Axel… listen to me. This is really stupid.

"Shut up. You're a figment of my imagination." Axel muttered as he guided his car through traffic. He was going to his first appointment with Dr. Zexion and wanted to be early.

No I'm not.

"Then you're a symptom of my insanity. Either way, hush." Axel pulled into the parking spot, frowning. He was getting more accustomed to speaking to Roxas… and he thought that was a bad thing. Roxas wasn't real.

The not real person who gave you a real doll.

"Stop using logic here." That part of things made Axel uneasy. He had the doll with him in a brown paper bag… it was embarrassing to admit, but he felt better with it nearby. Besides, he should probably show it to Dr. Zexion. It was likely a symptom of his problem.

It had been a week since the problem started and Roxas was… disconcertingly real in some ways. He'd absently supplied Axel with answers to Sora's math problems, even when Axel was hissing at him to stop. And that was the kind of thing Axel just wasn't any good at, so how was Roxas doing it if he was just a sign of mental illness? Unless he was some kind of alternate personality, but that was usually caused by childhood trauma, Axel had been told. His childhood had been nice, if a little boring.

You don't even remember your childhood. Stop lying to yourself.

"Of course I remember my childhood!" Axel hissed at Roxas, but he didn't stop.

Oh really? Do you remember the name of the person who sent you through the great rift? He was your best friend. He convinced you that you were the only one who could survive the trip. Do you remember that?

"What? No! I remember playing in an oak tree, which is what happened! Shut up!" Axel said uneasily as a vague memory seemed to bubble up from somewhere. A dark place… a sweet smell… a sound that was like tinkling bells… but then the memory, if it had even been a memory, was gone. Axel took a deep breath, focusing on walking into the Doctor's office. People were starting to give him odd looks. Talking to yourself was one thing… arguing with yourself was something else again. Roxas started to say something, but then seemed to think better of it and fell silent. Axel was grateful for that. He wasn't sure how much more of the blond he could take.

"Hi, I'm here to see Dr. Zexion?" He said to the receptionist. She frowned at him, then looked at her computer.

"You're Axel?" He nodded, and she pointed at the chairs. "Please, have a seat." Axel obeyed, picking up an automotive magazine and quickly paging through it. He liked reading about cars. It didn't take very long for the receptionist to call him up, though. "The Doctor will see you." She pointed out a door to him, and he obediently opened it, stepping inside.

Demyx's brother was a bit of a surprise. Very slender, with odd, blueish purple hair that went over one eye, he was… very trendy. Dr. Zexion stood up, offering him a hand, and Axel took it with a smile as he wondered if homosexuality could run in the family. He knew Demyx was gay and if his brother wasn't gay too, he would eat his briefcase without sauce.

You haven't got a briefcase? Axel ignored Roxas as he took a seat. He'd found, in the past week, that Roxas was very literal minded. Explaining phrases to him got a bit tedious after a while. I can't help it, I'm new here. Not like you. Roxas sounded a touch irritated now.

"So, Axel. My brother Demyx tells me you've been hearing voices?" Zexion's tone was gently interrogative. Axel nodded.

"Yeah… it calls itself Roxas. It all started in a club…" Axel went over the whole story for Zexion, who frowned and took a few notes. "Now he keeps telling me I need to remember, but he won't tell me what."

It would be empty words. And I'm not a… psychiatrist. I don't know how to do this. Axel blinked at the edge of despair in Roxas' voice. Zexion tilted his head to one side.

"Would he be willing to tell me what you need to remember?" Zexion was clearly humoring him, but Axel didn't mind. They probably needed to get to the root of his delusions.

I could… Axel, would you lend me your voice? Roxas said hesitantly, and Axel blinked.

"How do I do that?" Zexion watched, a small frown on his face, as Axel spoke to himself. Axel seemed quite sane in most ways… in fact, he seemed to glow with health and energy… but this could indeed be a sign of schizophrenia.

You… have to want it. And not fight against me. If you do you'll shut me out, you do that a lot. Axel frowned, wondering what that meant… but tried to relax and meditate. He hadn't meditated in a long time, but he remembered how. That's good. Keep that mindset. As he tried to stay relaxed, he felt himself blink and his head move without direction. It was… an odd feeling. And very uncomfortable. He started to tense, but then deliberately kept himself calm.

"Dr. Zexion." The voice that came out of him sounded… younger. Zexion blinked, then swallowed.

