Wow, sorry this took so long, I guess life just got in the way... Well, it's here now :)

Thank you so much to everybody who reviewed or added the story to favorites and alerts! If I list your names now I might forget somebody so I better not :) I really appreciate every line you drop me though!

Disclaimer: Still don't...


Dear Teresa,

this is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. There's so much I want to tell you and in so many ways I don't know how.

When I read your letter I was stunned. I honestly felt like somebody was trying to pull away the floor from underneath me. They came close to being successful. I actually read it four times. After the third time I slowly began to realize what it must have taken you to write it. After having worked with you for so long I often take pride in telling myself that I know you amlost perfectly well, that I'm to no doubt able to read you. But you proved me wrong.

I had a hint of an idea that what you were saying was true while you were saying it. Still, your honesty took me by surprise. So, I first want to tell you that I highly respect you for being so honest with me. Mainly because I know that admitting to such things takes all you have. But I also want to thank you for having chosen me to be honest with. It really means a lot to me and I promise that your secrets will be kept well and safely in my heart.

You were right, I didn't doubt your innocence or believe your were insane for one single second. And I didn't care what the others said or did regarding the case or your internal confession that we all knew you were giving yourself. I believed in you and only you the whole time. And do you know why? Because never in my life have I met a more righteous person or anybody who is more concentrated on justice being done to others. Because you are the most selfless person that has ever entered my life.

I truly admire the strength and patience you posess to give everything you have and more to not only solve cases but give the families of the victims the closure they need to move on with their lives. Because that's what you live for. A person like this, like you, would never be capable of committing a murder. And I would have given my life if it would have helped to prove your innocence. Because the whole time I had in mind how devastating it would be if things had turned out differently. I never for one moment thought that you were guilty but at some point I feared that you were close to confessing to a crime you never committed. That would have turned my world around. Because it would have been another life I lost.

That night after the events with Carmen I thought about calling you a milion times and more. When you left the CBI and assured me that you were okay I knew that you really weren't. At first I felt bad for not pushing and begging you to talk to me. But after a bit I realized that when you were ready you would let me know. I'm surprised that you're doing so so soon but I'm relieved you are doing it at all.

One thing I've learned since I lost my family is that if one doesn't come forward with their own worries and thoughts they're most likely going to fall apart. I never took you for a person that trusts psychology. You're way to realistic and practical for that. I used to be the same way, back in the days when I made a living fooling people and screwing around with their feelings. It's hard for me to admit that it took what it did for me to realize that but it's true. One day I woke up and knew that was it. Nothing would change or get better in any way if I didn't seek guidance.

You said that for the first time in your life you're about to ask for professional help. Deep down I suspect that it's one of very few times too you ask for help at all. Maybe even the first. I've been down that road before and if you're ok with it I would like to let you in on what it was like for me. It was the hardest fight I have ever had to survive.

It's gonna be a long road. It's gonna be bumpy and full of bends and foggy. There is no way of saying what you will pass on the way and what you might run into. You'll delve into feelings and emotions that are totally unknown to you at the moment and it'll take everything you have to work your way through them. Most of the times it'll be a dark walk down memory lane with some but few sunny spots and you'll find that you'll give all your strength to wade through the valleys as fast as possible to get up on the hill again and catch the sun. Beause it will be what keeps you going.

You will meet many people on the way. Some of them you had long forgotten about and never realized how much influence they had on your life. Others you recognize because they are or used to be important parts of your life.

At some points you will notice that you're close to losing your strength entirely. You will feel that what you believed in might fall apart and that will make you think that that shatters your world and turns it upside down. You will also experience the contrast though. You will get to points where you're more motivated than ever before and one hundred percent optimistic that everything will get better and be entirely fine eventually. And it will. Not tomorrow or next week or month, but there will be a day somewhere in the future when you will realize that things are actually a lot better, maybe even good or great but at least ok.

There is one think you will need during your walk. One thing to keep you from spiralling out of control, to catch you if you fall and to pick you up when you've broken apart. You will need a travel companion. Someone to walk with you all the way, no matter if you're moving or resting. Someone to keep you going, be there for you when you've had enough and to cheer you on during your last steps towards the finish line.

I would like to be your travel companion. If you let me. I dont want to pressure you because I know you're not one to share your thoughts and fears and worries. But I would be honored to walk with you on your journey. If you choose to go by yourself I will not try to change your mind because you will have given it lots of thought. Instead I will wish you the best of luck and save travels. You know me, I'll still wonder very loudly sometimes how it's going. But if you decide you want company on the road I promise to be there for you all the way until the end, no matter where it might take you.

I know you can do it, you can do anything you want.

Stay save, Teresa.

Patrick


A/N: I'm planning on leaving it here unless you have other plans :) Thank you for reading! And even more for reviewing... :)