The trek back home was uncomfortable at the very least. The silence between us seemed to stretch on for eons while I laid back and observed my brother trying to slither away from me. I suppose it was to be expected, given that he caught me snooping. From the distance I was at, the scent of suspicion and paranoia lingered from Roxas' body, and all the way to my nostrils, and in turn, made my stomach churn. Then again, that should also be expected of, coming from a brother who was wary of every single action the other did.

When he suddenly stopped, I nearly ran into him. My mind was set on going home, and having a chat stall us made time feel endless. I could tell he was hesitant to even ask me questions in the first place. So what's pushing his buttons?

"Sora."

"Si."

"I want you to be honest with me when I ask you this, okay?"

"I've got nothing to hide, brother."

Reluctantly, he nodded, as if he needed a minute to take in my words. "Good. Then you'll be truthful when I ask you what you were doing near the Shores then?"

If I were to be truthful, he would only get upset, so the only other option was to feign honesty. "It's like I told Axel: mom told me to get you."

"What for?"

It's a Friday. She always gets her paychecks today. "So we could order take-out. Didn't know what you wanted."

"And you couldn't have texted me because…?"

I snorted to his simple response. "Because your phone is practically useless if it's dead every time you go out."

The small nods of 'Okay, his story adds up so far…' told me that I was in the clear for now. Of course, Roxas had yet to notice that he had certain quirks he did when he did particular actions. His incessant nodding was one of these things.

"Alright then, that seems plausible. But why were you so interested in the man I was speaking with?"

"Who?" It was better to act the fool than the man who knew too much.

"Don't play coy, Sora. Axel spilled. By the way, he sends his regards on how unbelievably easy you were to dupe. C'mon, where did you think the man's loyalties lie?"

If that was the case, I would have my payback on that freak, though it would have to wait. At the present, I was sure I would have my hands full with Roxas. "Alright, alright, I give—I was snooping. I wasn't planned, to be honest."

"Given your track record, "honesty" coming from you is pretty rich."

"Do you always see me in that kind of light? Like I'm always trying to gain the upper hand all the time?"

"Hm, not always but most of the time, yeah, since I can't trust you."

"Ouch, Rox. I didn't want the brutal truth. Spare a brother, would ya?"

"You'll live. Now c'mon." I felt a rough pat to my shoulder in his shitty attempt to reroute my thoughts. "I'm starving."

However, that still didn't remedy anything. "And?"

"And hurry your ass up so we can eat already!"

"Yanno, Roxas, it's high time you came out with your own secrets. I can only imagine the load you must be carrying." If he wasn't going to come out of his own accord, then I had to lure him into it.

"Screw off, Sora." He was starting to get agitated now—which was my goal. Roxas often spoke what was truly on his mind when he got upset. In this case, I was hoping he would shed some light on himself and what he had been up to. Hell, he might even spill about that Saïx guy.

"Who was that man you were with then? And why did Axel make such a big deal out of him?"

"It isn't any of your business who I was talking to."

"Why not? You got a dirty, little secret for me to unwrap, Rox?"

"No! And quit calling me that!" My eyes caught the veins that popped to life on the temples on his temples. At times, I wondered if I made up the things I saw. It all just seemed so predictable—at least in my perspective.

I knew Roxas had been hiding something, and that when I would eventually confront him about it, he would take it none too well—as he had then. It's not that I have been secretly honing myself to become a psychic—that whole hoo-doo jazz creeps me out. No, what I mean to say is that I had only a gut feeling about these kinds of things. I suppose you could say it's like an amplified intuition of some kind. That said, if I had said sense, then I would have naturally heeded this warning, right? Well then, you have a lot to learn about me.

"So, you're not going to tell me who Saïx is?"

"Go to hell!"

"I'll take that as a 'try again later'." I knew I had to reconcile with my brother eventually, even if I didn't understand why I was particularly at fault. After all, I was just trying to look out for him—what was so wrong about that? What specifically was he keeping tucked under his feathers and why? God forbid the prince of the castle be upset—the kingdom would be in a total state of panic. God forbid someone asks a couple of personal questions—but his reaction only piqued my interest to dig up what he was up to. In that moment, I even started to scheme of various ways I could exploit the truth; but all of that came to a screeching halt when I saw the Hummer towering adjacent to my foster mom's puny Chevrolet. It was weird for him to show up out of the blue. What impeccable timing.

