Greetings Readers! Here's the next revelation!

Warnings: Here be angst. Spoilers for 2x08 and 2x12.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of its characters.


"Merlin!"

The court warlock and physician only just managed to keep from jumping at the king's bellow, although his elbow did jog one of the flasks he was tinkering with, sending the flask and its contents to the stone floor with a crash. Merlin gave a groan of irritation before reaching out a hand and waving it silently over the smashed glass and spilled liquid, causing it to reform and float back to the tabletop. As he picked up the flask and turned it in his hand, listening for the clink of any errant glass shards, he once again expressed gratitude that he'd learned the reformation spell. Not only would it have come in handy in the past (the changeling potion and the potion-that-might-actually-have-killed-Arthur jumped to mind), but he'd had to use it often when Arthur burst into his chambers without any sort of warning.

"Ever heard of knocking, Arthur?" Merlin asked drily, setting the glass-free potion on the tabletop as he looked up at the king who had just stormed in, banging the door open.

The fact that Arthur did not turn around and point out the hypocrisy of Merlin's accusation was a testament to his anger, if the bright red hue of his face and fiery expression hadn't already given it away. "You lied to me."

Merlin tried to ignore the dull stab in his heart – even years after the revelation, that anger still hurt. He forced his voice to remain level. "What about, Arthur?"

Arthur stood in front of Merlin, his hands finding the chair across from Merlin and clenching into fists around it. "My mother!"

"Arthur," Merlin sighed, "I know, but I've already told you that. Why bring it up now?"

Actually, Merlin had a pretty good idea why Arthur was thinking of it especially now – it had been two days since Arthur and Gwen had discovered that she was pregnant. Arthur, who had actually been getting some slight pressure from the council about producing an heir, had told Merlin how worried he was about what would happen if Gwen could not bear children. Magic was definitely out, he'd said, because the cost of a life was too high-

Arthur had stopped mid-sentence, his eyebrows knitting together, and thunderclouds had begun brewing on his face. The conversation might have continued on a much louder and angered track but both men had been called on to greet a visiting delegation. Also, the next day Gwen found she was pregnant, making the idea of a magic-assisted birth unimportant anyway.

So Merlin wasn't surprised that the thought of Igraine was on Arthur's mind. He was more surprised that the confrontation had been delayed so long.

"Merlin," Arthur said, each word hissed from between his gritted teeth, "was that my mother we saw?"

The court warlock looked the king straight in the eyes. "I'm not sure. That could have been a trick by Morgause."

"Do you think it was?"

Merlin took in a deep breath through his nose. "No, I didn't sense any magic besides the summoning spell." That, and the love in those eyes and the joy with which the deceased queen embraced her son couldn't have been faked by Morgause, whose ideas of love were distorted by greed and ambition. "And even if she had, everything that was said was true." Arthur shot him a shocked look, and Merlin shrugged. "Gaius told me."

Arthur's fists clenched tightly. "Then why did you say it was a lie?"

Merlin said coolly, "I should have thought that was obvious. If I hadn't, you would've killed the king."

"And why would you care?" Arthur barked, only just managing to keep from flinging his hands in the air, "He hunted your kind like animals! He would have had you executed in an instant if you knew you had magic! Why not just let him die?"

"You would have never forgiven yourself," Merlin said, oddly in an even cooler tone.

"How would you know that?" Arthur burst out, too angry to force himself to acknowledge that Merlin was right or to think about what he was seeing. "You've never lost a father!"

Arthur knew, as soon as Merlin stood up and glared at him, his gaze somehow fiery and icy at the same time, that he'd gone too far. "Sire," Merlin said bitingly, "you are an idiot."

The king's mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

"You do know that I'm a dragonlord?" Merlin continued coldly, "And you know that a son can only receive the power of the dragonlords when the one who gave it to him dies?" He exhaled deeply out of his nose. "You remember what happened to the last dragonlord?"

"You mean, Balinor…" Arthur ventured.

"I told you that, your highness, I told you," Merlin gritted, "But you were too busy yelling about Kilgharrah laying waste to Camelot to really care about it. But it doesn't change the fact that I saw my father died – and it was all my fault."

"I-" Arthur tried to begin, but Merlin cut it off.

"I still have nightmares about it," Merlin said, looking away, "I feel his weight in my arms as we fall to the ground, feel his breath still and his heart stop, and know that it was all my fault. He wouldn't have come if it wasn't for me. He wouldn't have died if he wasn't protecting me, if I wasn't so much of a coward to use magic in front of you, if I was stronger. And I was too cowardly even to grieve for him properly – the man who died because of me – because he was apparently just a stranger and no man was worth my tears."

Arthur flinched.

Merlin pushed his chair back, clearly attempting to maintain his composure. He looked at Arthur with a piercing stare. "Forgive me, sire, for trying to save you that kind of pain."

All the anger in Arthur had long since drained away to be replaced by guilt and shock, and he struggled to find the right words to say. But by the time he had actually had regained speech, it was too late anyway.

For the first time in a long time, it was Merlin rather than Arthur who stormed angrily away.


A/N: Merlin goes through a lot, I feel he deserves a good vent now and again. I feel like this would be a sore point if Arthur ever got mad about Merlin saying that what the conjured Igraine said was a lie.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please review! They make me happy!