Chapter The Big Day
Summary: Hou Yi has a big surprise for Chang'e.
Hou Yi: Finally! I get to be in- (I slap him)OW!
Me: Just be glad I even like you!
Chang'e: I wouldn't jinx it my love, remember what happened to Aphro?
Hou Yi: Right. The author doesn't own anything from Smite. We're property of Hi-Rez studios.
It was a bright sunny day in Arena. "Ok, you guys know the plan?" Hou Yi asked his team. Apollo, Nu Wa, Sylvanus & Bastet nodded. Sylvanus gave Hou Yi some flowers. "I hope she says yes." Bastet said. The team moved out of their fountain & met the other team with a minion wave. The other team had Aphrodite, Chang'e, Hun Batz, Neith & Cabrakan. "Ok, ready?" Nu Wa asked. Hou Yi nodded. "Hey! Timeout!" Nu Wa shouted. "Huh? You can call timeouts in this?" Cabrakan asked. "It's worth it man. Trust me," Hou Yi said. He walked towards Chang'e. "Chang'e, I have something to ask you. We've been in Smite for a long time now. I've been wondering, will you marry me?" Hou Yi asked. Everyone gasped in shock. Chang'e said, "VVY (Yes)" "BTW, author, terrible dialogue. Maybe make me sound more roman-" "You know the author doesn't do romance, what do you expect?" Ja'de said. Everyone clapped for the new couple. "Oh! When will the wedding be?!" Neith asked excitedly. "You think 3 days from now will be good?" Hou Yi asked. Chang'e nodded. "You have 3 days to wait." Hou Yi said. Neith squealed in happiness. "Spread the word, preparations will begin tomorrow. & everyone is invited!" Chang'e said. Everyone nodded & left to tell the others.
In Joust… At the Order Fountain…
Nu Wa had returned to tell her friends. The Hindu & Chinese gods were chatting in the Order Fountain with the Order Titan O'Ti'en. "Nu Wa! What's up?" Ravana asked. "I have great news! Hou Yi & Chang'e are finally getting married!" Nu Wa said. "How is that good news?" Kali asked. "When is the wedding?" Ao Kuang asked. "3 days from now." Nu Wa said. "Oh boy!" Ne Zha said. "Chang'e said that everyone is invited." Nu Wa said. "Sweet!" Bakasura said. "Will they send out invites? Or did they already tell you what time it will be?" He Bo asked. "I think they'll send out notices." Nu Wa said. "This will be worth it!" Zhong Qui said happily.
In Seige…
Sylvanus was looking for the other Mayan gods. He found them in the jungle playing Jenga. "Come on… Come on..." Chaac said as he carefully removed a block. "One more block & you've beaten Nemisis's height." Kukulkhan said. "Hi guys!" Sylvanus said. Chaac jumped & the tower fell. "NOOO! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!" Chaac groaned. "Oh, my bad Chaac. But I have important news!" Sylvanus said. "What?" Awilix asked. "Hou Yi & Chang'e are getting married in 3 days!" Sylvanus said. "Amazing!" Ah Puch said. "Are we all going to bee invited?" AMC asked. "Yes & was that pun really necessary?" Sylvanus asked. "I guess if Agni can get away with it then so can he." Hun Batz remarked.
In Assault… At the order fountain..
Apollo was explaining to the Norse gods what was happening. "We shall be there." Odin said. "Oh BTW, have you seen Loki? Chang'e told me to ask him something." Apollo asked. "Nope," Freya said. "Last time I saw him, he & Toasty were heading somewhere." Tyr said. "I wish those 2 would stop disappearing." Fenrir said. "Well what do you expect from Nox's kid?" Skadi asked. "Great! The invites should be out tomorrow. Now to try to find Loki." Apollo sighed as he used his Ult to fly away.
In Joust Chaos fountain…
Nu Wa was looking for the Greek & Japanese gods. Luckily, she found them. "Hi guys!" Nu Wa said. They were playing Heads up 7 up. "VVGH (Hi) Nu Wa." Zeus said. "What brings you here?" Athena asked. "Well I'm sure you guys heard but Hou Yi & Chang'e are finally tying the knot!" Nu Wa said. "Well that's disappointing- OW!" Hades said before Arachne smacked him. "Can we bring gifts?" Raijin asked. "Well that's a stupid question." Chiron remarked. "Of course. The invites should be out tomorrow or-" Nu Wa said before she paused. "What's wrong?" Amaterasu asked. "Where's Thanatos?" Nu Wa asked. "Eh he hates this game." Poseidon said. "Last I saw him, he was heading towards Conquest map." Chronos said. "Man that guy gets around fast. Ok, thanks" Nu Wa said.