The natural heir to the throne made his dramatic entrance seconds ahead of me. Roxas was a hurricane that tumbled on in the front door, leaving a wake of confusion in its path. Said confusion affected two victims (excluding me): my foster mother, Catherine, and my adoption counselor, Zack Fair. The mother, playing her role, tended to the disgruntled, angsty teen who secluded himself in his room. Feigning ignorance to the other players, I expressed the notion that I had no idea or any involvement of Roxas' current state.

But enough of that. It's high time I told you a little about Zack, as he was heavily involved in my past. I'll give you the 30-second preview version: He, who was akin to me in terms of our origin, also grew up in an orphanage. Maybe he pitied me, or saw a bit of him in me, or even is a saint—who knows what his motives were back then—but he took me on as his own. I wasn't necessarily his favourite out of the lot, because there were those who was grade-A material to get adopted, and by that, I mean they just had the full package: calm temperament; charming and/or adorable looks; fondness of people; and the ability to sell themselves. Granted, that may have not been going through their minds, but it sure seemed that way to me. Years went on, and I simply stayed at the orphanage, as I had no place to go. Did I think of running away? All the time. I even managed to pull it off, but only until Zack caught me—he always did. So like gum to his boot, I was stuck. Maybe it was the other way around. Who knows. Eventually, at 15, I was adopted by Roxas' mother. Zack was overjoyed, and I guess that made me happy too. He took care of the transition, and even stops by time to time to see how I'm adjusting. It's been three years since then, but we've known each other so long that we're bound to continue meeting in the future.

As for Zack specifically, he knew more about me than I did him, and it bothered me. I was only able to piece together some information from what he let on about his personal life, but aside from that, he didn't speak much of his childhood. The only thing I was certain of was that he was originally from the mountains. Even after the amount of time I knew him, there was always something new I found out (by chance) that puzzled me. It was surprising because despite being the person I knew the longest, I felt at times, that I didn't know him at all. I always craved his secret—how he managed to keep it all under wraps. I envied him, and consequently, I wished to learn from him. He has such a tight lock on whatever it is he was hiding, and all the while, he managed to walk in the light and not look back. I wish I could do the same.

"What's up with your brother, Sora?" Catherine—my foster mother—inquired. She took me in, though some would call her motive for adopting me extremely selfish, and even absurd. I wanted to feel some kind of emotional attachment to her, but it never happened. Not three years ago, and not now.

"Dunno. When I asked, he just stormed off, so I am just as clueless as you are, Mom." There were so many lies embedded into that sentence, but it was all the more proof that I was like a grand female arachnid (because the males always get eaten), spinning these white lies. Of course, they were nothing by themselves, but string by string, they would make up the web soon enough.

"Really? Seemed like you were the plague to him." Ever the observant one, Zack was quick to pick up on things.

"Knowing him, he probably thinks I am." I shrugged, but it was false. I didn't know him at all. "But what are you doing, sniffing around here?"

I heard a quick huff from Catherine in response. "Sora, show some respe-"

"Ms. Hardt, it's fine—Sora's like a brother, so I'll tolerate his unruliness. As long as you allow me to get my due vengeance back on him."

"Nothing too extreme now. You two catch up; I want to go check up on Roxas. And I don't want my table broken again!" For such a small woman, she had a voice to her. Her dainty footsteps made their way upstairs, leaving me and Zack alone in the salon. Before I even saw it coming, a quick hand slapped the back of my neck, leaving the skin screaming in burning agony.

"Ow! What the hell, Zack?!"

His cheeky grin answered my question silently. "Payback, Sora. You will never be able to one-up me at that game. 'Sniffing around'? Is that any way to show homage to the man who practically raised you?"

"Whatever man," I shook my head, dismissing his grandiose demand. "So, really, what's up?"

"I had some time to kill so I thought I would check up on you."

"I'm pretty sure it's the other way around nowadays."

"Oh?" Echoing chuckles filled the room. "Is that so?"

