Disclaimer: Final Fantasy doesn't belong to me, and is instead put into good hands with Square.

(Short chapter, but I'm kind of getting the groove back. _ It probably doesn't make sense like woah but in three years I'll come back and fix it, luls.)


"This wouldn't of happened if it wasn't for you."

"Me? I didn't ask you to come into my room at three in the morning."

"You might as well have. You skipped our date. Our second-hand date!"

Squall looked away, flipping a hand nonchalantly in her direction, not bothering to respond. It wasn't that he didn't feel bad. He did, especially considering it was only as she mentioned it did he remember they even had a date. But he knew where this argument was going, and right now, he didn't have the energy – didn't want the energy – to deal with her tantrums. Even if they were deserved.

Rinoa's face scrunched up in anger at his flippant disregard. She crossed her arms and seethed. Squall didn't care. The times she was angry were the times he felt she was at her most comfortable. He came to realize that a while ago, and even played along sometimes, just to make her feel better. Not now. Not when his head was throbbing from the anger he felt toward Cid.

Behind the two, Zell and Selphie looked at each other with slight amusement. Of course, they were worried. Being the ones Rinoa confided in whenever Squall was being difficult (and the problem was, a hundred percent of the time, Squall), they knew how awkward the past months have been between the two love birds. Fighting, with those two, was a common pastime, and it felt good to have some normality. Zell placed some rations in the corner of the cockpit and dusted his hands off. "So....you two excited for your trip?"

Rinoa, now hugging her knees on the floor, waved the question off. Squall, unpacking his duffel bag, responded, "It's not a trip. It's a mission." Zell shrugged, expecting an answer like that. He was more concerned about Rinoa, who had curled up tighter at Squall's unemotional resonse.

"But you two get to be alone in this huge spaceship for a whole day!" Selphie spread her arms, as if to prove her point on the 'whole' part. "You can have a candlelit dinner, or play a card game...talk about your feelings..."

Squall turned his head and closed his eyes. He didn't find it important to tell Selphie they already had been alone, nearly a year ago, in the very same airship, and they did talk about their feelings. They even played a game, which Rinoa fondly nicknamed, 'Anti-Grav Circus'. But it was something neither he nor Rinoa talked about to their friends. Neither one found it important to let them know.

"Yeah, and, who knows? Maybe the Omega Ruins will be like a resort when you get ther- oof....uh. Y'know. No monsters." Zell rubbed the back of his head, where Selphie had miraculously reached to give him a solid slap. Zell grinned apologetically.

"Or, you'll get there, and there will be a lot of monsters, and you two will be like, boom, bang! And then fall in love. Like an old movie."

Zell chipped in. "Or they'll crash land on an island filled with zombies..."

"Or find an alternative universe..."

"Or be kidnapped..."

Squall stood up from searching his duffel bag. The two were continuing to list scenarios, and Squall found it fitting to stop them before they began running around the cockpit like children. "Are you going to stop talking? We have a mission to go to, and I'd prefer to get it underway as soon as possible."

The two stopped talking, of which Squall breathed a sigh of relief. He heard Selphie's footsteps walk across the cockpit to hit a few switches at the Ragnarok's control panel before heading back to the door. Squall didn't bother to turn around as they gave him mock-salutes, both too giddy to let his coldness affect them.

Squall continued to search his duffel bag as the cockpit's doors slipped back to their closed position. 'Finally.'. His fingers touched the headphones, and with a yank or two, he forced them out, only to curse as he saw the tangled mess. Forcing patience, he slipped his fingers into the knots, only to realize how eerily the silence had overcome Rinoa and him. Of course, he pretended not to notice, too busy detangling. He never found it good practice to talk first, anyway, as Rinoa's silence was, usually, used to provoke an emotion from him.

He didn't feel like giving her the satisfaction.

"...they were only trying to help." Rinoa's meek voice barely came through her huddled posture.

"...wasn't really helping." He focused on the headphones.

"It was more than you've done for us."

"...I've been busy with work." An automated response, one to which Rinoa didn't bother to reply with. She stood up and crossed her arms, and he could feel her eyes peering at him. Despite himself, he felt ashamed. A feeling he didn't entirely like, so he turned around, forgetting the headphones, and looked her squarely in the eyes. "What?" His tone was defensive, though he knew it shouldn't be.

Rinoa scoffed. "What? You know 'what'. You haven't been 'busy' with work. You're making SURE you're busy with work."

"...." Squall would've retorted with a half-hearted excuse, seeing as Rinoa was only being angry. But, to his displeasure, the link they shared still remained, even after the months, and he knew she wasn't just angry. Beyond whatever his eyes could tell him, their link told him she was hurting. "....sorry. I've been. Bothered by something." You.

"Would that 'something' be me?"

.no.

"...me?"

"...no. Not you."

"....right."

