Thanks to: Lightningbolt21 (You think? I think it's quite nice they didn't kill him off...though I would have prefered Gwaine to life of course D:), polzie44 (Here you go :) And yeah, I try to update fast, I'm actually really obsessed to get this out of my head), razorstar90 (yeah, I agree :)), Aeriscetra12, flyaway213, Merlin-Herondale (Aww, thank you :3 Here you go then :D), Moon Fox (thank you :) And yeah, my pain isn't gone yet so more writing will come x_x), Guest , Caerfryddin (Only nearly? I'm disappointed XD No, kidding. See what this chapter brings *muhaha*), MoonlitIvy (yeah well, the series wasn't entirely accurate to the legends anyway so...I'm not really considering that as a reason xD Going to take the names of his real sons though. They're cool ^^ And thanks! :3), ABVM (Thank you very much :) And go read to find out :D), Black Gloves (Never complaining about long reviews, love them in fact! :D And yes, thanks for the funeral tip, I'll do that :) And you'll find out, I have planned to reveal what he was up to ;P) AND megan (Done :))

ALSO: A guess accused me of cheating Merthur into the fanfic in the first chapter. I changed the sentense about the Arthur-Merlin bond in Gwen's thoughts and made a long explanation at the end of chapter one. If you were commenting about this, please go read it, I think it's rather relevant xD

Disclaimer: Merlin doesn't belong to me but to the bbc.

A/N: Going with the idea of Gwen carrying Arthur's child :) It's more plausible anyway and I have another reason that you will see at the end of the chapter! :D

Thanks for the reviews, they're really helping me ^^. Many skips this chapter but I didn't want to bore you...it's freaking 7000 words, I feel so crazy x_x. Hope I wrote the characters believable and all :D.

Have a good start in the new year tomorrow! :3

BTW: My PJ Fanfic will continue, yes. I just need time to get over Merlin, I...can't really concentrate on other stuff somehow. It's strange x_x. But I WILL finish the other one, after all I promised!

Now enjoy! :)


03. Fix you

„It's settled, then. The ban on Magic will be lifted. Merlin and I will make arrangement to the specific rules and what parts of magic shall be forbidden still. After that, we shall arrange the announcement for next week! All in favor?" to Merlin's surprise, the men around the table all raised their hands. Leon and Percival smiled at him and Merlin seriously couldn't believe that this actually happened. Guinevere had summoned the council for this evening and they had gathered around the round table, discussing it. Of course there had been objections when Gwen first spoke out but she assured them that there was a proper reason and gestured to Merlin. The manservant was seated in the empty seat next to Athur's that had once belonged to Elyan and now stood up.

"My Lords, Sir Knights. I have a reason to sit and not stand behind the queen. May I demonstrate you something?" and then he mumbled a few words, opening his hands and a whole swarm of blue glowing butterflies suddenly emitted from between his palms, flying around the room happily. Merlin smiled his cheerful grin and watched patiently as hell broke loose in the council room. He was still pale and exhausted from the powerful spell this morning but a little sleep and a few disgusting potions from Gaius had helped him get to his feet rather fast. Several of the knights who didn't know Merlin now began attacking, the elderly councilmen had begun to stand up and try and flee from the room but Percival and Leon were up and ready to keep everything at bay and Gwen quickly threw her hand on the table to silence them. There was a short bombardment of questions but they were all soon calming down and letting Merlin explain everything. He had clarified that he was the sorcerer named Emrys by the Druids, that he had protected Arthur ever since he came to Camelot and that he would still protect the kingdom if he was allowed to stay. He swore to never have been in any alliance with Morgana, even admitted that he was the one to kill her and so got the men to calm down. Now that all hands were raised for the ban to be released, Gwen obviously breathed a lot lighter. She had the full support of all the people and her councilmen but Merlin knew that she was still uncertain of ruling properly without Arthur by her side. She then smiled at them.

"Very well. I may also lay my whole faith in Merlin here to guide us through these unstable times with his magic. I trust there was once a position for court sorcerer at this court?" she asked one of the oldest councilman, who was apparently also the most tolerant, since he hadn't jumped up and tried to flee upon seeing the swarm of butterflies fly out of Merlin's hand. Maybe he was also just able to see what magic was evil and which was not.

"Well, yes. Not far before Uther's time, there was indeed a court sorcerer present, my Lady.", he confirmed and Gwen beamed, turning her head to Merlin. The latter suddenly realized what his queen was thinking and shook his hands in front of his upper body.

