Author's note: Thanks for all the feedback everyone! Please enjoy the next installment! ^_^

Nowaki's Perspective

It didn't take long before Nowaki realized Hiro-san was not bluffing when he had told Nowaki the tutoring sessions would be intense. Over the course of the next few weeks Nowaki found himself spending more and more time at Hiroki's apartment, studying rigorously for his high school GED. In the beginning, Nowaki was very a very sluggish learner, and Hiroki did not hesitate to chastise him for this, but over the course of time, Nowaki began to pick up and retain the material much more easily. Eventually, Nowaki ended up quitting two of his jobs, so he would have more time to study.

Or at least that's what Hiro-san thinks.

As Nowaki spent more and more time with his Hiro-san, he realized that there was so much more to him than just his beautiful face. For Nowaki, there was something about Hiroki's character that just drew him in, and when he wasn't insulting or pelting Nowaki with books out of frustration or just simple annoyance, Nowaki got glimpses of who he really was inside; a wonderful, kind, caring human being. Even if Hiroki often complained about Nowaki being annoying or stupid, Nowaki could see it wasn't at all genuine disdain. He just puts on a bluster, but I can tell he really dosen't mind tutoring me. Nowaki would think to himself happily as Hiroki guided him through complex math problems and basic English grammar. Hiroki would praise him when he did well, occasionally scold him for mess up something he thought very simple, and sometimes Nowaki would even stay for dinner after an extra long study session, (At Hiroki's insistence that it was too late to go home and cook dinner and that too much fast food would give him heart disease.) In certain ways, Hiroki treated Nowaki much like a child, (and a child that always seemed to irritate him at that,) but Nowaki could tell that Hiro-san really was just acting this way. On the surface, he appeared your typical, bad-tempered bachelor, but inside...Nowaki could see so much more.

It was all very subtle, these little behaviors he noticed, like how Hiroki would often peek over his shoulder when Nowaki was working on a difficult problem, and Nowaki could see him scutinizing carefully over his work with obvious interest. He would constantly leave messages of Nowaki's cell whenever he was running late for a tutoring session, commanding him to "hurry your ass over and not keep me waiting!" Also, there were times when they would share a particularly interesting conversation, unrelated to Nowaki's studies. Often they concerned literature, and on these occasions, Nowaki would catch glimpses of how truly passionate, intelligent, and incredible his Hiro-san was. He would go on and on about the greats of Japanese and American literature, and Nowaki would listen to him, fascinated. He loved the way Hiro-san's normally dull, focused eyes absolutely lit up whenever he spoke about his passions for literature. Hiroki would not speak down to him during these conversations, or treat him like a cheeky little kid either. During these times, he revealed how truly mature and level-headed he was at heart, despite his habitual yelling and name-calling tendencies. He would often confess to Nowaki that his least favorite kinds of people were the ones who acted purely on emotion, and that these were the kinds of people he should stear clear from. When Hiroki said these things, Nowaki would just briefly nod. He knew deep down though, he was a great hypocrite in regards to that, because deep in his heart he knew, despite the fact that Hiroki was a really wonderful tutor, that there was a far more important reason that he had quit two of his jobs so he had more time to study with him. But, no matter how many hints Nowaki dropped or how much time passed, Hiroki just didn't seem aware of the real reason. Frankly, it was beginning to concern Nowaki deeply.

It's because I love you Hiro-san. Why is it so hard for you to see that?

Nowaki had indeed fretted about this detail in particular. He wondered if Hiroki was capable of seeing when someone had feelings towards him. It bothered him day and night, but he persisted in his efforts to make Hiroki see. He insisted on extending his tutoring hours. He volunteered to make dinner and clean the house for Hiroki. He studied diligently for sometimes days on end, in a futile hope that Hiroki would finally realize there were far more feeling behind his actions than simply wanted his GED. He wanted Hiro-san to know that he was the driving force behind all that he did, and Nowaki wasn't sure how much longer he could bear the weight of Hiroki not understanding those feelings, and more importantly; how Hiroki felt about him.

