Thanks for the review and all those reading the story. I hope you are enjoying it so far. No disrespect is meant to the real men and I write only for fun based off the mini-series actors.
I have to give credit to the title of this story being an Alice Cooper song title. I hope he won't mind…it just seemed to fit.
And just like the first time
We're just strangers again
I might have grown out of style
In the place I've been
- Alice Cooper
Chapter 3
Berlin-1956
When she stepped through the door Gunter was immediately by her side. "You look terrible Renee, what happened?"
Patting his hand she forced herself to smile. "Calm down, you know that the day after a migraine is always hard on me. But a good night's sleep and I'll be fine tomorrow, you'll see."
Gunter lifted her chin and studied her eyes. The deep bruising under her eyes was worse than it had been this morning and he knew she'd been trying to remember. Shaking his head sadly he pushed her down onto the couch.
"Why must you lie to me? You know that I only have your best interest at heart and yet you continue to push yourself. Why? After twelve years why do this now? Haven't I always been there for you, isn't that enough?"
She pulled her hand away from his and rubbed her face. "I don't know. I've never had the desire to know before now and…and oh it's just so hard to explain. Can you imagine having your whole life reduced to twelve years?" Her showed the pleading she felt deep inside; she had to make him understand.
"You see, I don't even know when my real birthday is. I don't know who I was or what I was before this happened." Reaching out she cupped his face between her hands. "Please understand, I don't love you any less and never could…but yesterday… seeing that man. He made me want to know and Gunter; I think he could answer those questions."
Gunter pulled her hands away from his face and stood. "Yes well I know I can't stop you, just please for me, try not to push so hard I hate seeing you in pain." Turning he smiled, "let me get you a cup of tea and then you can head to bed for that good night's sleep you wanted."
Renee watched him walk out, unsure if she'd ever sleep well again.
As night closed in, he found himself sitting in the same place he'd awoken that morning, except this time he had a hefty drink in his hand. His head was pounding after a grueling day of dealing with the Russians coupled with the spare thoughts spent thinking about Kellie.
God what a mess this was turning out to be. Maybe he deserved to be teased with this maybe that really hadn't been her. Yeah right, how many German women have you seen with ice green eyes. Oh yeah and how many drive your libido into overdrive just by looking at them.
Shaking his head he downed the rest of the scotch and stood. Tonight he was going to make it to bed; unfortunately he knew that sleep, if it came, would be plagued by dreams. He just hoped they were of a more pleasant nature, because he had no desire to ever relieve that last meeting.
She had never been so cold in her life and it had nothing to do with the temperature. She'd not seen him in a month and suddenly he's in front of her, hands clenched at his side.
"Something you want to tell me?"
Frowning she tried harder to focus on his face, something was wrong; he was never his cold to her.
Licking her lips she straightened her shoulders, "yes I do need to tell you something and I'm not sure how you'll take it."
He stepped closer to her; she could see the intensity behind his eyes and even a little anger. "Well just say it. You've always been good at getting to the point."
The shiver of fear ran down her spine but she had to tell him, no more lies and hiding. "Well you see…"
Renee woke up screaming. The tears streaming down her face, yet she found herself warm and safe in her bedroom. She could see the first faint rays of dawn slipping between the curtains.
From down the hall she heard the door slam against the wall and the footsteps rushing toward her. Clutching the covers around her she tried to still her racing heart before Gunter entered, too bad it didn't work.
"Renee my God what happened? Are you okay?"
She let him pull her into his arms and relaxed against him, the pounding behind her eyes was bad, but not migraine level yet. She could only hope that the tears on her cheeks would be chalked up to a headache and nothing else.
"I…I'm sorry I had a dream…or a nightmare. The man from the train station was there and he was so angry with me and I felt like there was something critical I had to tell him…something that…damn it, why can't I remember?"
Gunter pulled her closer and ran his hand up and down her back trying to calm her. Inside he was terrified. He'd known that the man yesterday knew her, yet he would have never dreamed that she would push this hard to remember. He was going to lose her unless he could divert her.
Forcing her to lean back he cupped her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. He could see the fear and worry clearly etched there; yes he had to divert her. Rubbing his thumb across her cheek he smiled. "Now, you must relax, you are going to make yourself ill. Did you ever think that maybe just seeing this man yesterday caused you to pull him into your dreams? You found him attractive no?"