"No! No, Gwen you really don't need to! I don't need a title to protect you and Camelot! I'll just stay and help Gaius out, be a stable boy or something." he said, totally forgetting to use his formalities. The councilmen shot him doubtful looks and he quickly mustered himself.

"I mean, my Lady. That's really not necessary, my Lady.", he corrected himself, to which they finally turned away. But Gwen insisted, patting his hand on the table a little.

"No, you earned it, really. All the things you must have done while we all had no clue. Just accept the gratitude this once, Merlin. For me?" she didn't really mind him calling her Gwen if she was honest. He always had, after all. She didn't see why that needed to change. And she also really wanted him to be court sorcerer. It was a promotion, in a way. He'd be sitting with her at the round table, just as Gaius did now (hewasn't present because he was still treating Gwaine and the other wounded from the battle –which were many), Merlin would have an excuse to use magic all the time, which she assumed would make him happier and also pose a distraction and he would have a word to say in general, a proper title to which he could go rather than Merlin the servant of the king. Which he wasn't anymore, as sad as it was. He may still be Arthur's servant and true friend but as long as Arthur was dead to the world, he was just an unemployed servant who wandered around the castle because Gwen wanted him to or because Gaius needed him as his younger legs. The queen didn't want him to ponder away and have nothing to do, didn't want him to be left with his thoughts. Because she had witnessed firsthand what those thoughts looked like. Dark, grooming, blaming himself…he couldn't make that a habit, otherwise he would become bitter and nobody wanted that Merlin of all people would become bitter. Gwen knew him as the cheerful serving boy who was always able to make her smile, no matter what. And she didn't want him to lose that ability, she knew that it wasn't only for her that way. Many of the employers, servants and knights liked Merlin as their friend, adviser, even role model (even if he was a terrible servant according to Arthur).

So the queen had thought of this solution over the day. She hadn't told Merlin of it, assuming he would react exactly as he did now. The man was just too humble sometimes. He was powerful, she had seen that. No doubt was he more than fit for the position of court sorcerer. She smiled at him reassuringly and finally, he gave in.

"Alright. When we sorted the categories of magic out, I will take the position.", he said, smiling at Gwen weakly. It was enough for the brunette and she let go of his hand, ending the council meeting with that.


A whole week had passed and for Merlin, that had mainly meant that he was freeing the rest of the books from the dungeons and sorting out all kinds of magic that he would consider evil sorcery which should not be openly practiced and considered so bad that they should be treated with severe penalty. He of course discussed the penalties with Gwen, wanting to get rid of the immediate death threat and suggesting things like ridding them of their power for a certain time, making them stay under his wing for a while, in the prison in magic chains or something along that line, assuming that they were willing to redeem themselves for their actions. If that repeatedly wasn't the case, Merlin agreed that death by beheading would probably be inevitable. After all, they had to do everything to make something like Morgana impossible to happen again. Finally, on the last day before the official announcement, Merlin set down his feather and smiled widely. The list was finished. A precise list of all the particularly dark magic he was able to find in his books or if they weren't in them, what dark magic he had encountered. It was a pretty long set of parchment and until tomorrow, he needed to make at least ten copies of it to be taken out to the outline villages. For that though, Gwen had sent him two assistants to copy the thing, which was really strange for him, since he was usually the one doing all the work and not the one giving orders. With a gulp, he gave his work to the two young men, who were apparently professional book copy writers –he didn't even know there was an actual profession for that to be honest- and they noded to him before rushing off to finish their work. Merlin sank back in his seat and looked over to where Gwaine was sleeping. The colour had begun to come back to his face and he wasn't shouting and sweating with fever any more but he still hadn't woken up after this whole week. Merlin began to wonder if he had actually failed to heal him. But he had been getting better! So why wasn't he awakening?

"You have to get to bed, Merlin. The announcement tomorrow will be a big day for you after all." Gaius reminded him, patting his shoulder fondly and smiling at him. After all, he'd be court sorcerer tomorrow, making it official that he had magic and at the same day, lifting the ban on magic together with Gwen by his side. He had to force himself for a smile and stood up to get to his room, which he had ridden off most of his stuff because Gwen had assigned him new chambers right underneath the ones of Gaius' and since they were still in one of the towers, he still had a great view on the city from his chambers. He would be having all the books on magic from the dungeons down there, desks and shelves full of magic ingredients for tinctures, magical gems he had collected over the years and he had even gotten himself a pillar in a presentable place in the room to put the crystal of Neahtid he had asked Gwen to get him from the vaults. After all, last time he had been in the crystal cave, it hadn't flooded him with images like it used to at his last visit. He and Gaius had concluded that by now, he was able to control the crystal fully, which meant that it was save to stay in his quarters without giving him frequent headaches.

