I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL! I NEVER HIT SO HARD IN CRACK! SO MUCH CRACK FIC IT BREAKS THE 4TH WALL! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BUST YOUR BALLS! ALL YOU EVER DID WAS BUST MINE!? YEAH YOU, YOU BUST MINE! You know with all those "they gone kiss, they gone kiss, they gone kiss" *table flip * "WHY DON'T THEY KISS!?"
Matthew was walking to Mr. Beilschmidt's room.
Matthew was standing at the board looking at the equation, wishing he knew how to solve this equation and impress his divine savior, who wasn't Kira but was up on the same level. The teacher smiled, tapping his foot. His eyes were closed, almost as if he were one of those characters that had their eyes closed most of the time but when they opened their eyes they would unleash a secret technique passed down through the Armstrong family- wait… wrong fandom.
"I'm waiting," sang the teacher.
Matthew stared at the man. He looked so happy but Matthew could tell he wasn't happy. It was as if a giant spirit eagle was waiting behind him, ready to swoop down and carry Matthew away to be devoured if he didn't get this right… woah wait! Mr. Beilschmidt wanted to carry Matthew away!? That's the same as wanting to run away together. Yes, Matthew is young and inexperienced but he will go with it. Yes! Take him away Teacher! Send him off to the darkest corner of the universe and smother and ravish him… then give him an A. Woah, okay, Matthew had to snap out of it and get to the problem at hand. 1) He has an impossible equation in front of him. 2) He has his illegal crush watching him fail miserably. 3) THE WHOLE CLASS WAS WATCHING HIM FAIL MISERABLY!
Matthew stood outside of the classroom, afraid to go inside.
"Well it looks like you can't solve it. So you can just come see me after school, kk?"
Matthew froze, he felt like a creeper waiting to intrude on his beloved in his sleep. Was that really so bad? Haha, nope Yolo. If anything Gilbert would go to jail, Matthew would get what he wanted, and then be on his merry way. Never again would he allow someone to see him or bother him or come crashing into his life sending everything up in flames turning him to stone in petrified fear. Matthew had walls around him, 50 meters high, to protect him. He didn't want to see what was outside. He just wanted to hide and be himself, away from the watchful eyes of the universe.
"H-hello?"
Matthew peaked in the door but obviously wasn't heard. What he saw next turned his face bright red and made him want to put lit matches into his eye sockets. Mr. Beilschmidt was hunched over his desk making the most obvious noises. Against his better judgment Matthew robotically walked over. There was no way he's seeing hat he thinks he's seeing. The man looked up, piercing red eyes meeting Matthew's.
"Sup kid, just give me a sec to finish up."
Matthew's nose started bleeding and he fell over.
"OH KID!?"
Gilbert stood up to check if Matthew was okay. He ran over to the other side and held the boy in his arms, "Don't die!"
Matthew contemplated not ever moving and enjoying his teacher's hold on him, his desperate calls. Yes, Matthew could just die here. Then Matthew tempted fate. He moved his hand to touch his teacher's bicep. SUCH MUSCLE!? OH BABY!? THESE ARE THE ARMS OF A MAN! YES! Gilbert sighed with relief; it looked like the kid wasn't dead. Gilbert dropped the boy and stood up dusting himself off and examining what was on his desk.
"Figures, I finally manage to solve this and you get blood all over it. What will I tell Ludwig now? There's no way I can manage this a second time…"
Matthew wiped his nose off with his handkerchief, "W-what is that?"
His mind went back to Gilbert's very seeming sexual actions.
"What? Oh this is just a math equation my bro needed help on."
"Y-your brother? That's right, your brother is a freshman in college right?"
"Yeah, he's taking super calculus for super nerds and like a billion other math courses and things like that."
"Oh," Matthew looked at the blood stained homework, "WAIT A MINUTE THAT'S THE QUESTION YOU TRIED TO HAVE ME SOLVE IN CLASS!?"
Matthew was pissed! Lol, no but seriously. Even a teacher couldn't figure it out why did he have Matthew try.
"I thought youth would outweigh experience in this situation."
"Well you knew I couldn't solve it so why did you ask me to meet you here-" Matthew shut up. He looked to the yaoi gods smiling down on them, "God bless you!"
"What?"
Matthew turned back to his confused teacher: a misunderstanding.
"I know you've got this invisible thing down pretty well and for a while even I didn't notice."
Matthew froze, was his obsession with the new teacher that obvious!?
"But my eyes aren't that old, I'm still sharp kid. And I don't condone cheating in my class or any class or any situation for that matter."
Matthew clamed down, oh, so he cans still keep his fantasies to himself. As much as he wouldn't mind just dropping everything and running off with the fantastic specimen standing before him, even Matthew would have to admit that would be moving little too fast.
"Kid, you seem awfully calm for someone who's been caught cheating?"
Oh yeah.
"So I considered just failing you altogether but then I thought that would be harsh. So then when you hit me in the hallway earlier I thought, 'that's how I'll test him!' But you couldn't solve the equation. Anyway I called you here because YOU NEED TO MAKE UP ALL OF THE MATERIAL YOU FAILED TO LEARN."
"WHAT!?"
"FROM NOW ON YOU'LL BE SITTING BY MY DESK IN CLASS AWAY FROM KIKU AND ANY OTHER LIFE RAFT FLOATING AROUND! YOU'LL MEET WITH ME EVERYDAY UNTIL YOU CATCH UP WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS!"
Matthew was about to object but… hello? Alone with Gilbert everyday after school? Even if it is for crummy math Matthew had no complaints.
"You're right," he lied, "I've seen the error of my ways! I will gladly accept your challenge and will readily learn!"
Gilbert clapped, "Great, you're more willing than the other kid. Let's start."
"Yes sir!"
Gilbert took his seat, "but first run down to the convenience store and pick me up a pack of Newport cigs, yeah?"
Since when was the price of tutoring becoming an errand boy for a teacher fresh out of college?
Yay! I updated quickly because I had writers block for a different story! Go me! Hope you're enjoying it!