In Training Map…
Cabrakan found the the Roman gods & Nemesis playing Uno. "Hey guys!" Cabrakan said. "What?" Nemesis asked as she put down a blue 5. "Chang'e & Hou Yi are getting married in 3 days." Cabrakan said. "That's wonderful!" Cupid cheered. "Well it's about time. Draw 2!" Vulcan said. "Where's the wedding going to be held? I'll bring the wine." Bacchus asked. "They should be sending out invites maybe tomorrow." Cabrakan said. "Are we all invited? Draw 4, color change to…. Red!" Bellona asked. "Yes," Cabrakan said. "Ok, we'll be there." Janus said. "Oh, do any of you know where Loki is?" Cabrakan asked. "More than likely he's in Conquest with that brother of mine. VVVF (Follow me), I think I know where they are." Nemesis sighed.
In Conquest…
Loki had his face buried in Thanatos's neck in fear. Thanatos has his wings curled around them both in fear & he was shivering. The 2 gods were trying to watch The Conjuring. Emphasis on trying. "Please tell me it's almost over!" Loki said. Nemesis soon arrived with Cabrakan. "What's with them?" Cabrakan whispered. "Oh I can't look!" Thanatos said while covering his eyes with one of his wings. "Hey!" Nemesis shouted. Both gods shrieked & ran off. "Oh, it's- It's only Nemesis. Yeah I knew it. I- Uh," Loki said nervously. Nemesis paused the movie & clicked her tongue. "What?! It's terrifying!" Thanatos said as he gathered his nerves. "Well there they are. I'll see you at the wedding." Nemesis said as she dashed away. "Ca-broken? What you want?" Loki asked. "Chang'e wanted to ask if you could be the DJ at the wedding?" Cabrakan asked. "This guy?" Thanatos asked. "Hey! I've got a pretty good playlist. Wait what wedding?" Loki asked. "Oh! Hou Yi & Chang'e are finally tying the knot!" Cabrakan said. "I guess that's a good thing." Thanatos shrugged. "Oh speaking of you, Hou Yi wants you to be the preacher like guy." Cabrakan said. "This guy?!" Loki asked while trying to stifle his laughter. "I guess my Archon skin does make me sound the part." Thanatos said. "Then its settled. The invites will be out tomorrow." Cabrakan said as he walked away. Both gods sighed & decided to return to the movie. "How did I let you talk me into watching this?" Loki asked as he grew scared. "Man why'd I choose this?" Thanatos asked.
The day of…
Scylla was helping to put up decorations with Aphrodite. "I swear Scylla, you could be a decorator." Aphrodite said. "Thanks! When are the others arriving?" Scylla asked. "Oh my fellow Greeks said that they might be late. Thanatos vanished again. & I heard from Odin that they will be late cause Loki disappeared." Aphrodite said sadly. "Really? Again?" Scylla whined. "Yeah, I don't know where they went. No one does!" Aphrodite said. "What's this I hear about Thanatos & Loki disappearing?" Hou Yi asked while approaching the 2. "Ooo, nice Moon's Groom skin. But yes, Thanatos hasn't been seen since yesterday. Same for Loki." Aphrodite said. "Your kidding me. Has anyone checked in Conquest?" Hou Yi asked. "The Greeks combed through it camp by camp. Even Bill & Rachel haven't seen them." Aphrodite said. "What about Siege?" Hou Yi asked. "The Mayans are searching there now." Aphrodite said. Hou Yi sighed & Scylla said, "I think he meant it." "Meant what?" Hou Yi asked. "Thanatos told Chrono Trigger that he can't stand weddings. Something about having a bad reaction when he's near them." Scylla said. "Anyone know where Nox is?" Hou Yi asked. "I'm not sure. I could chat box her for you." Aphrodite said. "Please do, I'll go help Agni with the final preparations." Hou Yi said. Aphrodite nodded & typed in the chat box.
Meanwhile where Thanatos & Loki are…
"You sure they won't find us here?" Loki asked. "Heck yeah. I use this place whenever I need to get away from Hades. Now stay quiet!" Thanatos whispered.
Where Nox was…
Nox was going down left lane in Seige with Kukulkhan & Fenrir. "So is your father known to hide like this?" Nox asked. "Nope. Yeah he does turn invisible but it's only temporary." Fenrir explained. "What about Toasty? Would he have any reason to vanish like this?" Kukulkhan asked. Nox thought for a moment & remembered something. "Hey, just got a message from Aphrodite. She's asking if you could go see Hou Yi?" Fenrir asked. "Go on, we'll keep searching." Kukulkhan said. Nox nodded & made her way to Joust. "Man they're good at hiding." Fenrir said.
In Joust….