"Of course. You're not getting any younger, man."

"Sora, I'm so hurt." A gloved hand clutched his breast in "agony". "I practically raised you, and here you are, calling me 'gramps' to my face."

"Grow up. I have something to tell you."

Perfect pearly whites straightened into a smile. "How did I know I would come to some revelation by you tonight?"

"Shut up, you didn't know." I sneered at him, and saw how the spiked ends of his jet-black hair were as sharp as his ego. "Anyway, I can't talk about it here. Call me in two days and I'll tell you in person."

"Is it serious?"

"Mn…I'm not sure as of now."

"Well, decide now."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Sora," A huff (it seemed that was a common response from those near me) blew out from Zack's lips, timing perfectly with his hand streaking through his hair. "You're lucky I have a soft spot for you. I'll give you 'til tomorrow."

"Sure. I'll text you. So you can run along now, and go play Angry Bird in your cubicle now."

"Y'know, my record's 25." Zack proudly boasted.

"Bull."

"Sora-" The sharp chirp made me cringe, and I swear I saw a like reaction from Zack's body. Catherine's petite feet danced down the carpeted stairs. "Go bring some tea to your brother's room. He's not feeling too well. As for you, Mr. Fair, I'm afraid it's getting late, but you're more than welcome to visit Sora another time. And teach him some mannerisms along the way."

"Of course, Ms. Hardt. I wouldn't miss such an opportunity." I wanted to use that tea to wash off Zack's smug look, but of course, I remained composed. I had a lot to learn from him, after all. I knew that I would get my due payback in time.

Post Zack's departure, I was left alone with Catherine in the living room. It was always very strained whenever either of us tried to speak to each other. I tried my best to act what you would call "normal" and interact with her—but it was just far too boring for me. It was a tireless cycle that tired me. Whatever she came up with, it wasn't anything original or unique. School, work, or life at home. Would it kill her to actually try to have an interesting conversation with me? I rummaged over these thoughts while I boiled water in the teakettle, impatiently waiting for the first of bubbles to pop. To pass the time, I fiddled around with social media, praying the mother wouldn't try to strike up yet another dull conversation. I managed to send Riku a quick text before the kettle finally whistled, and I crafted the tea swiftly, just so I could escape to the confines of my room.

I placed the tea on the table next to Roxas' room, giving a specific knock to indicate that it was me. "Tea's outside." I don't think I have ever walked down the stairs so fast that I nearly slipped on the carpet. Regardless, I knew I had to just get away from the two of them in that moment—I couldn't think, much less breathe with them around.

I knew I couldn't anything accomplished from my current standstill of a position. I had to find out what exactly Roxas was up to without drawing attention. My only option—sleep.

Or at least, I tried. The clock that then read '2:38 AM' was a reminder that I wasn't going anywhere. I was fully awake, thanks to a house party down the street, and I felt excruciatingly restless. Without reason, my muscles were sore, and my mind couldn't keep still, leaping canyons' gaps across from thought to thought. I estimated that if the party had been going on for at least two hours, then someone (most likely the divorced dad on the corner of the street) would complain to the police about the noise. Still, I didn't want to just sit still and wait for someone to do something. I checked my phone, but still no reply from Riku. Though soon enough, something else would get my attention.

"Yeah, I can hear you."

It was Roxas, but to whom was he speaking to? And why was he up? I stayed silent in order to find out what he was up to. My door was only by a crack, but it was enough to let me eavesdrop on his conversation.

"Yeah, yeah, I considered the deal you offered. Though it's a ridiculous asking price…what? Of course I understand what I would give up—I'm not deaf nor dumb, mind you...alright. Alright! Sheesh, I heard you, gramps."

Gramps. So it's a man that's older than him—by Roxas' definition, it's any man older than him, so that was a broad range and didn't have to necessarily apply to only elderly men. In addition, it didn't sound as if they were on the best of terms. But I was more curious about this deal: what were the conditions and what exactly did Roxas want? And with whom was he offering something? What was he giving up?

