bay, placing some more of the snacks in her mouth.

Atton reached into the bag quickly, snatching a handful of her fruit, before running away.

"HEY!" Mira shouted, pulling out one of her blaster rifles. "Next time you do that, a bolt goes through the back of your skull!"

"You are to be commended for making it this far." Kreia stood in the middle of the cave, but she looked different somehow….
"Wait, how did you get h-"
"GET AWAY FROM HER, ZAN!"
She turned around, seeing Atton running up behind her. "Atton?" She asked in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"She's a dark Jedi." He looked malicious, the anger present in his voice. He too, looked different- he looked menacing, pale and cracked skin replacing his usual scruffy face.
Kreia used the Force to push him backwards. "Get out of here, murderer," She hissed at him. "This is a private matter between Zanna and myself."
He instantly sprung to his feet and ignited his lightsaber. "No way in hell."
Zanna stood there, afraid, not knowing what to do. "Guys-"
"You should know when to back out of a situation you cannot escape from." Kreia leapt with the aid of the Force towards him, igniting her own 'saber.
"Wh-Why is your lightsaber red?!" Zanna cried.
Paying no attention to her padawan, Kreia used the Force to put the young man into a state of paralysis. Putting her blade to his throat, she hissed, "I warned you, you pathetic-"
"What in the name of the Force is going on here?" Bao-Dur had appeared from the opposite side of the cave, his remote following close behind.
Kreia turned toward him. "I would advise you to stay out of this and leave now.."
"What's going on here?!" Zanna cried helplessly.
"You're threatening Atton with a lightsaber, and I'm just supposed to stay out of it?" Bao-Dur cried. "
Never."
Kreia's blade retracted. "The two of you would go up against
me?" She laughed, Atton falling forward, free from the stasis field.
With the blink of an eye, suddenly Visas, Mira, T3, and Mical were all in the cave, standing side-by-side.
"She needs to be killed." They all said in unison. "She's manipulating you! And all of us, too!"
Kreia laughed, turning to Zanna. "What have you to say, little Jedi?"
"I… I don't know…"
"You either leave this place with me, and me alone-" Kreia stated, "Or you team up and murder me. You have to choose."
"What?!" Zanna's breathing became rapid.
"She's been using you," Atton said quietly. "Think about it."
She looked at the others, who were all nodding in agreement. 'Maybe I have been used…' She thought. 'They wouldn't all tell me to do something so heinous if they weren't sure.'
Zanna looked at Kreia. "I'm sorry, Kreia, but your lies end here."
"Am I not worthy of redemption?!" Kreia cried.
Zanna didn't respond. She couldn't. Igniting her lightsabers, she breathed heavily, then with a swipe of her right hand, beheaded the old woman. Zanna gaped in despair, and tears began to flow.
Kreia's body fell onto the sandy ground, while the head rolled towards her feet. It stopped, face up. The hood usually covering her eyes had come off, and Zanna was finally looking at her mentor's face fully for the first time- but the eyes had closed. She knelt on the ground, silently sobbing, staring at Kreia's head.
Without warning, the eyelids flickered open, revealing entirely black eyes. Zanna staggered back, the voice of Kreia ringing throughout the cave: "
MURDERER!"

Zanna screamed, waking up in an instant. She sat bolt upright in her bed, bursting into uncontrollable sobs. "Why…" She muttered, bringing her head to her knees. She wept alone. The image of Kreia's head, the black eyes staring into her very soul, came into her mind every time she closed her eyes.

Impulsively, she stood up to go to the refresher, perhaps to splash some cold water onto her face, or just to get away from her room. She closed the refresher door behind her, and looked into the mirror- the image of a young woman with sickly pale skin and yellow eyes looked back at her. "What am I…" She whispered, tears flowing harder. Her head hurt, so she decided to undo her black hair that was put into its usual braid. She brushed it with her fingers, then turned on the sink to get some water running. Trying to control her breathing, she got some water in the palms of her hands and then splashed it onto her face. She dabbed her face with a nearby towel, then moved towards the opposite wall, and slowly slid onto the ground.

Suddenly, there were three quiet knocks on the door. Voice trembling, she yelled out, "Sorry I'll be out in a second."

The door opened anyway, and Atton looked down at the Jedi. "I heard you screaming," He said quietly.

She covered her face with her hands. "Did I wake you up?"

"Nah," He muttered. "I don't usually head to bed for another hour or so." He walked towards her, and kneeled down. "Zan, what happened?"

She wiped the tears from her face. "Nothing, I'm fine-" She tried to stand up, but her legs failed her, and she fell back onto the cold metal ground. "Dammit…" She whispered, tears starting to stream down her face again.

"Aw, Zan…" He muttered sadly, wiping away the hair sticking to her tear-strewn face. "Okay, come on, Hal." Atton stooped down and picked her up, almost cradling her.

"Thanks," She sniffed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He carried her in silence, her occasional sniffles being the only noise. She rested her head on his shoulder, still silently crying. "It's okay," He whispered to her. "I've got you. You're okay."

They soon returned to her quarters, and he stood above her bed, the Jedi still in his arms. They stood in silence, her pain spoke louder than anything.

"Well…" Atton whispered, unsure of what to do, "I hope you-"

"Stay with me?" She pleaded quietly.

He looked down at her. "What?"

She met his eyes, her eyes glazed with tears. "I don't want that to happen again…" She choked.