He saw her frown in thought and then smile. "Oh of course, you're right I just pulled him into some weird dream I was having. It probably had nothing to do with a memory at all just random thoughts."
She pushed away from him and gave him real smile. "Well come on, the day is just starting and I'm sure there is something fun we could do today."
As he watched her leave the room he felt the weight in his chest lift. Yes, this plan just might work, because God knew he couldn't stand the pain of losing her.
Aldbourne-1943
Kellie propped her head up on one hand while she tried to focus on writing out the supply order. She'd not slept and was now running on sheer will power. She was just thankful no one had been awake this morning to see her when she left.
A coffee cup suddenly appearing in front of her had her lifting her weary head and reaching for it at the same time. Before she thanked whoever had brought it, she closed her eyes and sipped the strong brew.
The masculine chuckle had her eyes snapping open. "Well if only I'd known sooner that the way to your heart was a cup of coffee, I'd have stopped by earlier."
Kellie couldn't help the amused smirk that graced her face. "Wow you just don't quit."
Buck leaned down closer to her smiling, "nope and I'm out to prove a point."
"Oh really, and what would that point be?"
Straightening he gave her a serious look, "I'm out to prove that not all paratroopers are asshole's that throw away the precious gifts they are handed."
Leaning back in her chair she couldn't help but keep the smile as she sipped the coffee. She had to admit he was attractive, ice blue eyes and she estimated his height around 6'1 or 6'2, broad shoulders and blonde hair. He was definitely different that the type of man she'd fallen for.
"So do I pass inspection?"
"Huh? Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare, I was just lost in thought. Thank you for the coffee by the way. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Buck smiled, "well as a matter of fact, you could go to dinner with me tonight. I promise no pressure just food, how about it?"
Kellie cocked her head to the side and thought about it a minute before finally smiling. "Okay, dinner it is. Just remember no funny stuff."
Placing his hand over his heart Buck gave his most serious look, "I swear no funny business. Well unless you really want to."
Christmas-1943
Buck swung her around on the dance floor and pulled her back close to his chest. He loved it when she laughed and right now she was laughing and clinging to him. Not bad for three months of 'take it slow' dating.
With each passing week he'd watched Kellie open herself up to him just a little further. But no matter how opened she appeared the smile never seemed to light up her eyes. Sandra had told him that she'd seen a picture of Kellie and the mystery man together and her eyes had glowed with happiness. Buck had a strong feeling that he'd never see that look in her eyes. Whoever that guy had been, he'd destroyed something precious. He just hoped he never met him.
"Okay big guy, no day dreaming. Remember me you're very beautiful and fun date."
Laughing he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Oh baby, you I could ever forget."
"Mmm, well maybe if you are good, Santa might have one of his elves drop off an early present."
He swept her up off her feet and carried her toward the door, "well then by all means let's get out of here."
Laughing Kellie wiggled until he finally let her slide out of his arms. "Not so fast hero, there is a party going on and I think we should stay and enjoy it."
Kissing her again he led her over to the table they were sharing with another couple and whispered promising things in her ear as they went.
Ron was bored and irritated all at the same time, which currently made him horrible company. He'd been required by his commander to show up at the Christmas party and that had been the last thing he wanted. If he'd been asked, he'd rather have stayed in his room, drunk his scotch and slept for about forty-eight hours.
Glancing around the room he saw several officers that he recognized, along with several ladies from the hospital. Everyone seemed to be wrapped up in this holiday spirit crap, and he supposed most would be spending the night together in some secluded spot.
I wonder how Kellie is. Will she be celebrating with her husband or worse yet, husband and children?
Shaking his head he knocked back the rest of his scotch and turned for another. She was the last person he should be thinking about. He had to maintain his focus. Turning back to the dance floor he saw Compton lift the girl he was with up in his arms and head to the door.
Nothing unusual about that, until the sound of her laughter carried to him across the room, and then he took notice. The distinct laugh had his body tightening in response. There was no way two women laughed like that. Twisting around the people between him and Compton, he saw the woman lean her head against his shoulder as the moved back to the table.
The dark auburn hair was hauntingly familiar. But there was just no way it was Kellie, he'd just been thinking about her too much lately and that was why he forcing her image on another woman.