Back in his room, Merlin quickly let go of his smile and plunged himself into bed right after changing into his night clothes. His face became haunted once again and even though tomorrow would be what he had always wished for: The lift on the ban on magic, for him to live freely and even as court sorcerer… it wasn't making him happy. Because all the days he had wished for this day to arrive, dreamed of it, it had been Arthur announcing the news to the crowd, Arthur telling his people that he trusted him with this position, that he wanted him by his side still, even though he indeed was a sorcerer. He often hadn't dared to even dream this but when he had, he had wanted it that way, with his best friend. And now…now Arthur was dead to the world and it pained him so much that he couldn't fight away the quiet sobs and couldn't keep the tears from streaming down his pained face. He grabbed his shirt where his heart was and held it there because it hurt. It hurt so much, all of this. Sure, one day he may see his friend again and he would wait for that way, however long it may take. But for now, all he had wished for was gone, impossible. Arthur wouldn't see Gwaine heal, he wouldn't be there at the announcement, he wouldn't see his new chambers. He couldn't tell him that he was maybe even proud to have him being more than a servant, though he would probably never admit that. Arthur wouldn't be there to stare at him and declare that he still wanted his breakfast from him because he didn't want unfunny George to wake him up, especially because the guy woke him up way too early. None of that would come to pass and essentially, it was still his fault. He had heard that prophecy, he had seen that vision. He didn't warn Arthur of Mordred, didn't fully trust Morgana. He had poisoned her, making her depend even more on Maugause. It was him who hadn't tried all to make Mordred stay, hadn't told him what would come of love like that, hadn't told him that he'd been through the same. It was also him who had let Aithusa out of his care and when he had seen her again, stay with Morgana. The priestess would have never been able to forge Mordred's sword in Aithusa's breath if Aithusa had stayed with Kilgarrah or at least returned to him. Even if Mordred did stab Arthur then, he would have been able to just heal it with the right amount of magic. They would have returned together, they would have defeated Morgana once and for all and they would have lifted the ban on magic on their own account. Now of course it would come true but it was all just…wrong. He wanted to run away, wanted to hide and wait and let time simply fly by. But he feared what he would do if he was completely left alone. The people here needed him, Gwen was right about that. And he should use his life for good instead of sitting in the dark and waiting. Shouldn't he? He had made so, so many mistakes which all led to this result and he feared by staying, he may even make things worse. Yes, he was always the one to save Arthur but in the end, he wasn't even able to achieve that!

His sobs rocked him closer to sleep and he didn't even register if Gaius was able to hear him. Which he was. The physician pondered with the thought of going up and trying to calm Merlin but he finally decided against it. Wounds of the heart as deep as these were something even he couldn't heal. With a sad gaze the old man continued his work while his heart stung with every broken sob he could hear from the boy's chambers. Finally, when he thought he was about to jump up and really try to comfort the warlock, the noises stopped and Merlin settled down properly. In his chamber, Merlin did indeed quiet down the sobs. He was half asleep, when the image of Arthur suddenly returned to his mind with his head lulling about and his face dead serious.

"I don't want you to change. I want you…to always…be you."

His blue eyes flew open, still red from all the tears and he almost breathed out an ironic laugh. Had Arthur said that with this outcome in mind? Had he already known that they wouldn't make it to the lake? One thing was sure though: He had totally meant it. And if that was true, then…then maybe he should really stay here, stay true to the part of him that was helping out others, putting them above himself entirely. Try to be happy again, waiting for Arthur with patience and the knowledge, that one day he would live again and be back at his side. Yes, that was what he was supposed to do, what fate had thought out for him. Even if destiny was cruel and sometimes unfair, he had to endure it, there was no way around it. It wouldn't be that dull if he actually got a profession and all these books to read after all…

And with those more or less happy thoughts, he finally drifted off into the most peaceful sleep he'd had all week.

...

"...and because of that, I hereby announce: By the power invested in me, I, Queen Guinevere Pendragon of Camelot declare the ban on magic and hereby the penalty by death as lifted!", Gwen declared the next morning. She had explained how Morgana was killed by a good natured sorcerer and that sorcery was indeed not just evil and that depended on who wielded it. The crowd hadn't protested, maybe they were even all aware of that. Not all had agreed with the ruthless killing Uther had done after all. Most of them were trusting Arthur and now her to make the right decisions. A smile formed on her full lips at the astonishment and then cheering of the crowd, she saw relieved faces in some places, wary ones in the other but she knew, in a few days, maybe weeks they would have accepted it. She had her maidens ask around town for the opinion of the people on her decision and it had been mainly positive. Since everyone knew that Morgana was defeated now, magic didn't pose that big of a thread any more, they were more open to the thought of positive aspects of sorcery. The queen sure hoped they would keep that opinion.