It isn't even just the fact that he is the most beautiful, radiant being I've ever come across...everything about him is just so charming and wonderful to me...everything he does and says...even when he scolds me I know there's so much more behind it. But what I want to know is...exactly HOW much?

When is Hiro-san going to see how much I love him? Is it so hard to recognize because I'm a man?" He wondered tiredly to himself. Or does he really still think I'm nothing more than his student?

Nowaki never ceased in tormenting himself with these questions. He found himself leafing blankly threw his textbooks one day, his thoughts filled with nothing but Hiro-san, and he finally ended up getting drowsy. The image of Hiro-san crying, the tears sparkling in the sunlight, wavered dimly inside his head before it finally faded away completely. He rubbed at his eyes. Having pulled an all nighter the night before, he was feeling rather drowsy and lightheaded. He had been waiting home for Hiro-san to get back from school to check his paper, but now, all he felt like doing was sleeping.

"Ugh...I bet Hiro-san will be angry if he catches me dozing when he thinks I'm supposed to be studying...but I really need a little rest..." He muttered to himself, leaning against a pile of books and closing his eyes, his thoughts once again refilling with images of his darling Hiro-san. A light smirk settled on his lips as he dozed lightly, hands clasped on his chest, over the small pocket textbook he;d been studing from.

Oh Hiro-san...you're so cute. You really are...

I just wish you could see how much I admire you, adore you, love you...

Please notice soon...Hiro-san...

Hiroki's Perspective

Ugh...what a shitty day that was... Hiroki groaned inwardly as he shuffled tiredly up to his door and pulled out his key. Upon entering the living room, the first thing Hiroki noticed was the sight of Nowaki slumped over on the floor, snoring course he'd known Nowaki would be home waiting for him. (A new habit that had arised of Nowaki's own insistence on the matter.) Hiroki sighed lightly, feeling a pang of sympathy rush through him suddenly as he removed his hat and scarf.

His life...is probably really hard right now. It's got to be tough juggling six jobs, and yet...he always finds the time to study...

It made Hiroki wonder sometimes what Nowaki's true goals were. Hiroki had told him countless times that he'd learned the material inside and out, and yet Nowaki would always insist that there was some small part he hadn't quite grasped yet. It was beyond confusing. It was downright befuddling. He would offer to make dinner and clean the house, just in return for staying a few extra hours there with him.

Because I'm a good teacher maybe? He'd wonder, but he could'nt see that being the reason. Maybe Nowaki's true aspirations were to be a prodigy. But if that's the case, why is he only asking for review of high school level material?

Hiroki just stood there awhile, looking down on Nowaki's sleeping form, more particularly his hands, which were folded over a book on his chest. As much as he tried to stop himself, Hiroki often found himself thinking about those large, warm hands, and then about Akihiko's hands, which were much smaller, and cool on his skin. Sometimes, these thoughts about his hands would often shift to Nowaki himself. His attitude and mannerisms, everything. And at that moment, a bizzare, almost incomprehensible thought wormed into Hiroki's brain, and voiced itself as he looked down on the sleeping man.

Are they...similar?

But Hiroki soon came to his senses, knowing full well he really wasn't.

No, they aren't at all. Don't be stupid. The only thing that's similar are...his hands...

Just then, Nowaki's eyes suddenly fluttered open. Hiroki started.

"Oh, Welcome home Hiro-san," Nowaki said a little drowsilly.

"S-sure..." Hiroki stammered, Nowaki's sudden awakening having caught him off guard. "Go wash your face while I check this." He said quickly, removing his scarf and sitting down to check Nowaki's English paper. It didn't take him long to see that Nowaki had gotten them all right.

"God! Every single answer is correct! Damn..." Hiroki muttered. Nowaki was still washing up in the bathroom.

"How's your thesis coming along?" Nowaki asked suddenly. Not to Hiroki's surprise; he was becoming very interested in his studies at Teito University lately.

"Little by little," Hiroki answered. "But it looks like I'll have to write another one though."

"Huh? Why?" Nowaki asked curiously.

"I think I'm going to stay in school." He replied easily.

Nowaki advanced towards him, confusion in his bright blue eyes. "Are you being held back a year?" He asked in earnest, much to Hiroki's immediate rage. He tossed the magazine he'd been reading right at his face.

