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Da, Father Sibeal and I all stood there on the porch and watched them walk off into the distance until we could no longer see them. With a heavy sigh I turned back around and walked into the house. Da and Father Sibeal followed soon after.
"Da, I'm not feeling to well. I think I'm gonna go lay down for the night." I said putting some of the dinner dishes by the sink. I looked over at him and saw what I was feeling in his eyes. Worry, pain, stress, more worry, and a hint of jealousy for not being able to go. He nodded at me and gave a weak smile. I gave a weak smile back and made my way to Connors and my room.
I walked into the room, it seemed so bare and lost. I was never this clingy, but with Connor it wasn't necessarily clingy. We were made for each other, as corny as that sounds. We had hardly ever been apart in the last eight years. It was just what we had become accustomed to. I walked over to the bed and curled into a ball under the covers. I could smell him everywhere. It wasn't that fact that he was gone that made me this way, it was the fact of why he left. Something could happen to him, he may not come back. A wave of worry flooded through me. I let out another heavy sigh and began to sob into the pillow. I couldn't hold on to the tears any longer.
I cried into the night until the exhaustion from crying took me.
…...
The next morning I woke up with my eyes almost crusted shut from tears. I could feel how swollen they were when I was prying them open. I got up and found my way to the bathroom and washed my face. I looked up into the mirror, my eyes were defiantly swollen there was no covering that up. I looked like hell. I let out a long breath trying not to make my eyes water and threaten tears to fall again. I had to be strong for me. I left the bathroom and made my way down the stairs to make bread for the day.
Da was already up and sitting in his chair when I came down. I nodded as we made eye contact and walked over to the pantry area. I pulled out the items to make bread as Da broke the silence.
"How are ya today darlin'?" he asked with the most sympathy I have ever heard from him. I froze with all of the materials in my hands. I walked over to the counter and turned to him.
"I-" I began to say then changed my mind. "I'm fine Da. Good as I can be." I said with a fake smile. He wasn't convinced but I know he wouldn't push it any further. Silence filled the room. I turned back around and got a bowl and began measuring the ingredients into the bowl.
"Ya know you should have probably gone with them." Da said as I smiled to myself.
"And why is that?" I asked.
"Because you knew Father McKinney almost as well as they did. Hell even better. And someones got to watch after my boys." he said. I nodded my head in approval and began to stir the mix in the bowl. Silence enveloped the room again. I began to stir the mix, and started to feel lightheaded. I put the bowl down on the counter and grabbed onto the edge.
"Caprice, whats wrong?" I heard a panicked Da say behind me. I could hear him getting up and walking towards me but he wasn't fast enough. My breathing became panicked from not understanding what was going on. The last thing I remember is falling to the ground at a rapid pace then complete darkness.
