A/N: This isn't my best chapter, admittedly. That's probably because I was watching retsupurae at the exact same time and I had this Metallica album on my mind, S&M I think. Anywho, chapter.

Vinyl Crosses Abbey Road
Chapter 3: Maxwell's Silver Hammer

"Well, here it is!" Pinkie announced, coming to a stop, some ponies accidentally running into the back of her. They quickly apologized in whispers.

"What it is?" Fluttershy asked from somwhere near the middle of the crowd, trying to get a good look at whatever it was she was supposed to be looking at.

"Why, it's my new tent!" Pinkie exclaimed, stepping aside to reveal a totally tiny tent. Most of the crowd looked confused, so Pinkie explained, "You see, I realized the other day that with all the money I was getting from my weekly parties, I could buy something like this! I got it on loan from the Magical Mystery Committee!"

"And just what's so special about it?" Vinyl asked, prying her attention away from Octavia and onto... Everything else, really.

"Well, you see-" Pinkie started, but just laughed a little. "Come inside and I'll show you!"

The partially problematic pink pony (I love alliteration) quickly ran inside. Nopony really wanted to be the fool who'd disobey somepony who was literally half Pinkamena, so they followed her inside. They were shocked... And awed.

"As you can see," Pinkie told the crowd. "It's bigger on the inside then the outside, which means that our technology, the most advanced being lights and turntables, has gotten so advanced that we can rival Dr. Whooves! Anyways, look! I got a dance floor and tables and that buffet nopony ever seems to eat from and a stage!"

"With last years DJ equipment, I see," Vinyl commented, with a mock sigh. "Even with all your money and criminal genius you still can't be up with the times."

Pinkie inspected the turntables and such. "Well, you're right about that," Pinkie said slowly. "But I was hoping you could DJ!"

"Wha- But it's my day off!" Vinyl protested. She was clearly in no state of mind to do something as quote-unquote "hard" as putting a disc on a table.

"But your flier says you don't take days off. Isn't that why you once scheduled twenty seven gigs at the same time in ten different cities, including Canterlot?"

"Hey, we don't talk about that!" Vinyl snapped.

"Just like how we don't talk about that one time that one pony woke up-" Pinkie began.

"We don't talk about that either!"

"Vhat's the matter?" Octavia asked Vinyl. "Something vrong?"

"No, something's not wrong!" Vinyl replied. She starting to sweat lightly for no reason.

"You've been folloving me around, you've put a pink glow around me," Octavia listed, "you insulted Screvball... Vait, even I don't knov vhy I talk to her."

"Probably some kind of insanity complex," Vinyl muttered under her breath, hoping her sudden crush didn't hear that.

Octavia did and simply rolled her eyes at the remark. "Look, I don't knov vhat's vrong vith you, but you can surely do a small gig, can't you?" she enquired.

And with that, Vinyl started stammering again, trying to get the words out without sounding extremely stupid. It was kind of too late by that point, in case you couldn't tell. Eventually, Rainbow Dash couldn't take it anymore, so she just trotted over and slapped Vinyl.

"Would you please just shut up and get up there?" Rainbow asked, sounding less peeved then she normally would be.

"Well-" Vinyl started to say, but she was already being dragged to the stage by Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and, for some reason, Derpy. "This can be counted as assault! I can sue!"

Vinyl tried to struggle out, but their weak grips proved to be too much for the white unicorn. Rarity collapsed for no reason, leaving Fluttershy to pick up where Rarity left off.

"I'm so sorry I have to do this," Fluttershy whispered to Vinyl. "It's just that the other Hammerskins would have thought I gave up too easily if I didn't do this."

"You know Fluttershy, you're weird," Vinyl whispered back. "One minute you're an insane buck carrying a chainsaw and living in your shed, then the next you're a cult leader, then you believe in this hammer nonsense."

"It's not nonsense..." Fluttershy muttered under her breath, tossing Vinyl onto the stage with the other three.