They stood in silence. Why was he acting like this? Like he didn't care what she felt, or how much his indifference was hurting her. Squall felt words on his tongue, words of apology, words of regret, but, looking at her...it made his mouth feel like it was full of cotton balls. Her eyes made his entire body heavy, and he knew, if he could talk, if he could forget the dreams and go back to what they had, he could dispel the awkward tension, and they could be...moving, again. Moving forward. He wanted to move forward, with Rinoa. But Rinoa was the reason he didn't. He was a mess, and all because of a few dreams.

...fuck.

The intercom buzzed, dispelling the silence. "Commander Squall, you there?" Neither of them acknowledged the intercom. "You have to uh...hit the button on the console to start the autopilot." Squall's legs felt the same as his mouth did, full of cotton balls, so he continued to look at Rinoa, hoping she'd answer the intercom for him. She, however, felt like she was finally chipping away at Squall's cold demeanor, and was unwilling to break eye contact for fear of losing her hold. "....h-hello?"

Squall shook his head, breaking eye contact. "...sorry." He mumbled his apology, as if to the intercom. He meant it, however, to Rinoa, but couldn't bring himself to tell her. He walked to the control panel, breaking the silence with the sound of his footsteps, and found the autopilot control. His finger hovered over it for a second before pressing it lightly, starting the Ragnarok's engines. Squall sat down in the pilot seat, running a hand through his hair.

What are we doing?

----

Rinoa had only watched Squall's movements, feeling his apprehension, his aggravation. Perhaps, if he hadn't been avoiding her for the past months, she could've dug beneath the surface, and felt why. Oh, she knew the 'why' was her. His constant avoidance of her, even in the fifteen-foot space of the cabin, assured her of that. But she wanted to know why it was her. She thought she had been a good girlfriend, especially to a guy as difficult as him. Sure, they had their fights, and there were times she was, maybe, clingy, as she was worried he'd break it off with her...but she knew her boundaries.

...she thought.

She glared at him as he ran his hand through his really nice, really silky hair. He was being stupid. What was it? Was it the clingy moments? Did she not dress up enough? Did she dress up too much? Did he finally figure out every teenage girl in the Garden wanted him? Was it because she was a sorceress? Did she misread a year's worth of signals?

Just TELL me!

Squall's hand dropped from his hair. Had Rinoa said something? No. ...damn it. Left my headphones back there. He sat up again, took a good look at Rinoa (she hadn't stopped looking at him, and he felt he should acknowledge it), and stepped over to pick up headphones. Rinoa placed her hand over his. He froze. "...yeah?"

"...I give up. What did I do wrong?"

Again. What was it, the third time they've had this conversation? "Nothing, Rinoa." He wanted to caress her hand with his thumb, but the memory of an icy chill stopped him.

They didn't notice as the Ragnarok lifted from the Garden.

"...I'll be better. I just needed some time." He took his hand away, too afraid her hand would turn cold, and picked up his headphones. His eyes met hers as he stood up, and at that moment, he realized how small she was.

It wasn't her height, though he was forced to tilt his head down. Rather, he realized that, despite their fights, despite her stubbornness, despite her innate magical prowess, she was...a girl. Totally open. Easily hurt. And what she was trying to do for him, to open herself up to anything from him, and for him to only ignore it, to hurt her....Dispelling his fears, his hand moved to hers, held it, and rubbed his thumb against hers. "...some time."

Fithos....

Squall tensed. Rinoa, expecting it, took his hand with hers, as if making sure he wouldn't run away. Maybe that's exactly what she was doing. "Squall...what's wrong?" Squall could only squeeze his eyes shut, trying to recollect his thoughts. That's not her. What...what was she before? What was I thinking? Small. Demure. A girl. He breathed out. "Tell me...look at me?"

Squall forced his eyes up to her. It wasn't Edea, it wasn't Ultimecia...he knew it, but he couldn't shake the feeling, that at any moment, she could transform, lose her youthful appearance, lose her warm touch. To no longer be his Rinoa, but still desperately attached to her, as her knight...her failed knight. She waited, looking at him, and he wanted to tell her something. Confess. Tell her he was afraid he'd fail. Just...force the words out. "...Rin-"

"Estimated time to destination: Three hours. Fuel Remaining: 5."

Squall turned away as Rinoa glared at the console. She hastily turned back to him, holding onto his hand even tighter. "You were saying?"

Squall didn't hear her. His ears were catching up to his brain, and he knew the ETA wasn't right. The Omega Ruins were half-way across the world. Three hours...he cursed under his breath, slipping his hand out of Rinoa's hold without realizing it before walking over to the console. Three hours. He punched it, causing Rinoa to jump.

"What?"

"This isn't a mission." Those little....he flicked the radio on, adjusting it to find Balamb. The radio hissed for a minute before checking in, and Xu's voice was heard, scratchy and nearly unintelligible. "Ragnarok. This...is Ragnarok....fuck, hold on. There. Xu, get me Cid. Or Zell. Quistis. Anyone!" He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked around. Rinoa was looking at him, eyebrow raised, with her 'why are you being stupid' look.