"Ok sure, I'll meet you. Across from the florist on Spring Avenue okay? What, you want me to plan our rendezvous at some creepy motel? I think I'll pass. Fi-yes, I'll be prompt. Three. Okay. Okay, bye." Roxas finished his call with a single huff—he was either frustrated or anxious or both. I didn't know. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became with both myself and Roxas. Why couldn't he just tell me what was going on? What could force him to practically push me away every chance he got and keep his life a huge secret from me? Wasn't he the one who wanted a brother in the first place?

In my thought process, I was too far gone to notice that my secret eavesdropping wasn't all that secret. Roxas' footsteps alerted me of him being aware of something stirring in the house. It would be too risky if I tried to slither back into my room and play possum in my bed. Naturally, I settled for the next best thing.

"Who's there?" He took the bait.

"Roxas?"

"Sora? Why are you up?"

"To get the last Coke before Mom took it. You?" I closed the fridge door, thanking my luck that my room was only mere steps away from the kitchen.

"Couldn't sleep. But you're seriously gonna down a can of caffeine to help you sleep?"

You don't see me questioning you about your shady calls and 'rendezvouses'. "You're the one with sleeping troubles, not me."

"So the Coke just beckoned you to wake up now?"

"Is that a problem?"

""I'd say you were lying out of your ass."

"Touchy today, aren't we?"

"Only because you don't give me any breathing room, Sora!"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you've been on my case for a while and it's really just…pissing me off!"

"Oh shut up! Not everything is centered around you!" I felt the urge to throw the stupid can in his face. "Yanno what? You want your breathing space? Fine." I retreated to my room to only put on pants and grab my cell before heading out. If he wanted some room, then so be it. He certainly didn't question it, and I didn't need any qualms about doing whatever I wanted to do in my spare time.

Who said I had to protect him in the first place? If he didn't want it, then he could fuck off—he could act self-worthy in his own time without me. I had no obligation to care for him, so I was going to start thinking about myself for a change. My two feet would soon take me outside my apartment complex, beyond my neighbourhood, and then on the main street. Truth be told, I had no clue where I was going, and relied on my gut alone to guide me. In time, I began to succumb to the fact that I was alone. I knew that that it would continue to hold true for most of my life, but it was difficult to deal with then. Who could I turn to?

In that silence of my mind, it really scared me that I couldn't think of a single soul to save me. I felt myself crumbling, and the tape and glue I was using to hold myself up was shambling down like a tower of cards. I was always flip-flopping between two sides of myself: one who had to lock everything away into this miniscule, crumbled up ball, and then there's this shell of me who can't even talk to his mother to save his life, let alone warn her of what her son is up to. I wasn't solid. There was a gap in between that locked core and the puny casing surrounding it—there was that huge chunk of fleshy material missing to protect the core. That material, I realized, had to come from my own lies. I had to spin my own fortress of lies, and make it impenetrable, so that no one could get in. Right then, the front doors were wide open, leaving me vulnerable. Had I stayed with Roxas a second longer, I would have cracked. I was a poor and pitiful soul, and fell deeper and deeper into my own darkness.

Interrupting my spiral downwards was a familiar ringtone—one I chose for him specifically. It brought me consequent anxiety and relief to see my friend's name pop up on the screen. I battled with myself over whether to answer it. To pick up would be to risk my weakness being revealed, but I knew I could maintain some composure. However, to not pick up would be to just wallow in my self-despairing state, and the first option was sounding all the more ideal.

"Hello?"

"Hey, man, you said we needed to talk?"

Talk about timing.

"Sora?"

"Yeah?"

"You...alright?"

I don't know what possessed me, but I laughed in that moment. I guess it was an inside joke exclusive to me. "I have no clue, Riku. Not one."

"Sora, stop fucking around."

I had nothing in response to say. I knew Riku wasn't one to start fights with, because once he got going, there was no stopping him. I knew from experience that he was a man you'd rather not have opposing you.

"Sora?"

"I'm here."

"Where are you?"

"Not at home."

"For the love of Christ, speak more than five syllables."

"Spring Avenue. Sir."

"Don't do anything stupid."

Your timing's awful, Riku.