She then finally turned to Merlin. He was dressed differently today. This morning, Gwen had sent a servant to his room to wake him and lay finer clothes out for him, which must have shocked the warlock to death, since the Queen was told the boy was later seen running down the corridor with a good deal of his shirt burned at the front. She had to chuckle a bit at the thought of Merlin waking up and automatically defending himself with magic like that.

"Gwen, I'm so sorry about the servant. I should apologize to him later. A little warning next time, I almost killed him! He was lucky I have developed such a fast reaction over my years here." With Arthur, was what he let hang in the air. But he didn't need to mention that to Gwen, she knew what he had meant. Thinking of all that training and hunting Arthur had forced him to attend, his reaction probably wasn't as bad as his sword fighting still was. So she just smiled and waved it away at the beginning of the ceremony.

"Don't worry. I already spoke to him and he said you did seem really sorry and it was just his shirt, nothing reached his skin.", she soothed his conscious and Merlin did seem far more relaxed after that. His new clothes suited him. She had gotten him basically the same clothes he always wore, just far better quality and finer cut on all edges. He looked almost like a too thin and little too casual prince now, Gwen found it suited him. He still had his neckerchief on, this time made from the material most of her dresses were made of and his black hair was freshly washed and still a little bit wet, standing around in every direction. He had fine leather boots with straps running around them, they looked really comfortable for long walks, probably far better than his old ones. She looked down at the crowd and how they curiously looked up at Merlin now. The warlock seemed really nervous, fingering his neckerchief or the staff in his hands that held a blue diamond-shaped crystal at the top of it. The news that the fallen king's former manservant, who had served him for years was a powerful sorcerer had spread around town like a wildfire in dry grass even though Gwen was sure she had told the Councilmen not to shout it around. Well, no matter. At least nobody tried to attack Merlin. They all looked a mixture of curious and anticipating. She guessed that was a good thing. In case they did try to attack…well, she wasn't sure if Merlin couldn't take on a whole crowd, if not an army, anyway. But that wasn't the matter here.

"In addition to that," she announced further, speaking up since her normally small voice must sound over the whole crowd down below. The people immediately went quiet, which made her pride swell a little inside. It was really convenient that this whole lot of people looked up to her like that, even if she was still not really used to that and of course not taking advantage of it.

"I declare a new position to the court, the court sorcerer. This position will now be held by Merlin, whom you all know well as my dear husband's former manservant. Feel free to come to him with any questions and problems regarding magic and the laws of it. He also handed me a list of magic that is still declared as forbidden, as it is mainly pure evil and should not be practiced under any circumstances. Now that Morgana is defeated, we don't want another thread like her to fall over the kingdom. The list includes such as Necromancy and poppet magic, the summoning of evil magical creatures and many more. It will be sent to every village and hung out in the courtyard for all to look at. But for now, we welcome our new court sorcerer, Merlin!" she gestured for her friend to step forward, putting a reassuring smile on so he didn't faint, like he looked close to doing. The warlock nodded, stepped forward and put his staff aside. He mumbled a few words under his breath and little golden spheres seemed to emit from behind him, hovering over the people until one after another popped open and rained down colored ornaments of what looked like sparks but didn't hurt at all to them. The crowd cheered and Merlin smiled from ear to ear for the first time since before the battle of Camlann. It was nice to see him happier again and Gwen didn't regret her decision in the slightest.

Of course there was a feast that evening, starring all the remaining knights, the queen, the court physician,the newly appointed court sorcerer and many more. The mood was surprisingly good, considering how the loss of their king still hovered over their heads. Gwen guessed the alcohol wasn't really innocent with that. But Merlin had decided to entertain them with his magic and it was going rather well, seeing as he knew an astounding range of spells that made pretty things appear out of thin air or how to juggle for one part. At one point, Gwen threw in the joke that she should have rather appointed him as court jester, which made the warlock pout playfully before he blew a sarcastic kiss to her, which actually turned into a swarm of small birds of golden light that made her screech in shock to which Merlin gave a wholehearted laugh.