"Moron! I'll have YOU know I'm at the top of the literature department!" He shot at him angrilly. "I'm saying that I want to go to graduate school!"

"Oh, Wow..." Nowaki murmured as he picked up the magazine off the floor. "Thats amazing! Well, it is you after all!" He exclaimed, seeming genuinely impressed, even though Hiroki honestly wasn't trying to boast.

"Er...it's nothing really..." He muttered quietly. "I just wanted to explain..." The last thing he wanted was for Nowaki to think he was conceited. He sat at the table, stammering and completely flustered. "I really wasn't trying to brag or anything just now, I mean it! I was just...um..."

"Why not brag?" Nowaki replied honestly. Hiroki gazed up at him then.

"Hiro-san...you are really an amazing person."

Hiroki had no idea how to a comment like this, so he just glanced down at the table and said nothing. Nowaki was always blunt with how he felt; always completely honest.

Being around Nowaki always makes everything weird.

He sighed quietly, but then noticed something on the table that made him start.

"Oh...that book..." He said in a small voice.

"Oh, excuse me. I kind of helped myself to it earlier." Nowaki said, taking the book off the table and looking at the back.

"Oh, no it's fine. I don't mind."

"You really like this author huh?" Nowaki pointed out.

"Why do you ask?" Hiroki stammered, trying to focus on his hands and not lose his composure.

"You have three copies of each of his books." Nowaki said. "I hear he's a student at Teito; you ever meet him? Huh, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki had turned his face away, the shame and torment were building inside him all over again.

"Yeah I have." He replied quietly, sturggling to maintain a steady voice. "He's a childhood friend of mine."

The one I love...

No...the one I...

...Loved.

Nowaki took the hint; he wasn't stupid. "Oh, I see..." He said quietly in return. "I see, a childhood friend."

Hiroki could'nt bear sounding so weak and vulnerable in front of Nowaki, but it was just so hard to mask the pain when Akihiko came up in idle conversation; he had no time to prepare himself mentally. The images came flooding back once more; Akihiko lifting one of those cool, beautiful to his cheeks, Hiroki leaning into his touch...Akihiko saying his name.

Ta...Takahiro...

Confrmation of all his fears. Of every slight anxiety that Akihiko didn't and could'nt return his feelings being proved before his eyes.

When I found out that Akihiko could never be the one he loved; I took advantage of it, But in the end, I could see how bitterly he regretted it. He felt as though using a man he didn't love as a substitute...he had somehow sullied Takahiro...Even so he could'nt suppress his desire for him, and it only hurt him all the more...He could'nt touch him, outof love. Don't confess, for fearing of destroying everything...A love with no hope of requital.

Yes, I understand you're feelings painfully well... Hiroki thought bitterly, fighting back the tears.

...and it's your kindness that tears me apart...

Nowaki's Perspective

I think I finally get it now. It' s starting to become clear.

Nowaki was in Hiroki's shower, letting the hot water beat on his back and his limbs, relaxing his muscles and his tendons.

He was thinking of Hiro-san.

A childhood friend...

Hiro-san, you cared for him...didn't you?

Nowaki wasn't an idiot. Even though he'd looked away, Nowaki had seen the way Hiroki's eyes cast over with sorrow at the very mention of the author who'd written those books. It made Nowaki's heart ache to see the one whom he cherished looked so hurt. In fact, it reminded him starkly of the time he'd come across Hiroki in the park; the anguished look on his face...like he'd just gotten his heart broken.

No. Not just broken.

Shattered.

Hiroki had gotten up quickly after a long silence had passed between them, casually, (and hurriedly) offered to make dinner, and stalked off quickly into the kitchen, acting as though he hadn't just been upset or hurting at all, even though he clearly had been.

Nowaki was no idiot.

The steam shroudded him in a thick fog of warmth, and clouded the walls and mirror. Nowaki mindlessly rubbed his head with the towel, thinking of what Hiro-san was doing now that it was almost evening. He'd said he was going to read for a bit while Nowaki was showering, and then maybe tutor him a bit more after he was out, and then Nowaki would go home.

