Disclaimer: Still don't own anything…
Note: Eh…still messed up. Also…Envy's little rant is almost entirely my English teacher's.
X
Armstrong, sparkles and all, bounded into the woods, followed closely by a number of others in military uniform, prancing along.
"'Lo there, fellows." Armstrong's voice boomed through the trees of the night, "Where have you been?"
"All through the woods." They beamed, "Are you not the trouble maker, causing pain to those around you?"
"You jest!" He protested, spinning around daintily, "I but hug and help, and they end up hurt! Not my fault, indeed!"
"Uh…huh…" they all shook their heads, and changed the subject, "Oh but the king of the fairies, Maes, and his wife, Gracia, are fighting over a child."
"OH!" Armstrong agreed, "And here they come now!"
Just then both Hughes and his wife approached, and cast fierce glares at one another.
"You're probably here just to see Roy." Hughes accused her.
"Hah!" She scoffed, "You obviously are in love with Riza."
"Whatever." He rolled his eyes, "You should just give upElysia."
"What, and make her go through another photo shoot of yours?" she shot at him, fiercely.
"I don't see why you're so protective about it." He complained.
"I want only the best for her, that's all! You're practically using the poor girl."
Hughes began to grumble, in a huff, "You are a pain, sometimes, dear."
Spinning on her heel, she stormed off, without another word.
"Armstrong." Hughes beckoned, "There is a flower of magical properties, that will cast a love spell on the one whose eyes it placed on their eyes, making them fall in love with the next living thing they sight."
"Yes?" Armstrong asked, anticipating.
"I want you to retrieve this for me-then I will use it on Gracia to make her fall in love with some beast, and then she will be so embarrassed that she will allow me to take hundreds of photos of Elysia."
"Yes sir!" Armstrong beamed before dashing off, ignoring the immaturity of the plan.
Just then Envy and Winry wandered along, the fairy Hughes making himself invisible to mortal eyes.
"I hate you, Winry!" Envy shouted at her, plainly frustrated, "Now where the hell are Ed and Al? I wish to kill, chibi-san. Now…stop following me!"
"I follow you because you are like a magnet to me!" she beamed.
"I insult you, and mock you!" he groaned, "I tell you how much I hate you, but you're still following me."
"Because I love you so much, Envy!" she cried, still smiling foolishly, "The more you kick and strike me, the more I shall love you! I'm just so loyal to you!"
"Winry." He snapped, turning on her, "I. Hate. You. Get it?" he seethed, before going off on a rant, "I hate you. I hate your family. I hate your friends. I hate your dog. I hate your goldfish, for crying out loud! I don't love you. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Got it?"
"And yet I will still try." She sighed contentedly.
"You make me sick to my stomach."
"I'm sick when I'm not with you!"
"And you're following me into the woods at night, you're such a slut."
"Being close to you is a privilege, my honour. IT does not make me a slut to follow you so late at night, but makes me graced and honoured."
"My god, woman!" he growled, "I'll hide in the god damn bushes, and let wild animals eat you!"
"The wildest animals have no heart as courageous as yours, and none could keep me from you!"
"If you follow me, I swear I'll hurt you."
"You hurt me by not returning this love of mine!"
"Shut up!" Envy growled before bolting off.
"I will follow you to the ends of the earth!" she called after him, and then ran to do so.
Hughes stepped out of the shadow, shaking his head at the troubles of the mortals, "Poor girl. I wish her the best."
Just then Armstrong came by, carrying the flower Maes had requested, "Here you are, my lord!"
"Thank you." He gave part of it back to Armstrong, "Take this to find a girl…boy from Central, and sprinkle some on his eyes while he sleeps. He will be found near another, following him. Make sure this person is the first he sees when he awakes."
"Yes, sir!" Armstrong acknowledged, and went off to do so.
