A/N: This piece was inspired by some really great songs - Stars by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals and Bright Lights and Cityscapes by Sara Bareilles.
She didn't look up at night anymore. She never left London, with its bright lights and cityscapes, washing a sparkling sky into a bland gray. If she saw stars, it hurt too much. He was there, somewhere, beyond her reach. She'd seen too many stars beside him to look at them now, so very alone. They used to face down demons out there in the cold night sky. Now they sheltered inside her, bitter and familiar.
The Doctor noticed. He'd see her eyes fixed firmly at her feet, and he wished he could take her there again. His heart – his single lonely, shadow of a heart – tightened in his chest.
"I'm sorry," he whispered one night, as they were walking back from the corner store together. Normally they were quiet if they ran errands together – but today she had almost smiled at him, when he turned up at the register with eggplants instead of cucumbers, cantaloupe instead of watermelon, laundry detergent instead of shampoo. She had turned her face away so fast, he wasn't sure, but he could have sworn her lips twitched.
She was right next to him, and a million miles away.
"For what?"
"That I can't… give you the life you love. The adventure, the excitement, the… stars. I can't give you the stars. I'm sorry."
Her eyes flicked away from the ground. She didn't look up, only briefly glanced at him. Her eyes gleamed as they passed under a streetlight, and then her face became a dark mask once more. His words struck a chord somewhere deep inside her, but she couldn't quite hear its melody.
"That's not… why I traveled," she murmured. "I traveled because I loved…" You.
The word didn't quite escape her lips, and she was shocked that it was even in her mind. Pulling her coat tighter around her body, Rose hurried ahead of him, away from him, and didn't look back. She locked herself in her room when she got home and didn't hear him return. But she wasn't asleep, only preoccupied.
I love him. I loved him. I love…
The thought wouldn't come. Rose buried her face in her pillow and drove it away through sheer force of will.