Once he finally tracked me down (my cerulean parka was practically a highlighter in the snow), I got into his car without comment, and not a single word passed from our mouths. I suppose he did know me, to some extent. He knew that my lips were sealed and that the only way for anything to get out was if I was able to confide in him—something I showed him. By me being silent, I was demonstrating that I didn't trust Riku, despite him helping me out in that moment. I hadn't even recognized this until as of that moment, and I felt a sharp pang of guilt. He was doing this out of goodwill—a friend helping a friend; though the person who he aided never reciprocated his feelings. What a fucking asshole.

Would be it that bad if I decided to start trusting him?

His house was considerably smaller than mine, but that was probably because he didn't have to live with a little shit of a brother. From what Riku told me, his dad worked late shifts, and his mom worked in the early hours of the morning. Occasionally they met up for lunch, but often times, they were either working or sleeping. Such was the case then, when the whole house was silent. Riku announced that we had the house to ourselves, as both of them were on a tight push to finish their projects at their works. Because of this, Riku was independent most of the time. The funny thing was that their family managed to function just fine. Despite not having enough time to see each other, everybody held up their fair share of work. Maybe my own "family" could take notes. The entirety of their home had an overwhelming, but sedating effect on me.

"Are you going to say something?" My host inquired, forcing me to make my decision then.

I took a seat on one of the sofas, buying myself some time to actually remember how to speak. All the while, I stared directly at Riku, but was silent. I watched his face grow from stern, to confused, to concerned, and lastly, lost. What exactly did I look like, I wonder? All I know is that it drew him to take the seat next to me, and I was all the more compelled to tell him. It was so simple. Not just about Roxas, but everything—bit by bit. I felt fear at the risks that could come along with it, so I repressed it.

Lips rolled in, and my teeth held them in place to stop them from leaking anything. They opened to release a deep sigh that was shortly accompanied by a dry laugh as I reclined back on the couch. Surely to Riku, I must have seemed mad. God, what did he think of me?

"I don't want to know, Sora. Honestly, if it tore you up this bad, then I don't want to imagine what it'll do to me. So spare me." His voice was quiet, but deep and solid enough for me to hear. I nodded in understanding, but I felt so disappointed. Like, I "almost" told Riku of my true past. I was seconds away, only to be stopped. Some would call it fate, but I call it not making one of the gravest mistakes of my life. He could have sent me to prison if he found out.

"Alright." It was all I could say. I was used to no consolation. It shouldn't be a surprise.

"But, you can stay here for the night. And maybe I'll order take-out. Maybe."

"Maybe?"

His face changed to that of a child's. "Depends on if the mood strikes me. After all, you walked to the middle of the country, and had my ass drive all the way there—gas doesn't pay for itself, Sora."

Although it was crude, I found myself smiling at his joke. I didn't have much to say, but I was relieved to have my mind taken off my situation at home. We made our way to his room, and later on, Riku decided to grant my endless-growling stomach the gift of Chinese. Once settled in his chambers, I stripped myself to the bare minimum, as the AC was a thing not to be tampered with, even if it meant your bedroom feeling like Satan's personal sauna. I staked my territory on the sole bed, and had to cover myself, as it just felt uncomfortable being bare in front of a person. Riku explained that he often went in the nude, and I cut him off with a train of "UGH STOP!" so I didn't have to picture it.

"Feeling better now?" He had to question at my vocal response.

"No thanks to you." I sniped in my reply, then rolling over in bed.

"Admit it, you couldn't live without me."

"No, but I could live without the image you so ardently painted in my head."

"'Ardently'? Don't tell me you're a high-school flunk at day and mad-hatter scientist at night?"

No, Riku, I'm a whole different breed entirely.

"Shut the hell up, man, and get some sleep!" I tried to act normal, but for Riku, that was bland. I totally agreed with him though.

"Can you at least spill about any new development about your 'estranged filial relationship', as you call it? I'm dying for the next episode." Stuffing his mouth with Cactuar Chips, he stared dead at me, awaiting his fill of entertainment.

"I honestly think he might…be into men."

"No shit?"

"No, you dumbass, get your head out of the damn TV set and realize that this is my brother, not another one of your shows on Netflix!" I threw my pillow, only to have it miss Riku entirely. I couldn't do much in this heat, let alone throw a cushion. It was then that I decided to open the window, as I felt like I was being drained of each drop of water in my body. Naturally, I had to retreat to put on my clothes then, then making the whole point of taking them off pointless. Riku protested, but I threatened to tell Roxas of his assumption to keep him silent.