Vinyl landed on a pile of record, breaking a few of them and, surprisingly, zero bones. She quickly scrambled to her feet and looked the crowd, waiting and hoping for some of her dubstep hits.

"Uh..." Vinyl started sweating more heavily now. "Hey, everypony. I know you just dragged me up here-"

"Get on with it!" one random pony who shalt rename nameless shouted.

"Well, I was just saying that you could have cut me a little slack. And, y'know-"

"Yes, get on with it!" a different pony shouted.

"B-but, I was just going to say that I had no plan to do this and I don't even know the selection, and even if there's anything I would want to play! And knowing how Pinkie got last year's equipment, she probably got-"

"YES, GET ON WITH IT!" the entire crowd yelled.

"OK, OK!" Vinyl yelled as well. "Just give me a moment!" And she quickly began to look through the selection. There wasn't a very good selection. Sure, it had some hits by Golden Holster and Rolling Songstone, but nothing spectacular. Separating the broken records from the salvageable ones, she quickly started to take parts from one and putting them into another, hoping to recreate one of her first remixes. Sure, her first demos weren't fantastic, but they were quite decent. If "Within You Without You" was there-

"GET ON WITH IT!" Celestia commanded from somewhere far off.

"Wait a minute!" Vinyl told the audience. "I still need to make this mix! Can't somepony else take over?"

The entire crowd erupted into laughter before abruptly stopping.

"That's a 'NO', in case you couldn't tell," Lyra said.

Vinyl put hoof-2-face. "Thank you Captain Obvious the Second!" she said. She sighed and added, "Is there anything I can do while I make this mix?"

Silence came and was as still as most background ponies are who can't be bothered to have animation.

"Tell us a tale!" a great and powerful Russian voice spoke up.

"I like stories!" Pinkie agreed. "Thanks for suggesting, Trixie!"

"Trixie's name should remain unknown!" she announced. "Wait..."

"I would ask what you're doing here, but I wanna hear Vinyl tell us a story!" Pinkie exclaimed with a wide grin.

The audience agreed, because, again, you can spit in the wind and tug on Mare-Do-Well's cape, but you do NOT mess around with Pinkamena Diane Pie.

"UUUUUUUUUHHHHH..." Vinyl's sweat came back at full force. After a short period of just sustaining two syllables, she said, "As long as Miss Trixie comes up here and finishes my mix while I'm telling it!"

Said pony was thrown up on stage, hitting the wall face first.

"Follow these notes," Vinyl almost hissed, MAGICKING some notes to the great and powerful boasters, "finish my mix, then explain why exactly you came back and why you're Russian!"

Trixie groaned something.

Turning back to the audience, Vinyl opened her mouth to start, but then realized she saw Octavia again and her mind was getting over-flooded with the mare again. Knowing she had to come up with something, she quickly surveyed the audience.

"This... This is a story about a pony I once knew," Vinyl began, her eyes continuing to dart around the tent, "named... Joanne!"

"Who would name their kid that?!" Rainbow called out.

"Very cruel ones obviously," Vinyl said quickly. "Anyways, she was studying..." Her eyes landed on Derpy, which reminded Vinyl of Dr. Whooves. "Science! And she spent most nights alone with test tubes!"

"Reminds me a lot of me a lot of myself, actually," Twilight commented with a hint of sadness.

Vinyl continued: "And she also knew a boy named... Uh, Maxwell Edison!"

"I accept that name better for some reason!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"And he studied... Medicine! So he called Joanne one night and asked her if she would like to... To... See a movie... Yeah, I'll go with that. So, she's getting ready to go and-"

"That's it?" Pinkie enquired. "I thought it would be better then that! I-"

"But that's not all that happens!" Vinyl interrupted quickly. "There was a knock on the door! So she answered it, and-"

"AND?" Pinkie slowly turned her hoof, wanting Vinyl the continue.