The evening flew by until finally, Gwen found herself back in her giant bed. She stared up at the beautiful ceiling and remembered her first time lying in there, her wedding night with Arthur. It had been unforgettable, that night. She would always remember his warm lips against her neck, his teasing words at how she turned so red on her cheeks and the way his lips brushed hers playfully when she had pouted because of his teases. She dared not think any further, as the queen already felt hot tears streaming down her cheeks, flowing over her ears and dropping onto the pillow below her dark hair. She drew in a shaky breath and tried to wipe them away only for them to be replaced by new ones. The queen missed her husband so badly and she imagined how he would have enjoyed this evening with them, having fun like old times, probably teasing Merlin all the way for being so girly and not able to properly speak to the crowd but pull magic tricks on them instead. His laughing face flashed in her mind but she tried to wave it away to make her heart stop aching even though that didn't quite work out as planned. She rolled to the side and pulled the covers over her for warmth. Still, she didn't sleep in another hour, when the tears finally subsided and she was able to find some rest in her memories that were her dreams…


Another few days, maybe even another week passed until Gwen showed the first sickness symptoms. At first, it was nothing special but she soon found it strange to be sick and vomiting every morning and having strange points in the day where she did want to eat far too much. The days were rather busy and she had not seen Gaius nor Merlin despite quick glances in the hallways. There was no complete council meeting planned for that day and so Gwen decided to take some of her time to get over to Gaius', maybe taking something against her stomach problems. She honestly didn't think any of it by that point. Some stomach sickness was going around among the townspeople, she guessed she had caught it too, maybe at the market some mornings ago.

Upon entering the physician's chambers, she was greeted by a working Gaius and a reading Merlin sitting by Gwaine's bedside. The knight was still sound asleep and Gwen tried to swallow down her worry because of that while she greeted the two of them and sat down opposite of Merlin. The court sorcerer greeted back, looking up before his gaze rested on her a moment longer than it should have, an eyebrow raised. He then turned back to his book, saying nothing while he chewed on the bread in his right hand.

"Gwen. What brings me the pleasure? Everything alright?" Gaius asked, ever the polite physician he was. Gwen looked up at him and shook her head.

"Actually, Gaius, I-"

"Urgh. Wha whua." Came a mumbling noise from between her and Merlin. Immediately, everybody in the room froze and Merlin had immediately forgotten his book and bread completely. He tossed it at the next table where it landed with a thud and stood from his chair, walking the step over to Gwaine. This was the first time the knight had raised his voice higher than a mumble and Merlin was able to see his eyes move under the eyelids.

"Gwaine? Gwaine, can you hear me?", he asked, gently shaking the knight's shoulder with his long fingers. It took a few moments, but suddenly, Gwaine's bright brown eyes flew open and he drew in a deep breath, taking in his surroundings and lifting an arm to hold his head.

"Oh god, I feel awful. Merlin, mate, is that you? I think I've had too much last night.", he said, obviously unable to properly focus on Merlin since he was squirting his eyes together even further.

"What're you doing in my chambers, anyway? Or didn't you get me that far? Wait, what- my Lady?! Where am I, what happened?", he asked as he had turned his head and spotted Guinevere, obviously able to see properly again. The queen looked at him with astonishment and wanted to answer but Merlin beat him to it.

"Gwaine, calm down. You didn't exactly go to the tavern last night. For the first time in your life as a knight, there actually is a reason you are in Gaius' chambers.", he began and then sat by Gwaine's side, taking the cloth of his forehead as he continue speaking. "You were tortured by Morgana in the war, with a Nathair. Do you remember anything of it?" he finished his questions and looked at Gwaine accordingly while the knight just stared at his friend and tried to compensate all he was seeing. Merlin was dressed strangely fine, he had deep dark rings under his eyes that hadn't been there last time he remembered. Guinevere looked kind of sick and Gaius didn't look much better either. Something must have happened...something bad. But they were still smiling at him, which was a good sight to see. And he tried to remember. Realization finally dawned in and his eyes widened.

"Yes! Yes oh dear lord, I told her where you were heading! Merlin I am so sorry! I didn't mean to, she…the pain-"

"It's alright, Gwaine. It's a wonder you're even alive right now. Stay calm, it's not your fault.", he said and it sounded like he actually meant it. Gwaine's brain worked and he stared at Merlin some more.

"Yeah, that's right. I…I thought I was dying back there. Percy was with me. How exactly did I survive that?", he asked, looking at the others for confirmation, mainly at Gaius. For all he knew, he would provide the healing answers most of the time.

"I healed you." It came from Merlin, to Gwaine's utter confusion. First, he was confused, then he grinned. He always had known that Merlin was more talented than anybody gave him credit for!