"You are Roxas?" It was like seeing an entirely new personality emerging, and Zexion was fascinated. He'd heard of multiple personalities but never seen one… Axel smiled, but the smile was small and restrained. Not like Axel's wide, brilliant smiles at all.

"Yes. Doctor, Axel needs to remember before it is too late." Axel leaned forward as his voice… Roxas' voice… took on a note of intensity. "His enemies are coming. Some have already arrived, but we thwarted them. There will be more."

"Please, tell me what Axel needs to remember." This was fascinating. He'd never seen such a thing before, and it didn't match anything in his diagnostic manuals. A delusional multiple-personality? Oblivious to his musings, Roxas continued.

"Axel is a visitor from a higher reality." Zexion blinked. That was very… creative. "It all happened a very long time ago…" Axel frowned, in that way that was clearly… not Axel. "I'm simplifying here. There are nuances I can't communicate… anyway. There was a religious schism in our dimension about the origins of our people. It's hard to explain, but in a way, Axel is also a time traveler… although we don't think this is actually our past. It's a version of our past that could have been. I know that probably doesn't make much sense, but it's pretty much accepted that your dimension is a reflection of our past. Many of Axel's kind tried to go back here, but it is a very difficult trip and no one was sure what lay at the end. None returned or sent any messages, so it was assumed that this dimension was incompatible with our kind of life." Roxas paused as Zexion stared. He hadn't expected something this elaborate. "Axel though, is different. He was born with an unusual gift… if you could see him the way I can, you'd know he's twice the… size of most of his kind. And he radiates energy. Most of his kind live off various emissions, gravitons and energy pulses. Axel doesn't need to. He actually emits enough energy for others of his kind to live off him. It's truly rare… and that's what I'm living off of at the moment. Unfortunately, unless he remembers I cannot assume a physical form for long. The drain on me is too great and his ambient energy is not enough. I need his permission to do more, and he can't give it until he remembers more."

"So Axel survived this trip because he generates his own energy?" Zexion was fascinated. This was really a very good story. Axel… Roxas shrugged.

"Probably. That was the idea behind sending him, at least. Humans can feel the energy too, I think… that's why Axel is so popular. Being around him literally makes people feel better as they take in a bit of his energy. It's like basking in the sun. But I'm getting distracted." Roxas paused a moment, drawing a deep breath and frowning. Axel's mouth felt funny, but he wasn't sure why. Roxas couldn't know that Axel wanted a drink. "Anyway. Axel survived and began sending back reports as planned. His reports confirmed one version of the creation theory, although with some interesting differences. Unfortunately, that triggered a rather massive religious war." Zexion blinked. This was…. Extremely elaborate. He didn't believe a word of it, but it really was remarkable. "That was a long time ago. No one really blamed Axel… he was just doing what he was asked to… but a lot of us died. At this point, the creation theory he confirmed is accepted and Axel is considered to be a… well, call it a prophet. He sends us regular updates on your dimension and what it's like to be human." Roxas paused, frowning slightly. "My mouth feels strange."

"You probably need a drink. Here…" Zexion got him a glass of water, which Roxas regarded with a frown before tentatively drinking.

"Physical bodies are odd. Anyway… recently a splinter group has formed. They are small and fanatical, very dangerous. They have a prophet of their own who says that Axel's messages are false and that the true way is different… I don't have words for this. But the point is, they want to stop Axel's messages. And they will do so by any means necessary. So I was created and sent to protect Axel. That is my purpose in life… until my mission is complete, I will be incomplete, only half a true being. I must succeed, Dr. Zexion." Roxas' voice was hard and filled with a driving need. "Not just for Axel, but for myself. So I can become real. Axel can do that for me, make me whole… if only he remembers!" Roxas paused for a moment, gauging Dr. Zexion, and sighed. "You don't believe a word I'm saying, do you." He wasn't exactly surprised. He'd been telling Zexion the truth mainly for something to do, not because he thought it would make much difference. Although if he could somehow convince Zexion to help Axel remember…

"It's a very interesting story, Roxas." Dr. Zexion said as diplomatically as possible, and Roxas winced for a moment before giving him a hard look.

"Hopefully you'll realize it's more than that before it's too late." Axel blinked as Roxas abruptly let go, and cleared his throat. Zexion watched, fascinated, as he saw the real Axel come back.

"Uh… okay. That was weird. Here's the doll Roxas gave to me…" Axel let Zexion examine Chemistra as he thought uneasily about what Roxas had said. Roxas had been right, it was just words. But it was so… so detailed. Sure, Axel read science fiction at times and had a good imagination. But would he have come up with this kind of story for himself? It was bizarre.