Vinyl chewed her bottom lip, getting the nice taste of blood, before coming up with only thing to continue her story: "She died!"

There was a small silence. "HOW?!" one pony eventually asked.

"I-It was Maxwell!" Vinyl explained. "A-and he used... His... Silver hammer!"

"Silver?" Rarity looked intrigued somehow. "I thought that went of style years ago!"

Pinkie shushed Rarity and said, "It's starting to get interesting. Go on, Vinyl!"

"Um... OK..." Vinyl said slowly. She hoped that would shock 'em out of it, but she forgot that she lived with ponies who make them into rainbows for their sick enjoyment or something or other. "Yes, uh, brought his silver hammer right down on her head, the banging ringing in her ears until she was nothing but a bloody mess on the floor! Then, Maxwell licked his hammer, slowly, tasting the blood and letting the escatsy flow through his veins. Then-"

"Are you being dark just for the sake of being dark?" Trixie enquired.

"Did I say you could speak?" Vinyl snapped. "And this would be a lot easier if ponies didn't keep interrupting me!"

"Fine, fine," Trixie muttered, going back to attempting to read Vinyl's awful hoof-writing.

"Now, as I was saying," Vinyl continued, her eyes darting around, still trying to find ways to continue, "Maxwell, uh, went to school the next day, somehow not being caught and, uh, annoyed his teacher... Yeah, go with it... Um, so she makes him stay behind. And had to write fifty times, I must not be so... So... S-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O... I don't know..."

"Beeeu!"

"Shut up, Nyx! A-anyways, as I was saying, the teacher turns her back and... He kills her as well. With the same hammer. Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head, I guess. Ah... So he goes and, er, killed other ponies! But then he got caught."

"Aw, man."

"Be quiet, Pinkie! So, he gets caught by this pony named PC-31 and goes on trial. His two friend are there, Roseluck-"

"BRUHT?"

"...And Valerie. So, the trial goes on and he gets deemed guilty. The judge tells the two so, but Maxwell kills him as. Then his friends. Aaaaaand the guards."

The crowd was quiet. Either they were processing what they just heard or they were just being silent 'cause the script called from it.

"Well, I'm done," Vinyl said very quickly, starting to walk off stage, "I guess I'll be going."

"WAIT!" Trixie popped up in front of Vinyl for no reason. "What about this song you forced Trixie to make?"

Vinyl was as silent as the crowd for a moment. "Well," she began, "I guess I forgot about it considering my story and a-"

She recieved a slap from the egotisical republican communist Russian. (What, you don't see it?) "Trixie knows that something it's wrong with you."

"What do ya mean?"

"Well, first of all, you're sweating up a storm. Second, Trixie doesn't need to be a rocket science to see that your eyes have been looking everywhere except where your supposed to be. Third, you've been adding 'ums' and 'ers' to your sentences!"

"Look, just let me go, man!" Vinyl exclaimed. "Look, I may be acting extremely out of character, I think even more then that one Daring Do comic-"

"Amen to that, brother!" Rainbow shouted out of nowhere.

"-But that's reason for speculation!"

"Actually, I agree," Octavia spoke up. "Please explain to me, and everypony here for that matter, vhy you've been acting like this."

"Fine!" Vinyl said with a groan. She went back to the turntable, picked the microphone up with MAGIK and took a deep breath.

A minute passed. Then two. Then three. Four. John found two bits and had a heart-attack. Then one. Then- FOR THE LOVE OF LUNA BUCKING TWILIGHT UP THE BUCKING $$, GET ON WITH IT!

"I..." Vinyl proclaimed in a dramatic voice. "Vinyl 'DJ P0N-3' Scratch... Am in love... With one Miss... Octavia Horatio Philharmonic!"

A minute passed.

Lyra blinked. "Uh... The irony...?"

A/N: The irony indeed, Lyra... The irony. Tune in next chapter for Vinyl spilling her heart out to Octavia and getting rejected!... You saw it coming.