"Nox, thank you for coming. Now, do you know why that Thanatos is missing?" Hou Yi asked. "Yes but it's not gonna make much sense." Nox said. "Try me," Hou Yi said. "Well, Thanatos vanished because he has love mush sensitivity." Nox said. "Uhh… What?" Hou Yi asked. "He gets nauseous around mushy gunk like weddings! & believe me, his vomit will scare everyone away." Nox said. "That's a thing?" Hou Yi asked. "I've heard of it," Scylla said. "Really?" Hou Yi asked. "Yeah it happens to boys who don't outgrow the 'Eww kisses' thing. Well that and also, if you live near Zeus you'd get sick too." Scylla said. "Ok, that's a new one. Well then do you know why Loki's vanished?" Hou Yi asked. "It's because Loki just flat out don't like weddings!" Agni yelled from down the lane. "Well that's helpful, so where are they?" Hou Yi asked. "Hey! Kuku says he found their scents down Duo in Conquest." Scylla said. "I think I know where they are." Nox said. "Wait, is there any risk in Toasty going through with the job I asked of him?" Hou Yi asked. "Well if the ceremony is short, he'll just get nauseous. But the longer it goes on, the worst the effects. Worst case scenario, Thanatos passes out for a month & vomit pours out his-" "Ok, OK, I get it. Keep it short & simple." Hou Yi said.
In Conquest…
"Kuku, you sure Nox told you that they'd be here?" Fenrir asked. "She said it may take a few of my tornadoes." Kukulkhan said. They were digging up the beach-like area by Duo lane. He placed one more tornado on the sand. "Oh come on!" "Well what do ya know? Nox was right. Come on dad," Fenrir said. "Do I really have to go?" Loki asked. "Loki your standing on my stomach!" Thanatos snarled. "Sorry! Fenrir you know I hate weddings." Loki sighed. "Wait did you even say yes to Hou Yi's offer?" Fenrir asked. "Not really, besides, Toasty didn't say yes either." Loki said as he crawled out the hole. "Well, just do it, eh dad?" Fenrir asked. "If I do this your not going to beg me for Doggy Num Nums for the next 2 weeks. Got it?" Loki asked. "Got it, now what about him?" Fenrir asked. "I ain't coming out!" Thanatos said. "Come on man!" Kukulkhan shouted. "NO WAY!" Thanatos bellowed. "Why's he so stubborn?" Kukulkhan asked. "Let me at him." "Nox! Maybe you can talk some sense into Toasty." Loki said. "Not gonna work!" Thanatos shouted. "So why's he like this?" Kukulkhan asked. "Love mush sensitivity. Thanatos! Come on you! Hou Yi said that he'd make it short & simple!" Nox said. "You sure about that? You & me both know how he gets when he starts spamming about his love for Chang'e." Thanatos asked. "Yes! Now get your butt up here before I tell Loki the time you ran around Olympus chasing that nymph & both of you were buck na-" "Ya know you could have just asked. No need to drag that into this!" Thanatos said as he crawled out the hole. "Good, now to Joust, we'll be late at this rate." Fenrir said. Thanatos snapped his fingers & morphed into his Archon skin LVL 20.
In Joust…
Everyone (up to Susanoo's release) was gathered in their golden, Legendary or Diamond skins. The Order Titans, Chaos Titans, Bull Demon King, Rachel the Gold Fury & Bill the Fire Giant were also there. The altar was right where the order phoenix would be. Surprisingly, even the phoenixes were at the wedding too. "So when's this gonna start?" Artemis asked. "Hang tight Art, it's almost time." Athena said. "I wonder why Hou Yi doesn't want me to officiate the marriage?" Zeus asked. "Well, you have a bad habit of stealing people's wives." Xbalanque said. "So? That's not a bad thing!" Zeus said. Xbalanque rolled his eyes & walked away.