"....what do you mean, 'this isn't a mission'?" Her tone hinted at anger.

"...I mean, the Omega Ruins aren't three hours away. This isn't a Garden mission. It's just. An excuse. For us to be...together." A vacation. Damn it, Cid said I needed one. Why didn't I suspect this from the start?

"S....Schh...Squall? Hey! It's Irvine. No, Xu, I got it. What's up?"

Spare me the casual talk, Kinneas. "We're not headed to the Omega Ruins."

There wasn't a reply, and Squall knew it wasn't because of technical difficulties. After a minute, Cid came on the speaker. "Well, Squall, I'm afraid you've got me." Squall could imagine him casually shrugging his shoulders.

Sometimes, he hated that man.

"But this'll be good, for both of you." Cid paused, probably to push up his glasses. "I know what it's like to be...away, in your situation." Squall glanced at Rinoa. Situation. Right.

"It doesn't give you the right to interfere."

"I'm the closest thing to a parent you have, I'm afraid, and that gives me some right to interfere. You're only eighteen, and you're in a very responsible situation...."

"Responsible?!" Squall couldn't help but shout. "I can take care of myself, Cid. I've been doing it at your Garden for the past decade." Silence. How could Cid say he wasn't responsible? What else could you be, growing up as a mercenary? Squall's nails dug into his palm as he waited for a reply.

"...I'm well aware you can take care of yourself. I'm just afraid you can't take care of someone else."

The response wasn't what Squall was expecting. His nails dug in. Of course he could take care of someone else. Everyone wanted him to be the leader. That's what Squall told himself, and it's what he wanted to shout into the intercom. But he knew what Cid meant. Being a leader wasn't the same as being...a boyfriend. A knight. It was, in fact, more difficult than leading an army, and scarier than fighting. It...she, was fragile.

Squall didn't bother to reply back, instead turning the intercom off. He never thought of Cid being in his position, twenty years ago. Then again, he couldn't think of anyone being in his position. But Cid had been, and Squall, his emotions ebbing, was starting to realize Cid might know more than Squall was willing to admit.

"....so, what. Are we turning around?"

Squall turned around, hearing – and feeling – the sadness she tried to cover up. It disturbed him to think she wouldn't mind being tricked into a vacation, but Squall was willing to admit...he wasn't the best at thinking of other people's feelings. That's probably what disturbed him. He couldn't put himself in her position, and as she sat, staring out the Ragnarok's windows, arms crossed with thin lips, he felt absolutely sick.

"...we're not. We wouldn't be able to, even if I wanted to." He tried to choose his words carefully, and he knew he chose right when a small, barely noticeable flicker of a smile appeared on her face.

"...so. In saying that, you mean...you don't want to turn back?"

"...yes." He leaned against the console.

She smiled at him, slapping her hands to her knees. "Good! So where exactly are we going, then?"

Despite himself, he smiled. Shrugging, he responded, "I didn't ask. Three hour-" Squall was cut short as he braced himself against a violent surge of the Ragnarok. "Wha-" Another one, this time nearly sending him spiraling down the cockpit. Shakily, he grabbed onto a seat. He braced for another violent surge, only to be met with silence. Squall glanced around him, trying to take in all sides of the Ragnarok. As far as he knew, the Ragnarok and the Gardens were the only things allowed to take to the skies. And there wasn't a gigantic Garden looming over them. "....what the hell was that."

"...like I know." Squall looked at her, relieved to see she was only rubbing the back of her head. "Did we hit a bunch of flying monsters?"

"...I've never heard of something like that happening." He replied, still looking around the cockpit. He returned to the console, and saw nothing indicating malfunction. His arms crossed, partly in frustration, partly of habit. "...it seems like the only explanation, though. Everything's fine, accord-" Another surge, and this time, it was successful in catching Squall off-guard, sending him head-first past Rinoa and into the metal walls of the Ragnarok.

"Squall!"

"....I'm fine!" ...my head hurts like hell. "I think we should try to land-"

The Ragnarok took a nose dive, causing him to bite his tongue and go sliding down the Ragnarok, barely catching onto a seat before he was thrown out the cockpit window. The Ragnarok's emergency signals were in full blast, sirens bellowing and red lights going berserk. The Ragnarok was burning up in the sky, and Squall knew they weren't going to survive. He wasn't.

What was happening? They should still be talking, the Ragnarok still in smooth flight. Now, his hand was losing hold, and soon he would crash through the window, breaking every bone in his body, and if any weren't broken, they'd break as he hit the ground. He'd never get to talk to Rinoa again. Squall closed his eyes, preparing himself for the moment his hand slipped off the seat.

His last thought, he wanted to tell Rinoa, was of her. As he danced with her, hugged her, kissed her.

'...Rinoa...'

"Squall!"