Hopefully Zexion could help.


Later in the day.

Axel moaned softly in his sleep, tossing and turning. Sora made a small, protesting sound but didn't awaken… and Axel subsided as he began to dream. If he had been awake, the dreams would have alarmed him… but he wasn't, and his mind ranged freely into the realm of memory.

He ranged freely among the vague, gaseous matter clouds and currents of power emissions that made up his universe. It was beautiful. If Axel had been interested in cosmic theory, he might have understood with his insight into humanity that what he was seeing was the universe as it would be in billions upon billions of years. When energies had dissipated and almost all stars had died. But life still existed. It was just a new form of life… life that existed as pure energy and lived in the void. Matter only existed as clouds, in this far off future, and the thought of matter bodies and constructs was ridiculous.

Another of his kind approached, and Axel called a greeting. The other answered enthusiastically, and they briefly swirled together before Axel separated with alien laughter. Others of his kind were always glad to see him. Axel didn't mind. He understood why they enjoyed his presence, and it made him happy to see them happy. He had an uncomplicated view of life.

"Have you seen the latest on the gala-bands?" Axel briefly let his mind range onto those bands of information. Information was constantly sleeting by, being carried on various wavelengths. Humanity would have understood it as a new version of the internet. Although the lack of porn might have been puzzling. Axel's people had passions, but reproduction was not really among them.

"No… you mean the fashion in ----" The word he used could not be translated. It was something frivolous, in any case. The other ruffled in impatience.

"No, I mean the rift project. Things are getting… not very good. Have you thought about it?" Axel felt a great reluctance to discuss it, but sighed.

"I really don't want to. I like it here. That could kill me." Dissolution was not something he looked forward to. He loved life, loved it intensely. His friend voiced quick equation that conveyed understanding and compassion.

"I know, you're right. But… you're still the best choice." Then his friend said his name. It was not Axel. No… his name in this place was another mathematical equation. All names were, and they were named by the elders shortly after creation. But most names were complicated and pretty, just like the bearers. Axel's name was very different, in keeping with his different nature. Short and fierce, it had progressions that hinted at exponential increases of force. It was a name of power that reflected the fact that his nature was power. Power unrestrained and unchecked. "I know I shouldn't be pressuring you, but…" He made a descending equation that expressed his despair. Axel understood. Things were getting very bad.

Religion was one of the few things his people still fought over. And religious wars were among the most brutal known to them. In that way, they had not changed in the least from the matter creatures who had eventually given rise to them. At least, that was one theory. There was another major creation theory… that they had arisen spontaneously from the emissions of black holes. Axel wasn't sure which was true. But traveling through the great rift could tell them the truth.

The great rift was three black holes. Sometime in the past, they had formed an orbit around each other. The flexes and stresses involved were… ghastly. But his people had mapped them out precisely. Black holes were a source of food for them, and the great rift was very rich. But as they mapped them out, they'd realized that the rift generated such stresses that it actually could serve as a gateway to… somewhere else. The past? Alternate dimensions? For a long time they hadn't been sure, but after sending through various probes they had determined that the rift gave them access to various shadow worlds. So named because they seemed to be shadows of the real world, which was of course theirs. And they seemed to go back in time. The probes had shown more primitive versions of themselves… but after a certain point, the probes stopped coming back. They weren't sure why, but they had gone back just far enough to ignite the religious debate without answering any questions. It was maddening.

So to try to stop the debate without war, more probes had been sent… and some of his own kind. None had returned. It was frightening… but if there was no good source of energy on the other side, that would easily explain why they had died. And Axel was different. He needed no energy from outside himself, he generated it and released it to the environment naturally. A very rare gift that the elders had always tried to replicate, but it seemed to be a matter of pure chance. Axel wasn't the only one to have it, but the only other he knew of was very old and tired. He wasn't suited to this task.

"I'll think about it." He didn't want to see his people suffer a religious war. And… a small thrill went through him. Yes, it would be dangerous. But if he survived… he would see something none of his people had ever seen. Something they had only dreamed of.

Was it worth the risk? Axel would think about it. But he had a feeling he knew what his answer would be, in the end.

He loved a good adventure.

Axel turned over again, and the dream dissipated into something more prosaic… a dream about making crème brulee and not being able to find the torch. In the morning, he would remember nothing at all. And so life went on.