"Of course, Zan. I'll stay with you." He placed her down gently on the bed, then lied down next to her.

"Thanks." She was still so weak, but the crying had slowed a little bit. She nestled closer to him, placing her hand on his chest.

"Hey, if I ever pass up the opportunity to spend the night next to a beautiful woman, that's the sign I've lost it," He chuckled.

She looked up at him. "You think I'm beautiful?" She whispered.

He laughed. "Well, yeah! Any man with a working set of eyes would. Haven't you ever been told that?"

She shook her head. "Jedi aren't-"

"Oh yeah," He mumbled. "You guys aren't allowed to show feelings or any emotion other than to be wise, right?"

"Kind of, yeah." She rested her head just under his.

"Let me tell you, Zan," He said, putting his arm around her, "If you had grown up anywhere else besides the Jedi Academy, you'd have been hearing that your whole life."

She smiled. "Thanks."

He sat in silence, thinking. Zanna noticed. "What is it?" She asked.

"I just was curious as to what your life was like, is all." He muttered.

"Well," She sighed. "There's not much to it. I was taken to become a Jedi when I was a child. Don't remember much other than that. Then, when I was nineteen, the Jedi decided to serve absolutely no one by not helping the Republic during the Mandalorian Wars, so I went out to do something about it."

"You were only nineteen?!" Atton asked, amazed. "Damn."

"Yeah," She laughed. "The day I turned twenty is when I was made General." She stopped. "And then I think we both know what happened after that."

"Yeah…" He whispered. "Malachor, then the Civil War."

She looked up at him. "Did you serve in the War?"

He hesitated. "Served in both, actually." She sat up, surprising him. "What?"

"Both?" She was shocked. "What were you doing in the Jedi Civil war?"

Atton shook his head, sitting up as well. "It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"You're so stubborn," he said. He then looked at her in the eyes. "It- it's not something that, that I'm proud of. You probably won't want me here after I tell you, to be honest."

She smiled at him. "Atton, I told you about what happened in that cave- about my past- and your opinion of me didn't change. I promise you, I won't think any less of you."

"Okay," He muttered. Pointing a finger at her, he added, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

She sat cross-legged in front of him, waiting for his story.

"Well, you know about the woman who showed me the Force?"

She nodded. A few weeks ago, he had come to her with the desire to learn more about the Force, as he had been shown it by a woman in his past. She agreed, and Atton had taken the steps to become a Jedi, too.

He breathed deeply. "She showed me the Force- right before I killed her."

Zanna's eyes widened. "What?"

"I was recruited by Revan during the Wars to help remove all the Jedi."

"You.. you killed Jedi?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. A lot of them. But this woman was different."

Zanna cocked her head. "How so?"

"I had been assigned to murder her, and right before I did, she… she showed me the Force. I felt her forgiveness. There wasn't any hatred or anger, either…" He paused. She noticed the far-off gaze in his eyes, fixated on the image in his mind. "She just knew what I was doing and accepted it. I think I loved her."

Zanna felt her heart drop. "Oh…"

He quickly snapped back into reality. "Oh no, it wasn't that kind of love. I think it was the kind of love where you're just willing to give everything up for someone you don't even know." He looked at her. "You know what I mean?"

She nodded. "I do. That happens when you're a Jedi." She smiled at him. "If you thought that that would change my opinion of you, you're mistaken."

He smiled back at her. "Yeah?"

"I admire your honesty. Thank you, Atton."

"You're welcome." They sat in silence for a moment. He then slid down, tired of sitting up. She moved to the side so he could fully extend his legs. "I'm glad I got that off my chest."

"Have you ever told that to anyone before?" She asked quietly.

He shook his head. "Nope."

She lied down on her side, using her elbow as a prop while her hand supported her head. "Why not?" She breathed.

He turned to his side to face her. "You're special to me." He answered. "Ever since I met you, I knew it, too. I usually don't let anyone into my past, but you're different."

She smiled at him. "Why's that?"

He shook his head, lost for words. "I don't know. But remember what I said about that other kind of love?"

"Yeah?"

"It's kind of like that. I'd be willing to give up everything for you, Zanna Hal. I really would."

She looked at him in awe. Then quietly, she added, "I have that other kind of love for you, too."

The two stared at each other for a moment, then he abruptly cupped the side of her face, bringing their lips together.

Surprised, Zanna initially pulled her head back.

"Oh, Force, I'm so sorry!" Atton started. "I shouldn't have-"

He was interrupted by her pulling him in by his collar and kissing him. He brought his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her closer, further into his embrace. She brought her hands up to cup his face, and the two paused for a moment. She smiled at him as they both caught their breath.

He gave her a crooked smile. "I thought you weren't supposed to do this?" He smirked.

She shrugged, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm not technically a Jedi, am I?" She snickered at him.

He ran his fingers through her hair. "I've never seen you with your hair down," he said quietly. "I like it."

She nestled her head under his chin, shifting her hand so it was on his chest. "Thanks."

His fingers interlocked with hers. "You know, I've been wanting to do that since Peragus," He said.

She laughed. "I had a feeling."

He hugged her tightly, and kissed her on the top of her head. "You should get some rest- you're gonna need it for the morning."

"Will you come with me?" She asked quietly.

He squeezed her tighter. "You don't even need to ask, Zan. I'll be right by your side the whole time."

She turned so that she was half on top of him, and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Atton. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Zanna."

And then, the two fell deeply asleep, still wrapped in one another's arms.