"Gee, someone's touchy." A quiet hiss from the silver-maned teen did nothing to stop me from opening the window full-blast. The impact of the winter air hitting me was what I felt when I heard Riku's words. I said more or less the same to Roxas, and it just shut me up.

It seemed that words would always win the fight against me, so I caved. Sitting up, I shrugged to Riku, motioning him to come closer, like he was a child during 'Storytime'. "I'll tell you about what happened with me and Rox, but you also need to help me out, man."

"Sure, Sora. Is that what got you tore up earlier?"

"Uh…yeah, yeah."

"I know I said I didn't want to hear it, but let's hear it." He made himself comfortable in the eggshell-cushion across from me. I was worried that he would only think of the matters as trivial, and that I made a big deal out of everything, but something in me just sensed that nothing was right at all about what Roxas was doing.

"I need you to sniff out a man named Saïx. He and whoever he associates with. Because Roxas is getting involved and I know it."

"Y'know, you really sound like a parent. A parent that's too on edge and needs to take some time off."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that maybe you've been thinking about this whole Roxas deal too long, Sora. You're letting it get to you and take up every little space in your mind. Tell me, did you two have a fight before you left?"

"Yeah, so?"

"And what brought it on?"

"I wanted a Coke."

"What?"

"Look, Riku," I had to slow down my heart, because he was right—I was letting this get to me. "While I appreciate your counseling, it won't do me as much help as you finding this guy. Now, I know you know people. Everyone knows you."

A much satisfied look came on his face. "Who wouldn't want to meet all this charisma and devilish smile?"

"So naturally, you're my best bet. As well as any "deals" Roxas has been making with them."

"Them?"

"Anyone. Male. Adult."

"I'm a part-time informant, not a database. You want info, you gotta specify who your target is. Now I can look into this "Saïx" dude, but you gotta give me a description of what he looks like."

"Easy. Blue hair—and I mean like, electric blue—that looks like his haircut was never finished. Uh…oh, he has this weird little cross smack dab in the middle of his face—like a scar or something. And these freaky beady little gold eyes. Also, I think he cosplays, because he had these bizarre pointy-"

"I know exactly who you're talking about."

This time, Riku lost all humor in his face. Eyes downcast, I read him trying to pick-and-choose which words would be most suiting to break the news to me. Whatever it was, I came up with various theories in my mind of whatever kind of danger he posed—and it made me all the more aware. I was ignorant of this man's identity, but Riku was not. Roxas wasn't. Who else knew him?

"That man, "Saïx", as apparently some call him, is some bad news, and you have every right to be wary of him. But as a friend, I'm warning you not to get involved with him, because I have seen and heard some of the things his group can do, and it's not pretty-"

"It doesn't matter if it's shit-ugly; if Roxas is involved-"

"Then it might be too late."

"No, it's not." I refused to believe his words. "Don't you dare say that to me."

Riku backed off, but his pity for me was filling up the entire room with its scent. He busied himself with his cell, which had been constantly going off the entire time I was there. All the more of an excuse for him not to say that my brother's too far gone.

"Don't say that to me when I know he hasn't made a commitment to the group yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I overheard him speaking to someone on the phone about some 'deal'. I know the meeting place and time too."

"Well shit, Sora, maybe you can stop him then."

"Do I really have a choice?"

"You've always done as you pleased, so my guess is nah, not really. I'll help you out any way I can." A double-pat on my left bicep. A manly gesture among friends and kin, but to me, it was a symbol of promise that Riku wouldn't leave me alone on this. He had every right to abandon me, but he didn't. I could trust him.

Right?


A/N: Hey all! Silas here. Now, wow, has this story been overdue for an update or what? Fortunately, I am planning to update this puppy (along with two other fics on this account) every other Tuesday! So, please leave any feedback on stuff you want to see in the next chapter! I know Sora's behavior is quite unusual for his bubbly, plunky, and overall get-go persona, but don't you worry, there's a reason why I made him this way! To be continued!

-S.