"Well thanks then, mate! Alright, I'm glad I'm back but I need to talk to Arthur, where is he, in the council room? His chambers? Why're you not with him, anyway?" he tried to get up but Merlin pressed him back down as his face was getting more horrid with every word the knight spoke. Right….Gwaine was the only one who didn't know yet. He had no idea…Merlin opened his mouth but no words would escape them, he dropped his gaze and tried with all force to avoid the tears from falling again. Yes, he had made some peace with himself last week but that didn't mean he could properly speak about it or let his thoughts wander to that corner. It was still making him want to cry in a corner and hug his knees for comfort. Gwaine was about to ask when Gaius stepped in.

"You can't go see the king, Gwaine. Arthur died and was taken to Avalon to rise when the kingdom needs him the most. Merlin tried to get him there beforehand but it seems their journey was delayed and it was too late for Arthur…", he explained, not saying that Morgana was indeed part of what kept them from getting there in time. Gwaine didn't need any more guilt on him. It was enough seeing Gwaine's expression turning to pure horror while listening to Gaius and he slowly shook his head.

"No…no way. This can't have just happened. And what do you mean, rise? If he's dead, how is he supposed to rise?", he asked, looking at Merlin now, just to see the pain even more prominent in his eyes. He had never seen his friend suffer so much and he suddenly realized what he had just said. Asking him why he wasn't with Arthur and where the king was, demanding to speak to him even though he couldn't. He inwardly wanted to hit himself for being so stupid. He heard Gwen trying to silent a sob to his other side but he ignored her for the moment, grabbing Merlin's wrist.

"Merlin? Hey, it's not your fault, alright? Just…tell me what happened when you're ready. Remember what Arthur always said? 'No man is worth your tears.' So just calm down and get me something to drink first, eh? My throat is pretty dry from…wait, how long was I out?", he asked and tried to muster a smile. It was hard on him too of course, finding out his king was dead. He first hadn't really liked the royal, despising royals in general, but Arthur had been different. He had given him a reason to serve him, to serve the greater good and fight for what was right. But he had come to this kingdom in the first place because of Merlin. And his friend needed him, so he hid his grieve for later, trying to cheer the poor guy up who had always been by Arthur's side more than any of his knights had ever been, even Leon who was here the longest.

"'Bout two weeks.", Merlin croaked and Gwaine stared at him further. Two weeks? That explained why he looked like he hadn't slept in very long. He ignored his throbbing headache and tried to sit up to his elbows, grabbing Merlin's wrist a little tighter while the ex-servant was trying not to look at him but anywhere else.

"Merlin." He began carefully, wanting to reach over to him and pat his shoulder with his other hand but soon found that his body wasn't quite strong enough and he felt his elbow giving in, dropping himself back to bed and groaned in pain. Shit, his head hurt like hell, how was he supposed to do anything like this? He had already slept for two freaking weeks!

"I told you not to move. Let me see your head again.", Merlin was suddenly focused again, the tears and moaning forgotten. Gwaine wondered how he got around questions about his well being like this, occupying himself with other stuff and constantly doing something instead of being left alone with his thoughts.

"I don't think any herbs will help me against that headache, mate.", Gwaine groaned and shoved Merlin's hand away. A smile suddenly spread on his friends face and that was when Gwaine raised an eyebrow in question.

"I wasn't planning on using any herbs, Gwaine.", he said and lifted his left hand, placing it on Gwaine's forehead. Then, when Gwaine had perfect view of his face, he mumbled something under his breath in a language Gwaine didn't know and suddenly, his eyes glowed golden and before he knew, the pain in his head seemed to subside, dull was maybe the more precise description. As Merlin's eyes turned back to blue, he smiled even wider, obviously amused by Gwaine's completely gobsmacked expression. The knight didn't flinch back, he just stared. Then he checked what the other two in the room were doing. They too seemed to watch him, waiting for a reaction. So they had known…Well then..

"So that's what you were up to back then…Am I mistaken? Something magical to aid Arthur in battle? That's what you couldn't tell me? Come on, like I would have attacked you!" he laughed dryly and shook his head, attempting to box Merlin in the shoulder, which he barely dodged but clumsily fell off his chair because of it. Another laugh came from Gwaine and this time, he could Merlin laugh as well, slowly getting to his feet again. It was nice to see he was still his clumsy self, even if him being magic was something very strange for Gwaine. Then again...it would really explain very many strange happenings around them.

"You're right. I should have known that you were more tolerant about this than Arthur. After all, you did live in nothing but taverns outside of Camelot for most of your life.", Merlin said and sat back onto his chair. But Gwaine just shook his head.

