Third song: 'The Emperor, the Mystery Sith'.
Original song: Macavity, the Mystery Cat
Setting: No idea. The Emperor's throne room perhaps? Or his office from the prequels? You decide.
Performed by: Padme Amidala and Leia Organa (Evil laughs performed by the Emperor)
Words only true Star Wars fans understand:
Sheev: Emperor Palpatine's actual first name. Isn't it hilarious?
Reek: The rhino-like creature in the Geonosian Arena.
oo0O0oo
(Mysterious music)
EMPEROR:
Heha-a-a-a-a! (maniacal laugh)
LEIA ORGANA:
Sheev Palpatine's the Emperor,
He's called 'Darth Sidious'
For he's the master of the Sith,
Who can kill all of us
He's the bafflement of the Jedi,
The Rebel squads despair:
For when they blow up the Death Star,
The Emperor's not there!
-o-
The Emperor, the Emperor
There's no one like the Emperor
He's written the Republic's laws
As well as from the Empire
His powers of the Force lightning would make Count Dooku stare
And when you kill the Apprentice, the Master is not there!
You may seek him in the Sarlacc,
You may look in the wampa's lair
But I tell you once, and once again:
The Emperor's not there!
PADME AMIDALA:
The Emperor's an ugly man,
His laugh is deep and low
You would know him if you saw him
For his eyes are all yellow
His brow is deeply lined with scars
His face is melted off
His robes are darker than the night
He's older than his Moff
He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a Hutt
And when you try to fight him
You will get yourself cut!
-o-
The Emperor, the Emperor,
There's no one like the Emperor
For he's a Sith in a black cape,
Who used to be the Chancellor
You may meet him in the Senate,
You may see him in his chair
But when his secret plans are found
The Emperor's not there!
LEIA:
He's outwardly respectable
PADME:
I know he cheats at wars!
LEIA:
And his Separatists are not found
(or left alive) on Mustafar
PADME:
And when Kamino's cloning…
LEIA:
Or a Jedi Knight's been rifled
PADME:
Or Alderaan is missing…
LEIA:
Or another reek's been stifled!
PADME:
Or his office's glass is broken
And Mace Windu flies through the air
BOTH:
There's the wonder of the thing:
The Emperor is there!
-o-
The Emperor, the Emperor
There's no one like the Emperor
There never was a Sith who could
Make us feel so much terror
He always has an Apprentice,
And one or two to spare
Cause when his current one gets killed,
He will have a new heir!
-o-
And they say that all the guys who's wicked deeds are notorious
LEIA:
I might mention Nute Gunray
PADME:
I might mention Grievous
BOTH:
Are nothing more than minions for the man who constantly
Just controls the operations:
The ruler of the Galaxy!
-o-
The Emperor, the Emperor
There's no one like the Emperor
He's a Sith in a black cape
Who used to be the Chancellor
You meet him in the Senate,
You may see him in his chair
But when his plan's discovered, then
The Emperor
The Emperor
The Emperor!
The Emperor…
When his plan's discovered then
The Emperor's not there!
oo0O0oo
A/N: So, that is that! (And there's how you address…) No. Stop. If I start singing now, I'll go on for hours.
Next will be 'The Awful Battle of the Clones and the Battle Droids (Together with some account of the participation of the Jedi and Sith and the intervention of the great Boba Fett)'.