But Nowaki didn't want to go home.

He wanted to stay...and make Hiro-san feel better.

Nowaki stepped out of the bathroom after the steam had evaporated and he was fairly dry. The towel was still slung around his neck. "Hiro-san, thanks again for letting me use your shower-" He'd began politely, but then his eyes darted to the floor and he saw a sight that nearly melted his heart.

Hiro-san was lightly dozing on the floor, a book open on his chest and an adorable duckling sleeping mask drawn over his eyes. Nowaki wanted to scoop him up right then and there and carry him away, but he restrained himself, calling to him in a gentle voice.

"Hiro-san, you'll catch a cold like this. If you're going to sleep, you should go to bed..." He murmured, reaching out and removing the mask from over his eyes. Hiroki muttered a bit, and shifted slightly, his brows furrowing the slightest degree in what Nowaki saw as distress or fear.

Then, he murmured the name;

"Aki...hiko..."

It's true then. He really was in love with him.

But if that's the case, can I still find a place in his heart?

Nowaki's gaze rested on Hiro-san's beautiful, flawless face. His closed eyes; the thin locks of chestnut hair which rested messily over his bangs. His easy, quiet breathing.

Nowaki just could'nt stand it anymore.

I have to kiss him.

Nowaki didn't give the manner a second thought, but instead, for once, gave in completely to his instincts. He reached out, tussling Hiroki's hair a bit, and then sliding his hand over to Hiro-san's cheek. He leaned down slowly, until Hiro-san's breath tickled his nose, and met those soft pink lips with a kiss more saturated with love than Nowaki thought himself capable of. Those lips tasted sweet...like...tea and honey, with just a hint of curry powder. (Probably because of the dinner they had just finished together ) and Nowaki fell into a state of bliss.

I'm kissing my Hiro-san...my Hiro-san..."

Little did he realize in his euphoria that Hiroki's eyes were fluttering open, and before he knew it he was being shoved away as Hiroki gasped for air and fingered his lips, eyes wide with shock.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded furiously. Nowaki sighed inwardly, deciding to just come out and say it.

"Akihiko" is that childhood friend you were talking about, isn't it?" He said, already knowing the answer.

"Eh?"

"His name. You said it in you're sleep." Nowaki pointed out.

"N-none of your buisness!" Hiroki barked, looking away.

Nowaki sighed then. He knew he could'nt conceal these feelings for one second longer, and it was completely obvious now that Hiroki was never going to notice on his own.

So he just had to come out with it.

"It seems you're never going to notice until I just come out and say it." He declared, a touch of resignation in his voice.

Hiroki looked up at him with wide eyes. No going back now. I'm going to tell him how I feel.

I have to.

"Hiro-san...I-"

But just as he was about to say the words, a noise interrupted him mid-sentence.

The doorbell.

"Uh, Coming!" Hiroki called, looking flustered. Nowaki watched him get up and go to the door.

Hiro-san...

Nowaki saw him open the door, and standing in the entryway was a tall, thin man with gray hair. Nowaki could'nt believe his eyes.

It's the author! The childhood friend!

Usami Akihiko!

Hiroki seemed just as astonished as Nowaki was, but of course he didn't notice. His eyes were fixed on the man before him, as though under his spell.

"Akihiko?" Hiroki stammered.

"You're still alive huh?" The man asked in a deep, attractive voice.

"What the hell?" Hiroki shot back, annoyedly.

Hiro-san...do you still care for him? Nowaki asked himself.

"I haven't heard a word from you, and I could never get a hold of you at school. I assumed you were dying in some alleyway." The man said.

Nowaki clenched his fists. Of course the man hadn't noticed him standing inside, close enough to hear every word they were saying.

"Huh, well excuse me for living!" Hiroki retorted, crossing his arms. "In case you didn't know, I've got two theses to write; I don't have time to good around with the great lord novelist."

He sounded confident enough, but Nowaki could'nt help but notice the way his fingers clenched on one of his sleeves.

Hiro-san...

The man seemed unphased, and rather than taking offense, he raised a hand and rested it on Hiroki's hair, tangling up his fingers in those uncombed brown locks. Nowaki could'nt help but stare, his irritation rising steadily. He felt like punching the guy for laying a hand on his Hiro-san. His.

