Setting: Aboard the Odyssey: Hallway, Commissary
Tuesday 1900 hours ship's time
Jack suggested that they see if anything was still available in the commissary at this hour after Sam's stomach had very audibly made its hunger known. When Sam had grabbed her middle and looked embarrassedly at Jack, he shrugged and said, "Well, I don't know about you, but my body definitely missed lunch today. Come on- let's find the commissary on this tub."
Sam fell into step with Jack then paused to let a couple of crewmen with their arms full pass by. She then walked behind him for a moment. "Oh, please! You've got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed suddenly.
Jack stopped and said, "What?"
"Tell me I really don't look like that from behind when I walk."
"What do you mean, Sam?" Jack asked liking the way her name was rolling off his lips. "Why do you think I took our six so often on missions? For that view you have right there," he said as he slowly started to walk forward again. He then deliberately placed a hand on each hip and leisurely slid them around his buttocks.
Sam watched him wide-eyed with wonder even as her body was heating with arousal. She started to wish she could feel what he was doing then it hit her, 'Jack was actually touching her body. Jack is touching my ASS!' Suddenly Sam felt an intense pressure that bordered on pain coming from her groin. 'Oh, My God! I have an erection!' she thought with a groan as she unconsciously pressed the heel of her hand into her growing erection. With a passing thought of 'I wonder just how big this thing is going to get' Sam groaned even harder as she realized, 'I am touching Jack's – ACH! Don't even go there, Girl. You've got to stop, now!'
Jack, who had also got caught up in his actions and had himself realized that he was feeling up Sam, finally heard her groans behind him and turned around to see her pressing her hand into her groin. 'Well, knowing how my body has always reacted to hers, I'm surprised this didn't happen earlier,' he thought as he watched her begin to rub her hand along the seam of his obviously tented dress blues trousers. Jack was being drawn into an erotic trance at the sight of Sam as she seemed unable to stop herself from rubbing herself through the material of the pants.
It took an announcement by Colonel Marks stating, "All hands, prepare for Hyperspace in 5 minutes," to make him realize that they were both in a very public place and Sam was going to explode if she kept that up. "Sam! Sam, c'mere!" Jack called her as he bodily shoved her into the nearest room, which luckily for them happened to be an unoccupied supply closet.
"Sam, as much as I would like to help you out with your situation, we really are not ready for that," Jack pressed Sam back into a storage locker firmly. "You are going to have to think of something else to make it go away. Think of puppies." Sam's eyes popped open to look at him. "Yes, Carter, I said puppies. Now imagine that you hit one with your car." Seeing her dismay at the thought, Jack told her, "Yes, I know it is horrible to think of such things, but it works. You see, that body is used to reacting this way to this body. It's not a conscious thought. All you ever had to do was pass by my office door on the way to the Control Room and that was the result. Hell, I could go to the gym hours after you had been there and still have that reaction. It's the Fairy-moans."
Sam paused a minute trying to decipher his misnomer, before giving up and asking him. "Sir, I mean Jack, usually I can get what you mean when you mess up the word but my brain just isn't up to it right now. What are the Fairy-moans?"
"You know – the Fairy-moans…the smells or scents that drive people nuts," Jack replied, noting that he was making progress; Sam was starting to think again.
"Oh! Pheromones! You must mean pheromones," Sam said with a smile lighting up her face.
Jack took a step back to be able to gauge Sam's condition. "You see, Sam, what I have been trying to say, in my ever so eloquent way -- eloquent being on my word of the day calendar today -- what I am saying is you're going to have to learn to deal with my/your body's reaction to this one in order to be able to function and to just been seen in public. I usually will try to will it away and when that doesn't work," Jack paused and raised his eyebrows, while Sam stifled her giggles, "When that doesn't work, I have to do, or more correctly, think of something else to distract me. Hence the puppies. Only for me it would have been something drastic like imagining Daniel or Teal'c naked, Hammond for really bad cases. But I think that those images would only make your problem worse. Once the problem starts to grow less troublesome, I would recite hockey scores. And yes, that was why I always seemed to not be paying attention during briefings. You could probably recite equations or something like that."
Sam took a couple of long deep breaths to steady herself as she replayed Jack's explanation in her mind. 'O.K. First, get a mental picture of something very horrible to shock and distract myself so that my very big problem will subside. So let me think of those poor dead puppies,' Sam grimaced as that image appeared in her mind, and then giggled as Teal'c put in an appearance in her mind, 'Oops, that didn't help!' "Sorry, I accidentally thought of Teal'c instead of the puppies." Jack shook his head as he grimaced at that mental image.
"O.k. Dead puppies! Yup, there they are. Backed right over them with my car. Poor things. So sad. Why were they there? Whose puppies are they? I should check the neighbors. Hey, I think is starting to work. That is sad too. O.k. wormhole physics 101.'
"Well, I can tell that you are into your equations now, so how about we continue on to the commissary now?" Jack asked as Sam's stomach rumbled once again.
The commissary was nearly empty at this hour, with only some sandwiches and fruit left out on the serving line. Jack and Sam each grabbed a sandwich and a piece of fruit, then while Sam took their trays to a table along the view windows, Jack grabbed a carafe of coffee and a couple of mugs and met her at the table.
After eating half of their sandwiches in silence, Sam asked, "Since we are going to have to complete our missions together, can you tell me what yours is? All General Landry told me was that the Asguard asked to meet them on a planet that has no gate address."
Jack took a gulp of coffee to keep from choking on his turkey sandwich. "Wow, after all that has happened today, I had almost forgotten what we are here for. Hank called me this morning to tell me that the Asguard were passing a message from the Reole that they want to form an alliance with us. You remember Lt. Tyler, doncha?" Seeing her look of comprehension, Jack continued. "It seems that the Reole only want to talk with me. I must have made some kinda impression on that guy," Jack smirked.
Sam pondered that while peeling her orange. She was about to pop a slice into her mouth when she thought of something, "Sir – I mean, Jack…damn, why is that so hard to get used to? Jack, won't our swapping interfere with that. I mean if they only want you and I am you, won't they get upset or something?"
"Don't be surprised if I still call you Carter. You'll always be Carter to me. My Carter," Jack answered, totally ignoring the rest of her question. They would figure it out. They always did.