Watching the table he kept hoping that she would turn so he could see her face. He knew that when that happened, it wouldn't be her and he could carry on. Besides, he still had that fifth of scotch that could kill anything.
He watched as another Easy company officer, Welch he thought, approached and caused the couple to turn and face his direction. Ron was so focused on the face he'd seen a thousand times in his dreams that he didn't realize what he'd done to one of his fellow officers drew his attention.
"Christ Ron, what the hell are you doing?"
Pulling his eyes away from her face he turned on the man with a snarl, "what are you talking about."
The guy grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand up. "This Ron, you just crushed a damn glass. You need to head over to the hospital, this is gonna need stitches."
Pulling his hand away from the man he pulled the glass out of his hand and reached for a towel from the bar. "It's fine. If it's still bleeding later I'll stop by." Looking back to the last place he'd seen her, he saw that Compton and her were leaving.
Turning he made to follow them only to have another hand on his arm stop him. Turning he was ready to snarl another comment when he realized it was his commander holding his arm.
"Ron, I don't know what's going on with you, but we jump in two days. Get that hand taken care of I can't afford to lose you."
Not trusting himself to speak he nodded and turned back toward the door. He knew that following the couple was probably the worst form of torture he could endure, but he had to be sure it was her.
Yeah keep dreaming hero, that was her and you know it, looks like she's found another man to keep her bed warm. Hmm, did you really expect a woman like her to spend their life alone?
He was silently trailing them, anger and jealousy driving him forward. Kellie's head was resting on Compton's shoulder, his arm around her waist. Ron knew exactly what it felt like to hold her close and he wanted nothing more than to rush forward and demand his rights.
A voice sounding suspiciously like Kellie's echoed through his mind, rights, huh what rights big guy. You're the one who walked out on me; you gave up any rights to me.
Clenching his hands he winced when the pain throbbing through his cut hand brought him back to reality. Ahead of him the couple had stopped in front of a modest home, they were too wrapped up in their kissing to ever notice the shadow behind them move a little closer.
Buck's kiss was warm and passionate and deep inside Kellie wished she could find the passion for him he felt for her. She'd tried to hard over the last few months to muster more than nice feelings; but it didn't work, she was still left cold.
Breaking the kiss she ran her hand down his cheek and she heard him sigh.
"You're about to tell me it's time for me to go aren't you?"
"Buck I'm sorry but I have to work tomorrow and well…I just don't think this is the right time."
She felt more than heard his frustrated groan. "Yeah, well when will it be the time? Kellie, you know I care for you and we've played this your way, but darlin', I just want to be with you."
Sighing she pulled her hand from his cheek and stepped back from his embrace. This was exactly why she'd never gotten close to someone; they expected things she wasn't sure she could offer.
"I'm sorry Buck, I care for you very much, but I'm not ready to go that far…and if I'm being honest with both of us, I'm not sure I ever will be."
"Baby, I know he hurt you but I'm not him. Haven't I proven to you that I could be the man you need? You're not even giving me a chance here."
Kellie felt her anger rise, she knew what this was about and it had nothing to do with feelings. "Really, I've not given you a chance. Well let me tell you something, I played the whore for one man and it ended horribly, I'm not about to play the whore again. You don't like it; I'm sure any other woman in England would be glad to fuck you. Good night."
Spinning she was in the door and slamming it in his face before he could move. Laying his hand on the door he thought about knocking and apologizing for everything she'd misunderstood. Shaking his head he knew if he knocked she wouldn't answer and even if she did, she was too hurt and angry to listen. He'd go and talk to her tomorrow, besides he still had her Christmas present to deliver.
Ron stepped out of the shadows and watched Compton walk down the road. He'd been shocked at how Kellie acted, that definitely wasn't the woman he'd left in Georgia. This person was colder and harder, and he wasn't sure he liked the new Kellie.
Yeah well tough, you made her this way, live with it.
Ron shook his head that little voice was really starting to piss him off and here he'd been thinking he'd killed his conscious off.
He laid his hand on the door like Compton had and thought about seeing her again. Would it be the best thing for either of them…probably not, but since when had he done the right thing.
Glancing at his hand he saw it had bled through the towel and was leaving drops on the stoop. Smiling he turned and headed down the road in the same direction he'd watched Compton go. Provence had given him the perfect opportunity to see her again, yet he knew the reception he was going to get would be less than warm.