But of course he didn't.

"Don't make a joke of it." The man said softly. "I was really worried about you. You eating properly? You're face is so pale!"

Nowaki wanted to march right over there and snatch Hiro-san away and shut the door in his face. It was no use trying to reason with himself. This man was marching into his territory. And he did not like it one bit.

But Nowaki wasn't bitter enough to not notice the tears that had sprung to Hiroki's eyes now, as the man rested his large hand in his hair. Nowaki stifled a gasp, as finally, with a start, it all became clear. The reason Hiro-san had been crying in the park that day...the reason he had been suffering so much when they'd first encountered one another.

It was all because of HIM!

Suddenly, Nowaki wasn't about to wait another moment standing idly by while this bastard made him cry; did he even notice Hiro-san's tears? Did he even care?

Nowaki found his legs moving of his own accord, his face flushed with raise. He no longer had any control of his actions. Not that he particularly cared; in fact, this kind of behavior was longer overdue, as he saw it at that moment.

He had to lay down the law. Hiro-san was his.

Hiroki had no time to react as Nowaki approached and grabbed hold of his head from behind, his fingers tangling in those silky brown locks once more. Hiroki stared, horrifyed, from inbetween Nowaki's fingers.

Nowaki didn't even bother introducing himself. He just came right out with it, gazing right into the eyes of Usami Akihiko.

"I'll be taking Hiro-san." He declared, and there was no to be no arguing with that. He pulled Hiroki over the threshold and shut the door right in the bewildered man's face.

As Nowaki had predicted, Hiroki was not the least bit pleased.

"L-let go of me you asshole!" He'd shouted as Nowaki pulled him into the living room. He picked up the closest book he saw and tossed it with all his might at the wall in frustration and embarassment.

"You stupid bastard!" He raged, as Nowaki stood close behind him. "What the hell was that about just now? It was practically begging a misunderstanding!"

Nowaki merely shrugged behind him. Hiro-san wanted an explanation. Fine. He would give it to him. Simple as that.

"I love you." He said.

He saw his beloved Hiro-san freeze, as though incapable of motion. He heard him give a sharp, small gasp. But he didn't stop.

"The real reason I asked you to tutor me was...because I fell in love with you the moment I saw you."

"W-what are you..." Hiroki whispered.

Nowaki didn't hesitate. He could'nt now. "I even quit two of my jobs, and you thought all this time it was just because I needed more time to study, but actually, I did it because I just want to get every extra minute together with you that I can get.

"When we first met, you were crying, and I finally realized...it was because of Usami-san, wasn't it?"

"It...it had nothing to do with him..." Hiroki murmured, still unmoving.

Nowaki knew he was lying, but he didn't stop to harp on the matter. "I won't ask what happened, but you need to know that I would never make you cry like that."

He was getting antsy that Hiroki still hadn't responded to his confession, but he continued anyway. "When we first met, I fell in love with the sight of your tears but now...all I want is to see you smile!" He exclaimed. He was getting so nervous. He would rather Hiro-san explode and pelt him with books than remain silent a moment longer. But Hiroki still would'nt speak.

Then Nowaki said something he'd later regret.

"Can I replace Usami-san?"

That made Hiroki react. He spun around and hurled a book at Nowaki, his face flushed with anger.

"G-get out!" He stammered. "Get out and don't you ever come back again!" He cried, and slammed the door on a bewildered Nowaki.

Hiro-san...

He loathed himself; despised himself. Why had he had to go and say that to him? Did Hiro-san really hate him now? Would Nowaki ever see him again? He stood outside that door, waiting in vain for Hiro-san to open it and embrace him and tell him he was sorry and that he loved him too and they would be together forever...

...But that was just a silly fantasy. Not real. Probably never will be now. Nowaki sighed and started to leave. He walked down the steps of the complex and left Hiroki's apartment behind, thinking the man was completely done with him.

Little did he know that Hiroki had heard those footsteps, and had reopened the door for him, only to discover he was already gone.

* * * * *
End of chapter 3! Plz Review! ^_^