When the sun rose the next morning, Natasha was already awake. She hadn't fallen back to sleep during the night. She had been awake trying to ignore her demons swirling against her. She also dedicated a lot of time contemplating how she ruined a potential good thing with Jamie. She felt guilty for starting a relationship when the world was in disarray but no matter what the others said about finding a new way to bring everyone back, there wasn't. Moving on was their best hope but she wasn't too good at that. As evidenced by last night.

Eventually she decided to get up and to prepare for her daily call with all the leaders and alive Avengers.

She walked out of her room and down the hall towards the kitchen. She could hear something cooking. Was Steve home?

She slowly reached for her gun and as she rounded the corner she was surprised to find Jamie there. He smiled a little and she relaxed only slightly.

He held up the pan which smelled like it had the best omelette in it, "Breakfast?"

"Didn't I tell you to get out?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay so I stayed."

Part of her wanted to yell at him to get out again but the other part really wanted a piece of the omelette.

She came over and sat at the island he gave her a plate before he began to cook his own.

"So in Frozen, I think Sven is the best character. He doesn't sing at all and he's loyal. Elsa has controlling issues, and Anna and Kristoff have abandonment issues. Olaf is annoying the trolls make absolutely no sense."

She looked up from eating, "You're not going to ask me about last night?"

He shakes his head, "I figured you didn't want to talk about it since you tried to kick me out. If you do want to talk, I'll listen. Otherwise, we can keep discussing Frozen."

She smiles softly at that.

While he cooked, they continued to argue over different things in Frozen. As he sat down to eat his own omelette she decided to switch the topic.

"I suppose I should thank you for waking me up."

"It was no problem. I have nightmares all the time and appreciate when someone wakes me up. I figured you would too."

She nods, "What…" she stops realizing he might not want to talk about it.

"What are they about?" he finishes for her with a small smile.

"You don't have to answer. I know from experience that some things are hard to talk about."

"I don't mind. I trust you."

She raises an eyebrow, "Really?"

He nods, "There's something special about you. I haven't connected with someone like this before," they both blush as he speaks, "So therefore I trust you. I'm okay if you're not there yet with me. We've got time."

She nods and he continues.

"I've had the same nightmares for years. Product of my childhood I guess. I grew up in a lab where they were trying to recreate the super soldier formula. Was experimented on and tortured. Fun childhood. I probably would've ended up in a worse place if Fury hadn't found me."

He pauses and she watches him. His voice was slightly wobbly and she realized this was hard for him to talk about.

"I grew up similarly," she says quietly.

He drinks the rest of his wine as he turns to her, "You never really get over it, do you?"

She shakes her head and asks quietly, "How do you deal with it?"

"Honestly, before my wife died, I didn't. That and the snap. I was stuck alone to raise a kid in a world that was mourning. I figured I might as well be brave for him."

"It must be nice to have someone."

He looks directly at her, "You are not alone. You know that right?"

She nods but she breaks eye contact as she does. He gently moves her face so she's looking towards him again, "Natasha you are not alone. I promise you."


Over the next few weeks Jamie kept his promise to Natasha. He showed up weekly for their dinner date. He always came with a smile on his face and a new dish idea. He was the thing Natasha looked forward to all week. He made her happy. Okoye even began to notice.

As they were wrapping up their daily call Okoye noticed Natasha seemed to be distracted. It was unlikely for the famous spy to be distracted from their work.

"Nat, what's wrong?" she asked breaking Natasha from her thoughts.

Nat sat up straighter, "Nothing. Where were we?"

"Well I was discussing new foreign policy but you were somewhere else. Where were you?"

She blushes slightly as she answers, "Nowhere but here."

Okoye raises an eyebrow and chuckles, "It's a man isn't it? You've met someone."

"What?! No!"

"Nat…"

She sighs, "We haven't done anything besides the occasional kiss."

"Do you want to?"

"It's only been about two months!"

"But he obviously makes you happy. What's stopping you from going all in?"

She looks at Okoye, "Do we deserve to be happy? To move on? Millions of people died and they'll never get that chance. I just feel guilty for being able to do something that they're not."

"You shouldn't. They died but we did not. The best way we can honor their memories is by living our lives. You shouldn't feel guilty about being happy. Is that all that's stopping you?"

"What makes you think there's more?"

Okoye chuckles, "I happen to have gotten to know you very well Natasha Romanoff and there is always something you're not saying."
"He has a kid and…"

"...you're scared you'll get attached like you did with the Barton kids. Nat, you can't keep him at arms length if you care for him."

Natasha rolled her eyes, "You sound like him. He wants me to meet his son. He's three."

"A cute age. You should. You deserve some happiness Natasha."

They both heard the doorbell and a sly grin appeared on Okoye's face as Natasha got up to go answer she pointed at Okoye, "Thanks for the advice and don't tell anyone about this."

"Your welcome and of course. The people we work with are nosy."

She smiled at Okoye's last comment as she walked towards the kitchen which is where she normally met Jamie. The only reason he rang the doorbell was to let her know he was there. Friday automatically let him in after a few weeks of him stopping by during the week and weekends.

"Hey," he greeted her with a kiss as he set the groceries on the counter top.

"Hey, so I've been thinking," she started.

"Thinking, huh? About what?"
"I'll tell you if you stop interrupting."

"Sorry," he said, turning to face her and giving her his full attention.

She cleared her throat as she continued, "I was thinking about your offer to have one of our dinner dates at your house."

His eyebrows raise in surprise, "Really? Are you sure you want to meet Cam?"

She nods, "I'm ready. I figured if I'm going to date you I might as well meet your son."

The grin spreads across his face warms her insides, "So does this mean we're going steady?"

She laughs as he begins to cook.