Where Hou Yi was…
Hou Yi was waiting in the Order Fountain for any sign of Thanatos & Loki. "Hou Yi!" "Oh thank goodness your here! I was getting nervous." Hou Yi said. "Remember, thou must make it short or evil shall erupt from mine mouth & thou's ceremony will be tainted." Thanatos instructed. "Huh?" Hou Yi asked. "He said, 'Make it quick or else he'll puke.' Got it? BTW I chose today's hits is that alright?" Loki asked. "Ok I get it. & yes today's hits is alright. Just make sure you play that Time of my life song by Pitbull, Chang'e loves it. Oh, you guys might want to get to your seats, it's time." Hou Yi said. Loki & Nox nodded & went to their seats. "Thank you so much for- Right, ease up on the mush. Sorry," Hou Yi said. Thanatos rolled his eyes & flew towards the altar. Chang'e soon came down the lane in her Sun's Bride skin. "Man, she's stunning!" Hou Yi thought. "Wish she'd make haste, (Sighs) why doth brides take eternity to get to the accursed altar?! I doth not have all day!" Thanatos thought. Finally Chang'e got to the altar. Everyone took their seats. "Gods & goddesses, we are gathered here to bring the sun & the moon together. The couple has unfortunately written their own vows." Thanatos sighed. "Gee thanks. Chang'e, for thousands of years, the Jade Emperor tried to keep us apart. You were sent to the moon, where I could not gaze upon your light for I was the sun. Each day I would- (Thanatos glares at him) Right, anyways, I've always wanted to reunite with you. I've dreamed about that day. & now, that day is here-" "I doth said vows not an election speech." Thanatos groaned. "I'm getting to it. Chang'e, I vow to love you & only you. I vow to cherish you & be yours forever." Hou Yi said. "Finally! The bride," Thanatos said. "Man I wish he'd be a little more patient." Awilix thought. "I'll make it quick. (I know his condition,) Hou Yi I vow to love you as well. I vow to respect you so long as you respect me. I vow to be yours forever. I also vow to not hurt you too much when we are on opposite teams." Chang'e said. "Well, now that that's settled. If any of you are against this union, hopefully none, speak now or forever shut up." Thanatos sighed. Loki snickered & Thor glared at him. "What? He makes it funny!" Loki whispered. "Good, now don't one of you dare to say something at the last minute. By the power vested in me by the game we're in & by some cheap gag, I pronounce you 2 the dreaded man & wife. Go ahead & kiss." Thanatos groaned. Hou Yi looked at Chang'e happily &- "Hey author you mind making them kiss already?" Thanatos asked. And the 2 nut cases kissed! Everyone cheered loudly & applauded the new couple. Thanatos groaned & flew away. "Uh Loki, now's your cue." Nox whispered. "Oh right!" Loki said. Then music started playing. Some gods danced while others talked. "Chang'e, where are you going?" Hou Yi asked. "To thank & heal someone. I'll be back" Chang'e said. "Ok," Hou Yi answered. "How did Thanatos say all that with a straight face?" Sol asked. "Not sure but that was funny I'll admit." Cabrakan said.
Where Chang'e was…
Chang'e was traveling through the jungle in Joust towards Chaos Fountain. She found Thanatos still in his Archon skin lying on the ground. "Are you alright?" Ja'de asked. "I'm so nauseous if you say Poser's (Poseidon) name, evil will fly out my mouth." Thanatos sighed. "Come on, sit up. There you go, I wanted to thank you for this. I know you suffer from love mush sensitivity-" "So does the author but it's not as bad." Thanatos sighed. "So do you take gems or favor?" Chang'e asked. "Either one, right now- I doth not feel too good." Thanatos groaned. "I'm sorry, Hou Yi has a bad habit of going on tangents when it comes to our love." Chang'e said. "No kidding," Ja'de said. Chang'e used her Moonflower Dance & tried to heal the Hand of Death. "Yeah that- Doth not help," Thanatos sighed. "I'm sorry, have you handled this before?" Chang'e asked. "Y- Yeah. I must make haste from the source of the feeling." Thanatos said. "Ok, I understand. Want me to pay you later?" Chang'e asked. "Sure, I'll see thou later. I ain't doing this again anytime soon." Thanatos groaned before he flew away. "Well then, at least he made it entertaining. Shall we return to the party?" Ja'de asked. "Oh, of course." Chang'e said.
2 weeks later in Order Fountain…
"Hou Yi, did you ever pay Thanatos or Loki?" Chang'e asked. "Oops, well where is he? No one's seen them since-" "The ceremony?" "AHH!" Hou Yi screamed. "Thanatos really?" Chang'e asked. Thanatos was hovering behind her snickering in his standard skin. "What? You almost made me cough up my lunch!" Thanatos said. "I assume you've come here for your payment?" Chang'e asked. "Yeah, 200 favor plus 300 gems." Thanatos said landing next to Chang'e. "Why the high price?" Hou Yi asked. "Well, I could tell that your words were messing with him during the ceremony. Here you go Thanatos, & here's an extra 125 gems." Chang'e said. "Thanks, BTW, when's your wedding anniversary?" Thanatos asked. "Huh? Why'd you ask?" Hou Yi asked. "Cause the night of your honeymoon I could hear you 2-" "Thany!" Chang'e said with an embarrassed blush. "Well since your giving so much out I'd like my payment." Loki said as he deactivated his invisibility behind Hou Yi. "Aw jeesh! How much do you want Loki?" Hou Yi asked. "Same amount as Thanatos got, minus the 125 gems. Thanks to him, he made it entertaining." Loki said. "Hey, it was either that or I spew my guts." Thanatos said. Hou Yi paid Loki & the 2 gods left Joust map. "Let's just hope there isn't a next time." Ja'de said.
Hou Yi: Were those cracks necessary?
Me: I absolutely HATE weddings! The only way I could write this thing without 'influencing' the outcome was to stick cracks in there. Problem?
Loki: Well at least you made it funny.
Chang'e: R & R