"No, that's not what I mean. You're my friend. You should have trusted me to not turn on you because of something you can do or something you are. You could probably have a love affair with Morgana and I would accept it...well, maybe. That's a little different case, the woman had really lost it in the end...How long have you practiced magic?", he asked but before Melrin did even answer, Gwaine already thought he knew the answer.

"Always. Since the day I was born. My mother told me I moved objects even before I could sit upright on my own."

"Must've been scary to have an object moving baby."Gwaine laughed and adjusted his bed sheets around him.

"Shut up, Gwaine.", Merlin said with a smile plastered on his face. It was good to see him smile honestly and Gwaine was glad that he was here in Camelot because if he wouldn't have returned, the knight was pretty sure that he would be dead by now.

They were interrupted by someone opening the door slowly after knocking politely. A boy walked in and looked to Gaius.

"I'm sorry Sir, I'm looking for the Court Sorcerer? He's not in his chambers.."

"Right over there, son." Gaius pointed to Merlin by Gwaine's bedside and Gwaine had to laugh even more.

"Court Sorcerer? You were busy while I was asleep, My Lady. Already lifted the ban then, I assume?" he looked over to Gwen, who had been extremely quiet this whole time. The boy at the door turned white and quickly bowed to Gwen and then Merlin.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but…my mother needs help, Sir.", he said to Merlin, who seemed to turn crimson immediately. He had obviously never been called Sir before and he didn't exactly seem to like it.

"Please don't…don't call me Sir. Merlin is just fine. I'm no knight or anything. And alright, I'm coming. Where do you live? Give me a few minutes.", he said with a friendly smile on. The boy nodded and described the way to his house before he was gone again. Merlin stood up and stretched while Gaius turned to Gwen.

"What were you here for, my Lady? I'm sure you wanted something against your sickness? You look a little pale.", he said and that's when all eyes were on the queen, even Merlin's who had begun to walk to the door after saying a small goodbye to Gwaine and the queen. The court Sorcerer came to a halt and again frowned at Gwen. What was wrong with him, Gwen wondered?

"Yeah, I've been sick in the mornings, it's really a bit strange. I hope I didn't catch the stomach sickness from the townspeople- Merlin, what is the matter with you?!" she interrupted her assumptions as the sorcerer came closer, seemingly staring at her with an expression that told her he was realizing something he couldn't believe.

"Gwen…you're sick in the mornings? Strangely hungry during the day? A little faint sometimes maybe? It's been a little over two weeks since the battle, right?", he asked, stepping even closer and Gwen nodded at all of it.

"Of course, what are you implying?", she asked but then saw Gaius behind Merlin gasp in shock, covering his mouth. What the heck was happening, did she have some kind of grave sickness she should know of?

"Gwen. Please, I know this question is strange, but…before the battle... Did you and Arthur…share a bed?", he asked and now it was Gwen's turn to gasp while Gwaine raised both his eyebrows and blinked hard. Well that was some topic change. And an inappropriate one at that.

"Merlin! How dare you!" she said, outraged and strangely red in the face. She did remember that night, the night she had shared a bed with Arthur before the battle and Arthur had woken up in the middle of the night after they had fallen asleep, suddenly mumbling something about Merlin speaking to him in his dreams. So what was Merlin implying? A realization flashed through her and her eyes went wide.

"Gwen…I…I think you may be pregnant.", he said, looking to Gaius for confirmation. Probably an instinct from learning under him for so long. The physician nodded and Merlin turned back to her, his face turning brighter by the second.

"I thought I did feel something was strange when you came in! You're not just emitting one life force but three at a time, Gwen! Oh my god I can't believe this…" his voice was raised and he had made his way over, shaking Gwen by her upper arms. The queen couldn't quite cope herself. Pregnant…s-she was pregnant! That meant that it was Arthur's child, h-his child was actually growing inside her right now! Oh my god was the right term indeed. She suddenly felt like she was going to faint.

"Gwen? Hey, Gwen!" she was shaken again and that was what brought her back. A smile spread across her own face and it turned into a grin.

"Merlin! Oh god, I'm actually pregnant! Oh come here." She then began to hug Merlin fiercely, knowing that the warlock was just as excited about the news as she was. The young man returned the hug and even spun her around while laughing out loud before letting go and kissing her forehead with his raw hands at her neck. She saw that a few tears had left his eyes but this time, they weren't only tears of sadness but of joy and happiness about these news. He was actually more excited about this than about being court sorcerer, was he? It made Gwen's own grin grow even wider but then she suddenly frowned.

"Wait, did you just say three life forces?", she asked, puzzled about that expression. What was that about Life forces anyway? Merlin could feel life forces? Just how powerful was this man anyway?

"Yes, Gwen. You're having twins! Oh I can't believe this is happening…" he said and took her hands in his while Gwen felt her own tears rise and flow down her beautiful cheeks, some touching her full lips because she was smiling so brightly. He then turned around and ruffled his hair before spinning around again. It was as if the two of them had blocked the others out completely. While Gwaine lay on the bed and watched them curiously, also a smile on his face, Gaius was already walking around the room, obviously collecting herbs for Gwen already. Merlin took her hands again and his face was now dead serious.

"Gwen. Whatever happens, I swear to you with my life that I'm going to be there and I will protect you and your children, whatever it may take. I know it wasn't fair of me to wanting to run away from all this just to wait for Arthur. You deserve being protected just as much, Camelot does. I'm sorry I was like this, I…" he took a deep breath and smiled at her again.

"Thank you, Gwen, really. You gave me hope that I may have not completely failed in my duties after all. Arthur will be back and Camelot will stay protected until that day comes." Gwen nodded and her gaze was gentle. She touched his cheek and chin and tilted her head.

"You don't have to apologize, Merlin. I understand. And I should be thanking you instead." She smiled and they looked at each other for a moment, happy about these news and what they meant. Gwen carried an heir. And not just any random child, it was actually Arthur's child and they were two of them! She knew the next months would be exhausting for her and it would be difficult alone but she had friends by her side, helping her through this, even if the actual father wasn't. A pain shot through her heart at that thought but she didn't want to ruin the moment so she didn't let it show on her face.

"Merlin, weren't you going to help that boy's mother out?", Gaius voice sounded in their ears and they both jumped a little, having completely forgotten that the other two were still in the room. Merlin let her loose and nodded, wiping the tears form his face once again.

"Yes…yes, you're right. I'll see you later, Gwen. Let Gaius give you something against the sickness. Gwaine, I'm coming back to treat your head again this evening!" a little promise to fill him in with what happened lay within his voice before he shot them a last bright smile and ran out the door to get to the lower town quickly.

As he ran, his mind raced with thoughts about the future. Gwen was having Arthur's children! He could only imagine the king's reaction to this but he thought it would have been even more extreme than his. The two of them had been married for quite a while already but they had never really talked about children and even tried to avoid it by making Gwen drink potions so she didn't get pregnant in the first place. They had done it because they feared that while there was this war raging, Morgana would use their child or the pregnant Gwen to her advantage and they really couldn't risk that. Now that the war was over, they could have seized these measures but Arthur didn't really have any time to taste out the peace since Morgana died just before he did, at Lake Avalon. So it was pure luck, really really good luck that Gwen had actually come with Arthur to the battlefield and that they had spent that last night together without Gwen realizing she had had her ovulation without taking Gaius mixture. Or maybe destiny was telling him all wasn't lost after all? Was this supposed to show him that he shouldn't give up hope so easily? That they had maybe won the war after all, even if their king was lost? And he wasn't lost forever, after all. Merlin would be there. However long it took, he would be there and wait for him. Sure, it would be difficult. He was sure that he would life over the lifetime of his friends and he didn't really want to think about it right now.

All he knew was that right now, things seemed to go pretty smoothly. Optimism was something he hadn't felt for as long as he had heard of that dreadful prophecy. He had thought there was nothing left in his world if that came true, that there was no way he would still be able to life in this world if Arthur wasn't in this world any more. But technically, Arthur was just sleeping. He thought about that the prophecy had said "end", not "death" and had to smile. Damn those prophecies. But it didn't matter. Now he could focus on being productive in the time his king was gone. Learning new things, achieving greatness for the kingdom together with Gwen, protecting the thrown until Arthur came back to claim it again. That was his task right now. He shouldn't drown in misery, he should really try to take what he had left and make the best of it. Stay the way he was, like Arthur had asked him to. What else was there to do?

And suddenly, just a little, he felt the gaping hole in his heart stitch up and his soul felt less empty.

In a way, he felt fixed.


Blah, lame ending x_X. I know this was even longer than the last one but I wanted to address so many things ^^". Hope you still like it? ^^"

NEXT CHAPTER: Official funeral for Arthur (since it does need organizing and the people from other kingdoms to arrive), Gwaine getting better, pregnancy, Aithrusa and what Merlin did in the night he met Gwen in the castle (first chapter). WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'LL DO WITH AITHUSA? I thought he'd give her a lecture but he'll probably let her live and try to teach her to speak and try to cure her of being crippled?

Feel free to drop a review, every single one makes my day! :3